Chapter 15 - Reflections

It was early morning, the sun barely peeking over the mountains in the east, when Holly fell into bed. She felt cold and lonely and empty. Not even Hedwig, sitting on her chest trying to comfort her, helped Holly feel better.

She'd sat in front of that mirror for hours with tear streaked eyes, seeing scene after scene of herself with her parents. Getting comforted when she was sad, smiled at when she laughed, tucked into bed when she was knackered, just generally being loved and happy.

All the fear she'd felt from her encounter with the cursed book and the thing within had been replaced with sadness. If you asked Holly, then the mirror was way worse than the book. She'd never felt this broken.

Holly spent all day lying in bed, absent mindedly scratching and petting Hedwig, sometimes sleeping for a bit. Waking up from one such nap, she found a steaming bowl of soup, buttered toast and a whole plate of bacon.

She ate mostly in silence. The only sounds that could be heard were Hedwig's barks demanding bacon and then gobbling some up whenever Holly fed her. The empty plates simply disappeared when she put them down. Hoping they could hear her, Holly thanked the house elves that had brought her food. After encountering the mirror, the thought of being taken care of by someone both comforted and hurt at the same time.

Holly was thankful that Hedwig's love for her didn't result in any negative feelings. They'd been there for each other ever since they met and she'd hate it if anything came between them because of a stupid mirror. Hedwig was like the bratty little sister that Holly had always wanted.

The mirror had shown her such things as well. Things that could have happened. Her and her parents cooing over a newborn, Holly helping out with changing diapers and feeding. Even getting woken at night from screaming. She wanted to experience it all, the good and the bad.

Holly could easily guess how the mirror was cursed from what she'd seen. But just knowing wasn't enough to not fall prey to it. The mirror showed whatever you desired most in your heart, so if you desired something unattainable then the temptation to lose yourself in the reflections would always be there. As was the case for Holly.

It took Holly quite a while to find the mirror again the following night. She'd been lost in her thoughts on her way back the last time and couldn't exactly remember where it had been. Closing and locking the door, Holly sat in front of the mirror again.

The scenes were different this time around. Holly looked older in these ones. There were more people now, people she didn't recognise. But the feeling of family was always present. She burst out laughing when in one, Hedwig had a barking match against a big black dog with shaggy fur. He'd been annoying her to play but she just wanted to nap. It was a real hoot.

But any happy scene was accompanied by the deep seated sadness and grief, that she'd never get to experience any of it. Smiling sadly at the scene of her parents picking her up from the Hogwarts Express, Holly shed the first tear that night. The first tear with many more to follow.

For a third night in a row Holly walked through the dark corridors of Hogwarts. There was much on her mind. But still, her steps were much more confident this time around. Locking the door again after entering, Holly took a look around the room. As always it was empty except for the mirror. The moon's soft light shining on her face revealed a never seen before fire in her eyes.

Taking big steps, she stood in front of the mirror defiantly. Holly grit her teeth when she saw a heartwarming scene play in the mirror. It was painful, but she knew that just dreaming of what could have been would get her nowhere. Holly had had this exact dilemma when she first found out about her parents.

Seeing the actual possibilities of a life with her family was so much more heartbreaking than just thinking about them. But Holly was stronger now. And she had something to live for, things she wanted to achieve, great friends, the puppies. Even her own little family with Hedwig that was open for expansion. She was loved and happy, the future was bright. She wouldn't let this stupid mirror dictate her life any longer. Almost three days of self pity were more than enough already.

Holly looked down to her hands, where she was gripping onto her skeleton key tightly. Her knuckles had turned white from the pressure already. She pulled her arm back, ready to stab the mirror with the hard stone key. Taking one last look at herself riding on her father's shoulders, Holly swung as hard as she could… only to freeze millimetres before the key touched the mirror.

"Excuse my rudeness, using magic on students is not something I have to do often. And it is certainly far from my favourite, but I still have a need for the mirror." The voice speaking behind Holly was calm and soothing, like a calm river flowing through a meadow.

As soon as her body was free from the bind, Holly whirled around. By the window stood Headmaster Dumbledore, illuminated from behind by the serene moonlight streaming into the room.

"Excuse me Sir, I thought I was alone. I even locked the door." Holly was certain she hadn't seen anyone here, nor did the door open.

"Locked the door for what was not already inside. And I must say that is a marvellous invention. There was quite the commotion in the teacher's lounge when someone broke through the magical protections on the restricted section without so much as raising an alarm."

He smiled widely at her, eyes twinkling behind his half moon glasses. How did he do that? Also his expression didn't match what he was saying either. Why would her breaking into the restricted section make him happy?

"It was quite easy actually, I've found that wizard kind doesn't have a lot of common sense. So they leave a lot of obvious openings for someone who was raised muggle." Holly struggled hard not to look down at Dumbledore's garish yellow robes with pink unicorns when she said that.

