Tell Your Story
When Amity gets back to her dorm room, she shuts the door and quickly sits at her desk. Getting her laptop out and preparing herself to write some more.
I need to do this. I need to get out all of these intense emotions I'm experiencing somehow and this is the only way I know how. I just…Need the escape from reality for a while.
Amity tries to bring herself to write, but she can't. Tears fall as she lets her past trauma take over, but this time is different. This time, she's allowing herself to feel it instead of thinking her way through her emotions.
I…I can't do this. I'm letting myself get trapped in the past, aren't I? I want answers so badly, to understand why she treated me so cruelly, but is it really helping? No…I'm starting to push away the people I love. I've become the lone witch in the secret room all over again, but the worst part is, I put myself here.
"I'm sorry everyone…I'm so sorry." Amity said.
Suddenly, Amity feels hands on her shoulders. The world around her is blurry as she loses herself in her emotions, but slowly comes back to reality when she hears a familiar, calming voice.
"Amity, what happened? Are you okay?" Lilith asked.
Amity snaps out of it and is surprised but relieved to see Lilith, her mentor, here with her.
"I'm okay…" Amity replied.
Lilith looks at Amity, a bit disappointed but concerned.
"Are you sure? You were crying and you looked spaced out. That's not normal." Lilith said.
Amity wipes her tears away, realizing her loved ones are only trying to help.
"You're right. This isn't normal. Lilith, ever since I started writing about my past and reliving my trauma, I've started to fall back into unhealthy coping mechanisms. My cold and icy persona even started coming back…I even tried pushing Luz away! This…This isn't me and I don't know how to let go of what's keeping me frozen in the past." Amity replied.
Lilith thinks about this for a moment and tries to put herself in Amity's shoes. They are very similar after all, so she tries to empathize.
"Look, the way I see it, you can relive old memories and try to make sense of them, but that's not productive. The past happened, you can't change it. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn from your past, live in the moment, and be hopeful for the future. I mean, look at what you have now." Lilith said.
Amity smiles, a genuine smile as she thinks about the life she's come to build. Her life. One where she's free to be who she is and is loved unconditionally. Then, she thinks about Luz. The one who helped her come out of her shell and see the beauty in life.
Amity blushes and Lilith notices, giving her a wink.
"You know, Luz asked me to come talk to you. She was worried about you and thought I could help. I was worried when I noticed you weren't in history class today. So, how are you feeling now?" Lilith asked.
Amity feels safe and supported knowing Luz is always looking out for her. That's what true unconditional love is, and she understands that now.
A wave of contentment washes over Amity as she takes a deep breath, repeating her mantra in her mind.
You're okay. You're alright.
"I think…No. I know I'm going to be okay." Amity replied.
Suddenly, Luz comes into the room and runs over to hug Amity, tears of joy in her eyes and a hopeful smile on her face.
"Oh thank Titan, I was so worried about you! I'm so glad everything's okay now. I never should have asked you to journal your feelings like that. I'm so sorry!" Luz said.
Amity hugs Luz back, letting her know it's okay as she starts to tear up too. Then she takes a deep breath as she looks into Luz's eyes.
"You don't need to be sorry. Writing my story was actually good for me. Even though it could be emotionally exhausting and painful at times, I think I needed it. So, thank you. Love you, batata" Amity replied.
Luz smiles, her eyes bright with joy again.
"Love you too, sweet potato!" Luz said.
Lilith sits there, feeling a bit awkward so she decides to leave.
"Okay well, you two lovebirds have fun! I'm glad you're feeling better, Amity. And, if you ever need to talk, I'm here." Lilith said.
Amity nods, feeling secure knowing Lilith means it. She's the supportive Mother figure she's never had and exactly the person she needs in her life to keep moving forward.
Once Lilith is gone, Luz gets an idea.
"You know, when I'm feeling overwhelmed and anxious, I like to listen to some sad or angsty music! It's a great stress reliever and another way to cope. Why don't you pick a song?" Luz said.
Amity takes Luz's phone and scrolls through the songs, trying to find the best one to match her mood. She finds it. A little playlist she likes to call 'Lone Witch and the Secret Room'.
Amity presses play and starts dancing all her troubles away. Luz joins her and eventually they start rocking out together, letting the music take them away.
After a while, the music stops. Amity stops dancing as she sits back down at her desk, doing her deep breathing as she starts to feel more calm and free.
Luz pulls up a chair and sits by her side.
"So, what are you going to do now?" Luz asked.
Amity takes out her laptop, which makes Luz nervous at first, but this time is different. She can see it in Amity's eyes, the courage to tell her story honestly is there. She's no longer afraid of the past haunting her and it shows.
"I'm going to tell my story. All of the pain and joy, that's a part of life and I'm tired of running away from it or trying to control it. This time, I'm learning from it so I can look forward to a better future." Amity replied.
Luz takes Amity's hand, seeing that hopeful optimism in her girlfriend's eyes still makes her emotional but brave.
"And I'll be here with you every step of the way. I believe in you!" Luz said.
Amity smiles, giving Luz a kiss on the cheek. Then she starts writing. Finally realizing her past is not today and that she's free to let it go. Recognizing she has everything she needs right here.
"Thank you for always believing in me, Luz. Now, time to look forward. One day at a time." Amity replied.