Mark looked stunned.
"Wait, I thought Drakkon killed the Red Ranger during the White Tiger transfer? I heard he kept his shattered helmet as a trophy?"
Jamie's eyes moved slowly to Mark's face.
"That's what he wanted everyone to think so no one would try to rescue me. He wanted me to give him tactics and battle strategies to defeat the Rangers in other timelines. He took my Tyranno coin and perverted its power into the Red Sentries."
More tears welled up and spilled down the angular cheeks as he roughly continued.
"Drakkon tortured me. Physically and mentally. I held out as long as I could but eventually, I couldn't take the pain anymore."
He began to brokenly sob, the act making his already strained throat burn sharply. Bear whined and nudged his damp nose into Jamie's leg.
"Mark, he got the information from me. He used it and more people died. Because of me."
A tear slid from Mark's eye as he listened to his friend's pain.
"I blamed myself for years. Years. Because he stole the White Tiger coin and because I couldn't be strong enough to keep my mouth shut. I found out that he drugged me during the fight and knocked me out. He bullied me into believing that I deserved to suffer and be humiliated because I failed."
Jamie squeezed his eyes tightly shut as the memories made his chest ache. More hot tears rolled down his cheeks and he turned his head in shame. The act of saying out loud to another human being what had transpired in Drakkon's prison further entrenched the terrible totality of happened to him.
"Afterward, when he got what he wanted, I expected to die. I was ready to be honest. The pain would end, the humiliation, the suffering. But that was not the end, Mark. It got so much worse."
Mark gingerly put a hand over his friend's arm resting on the table. Jamie flinched slightly but quickly relaxed under the gesture. His calming presence gave the frightened man strength. He swallowed the painful lump in his throat and continued.
"Drakkon continued to attack me mentally. He invaded my mind, shredded my sanity. Every method of psychological torture you can think of, he carried out. Sensory deprivation, isolation, gaslighting, putting mind altering drugs in my food. When he allowed me to eat anyways. Not letting me sleep," he forced out, his eyes still closed. "Drakkon kept my nerves constantly on edge; I could never predict what kind of mood he would be in or what his game was going to be."
Mark felt anger on behalf of his friend towards the murderous asshole that caused him so much torment. He ground his teeth as he continued to listen to Jamie's story. Missing pieces were steadily falling into place.
"This part of my story isn't easy, Mark, and it's confusing. Even to me but I'll share it with you," Jamie whispered, lifting his head to look at Mark. "It's also embarrassing and I'm afraid I will sound insane or dangerous."
Mark shook his head firmly.
"No, Jamie. If anyone's insane or dangerous, it's that asshole, Drakkon! That evil piece of shit!"
He wished he could get his hands on that mad man, even though he'd never had a physical confrontation in his life. Pure rage would make up for that in this case, he was sure.
"Whatever he did to you, Jamie, you never deserved, ok? Not one bit! He did it because he's the devil and he wanted to sharpen his claws on you," Mark spat hotly.
Jamie had never seen his friend this angry before. He steeled himself in preparation of discussing the transformation from Jason into Red. If Mark was already this upset, what was coming was only going to exacerbate it.
He cleared his throat.
"All that pummeling on my sense of self took a toll, which was exactly what he wanted. Somehow, he did manage to kill Jason in a way. He murdered one identity so he could cultivate another: Red. I've kept most of Red's memories blocked out because the ones that have come through are so disgusting and abhorrent, I don't know I could take any more."
Mark forced his emotions to quell in fear that the strong feelings might further stress his friend.
"Red?" he asked.
"Yes. Red was… was.." he stammered, feeling very small and vulnerable. "He was Drakkon's pet. His dog basically. He culled the behaviors he wanted me to display and over time, I believed that's all I was. An animal. And Drakkon was my master who I moved heaven and earth to please. I was his "good boy" and I felt proud of that. Drakkon would compete with other war lords in cage fights where I was pitted against their fighters."
Mark's eyes were wide with his astonishment. He'd never heard or even considered such a punishment. A complete hijacking of another's mind and reality.
Jamie regarding the other man's expression carefully as he continued.
"I was aggressive and angry. I'd fly into rages and attack anyone who wasn't Drakkon. What happened tonight was a Red Rage. I mostly had them under control; obviously a piece of Red still lives on," he chuckled sadly.