"Truly?" He raised his eyebrows. "That doesn't change the admirable work that must have gone into creating your 'key', was it? You should keep it safe, it would be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands." He said, glancing down at her hand that was holding it.

Holly knew that it could be dangerous in the wrong hands of course. And she was working on something for it, but that would be for when she finished the key.

She was startled out of her thoughts though when Professor Dumbledore suddenly stood right beside her, taking a peek at the mirror himself.

"I used to invent things too, you know. Still do sometimes. But they were never quite as useful as what you managed at such an early age already." Holly felt very small next to him, especially when he glanced down at her through his half-moon glasses.

"Is that what you see in the mirror Professor? Your inventions being used more widely?" It was a highly personal question and she didn't expect an answer.

"Nothing of the sort, my dear. I just see myself getting a pair of woolly socks. I never seem to get any, everyone just assumes I need more books."

Well, Holly hadn't really expected anything. And she was still disappointed with that. So she switched tracks, back to their earlier topic.

"If I may ask, what exactly do you need this cursed mirror for?" It wasn't like it had any other special functions, or did it?

He seemed to hesitate before finally answering. "It will be moved to a different location tomorrow, where no unsuspecting student will come across it. I implore you not to look for it again either."

What a non answer, but probably as much as she would get out of him. "I am just concerned about this curse that can bring such great harm to people."

"My dear, as honourable as your concern is, not every curse has to be a bad thing." He turned to look at her with a sad look in his eyes. "The book you encountered in the library was cursed, but contains invaluable knowledge. Some may call your parent's fate a curse. Others would consider outliving their loved ones a curse. All you have to decide is how to deal with the ones you encounter."

Holly turned back to the mirror, thoughts going a hundred miles a minute. Her parents were definitely cursed in a sense. But would it have been better if they died with no chance of recovery instead of their current state?

"The mirror by itself is neither good nor bad. It just is, you have encountered it in a bad time of your life, but I can still see where it can do good." When Holly didn't answer, Dumbledore continued.

"My two best friends were cursed with long life, but eventually they found their own way to live with losing their loved ones. The same way you dealt with meeting your parents. By loving what was, instead of fearing what could be."

"Thank you Professor, I will keep it in mind." Not just the advice about fear and love, but also the clue he had unknowingly given her.

"Good. Now, why don't you put that hood back up and head to bed, it's rather late and adventures can be had at any time in Hogwarts." Professor Dumbledore's jovial smile was infectious and Holly couldn't help but smile back.

Why was he being so nice to her though? He'd caught her out of bed and he apparently knew that she'd broken into the restricted section.

"Good night Professor."

She felt her hairs standing on end when she turned her back to him and unlocked the door. When Holly was finally out of the room, she put on her cloak and hurried back to the common room. This had been a weird encounter. And she really didn't want a repeat of it.

At least now she knew what to give Professor Dumbledore for Christmas next year.

For the first time in days, Holly left her bedroom for more than just to use the loo or to visit the mirror. She was going to visit Fluffy and then play with Fang. She'd neglected them for too long.

Hedwig was already on a new mission and she'd seemed confident that this time she'd be able to find who Holly was writing to. Fourth time's the charm or something.

Fluffy was very excited when she presented each head with their own holiday snack and new and improved mouse toy, just in the size of a cat. She'd wanted to make each a collar or some other cute accessory but the heads kept biting or chewing them off. They actually broke through her durability runes. At least watching all three heads try and hunt a different toy was hilarious.

Each head wanted to get theirs first, so their legs didn't know in what direction to run. Not to mention that they kept bumping into each other. It almost seemed like the toys started working together to deliberately make them bump each other. Weird, definitely not something her runes should allow. It was probably a coincidence.

Without Hedwig there, Holly's walk with Fang was much more tranquil for her. Not so much for him. Since his toy was made for 2 animals chasing it, Fang had a much harder time actually catching it, especially in the snow. It gave Holly much more time to think about how to rework her boots. She really wanted to finish them before the holidays were over, but finding a way to integrate the Sumeranian runes into a new design that worked differently would take time.

Holly was sitting on the slope leading down to the lake, watching nature and thinking while occasionally recharging the toy for Fang. With the sky a clear blue, the sun was making the frozen lake and snowy hills shine like diamonds. It was a nice change from the heavy snowfall the previous days. She threw Fang's toy again.

Now that she thought about it, wasn't there consistent moonlight that illuminated the mirror room? Holly had actually missed the weather changing for three whole days without realising it. That was terrifying. If this had been her first experience with her parents then she would probably have never left again.

