"Awkward Situation"

Rated: M

Fandom: Ed, Edd n Eddy

Characters: Jonny 2x4, Kevin

Genre: Humor

Summary: Jonny asks Kevin for help during the middle of the night, only for Kevin to witness Jonny being caught in a very 'uncomfortable' position? How on earth will Kevin react, truth be told?

Disclaimer: Just to be clear about this, I do not and I repeat, I DO NOT own anything related Ed, Edd n Eddy including the characters. They are owned by Danny Antonucci and Cartoon Network altogether. If you're asking, no this won't be a lemon slash-fic unfortunately. This will be more like humor, but it'll still be good nonetheless. Just a little different, although I guarantee you that you'll get a laugh once you read all the way to the end. Anyway, on with the story.

P.S.: All characters in this story will be over 18 years old. Just want to clarify that. Okay, like I said, ON WITH THE STORY.

P.P.S.: If you're also asking, no, I don't take requests for stories unfortunately.

It was 2 a.m. in the middle of the night and so far, Kevin, the culdesac's resident bully to the Ed's and resident cool guy to everyone around him, was getting his usual sleep as always. Of course it wasn't any ordinary sleep though as Kevin found himself having one of his wet dreams though, obviously having a dream about Nazz wearing a bikini for the fun of it.

That unfortunately didn't last long though as Kevin found himself being awakened by the sound of a phone call, which forced him to grab his iPhone right by his nightstand and answer it right away.

He sent the phone to his ear, "Hello?"

"Hey buddy, what's up?" The caller said, revealing his voice to be none other than Jonny 2x4.

"It's frickin' 2 a.m. in the morning, man!" Kevin grumbled in his sleep before asking, "Why the hell are you callin' me in the middle of the night!?"

Jonny uncomfortably replied, "I uh, I kinda need your help with something…"

"Can't you ask Rolf to help you?" Kevin replied.

"I would, but Rolf uses his old phone, and he doesn't use wi-fi." Jonny replied.

Kevin shook his head saying to himself, "Yeah, I keep asking to get him a new phone, but he rather use the one that's old-fashioned rather than the one that doesn't involve him tapping glass for hours."

"Yeah, that guy is weird." Jonny nodded.

Kevin suggested to him clearly, "Have you tried asking Nazz instead?"

"I tried so thousands of times tonight, but the same response I keep getting from her so far is 'Quit calling me, weirdo, I'm trying to get my beauty rest!'" Jonny explained, "Such a fuss, isn't she?"

"Well, it's not her fault you keep annoying her like the weirdo you are." Kevin scowled, rolling his eyes again.

"Yeah, that's true." Jonny nodded to himself. He then pleaded to Kevin over the phone, "Can you come over and help me and Plank out anyway? We kinda have a problem…"

"Go ask Plank for help then." Kevin replied with a big groan.

Jonny chuckled a bit nervously, "He actually did. Plank wanted me to call you and help us out. Please…?"

"Oh, cripes!" Kevin groaned to himself once more, all before saying to Jonny. "Hang on to your fat head, I'm coming over."

The bazooka-chinned teenager wasted no time hanging up the phone and got out of bed with no minute left to spare. He then grabbed his leather jacket and without waking his parents up, Kevin successfully slipped through the back door and snuck outside with a flashlight in hand. He would have wanted to ride his bike as usual, but he didn't feel comfortable having to ride his bike in the middle of the night without the fact that Kevin was trying to get some sleep.

He then stood outside Jonny's home where using his perfect lockpicking skills, he secretly infiltrated the bald kid's home and let himself in, proceeding to go into a hallway where it was stopped by a big giant basket with a rope attached to it. It didn't take long for Kevin to realize that rope led up to the upstairs portion of the house, which would eventually lead to Jonny and Plank's entire bedroom.

"I'm amazed this weirdo doesn't have any stairs…" Kevin thought to himself, all before he got inside the basket and climbed up using the same exact rope.

He kept on climbing, climbing and climbing until he finally made it up to Jonny's entire room itself. Kevin's arms were eventually worn out from all the climbing and pulling at this point.

Knowing that he finally made it up to Jonny's room, Kevin got out of the basket and turned around saying, "All right, Jonny. I'm here like you asked for. What seems to be the–"

He immediately cut himself off, only to see the image of the one thing Kevin never expected of seeing:

The small trinkets of wood and blood that was poking through Jonny's entire bed sheets, focusing on a certain body part that Kevin couldn't even believe was there until now.

Kevin immediately uttered out in shock, "W-w-what the hell happened to you, dude?"

With such a painful expression written upon Jonny's face, the baldy explained his situation with the perfect response:

"Me and Plank were having sex and I ended up with splinters on my cock."

Kevin couldn't even believe what he was hearing coming from this weirdo himself. Not to mention that the image that Jonny flat-out explained to him creeped Kevin out from head-to-toe.

He was so disturbed that Kevin straight out shouted to Jonny, "YOU FUCKING WOKE ME UP JUST TO TELL ME THIS?!"

"Weird story, huh?" Jonny shrugged. He then asked Kevin politely, "Can you get me to a hospital and have them remove these splinters? I'd have Plank do it, but he's worn out from all the sex."

Kevin thought this over for a second only to reply to Jonny, "Screw you man, I'm going back to bed."

Jonny immediately watched in disappointment as he watched Kevin blow him right off and left the room, obviously going back to his house and get some sleep. So much for help on Jonny's case.

He then said to himself with such regret, "I really need to get a real man…"

Hahaha, poor Jonny's gonna have a painful case of morning wood in the morning. By that I meant "morning wood" concerning how the splinters ended up all over Jonny's you-know-what. I swear, I don't know why he loves Plank so much.

Anyway, I hope you all got a kick out of what I wrote for you. So, you know what to do, Eddheads.