Mark tilted his head in curiosity.
"How did you ever break free from being Red? I mean, you made it here and you're not Drakkon's attack dog anymore," he asked.
This time Jamie's smile was genuine.
"I had friends who never gave up on me. They kept trying to break through Red's warped reality. I have a lot of guilt because as Red I attacked them just as violently as anyone else. It took a version of Drakkon from another timeline, one that wasn't evil, to get through Drakkon's wall. And seeing Drakkon himself actively lying."
Jamie shrugged and shook his head.
"I don't know. Just new pieces of a puzzle I didn't know existed fell into place."
He smiled, remembering the feeling of waking up, like he'd been in a deep sleep for years. Then his smile faltered. Mark noticed and patted his arm reassuringly.
"But Jason was dead. I wasn't him anymore and I couldn't be him. It was like Jason was a separate entity even though we shared memories and history. And Red was dissolving. I was an empty shell. I tried to die and that didn't work out," he sighed. "So I had to become yet another identity."
Now the fear began creeping back into his face.
"I wasn't the only one who failed to die, Mark. My worst nightmare come to life happened this afternoon. The whole reason I never revealed who I was or let my friends know I was still alive. I thought I was protecting everyone," he whimpered. "Drakkon always said I could never run far enough or fast enough, that no one could protect me. I belonged to him forever. He was obsessed."
Realization started dawning in Mark's face now.
"Wait, wait, wait! Are you telling me that messed up guy in the wheelchair is…" he trailed off, horrified.
Jamie's dark, terrified eyes and trembling lips were his answer.
"No way! No fucking way! How in the hell?" he exclaimed.
Jamie shook his head.
"I have no idea. He had to leave before we got to that part of our conversation. Of course, he told me his room number and invited me to visit him."
"Fuck him!" Mark spit. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you jumped over that table and broke his neck! How did you keep from killing him right there?"
Feeling cowardly, Jamie whispered, "I was afraid of raging out of control and hurting someone else. And like David, Drakkon, whoever, pointed out, I'd scare a bunch of vulnerable, innocent people."
Mark growled.
"If they knew that asshole was in their midst, they would be more than fine with it," he declared.
"I think I was just in shock and denial," Jamie sniffed. "I worked so hard to create this life and I love it so much, I just…"
His throat was pure agony now with forcing his story out. But if he hadn't done it now, he might never have worked up the courage.
"If you want, I can let my wife know I'm staying out here tonight. If you don't want to be alone," Mark offered.
'No' Jamie mouthed. 'Might rage.'
"Ok," Mark sighed. "Do you plan to actually visit that piece of shit?"
Jamie shrugged. 'Don't know. Questions.'
Mark glared. "I don't know what he could possibly have to say that's of any value. It might take a big toll on your mind, Jamie."
He stood up and started gathering his belongings. Bear trudged to his spot on a rug near Jamie's bed, spun in a slow series of circles, and hunkered down, his head on his tail. Jamie felt his own exhaustion becoming unbearable. Unburdening this secret pain left him feeling nervous and timid.
"At least think hard about it before you do anything. Promise?" Mark asked.
'Ok,' his friend mouthed.
"Look at me, Jamie. I need you understand this, ok? You are not responsible for what Drakkon did. Nor did you deserve what he did to you. He did what he did because he wanted to, and he would have done so no matter what you did or said. The fault is his alone. Don't carry it because it doesn't belong to you," Mark said firmly.
Jamie sat with tears in his eyes as he looked up at his friend.
"I mean it, Jamie. If anything, you had more bravery and strength than anyone I've ever known to live through what he did and become who you are now. You brought Jamie to life and he is the kindest, gentlest, strongest person I've had the pleasure to know. And if you give me the word, I'll go right now to that facility, drag his ass out to that fancy fountain out front, and hold him under until the bubbles stop. I mean it," he exclaimed, feeling some joy in seeing Jamie's eyes start to sparkle with suppressed laughter.
Then Jamie pulled himself up from the table and, in a few broad strides, wrapped his arms around Mark in a fierce hug. Gently, Mark held Jamie close, touched that his friend trusted him enough for this.
"Thank you, Mark," Jamie croaked roughly.