Wanting to free her head of the turbulent thoughts, Holly went down to the lake. She wanted to check if it was thick enough to skate on. Of course, as occupied as her head was, Holly almost tripped on her way down. What saved her was the stiff cold wind blowing into her so strongly that she was held upright… That could be useful. Instead of going on the lake, Holly pulled out her notebook and started planning.

If she used the air that was already there to stabilise her body like armour, then she should be able to stay upright. It would even protect her from the rain or snow if it worked out as she thought.

Now, how would she propel herself forward if she used Sumeranian runes. They interacted more with the world around than Futhark, which would make the wind barrier possible. But omph…

Holly let out a groan. Fang had run her over in his excitement, breaking her out of her working mindset. She was even attacked with slobber when he noticed her laying in the snow face up. So of course he had to use the opportunity for some kisses. Big wet kisses for which it was far too cold.

She shrieked loudly when some snow got into the back of her robes and started melting on her skin. She was so shocked that she instantly started pushing at him. Sadly, he heating runes were no help with snow in her clothes. After fighting her way out from under Fang, Holly quickly stood up to shake the snow out. It was way too cold.

When Holly finally calmed down enough, she had to support herself on her knees, she was so out of breath. Maybe it was a good thing this had happened or else she might have icicles hanging off her face later, just standing outside, working on runes.

It would do her some good to take her time to work on the boots. They wouldn't run away from her… at least not yet. With all the time in the world, she took a look at a panting Fang. He was clearly exhausted as well, they should cut their walk short and head back.

Holly took a deep breath, focusing on her goals. She of course wanted to finish her boots, but she wasn't pressed for time. There was practising her wand magic, which she usually did on her walks with Fang when she didn't want to work on runes. Of course she also did that at other times. For the most part Holly also didn't have to actively sew anymore, only really for her new rune sets or more personalised gifts.

But she could do those things at any time. Now, during winter holidays, when everything was empty, was the best cvc since to go explore.

Mind made up, Holly headed back towards Hagrid's hut to drop off Fang. She'd wasted 3 days of her holidays already. Time to make some progress.

Holly hurried down the stairs as fast as she could. The first carriages were arriving already and she wanted to be there when all her friends got back. She'd missed them terribly. It just wasn't as much fun to spend all that time alone after getting so used to interacting with someone daily. The dogs couldn't replace a good conversation after all.

Thankfully none of them were in the entrance hall yet so she wasn't late. Holly went out of the main gates and waited for them there. Only to get startled out of her mind and let out a shriek when she was suddenly enveloped in a tight hug from behind.

"Hah, told you this would be way more fun than just greeting her normally!" Holly shuffled around in the hug until she was facing her attacker.

"Lavender! That was so mean! I missed you so much!" And of course she returned the hug.

"No need to cry Holly, we were just gone for two weeks. How will you deal with six weeks of summer holidays like this?" Said a brightly grinning Parvati.

Wiping at her eyes, Holly stuck out her tongue. "Bleh! Those are tears of joy at most, and not even that many. I missed you as well!"

Parvati joined the hug as well when Holly motioned for her to do so. They just stayed like this until the girls of the other houses arrived, who joined in as well. It ended up becoming a game of who could hug the longest. Holly being in the middle was stuck like this for way too long. They must have looked like bloody idiots. A bunch of first year girls standing around as one big bunch. And she loved every second of it.

Everything was still covered in snow, so they eventually broke up when some of them started to get cold. After deciding to eat dinner together later. The trio of Gryffindor girls made their way to the common room. They still had their luggage to get back upstairs.

"So, how was your holiday Holly, did anything interesting happen?"

Holly just hummed as reply. She didn't really know what to say. Hedwig was still gone and her boots were still a work in progress. Not like she'd talk about these things. Lavender and Parvati weren't really into runes. And the philosopher's stone was a secret. There was no need to talk about her walking into countless fake doors throughout the last week either. So that only left one topic.

"There was this weird teacher going around questioning students. Something about starting a mastery project, or wanting to be their supervisor for it."

Holly didn't really know what was up with that, she'd just heard it through the grapevine from Percy (who had introduced himself, so they were now on first name basis). Apparently that teacher was asking the present NEWT students about a mastery project. She didn't know what that was or how common it was, but since the rumours spread like wildfire it must be important.

"I said interesting, Holly. Not boring school stuff!"

Well, she had predicted that. So she wasn't mad or anything. Just… sometimes Holly wished Hermione still talked to her. It was so much fun to have an outlet for academic discussions. She'd find a way though, eventually.

"Fine, then how about you guys show me your new robes you got for Christmas?" What else would they have gotten for gifts but loads of new clothes?

"I was worried you wouldn't ever ask that. Come on, move your arses! I want to see Holly drool at the sight of us." Lavender said and ran off, quickly followed by a giggling Parvati.

Holly just stood there stunned for a second, before shouting and chasing after them with a smile on her face. They would pay for this