Chapter 3 - Close Encounter with Rock Bottom

Thankfully, the rain decided to let up when Bailey parked on the side of the road. She shut her black Cherokee off and dashed for the door. She didn't care about her shoes or anything else as she trampled mud over the clean carpet. "Faith!" She ran into the little girl's room, but found it empty.

"Bailey!" Faith's voice called out from across the house.

Bailey ran into the bathroom at once. Gavin was in his button-up and dress pants, hunched over the toilet. She could see the soles of his shoes pointing up as he sat on his knees. As for Faith, she was crying while standing beside him. Bailey took Faith's hand and walked the little girl to her bedroom. She set her down on the edge of her bed and knelt down and kissed her forehead. "I've got everything under control, okay? Everything is going to be alright; don't you worry."

Faith shook her head up and down and Bailey left her room to assess the situation. In the bathroom, she set her car keys and phone on the sink nearby, just in case she had to call 911. "Gavin," she shook his shoulders. His chin was rested against the top of his hand which was planted on the rim of the toilet.

He was sitting with his legs bent beneath him, his other hand propped against the floor. "Faith said you were bleeding." Bailey got down on her knees beside him and began to inspect his face. "Look at me," she told him. His eyes were glassy and he turned his head slightly to the right. His near white hair was matted with blood and she could clearly see the broken skin on his forehead.

"Did you fall?" she asked. The smell of alcohol that radiated from him was revolting.

He didn't respond to her. Instead, he turned his head back to the toilet to vomit. Liquid was the only thing that came out. She then looked under the sink for a first aid kit and grabbed a rag as well. She wet the rag with warm water and then stood behind him to wipe some of the blood away from his forehead. She then took a band-aid from the kit and placed it over the cut. Thankfully, it wasn't too deep, mostly an abrasion. She had no idea what to do with him after that. His once red tie was clearly stained and she didn't want him to sleep that way, but she also didn't know if she could handle changing his clothes. Obviously since he had hit his head, she feared he would lose his balance again and take her down with him. He was tall, about six feet, and she was by no means strong enough to keep him standing.

She turned towards the shower and began to run some warm water. She then pulled him back by his shoulders from the toilet and untied his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and pulled his black tank top over his head.

Shortly after that, she coaxed him to his feet. She placed his hands on the button of his pants and, despite how intoxicated he was, he was able to at least perform that task while swaying back and forth. She untied his shoes and he slipped them off by the heels. She kept a steady hand on his shoulder while he did this and his left arm was against the wall. With his shoes now off, she slid his pants down and helped him step out of them along with his socks. She left his boxers on as she then guided him into the shower. "Sit," she told him as if he were a dog.

He did as he was told and the water poured over his bloody hair. She then took his dirty clothes to the laundry room and placed them in the hamper for him to deal with later on. From his bedroom she brought down his blanket and a couple pillows where she made a little pallet for him on the couch. Getting him up the stairs was not going to be an option. After that, she went back into the kitchen to get the garbage can so that she could place it nearby in case he got sick again.

Returning to the bathroom, she pulled back the shower curtain. He had his knees pulled to his chest and his eyes were closed with his head bowed forward. She went to the sink and put some toothpaste on his toothbrush. "Here," she told him not really knowing how much good it would do for him. He opened his eyes half way and brushed his teeth slowly. He looked like a slobbering dog, with foam running over his lips and down his chin. To her it was as if he was slightly brain dead and it was a dreadful state to see him in. She left the bathroom again to get him a change of clothes.

When she had returned again, she pulled the curtain back. He had set his toothbrush behind him and was nodding off in the tub. She laid down some towels for when he got out and also to serve as a cushion for her knees so she could wash his hair to get the dried blood out. Once that was done, she put some soap on his scrubby and handed it to him. "Here," she told him again. She stood and went back to the toilet to flush it and slammed the seat and lid down as if claiming her dominance in this household he couldn't maintain alone.

She washed her hands and then turned back to the shower to shut the water off. Pulling another towel from the rack, she began to dry his hair. "Don't fall asleep yet," she told him noticing his eyes fluttering. She then helped him to his feet and out of the tub. "Hold this," She continued to bark orders as they stood together on top of the towels. Bailey had him hold the towel open by the corners in front of his waist so she could slide his soaking wet boxers from his body and keep his privacy. He attempted to step out of them once they were at his feet, but lost his balance. She grabbed him at once feeling as if she was dressing a toddler. The adrenaline of the moment gave her more strength than she thought possible. Although he had dropped the towel, she kept her eyes on his collar bone and took him towards the toilet seat to sit down so he could get dressed.

