Emily was cold.

She hated feeling weak. Powerless. Powerless was how she felt, watching Doyle run out of the room and out of her life. Again. Out of her life she didn't care about so much. She doubted she'd live much longer anyway, if the blood on the floor was anything to go by. But out of the room meant away from justice. And closer to Declan.

If there was one thing Ian Doyle was, it was determined. And Emily knew, from the moment he found out Declan was alive, there was nothing and no one who would be able to stop Doyle from tracking him down.

Emily was cold, and Derek's hands were warm. "Morgan?" she mumbled, as his face swam into view. He said something back, and then he was gone again. Emily was cold, and she wanted to be warm again, and Derek was one of the warmest people she knew.

She needed to go after him. She needed to find Doyle and end him before he could find Declan. "Let me go," she said, but Derek shook his head. He didn't understand. He needed to let her go after Doyle, she had to get him before… before…

Emily was cold.

There was something calling to her. She opened her eyes, and stood up, but she was in a void. A dark, cold, void. She wanted to scream, but nothing came out - she knew if she breathed there would be nothing but ice in her lungs, in her veins, in her heart. There was something calling to her, but it was getting quieter and quieter and it was so cold, it was so cold that she couldn't think and she couldn't breathe and she could feel herself slipping, slipping, slipping away…

Emily was warm.

Someone was holding her hand. She got a whiff of perfume, familiar perfume… she smelt citrus and green tea… roses and clean laundry and a breath of fresh air… she could smell JJ. Emily was tired, so tired, but she forced her eyes open, squinting at the sudden brightness.

Someone came into view. Familiar blue eyes and golden blonde hair, forehead creased with worry.

"JJ," Emily croaked, and JJ's forehead smoothed.

"Hey there," JJ said. "You're awake."

"I'm awake," Emily agreed, and tried to sit up.

JJ placed a gentle but firm hand on Emily's shoulder, keeping her where she was. "Woah," she said. "Take it easy. You're not in great shape."

She remembered. The branding… the fight… the stake. "Where's Doyle?"

JJ bit the inside of her cheek. "No sign of him yet."

"He got away?" Emily said, trying to sit up again, panic flooding her. He could have found Declan by now. He'd be finding the right path, at least, and that was far too close to Declan for comfort.

"He'll turn up. Emily, you really need to lie down, or they'll have to put you under again."

Oh, right. Emily winced at the memory of the stake Doyle had thrust into her stomach, the sharp pain that had slowly dulled as the life leaked out of her body and onto that cold, concrete floor. She glanced at her midsection, half-expecting to see the stake still sticking out, but all she could see were white hospital bed sheets. "I forgot about that."

JJ gave her a small smile. "I'm not surprised, with the amount of drugs you've got in your system."

"Mm, yeah, must be on the good stuff because I don't feel a thing." Emily squeezed JJ's hand, remembering how she had squeezed Derek's when he found her in that warehouse. She wondered what they knew. If they were sitting outside right now, wondering if she was dead. "JJ, the team - "

"The team's fine," JJ said quickly, before Emily's mind could start running away from her again.

"Do they think I'm -" Dead, she couldn't say it. She'd felt it - death - creeping up on her… she remembered the all-encompassing cold crushing her, and shuddered, clutching JJ's warm hand a little tighter.

"Not yet," JJ replied. "But that's up to you."

"That's why you're here, right?" Of course it would be JJ. JJ with her new clearance. JJ who could be counted on to keep a secret. JJ who wouldn't tell a soul that Emily was alive.

JJ nodded. "Yes. If we fake your death - "

"Doyle won't come looking for me."

"But if we do, then, well…"

"The team."

"Yeah," JJ said with a sigh. "The team will think you're dead."

Emily closed her eyes. "I can't do that to them." The idea of her team - no, her family, thinking she was dead… it would tear them apart. She'd seen the worry in their eyes over the past couple of weeks. Spencer and Penelope had known immediately that something was up and she hadn't breathed a single word about it except 'Lauren Reynolds is dead'. Soon they would think that Emily Prentiss was dead too and it would crush them.

"Em…" JJ said. She grabbed Emily's hand, pulled it from her mouth and squeezed it tight. Emily hadn't even noticed that she was chewing her thumbnail.
She shook her head. "No, Jayje, I can't. Not after everything they've been through… Haley…"

"Hotch will know."

"But Spence, Garcia… Morgan…" Derek had sounded so scared when he had found her bleeding out. He'd been desperate. She'd seen him cry before but she'd never heard him as scared as he had been when she lay dying.

"They'll be alright," JJ said unconvincingly. JJ might be good at keeping secrets, but she'd never been good at lying to Emily.

"They won't be."

"Not at first."

Emily closed her eyes. She didn't want to do this to them, but she wasn't sure she had a choice. "Will I be dead forever?" If Doyle knew she was alive, he would come after her again, she knew it. And he wouldn't let her get away a third time. At least now… if she just waited, she'd be able to go back to them eventually. And that was better than nothing.

"Well, that's up to you. With your connections… you could make a whole new life for yourself. A quiet life, in France, or Italy maybe. You wouldn't have to go through something like this again." She wouldn't be able to go to Italy without thinking of Rossi. And thinking about Rossi would make her think of the rest of them and that would make her want to go running right back home.

"But I'd have to leave my family behind." It always came down to them. Her team. Her family. Her team who she trusted with her life, who trusted her with theirs. The people she loved more than anyone in the world. The people she would die to protect if that's what it took.

"Well, yeah. But you'd be safe. And we'd be safe."

"Doyle won't live forever."

"No."

"I can't leave you behind."

"I know. And you won't. Not forever." JJ took Emily's hand again. JJ's hands were always soft. Comforting.

Emily knew what she had to do.

If she had to die to protect them, then she would die. Not forever. She would be cold for a while without them, but she would survive knowing that soon she would be basking in their warmth again. "Not forever," she repeated, and JJ's smile was the only thing she needed.

Emily was cold, but the memory of warmth was what kept her going.