Chapter 15

Lee walked around the high school campus pushing a stroller. Last week he was at a black tie dinner party in Milan with a buxom blonde on his arm. Cecily, he thought her name was. She'd had on too much makeup and drank too much. He ended up pouring her into a cab and sending her back to her hotel. There was exotic food and the best champagne. Today, he was pushing a stroller around a school gymnasium. Amanda on his arm, and Jenny holding her hand. Phillip and Dotty somewhere behind them.

Last week the thought of this would have him thinking he needed to commit himself, he was actually proud to be pushing this stroller.

"Over here, sweetheart," Amanda said to him, pointing to a display in the back corner. Jamie stood confidently in front of it. He blushed shyly though when the family headed in his direction. Lee studied the young man as they approached him. It was clear that while he was confident, he desperately wanted his family's approval.

"Hi," he said nervously and pushed his glasses up his nose. Lee heard the other's greet Jamie but his attention was already captured by the images hanging behind him. Photographs, candid's, mostly of the family. They were all black and white. Each family member had a close up, no one seemed to be aware that Jamie had taken the photograph. There were several of different groups of them. The little kids with Dotty, Lee with Phillip, Amanda and Matthew-they were amazing.

"Oh Jamie," he heard Amanda gush, her husky voice cracking with emotion. Lee was enthralled by the images. He shouldn't have been surprised but Jamie's talent was incredible.

Lee jumped slightly when he heard a voice at his shoulder, "what do you think?" Lee turned to see Jamie looking at him pointedly. Jamie wanted his opinion. Lee swallowed thickly and shook his head. He wasn't sure what to say at first.

"Jamie," he finally settled on, "these are…" looked at each one again, "simply wonderful. You've captured some...your eye for…" he laughed at his ineptness at articulating his thoughts. Finally he turned and looked Jamie in the eye, "I am so proud of you," he watched at Jamie's eyes lit up at his praise. "These are so good. And good is not a strong enough word," he told him.

Jamie beamed at him, "I got an A+ on it," he told him proudly.

Lee clamped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, "I wouldn't have doubted you." He knew the other Lee wouldn't have doubted this young man for anything.

They spent the rest of the afternoon looking at few other displays, paintings, sculptures and other photographs, before the little kids started getting restless and admittedly he himself was getting bored. It wasn't like they were at the Louvre in Paris or the Museo Nacional del Prado in Madrid.

Amanda announced it was time for dinner. Phillip suggested some pizzas and a picnic in the back yard. Lee noticed Amanda's first instinct was to say no but between the two older boys, Jenny and Lee himself, she gave in.

After dinner, Lee and Phillip shot hoops, while Amanda and Dotty sat at the picnic table with the little kids. Matthew ran between the table and where Lee and Phillip were playing. Jamie had pulled out his camera and was taking random pictures. Lee stopped for a moment, taking it all in. He watched as Phillip gave Jenny the basketball and was helping her make a basket.

He paused as he stood there and watched the rest of this family. He was so overcome with emotion. He wasn't unhappy to be here he realized suddenly. In this cramped house in Arlington. He looked around and watched as the family laughed with each other. His heart swelled and he felt his eyes fill with tears. The scene before him was so incredible he had to turn away.

"What's wrong daddy?" he hadn't heard the little girl come up behind him.

He turned toward her and shook his head, "Nothing," he tried to give her a smile that he was sure came out pained, "do you…want to go for a walk with me?" he asked her out of nowhere, he had no idea he was going to ask her that. The words just fell out of his mouth.

"Ok," she said, her eyes lighting up. She grabbed his hand she turned to the others, "we're going for a walk, just me and daddy," she announced. At Amanda's 'ok' they took off on the sidewalk down the street. He realized he'd had moments of meaningful time with everyone but Jennifer. He was sure she was named for his mother. Like Matthew was named for his father, because Amanda is that insightful.

They were quiet until they reached the park where Jenny climbed up onto a bench, so he eased himself down next to her, "do you wanna stay with us?" she asked him out of the blue, before he even got himself settled.

He studied her for a moment, "Why do you think I'm not your father?" he asked her instead, it intrigued him that how she was the only one in the family that was certain he was a different person. Sort of. Amanda knew he was out of sorts for a while but Jennifer seemed to know immediately he was different.

She shrugged, "your eyes don't crinkle in the same way. They should crinkle up right here," she told him pointing to the corner of his eye, "and he never hesitated to change Matty-"

"I can't believe anyone jumps at the chance to change a poopy diaper-" he injected dryly.

"And you never say it now," she said sadly kicking her feet.

He furrowed his brows, "say what?" he asked her. She just shrugged and looked away, "come on, you have to tell me," he said, trying to coax it out of her.

She looked at him dejectedly and shook her head, "I shouldn't have to," she sighed and looked away, "my daddy would know."

He realized she was right and that broke his heart, "yeah I know, I know...I guess he would." He could never replace the Lee that lived in this life. There was still so much he didn't know.

"So, are you gonna stay?" she asked him.

He studied her face, she did look like him but she looked so much like Amanda too, "Well, I would like to but, I see now that maybe it would be better for you if I didn't," he said softly, "you probably would really rather have the other me back."

"I hope you don't think it's 'cause I don't like you…" she said nervously.

"Naw, I understand," he said as he ran his hand over her hair, "I like you a lot too. And your mom and brothers and your grandma. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how I got here, I don't know where he went. I don't know how to flip us back," he sighed dejectedly. They sat quietly for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts.

Finally Jenny nodded, "ok, well like grandma always says 'whatever happens, happens'," she looked up at him innocently and he nodded at her. He understood what she meant, they would deal with whatever happened and accept it.

"Ok," he stood up and reached his hand out to her, she took it and they headed back to the house.