Once that ordeal was finished, she walked him out of the bathroom to the couch to lay him down for some rest. She noticed a bead of sweat had formed on her forehead and she wiped it away with a sigh. That nightmare was over now. She stood for a moment in the silence and soaked it in.

"Faith," her footsteps sounded into the little girl's room. "Everything is okay. Gavin's asleep on the couch now. I'm going to stay here with you guys for the night though so I can drive you to school in the morning."

"What was wrong with him?" Faith asked. Her cheeks and eyes were red.

"He ate something bad, felt dizzy, and bumped his head. It wasn't bad at all. I put a band-aid on it and everything." She explained to Faith as she pointed to her own forehead.

The little girl still had a frightened look on her face. "I was so scared," she told her. "I didn't know how bad it was, so I called you because I didn't want him to get mad at me."

"It's okay now. Get some sleep, alright?" Faith's worry melted away and she moved down into her covers. Bailey blew her a kiss and shut the light out behind her. With Faith's door closed behind her, Bailey looked at the couch where Gavin slept. He breathed heavily and she pressed her lips together in absolute disgust.

When morning came, Faith was up bright and early to the smell of eggs, toast, and bacon luring her out of bed. Bailey was just setting down her plate as she walked into the dining room. While Bailey was still in her black sweatpants and t-shirt, Faith wore baggy jeans and a maroon-colored sweatshirt. "Good morning!" She smiled with all her heart and love towards the girl. The emotion was felt and Faith took her seat at once, quite enthused. "Did you sleep okay?" she asked.

"Yes," Faith nodded. "I'm so hungry! I didn't have any dinner last night. My tummy is growling!" Faith began to laugh, but Bailey's smile had faded.

"I'm sorry…" Faith felt as if she had done something wrong to upset her.

"Sorry for what dear?" Bailey broke into a forced laugh. "I just remembered I forgot to get you something to drink. What would you like?"

"I don't care." Faith shrugged and began to shovel eggs into her mouth as the light mood had returned.

Bailey went into the kitchen and poured the girl a glass of orange juice. She then set it down before her at the table. "Aren't you going to eat?" Faith asked her as Bailey took her seat and poked at the food on her plate.

"I thought I was, but I'm not really hungry." Bailey replied. "Do you want it?"

"Sure," Faith smiled. Bailey scooted the plate her way with guilt. With all the chaos last night she had forgotten to ask Faith if she had eaten dinner. She then went to check on Gavin, he was still asleep.

Once Faith had eaten and prepared for school, Bailey drove her there and returned back to the blue house to pick up the breakfast mess. She placed the dishes in the dishwasher along with the cups and then sat around the house in silence. She still had on her clothes from yesterday and hadn't brushed her teeth either, due to the fact that she had left all her things back home.

When the buzzer for the dishwasher went off, Bailey began to put everything away. At this time, Gavin appeared in the kitchen and got a jug of water out of the fridge. He stared at her and she stared back at him. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked his question in a thoroughly confused manner. She ignored him and went back to putting the dishes away. She wasn't scared of him. Instead, she took pity on him. He placed the jug back in the fridge and walked closer to her, until he stood about two feet away. "I don't want you here anymore."

"I'm not giving up on that little girl!" Bailey shouted angrily at him. He immediately looked taken back. "She called me last night crying. You were so drunk you fell and hit your head. Do you have any idea how scared she was?" Bailey was shaking she was so angry.

He placed his hand against his forehead, feeling the band-aid. "We are in the same fucking room you know…" he closed his eyes.

She began shaking her head at him. "Gavin, do you want to lose that little girl?"

His hand fell to his side at once. "Is that a threat?" he shouted with the tilt of his head. His angry dark eyes glared at her.

"No." Bailey folded her arms across her chest. "At the rate you're going, it's a promise!"

He retreated back into the living room and sat on the couch. His elbows rested against his knees with his head in his hands.

"I'm going to lunch, I'll be back later," she informed him as she headed towards the front door.

