Untold Levels of Construction

"Ugh, when is Magneto going to restock the base's supply of aspirin?" Mastermind grumbled trudging down a hallway. "My skin feels like it's on fire due to all the claw marks from the recent fight with Sabertooth. That uncouth barbarian thinks he won just because he beat me up and called my powers lame. Ha! I can't wait to see his face when he realizes he drank a few gallons worth of liquid laxatives and anti-diarrheals instead of beer. Let's see how his vaunted healing factor deals with that…aaahhhhhh!" Mastermind yelped as he unexpectedly stepped on a small, multi-wheeled object which caused him to lose his footing and sent him zooming down the hallway. "YAAAHHHHH!"

CRASH!

"Ohhh…" Mastermind groaned as he lay in a heap having sped into the Recreation Room before coming to a stop by flipping over the couch. "I think I just tore open my latest row of stitches. Not to mention my spleen. Oooh…"

"Nice entrance there, Masty," Remy quipped from nearby. "You here to join in the fun?"

"Fun?" Mastermind blinked slowly sitting up. He looked around and saw the entire room was filled with piles of brightly-colored metal, wooden and plastic pieces of various shapes and sizes. "What the heck are you lunatics doing now? I ask with the usual foreboding sense of dread and inevitable feeling of doom."

"We're playing with construction sets," Pyro chirped happily. "The toys of geniuses!"

"That doesn't explain why you're playing with them," Mastermind grumbled. "Then again, considering your collective intelligences have an equivalent mental age of three and under…"

"Construction sets are not just for geniuses," Piotr commented while working on a model depiction of Ivan the Great Bell Tower that was nearly as tall as he was. "They can be used and played with by people of all ages."

"And they're pretty versatile too," Remy grinned from behind a life-sized brick fortress. "These days construction sets let you build anything from desk-destined bric-a-brac to working pneumatic motors, generators and hot tubs."

"I could certainly use a long soak in one of the latter right about now," Mastermind winced holding his side. "If only there was a hot tub where one could soak and relax one's brain."

"I tried doing that to myself once," Pyro commented. "I shot a burst of fire in one ear and it came out the other."

"Not surprising considering there's nothing between your ears except a sphere of empty space," Mastermind snapped. "Dare I even ask why you maniacs are playing with a bunch of construction toys like a troop of little kids? I mean besides the obvious…"

"Not much. We just felt like working on our creative and construction skills," Remy said. "Especially since our recent attempts to renovate the base didn't work out quite the way we planned."

"No kidding," Mastermind groaned.

"So we decided to try modeling out our designs first," Piotr continued. "As practice for when we decide to rebuild, repair and redesign the base in real life."

"If only I could attempt to do the same with my life," Mastermind moaned. "Which I really wish only existed in some insane nutcase's deluded imagination instead of reality." He shook his head while gazing around at the multitude of construction sets and pieces surrounding them. "Where in the world did you fools manage to get your hands on so many different construction toys? How many are in here?"

"Eh, only a few million pieces," Pyro shrugged casually. "You'd be amazed at what random stuff Mags has just lying around some of the base's storage rooms."

"We also nicked…I mean, picked some out from a few nearby warehouses," Remy whistled innocently. "Not to mention the dockyards, some cargo container yards, half a dozen toy stores…"

"I should have known," Mastermind rolled his eyes.

"We do plan to donate the construction sets to various charities once we are done with them," Piotr blushed slightly. "At least those that make it through unbroken. Toy prices these days are very high."

"That's because all the big toy manufacturers are secretly controlled by an international conglomerate of world governments who want to deprive young ankle-bitters of all the fun and happiness of being kiddies," Pyro explained. "They want to reduce their future workforces to nothing but mobs of mindless, joyless drones while all the good toys are enjoyed only by a chosen future elite. And high toy prices also contribute to the rising cost of living and lower birth rates. Which is also part of a sinister plot to have fewer mutants be born and appear in the future!"

"Huh?" A stunned Mastermind gaped. "How the heck does any of that relate to…?"

"Trust me, Masty," Remy gave him a warning look. "You don't want to know."

"Right, thanks," Mastermind groaned holding a hand to his head. "I had a momentary lapse of insanity. Which seems to happen more and more often the longer I'm exposed to you nuts!"

"I had a similar reaction the first time I came here," Piotr admitted. "But I eventually learned to give in, go with the flow and enjoy myself whenever possible and within reason. Like playing with these construction sets." Piotr smiled while indicating his model bell tower. "They are very fun. I like working with wooden pieces the most. They feel very natural and have just the right weight."

"It's the newer sets for me," Pyro grinned while encased within a large model roller coaster built from a hybrid of sleek, shiny pieces. "Neat, strong and waterproof. And they're really easy to work with. Right, Pippi?"

"Do-doh! Do-doh!" Pippi hooted while picking through a pile of blocks, rods and gears with her beak. A half-finished nest-like contraption stood next to her.

"Pippi even made an entire set of wheeled roller coaster cars," Pyro boasted proudly.

"And she built them better, faster and sturdier-designed than you," Piotr reminded.

"I should have known," Mastermind groaned. "That explains that cursed wheeled thing I stepped on in the hallway. Reason I Don't Like That Stupid Dodo Number Seventy-Two…"

"Personally, I prefer the classics," Remy smiled patting the walls of his brick-based fortress. "Nothing like unleashing your imagination upon a pile of snap-together building blocks to make you feel like a kid."

"That's because you're all little kids! Both mentally and emotionally!" Mastermind snapped getting to his feet. "Now the only adult in the room is leaving in hopes of drowning his sorrows with some adult beverages!"

