Those Three Words

Summary: All the three word phrases Eren and Levi said to/about each other as their relationship changes and gives them a whole new meaning.

5. You're talkative tonight. (Aftermath) (Eren) (Eren POV)

The guilt and sorrow was overwhelming in the suddenly empty castle. Eren felt it crushing him every waking moment and sleep eluded him, so the torture was endless. Whenever he tried closing his eyes for longer than a blink, he would see one of the faces of his comrades, first during a carefree moment with smiles on their faces before it morphed into the last expressions he'd ever seen on them seconds before death had taken them, at the hands of the merciless Female Titan.

The first people who had accepted him as a Titan Shifter that weren't his childhood friends, his family in all but blood, had died protecting him with their lives, even after Eren had chosen to put his trust in them.

The Captain had warned him, though, that they can never know how the choices they make affect their lives later until that later comes and they have to deal with the consequences. The Captain had told him that the only way to live your life is by making choices that you'll regret the least.

Eren's not sure whether his choices in the Forest of Giant Trees are the ones he'd be regretting the least right now. Perhaps he could have saved them. Perhaps they would have all died. Was the return of two out of six a good result for such an elite squad?

And the Captain had been injured, too ... When he was saving Eren with Mikasa. He'd saved them both in that brief battle, if what Mikasa had told him was true and he didn't see why she'd lie in a manner that would only make his admiration for the Captain grow when he knows she dislikes him because of the way he had saved Eren from execution during the trial.

He and the Captain were sitting together in the dining room, just the two of them, only a few lanterns lit so they weren't in complete darkness. Eren wondered if he'd feel more or less miserable if he were actually doused in darkness. If he were, the Captain wouldn't be able to see him - though that might be debatable, considering what Petra had told him about the man's origins, so surely a little lack of light wouldn't deter the Captain's excellent vision - and he wouldn't be able to see the haggard expression on his Captain's face. He wouldn't be able to see the sudden vulnerability in his eyes that would flash in and out of existence in such short intervals that Eren even questioned whether it had been there at all. But the reason he's glad the lights were there was because he got to see the Captain and the Captain could see him, too, so neither of them were alone while being miserable.

And because he felt like he owed it to Squad Levi to look after their beloved Captain. They had so clearly loved and respected the man, trusted him with their lives ...

And Eren's one bad decision killed them.

Then the Captain started talking, breaking him out of his funk. Eren turned his head and looked up towards where the man was sitting, drinking tea while holding his cup in that weird yet strangely endearing way of his. He was listing things off as though reading a report, telling Eren everything that had happened and is likely to happen in the near future, never once looking directly at him. His voice was low but level, almost a whisper but loud enough for Eren to hear him. He must have said more words in Eren's presence than ever before and Eren realized that maybe the Captain was lonely, now stuck with only a kid he was meant to execute should anything ever go even the slightest bit wrong. It broke his heart to even think about it, so he decided to contribute, as awkward as he was trying to be friendly instead of just respectful and obedient towards his Captain.

"You're talkative tonight," he said, trying to smile but tonight was no time to smile, was it? This castle, for all that it had mostly housed just six people until today, had been so full of life and now only two were left, a man and a boy, both haunted by death with every step they take. A man and a boy with titles thrust upon them, balancing the weight of humanity on their shoulders.

Eren wondered if he was the first person ever to take on even a part of the load from Humanity's Strongest Soldier's shoulders or if the man had always dealt with it alone.

"I'm always talkative," replied the raven haired man and the teen wasn't sure how to take that. Did that mean that Captain Levi was more talkative around people he trusted and was comfortable with? But why would he be talkative around Eren, of all people? Eren was the reason the Captain had lost people to be talkative around, after all.

His confused musings came to a stop when the Captain made a sound of annoyance that might have been pain and put down his tea cup just to run his hand over the leg that had been injured during Eren's rescue. The guilt came crashing down on him all over again. "I'm sorry," he apologized, dropping his gaze back onto the table. "Back then, if I hadn't made the wrong choice ... " He made tight fists against his own legs to prevent himself from shaking in rage, sorrow and loss. "This wouldn't have happened."

"I told you," Captain Levi said, dragging Eren's attention back to him. "No one ever knows how things will turn out." The Captain was looking at him now and even in the dim lighting, Eren could see his sharp eyes clearly. There was no accusation there, only a shared grief and an understanding. An offer of acceptance, almost. "You're not the one to blame, Eren. If you're going to blame anyone, blame that Female Titan." He made an annoyed sound a moment later when Eren continued staring at him. "What? Do you gotta go take a shit?"

Eren wasn't even fazed by the Captain's foul language and crude shit jokes. Hell, they were even sort of funny! But that was not the point here. "I promise to do better, Captain."

The older man just stared at him for a moment before picking his cup back up and taking a sip. When he lowered the cup away from his mouth, he looked at one of the lanterns and casually started talking about their fallen comrades. Eren didn't know how long they had stayed up that night, but he was never once forced to go to the basement to sleep in his cell and the Captain remained in a talkative mood until early in the morning, when the Commander and Hange gathered everyone for one last desperate attempt at capturing the Female Titan, whom Armin believes to know the identity of.

Ever since then, Eren and Levi were to each other that one person they could always go to when they needed to get something off of their chest. Or even to just share some silence in each other's company.

And the Captain made Eren perfect how to make his tea so they can share it almost every night.

It was the start of something new, something deeper, something precious.

Something both would fight for.