"Don't come back," he said.

"Is that the thanks I get?" She moved her hand back down to her side. It had been outstretched towards the door, "Really?"

"You aren't making things easier," he informed her.

"Why, because I'm making you realize just how difficult you are making it for your little girl?" She took her place in front of him at the couch. She stood with her arms crossed.

"Your bitcing isn't helping anything!"

"I wouldn't have to if you could just straighten up!" Gavin's head snapped in her direction as a wave of memories washed over him with that one sentence. Nothing had stung quite as much as that. "How was Faith going to get to school this morning if I wasn't here?"

"The bus," he said calmly. "Just like any other kid." "And what about breakfast Gavin?"

"They offer that at school," he argued.

"And what about dinner last night? What did she eat? Do you know?" He was silent as he looked up at her. "Nothing," Bailey told him matter-of-factly.

"There was plenty of stuff in the fridge," Gavin said. "She is old enough to eat when she is hungry."

"Don't even!" She raised her voice again at him. "Eight-year-olds shouldn't be providing themselves with dinner in the third grade! You know better! Even worse, she is assuming the role of your guardian! That is asking too much responsibility of that little girl, to call for help when you are down on your knees, throwing up, unable to…"

"Shut up!" he yelled at her and moved to his feet.

Bailey stood unflinching; her jaw clinched. "Fine, I'm done arguing anyway. You are the only parent she has left! Your love for her should be enough and her love for you…" And with that, Bailey stormed out of the door.

It was past noon when Bailey returned. She had her duffle bag and Faith with her since she had just picked her up from school. They could clearly see Gavin sitting at the dining room table. Papers were spread across it and he had his jug of water beside him, along with a phonebook.

Bailey tilted her head and then took Faith's backpack off, lifting some weight from the little girl's shoulders, and placing it in her hands. "Go get out your homework," she said, pointing in the direction of her room. "I'll be there in just a second." Faith went on her way.

"Can I help you with anything?" Bailey then asked bravely, setting her own bag down.

"You've done enough," he shook his head and looked up at her. Obviously, his mood had simmered down and he began to dial a phone number.

"I'll give you some privacy," Bailey excused herself and went to help Faith.

Gavin remained at the table with the phone to his ear. After about three rings, a gruff voice answered his call. "Hey..." Gavin faltered a bit with his words. "Yeah, it's me. I know, it's been a while." The voice on the other end talked for a long while. Once he had the chance to speak again, he said, "I was wondering if you needed an extra driver by any chance, since I'll be moving back to Champaign in a couple of weeks. I'd really like to come back if you'd let me. I think it would be good for Faith." It was silent for a moment as the voice on the other end spoke. "Yes sir." Gavin replied. "Thanks."

He swallowed hard and then started putting the papers away, using the phone book as a folder. Such a simple call, yet after all these years it had been so hard to make. He then moved over the carpeted floors into Faith's room. Faith and Bailey were sitting on the bed doing homework together and he took his place on the floor with his back against her dresser.

"Faith, we need to talk," he told her. The little girl shook her head up and down. Her black hair moved onto her face and fell over one eye. Bailey went to remove herself from the room, but Gavin waved her to stay where she was. "You should hear this too."

He drew in a deep breath and scratched the back of his head. "I think it's time we move back home to Champaign, Illinois. Your grandpa has agreed to give me my old job back there. It would be a chance for you to get to know your family better, too."

Faith looked at him and then back at Bailey. "Can she come?"

Gavin smirked in doubt. "Her family and friends live here Faith."

Faith and Bailey both looked distraught.

"Look, I'll make a deal with both of you. Bailey, you can see her on the weekends if you'd like. And Faith, we are going to live there at least for a year. If you don't like it, we can move back to Veedersburg. I just want you to get to know your relatives better," he explained. Faith looked at Bailey.

"You've said that before! No daddy, I don't want to move anymore!" Faith nearly broke into tears, but Bailey drew her into her arms and pressed her head firmly against her chest. While she did this, Bailey was staring at Gavin with a blank expression, almost as if the news hadn't sunk in yet.

He then got up from his place against her dresser. "We'll look for a house sometime, either tomorrow or Sunday." His words were directed towards Faith who did not reply. He then left the room to prepare for the day.