"Aw, c'mon, Masty," Pyro urged as Mastermind headed for the exit. "Stay and play and build stuff along with us! You know you want to…"

"Ha!" Mastermind barked dismissively. "As if!"

"Playing with construction toys is a basic aspect of human nature," Piotr noted. "And mutant nature too. You just need to find one that fits the best for you."

"Yeah, we got all kinds of sets here," Pyro said sweeping an arm at the piles of construction toys. "There are Lincoln Logs, Tinkertoys, Construx, K'Nex, Legos, Erector sets…"

"Erector sets?" Mastermind repeated freezing in the doorway.

"Yep, a big ol' pile of 'em," Remy jerked a thumb at a mound of metal nuts, bolts, panels, and girders. "Along with every expansion kit you can imagine."

"Really?" Mastermind slowly turned around. "You don't say."

"We do say," Piotr confirmed noticing the look in Mastermind's eyes. "Did you ever play with an Erector set when you were a child?"

"I didn't have much of anything when I was a child," Mastermind muttered while staring fixated at the gleaming pile of metal pieces. "My family could barely afford to put food on the table much less toys in my hands. I never got to play with any kind of Erector set. Always wanted to though…"

"Well, now's your chance," Pyro smiled. "Rekindle your childhood desires and seize the chance to finally live out your dreams!"

"Well, maybe just this once…what am I saying?" Mastermind yelped slapping himself in the face. "Arggghh, that's it! I'm out of here! I knew you idiots' insanity was contagious!"

"C'mon, Masty. There's no reason to feel ashamed about wanting to live out a cherished childhood dream," Remy said. "You don't want to go through life regretting not seizing opportunities to be happy when you had the chance. Just give in and enjoy yourself."

"No!" Mastermind howled defiantly turning back around. "I am not some overgrown, childish lunatic like you nuts! I am a mature, responsible adult! And I am going to keep a clear, disciplined mind and not indulge in any silly, immature antics!"

Later…

"Ah, finally," Magneto strode out from the Sphere Hangar looking very relieved. "It certainly took long enough to find sufficient stocks of stored aspirin to restock the base's supply. Several of the storehouses and cargo container yards I visited looked like they had been looted recently. Strange. Good thing I decided to get a double load of aspirin this time. I never want to run out of it again. Having to go this long without any kinds of physical and mental painkillers has been nearly unbearable!"

Magneto passed through the base while thinking about his future plans. "I will have to create some new aspirin storage spaces. I'll assign Gambit and Pyro to do another inventory of the storage rooms to see what all I can consolidate. Right after I tell Colossus to move as much aspirin into the Infirmary as it will hold…huh?" Magneto paused as he heard several shouts and strange noises coming from the Recreation Room. He headed to it and cautiously peeked inside. "What in the world…?"

"Hehehehehe!" Mastermind cackled giddily as he sat surrounded by a growing multitude of erected models and structures while wearing a toy construction hat. "I am the master builder! No mind or imagination in existence can measure up to me! I am the maker of worlds! Hahahahaha!"

"In your dreams!" Remy snorted from atop a tall, crenellated brick tower. "Your creations are nothing compared to my ultimate Thieves' stronghold and getaway! The only thing missing is a certain lovely femme to share it with…"

"Waaahoooooo!" Pyro whooped riding inside a fire-propelled, two-person car as it zipped around a wild looping track that circled the entire Recreation Room. "This is great! Ya gotta love it, right Pippi?"

"Do-doh! Py-roh!" Pippi hooted perched in Pyro's lap.

"Ah, it is all coming together. Yes…yes…" Piotr chanted with a crazy look in his eye while standing among half a dozen completed domed towers. "Must erect more models. Must fulfill my desire to build. More! More!"

"Huh?" A stunned Magneto gaped at the scene in shock. "Okay, of all the crazy possible antics these fools could be up to, I definitely didn't expect this."

"Alright! A new commercial district has just been rezoned," Mastermind chirped happily. "Gotta clear the area." He picked up the controls for a crane-mounted wrecking ball. "Fire in the hole!"

SMASH!

CRASH!

CRUNCH!

"Hey, watch it!" Remy shouted as part of his fortress' outer walls collapsed. "Ah, we're under attack!" He quickly charged up a fistful of loose construction pieces. "Take this!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"Yikes!" Mastermind yelped as several of his completed structures blew up. "That's it! Two can play this game!" He powered up a collection of model bulldozers and sent them rumbling towards Remy's fortress. "You want a construction war, pal? You got one!"

"Wheeeeee!" Pyro cheered as a section of roller coaster collapsed. He and Pippi zooming off the rails and began colliding into every raised structure in their path. "Now this is what I call a ride! Yay!"

"This however does meet my expectations," Magneto groaned as the Acolytes proceeded to unleash destruction and mayhem upon the room. "Unfortunately."

"BACKHOES FORWARD!" Mastermind yelled.

"DIE, STEAMROLLERS, DIE!" Remy shouted continuing his barrage.

"YAAAHOOOOOO!" Pyro cackled maniacally while zooming around a newly created roller coaster track made of flames. "LOOP-DE-LOOPS! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Build..build…" Piotr repeated as he instinctively made repairs to the series of towers that were hopelessly caught in the crossfire. "Must build. Must create. Must let my imagination run wild!"

"That's not the only thing running wild around here," Magneto moaned turning around and quickly headed back towards the Sphere Hangar. "I'm going out to get an additional triple load of aspirin. I'm certainly going to need it!"

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.