Bailey released Faith and followed him to the bathroom like a shadow. She sat on the edge of the tub while he brushed his teeth. "Gavin," she peered down at the towel covered floor from last night.

He spat in the sink and wiped his mouth on a rag. He then raised one brow and waited for her to go on. "What?" He asked, but he realized she had become too choked up to speak when he turned his eyes away from the mirror.

Her face had grown nearly as red as her dress and her eyes poured with silent tears. Her hand cupped her quivering lips as she hunched over. She appeared as if she was going to be sick. At this, he felt as if he had taken the life out of her. She then went for the front door. He quickly followed after her, simply to have it shut in his face. Hopefully she could calm down before work. He then moved his eyes away from her vehicle to her duffle bag which she had left behind. This made him feel slightly better, that he could at least attempt some closure when she returned.

Suddenly a soft cry pulled him away from the door. He walked back into Faith's room. He could hear her weep in her closet beneath the stairs. "Faith," he pulled the door open and knelt down on his knees to look into the dark space. Faith was hunched over with her knees pulled to her chest, facing him.

She was too far away for him to grab her and the space was too small for him to fit in. "Daddy no," she cried.

He simply remained on his knees as if he was frozen. "Please, don't make this hard on me. I'm trying to do the right thing. Don't you want to get to know your relatives? You have cousins your age too, you can play with them and…"

"I want Bailey!" She wept.

"Bailey went to work. She'll be back. Stop crying," he told her gravely, yet refrained from cussing at her.

"You're tricking me!" she shouted.

"No, I'm not. She left her bag by the front door. She is coming back for it later," Gavin reasoned with her.

"I want it!" Faith ordered to see if he was being truthful or not. "Go get it!" Faith refused to budge. If she came within arm's reach of him, he would probably grab her up in his arms and take her away right now, maybe even smack her across the mouth for acting out. "I want it now!" Faith shouted at him again.

He got up and walked to the front door to grab Bailey's duffle bag. He then set it at the end of the opening in the closet. Faith inspected it with her eyes from her distance. She could smell the perfume and see the pink glittery words, Bailey, sewed onto the front of the black material. The little girl calmed down slightly with peace of mind that she at least would return. "No, daddy," she repeated herself.

"I don't want to either, but we have no other choice."

"Why?" she bemoaned.

He took a deep breath. A momentary pause felt like an eternity of debate in his mind. "I need help."

Those three words entailed a great deal of meaning as they slowly left his lips, but her child mind could only fathom so much.

"Help with what?" she could not understand and it brought him great misery that he could not bring himself to explain to her the true depth of the situation. She was so young and he wished he could shelter her from the pain and grief that he caused.

"I need help providing for you,"

"But why? I try not to ask for too much, and I've been good!" she broke into a loud heart wrenching sob. For a long while Gavin was quiet.

"You are a good girl," he told her. "I'm just not the best daddy in the world…" Few tears formed in his eyes and he swiped them away with the back of his hand before she had the chance to see them. He feared that if she ever saw such a thing, she would doubt just how strong her daddy was, but then again, he had admitted to her his failure as a father which was something that no parent should have ever have to openly admit to their child. He then stood and shut the door to let his little girl cry alone.

When Bailey returned, she appeared exhausted. It was late at night and she took off her heels as soon as she stepped through the door. Her red dress came to her thigh and she looked around the room for her duffle bag that she had left next to the front door. "Gavin? Faith?" she shouted to the empty room. Quickly, she walked into the little girl's room, however she was still nowhere in sight. "Faith?" she shouted again.

"Bailey!" Faith's voice came from the closet. The door then swung open and she threw her arms around Bailey's waist in tears.

"What were you doing in there?" Bailey asked.

"I was hiding so daddy wouldn't take me away," she said.

She held the little girl, but this time Bailey did not cry. She had accepted that Gavin was returning to where he came from, hopefully to face his past. "Where is my duffle bag?"

"Don't leave," Faith said.

"I won't," she patted Faith's back. "You can hold onto it all night if you want, but I need to change clothes at least."

"No," Faith shook her head from side to side. Bailey huffed with slight frustration and fatigue, but held onto Faith with all of her heart. "It's late, you should be asleep you know…"

Bailey then proceeded to help the little girl get ready for bed. While Faith was in the shower, Bailey prepared her pajamas. She then went to the kitchen to pack her a sack lunch for tomorrow. She saw a pot of leftover macaroni on the stove. Out of curiosity, when she returned to the bathroom, she asked Faith if she had eaten dinner. Faith nodded. She wore one of Gavin's oversized t-shirts as a nightgown and her wet hair soaked the back of it.

"Did Gavin make it for you?" Bailey asked.

"Yup, he brought it to me in my closet because I wouldn't come out."

She smiled for a brief moment. The two of them then left the bathroom and headed back to Faith's room. She tucked the little girl into bed and kissed her forehead goodnight. "Are you leaving?" Faith asked in panic.

"No, you have my bag," she replied. "I'll be back in a few minutes." Bailey then tiptoed up the stairs into Gavin's chilled room. His overhead fan swung slowly and quietly. The light from the top of the stairs slightly illuminated his room and she saw that he was asleep. He had his arms behind his head, revealing his dark underarm hair. The covers were tangled around his lower body and legs just below his navel, the way he always slept. She moved to his dresser and took from the top a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. She knew he wouldn't mind. Upon unfolding the boxers, a pill bottle fell to the floor, but he did not budge from the noise. In momentary disregard, she went about changing in the corner of his room, where it was darkest, leaving her dress on the floor. The whole time his eyes had stayed shut. She then went to the bottle to pick it up, inspecting it as best she could in the faintly lit room as she went to put it back.

In the drawer she found even more pill bottles. She read each of them with strained, wide eyes. She placed her hand against her mouth and just as she saw his shadow overtake hers, she turned, nearly screaming when she bumped into his chest. His figure was a silhouette in the light of the open door; thus, she couldn't read his continence, but he could clearly see hers. She was startled and concerned with tears in her eyes. He reached his arm around her and slammed the drawer shut behind her. He could feel her trembling as he did so. "Look away," he told her coldly.

"Gavin…" she hesitated.

"Get out!" he shouted. She could feel the hotness of the widower's breath on her face, but he did not scare her, because in this black crevasse, this dark corner, it was Gavin that hid, not her. Instead, she drew her arms around his torso and placed her head against his bared chest. He was pacified. She could hear his heart and return his warmth, and feel his uneven jerky breaths. He didn't return her embrace, in fact his body seemed to convulse with it.

"I'm sorry…" she told him.

The following morning Gavin walked into Faith's room. The sun was shining in from the window behind the headboard. He wore his tan Timberland boots, a pair of ripped jeans, and blue long-sleeved shirt. The two young women, snuggled on the twin bed, had adopted his style. Except, not only did Bailey have on one of his white t-shirts and a pair of his boxers, but her hair was messy. The purple covers were a mess between them and seeing the warmth they shared almost crippled him.

As he turned to leave the room, he could hear Bailey stir. She carefully removed herself from the bed as not to wake Faith. They moved into the kitchen together. She had her arms wrapped around her shivering body. She hated mornings. While they were in the kitchen, he began to fill his thermos with the fresh coffee he had made for himself. Once he had finished, he set it back down and then leaned against the counter waiting for her to speak. "Did you want breakfast before you go?" Bailey asked.

"No," he said. "I'm going to stop and get something along my way," he told her.

This morning she believed he would indeed eat since he had made himself coffee. She felt his eyes upon her as if he knew she had woken before he left for a reason. "Gavin, is there any way you could help me move back in with my parents before you move? In exchange I can help you pack and…"

He interrupted her in his usual manner. "I don't see why not. What day are you thinking?"

"The sooner the better, but any time that's convenient for you. I can't stand the accu-, " she stopped, but as soon as even half the word left her lips, she regretted it. Like a bolt of lightning an impulsive expression flashed across his face and she caught it the moment before apathy settled. He nodded his head in accordance sensing turbulence, but he did not inquire any further. He didn't want to be reminded of that aspect of his identity, because he was already aware of his racy reputation, which up until this point hadn't included her.

"Tomorrow then," he suggested promptly, shaking his head from side to side. She felt as if she had offended him terribly, almost as if their moving would rid her of a burden. "Faith and I are going house hunting in Illinois tomorrow. I invite you to come with if it isn't too much trouble for you."

"No, not at all," Bailey recovered herself. Besides, he would need all the help he could get with Faith and her unwillingness to move.