Chapter 16 - Winds of Change
The machine reflected the sun and felt warm to the touch when Gavin's hands brushed across the top of the tire well one last time. The semi sat peacefully quiet. All the memories seemed to rush back at him in that single touch. It had been passed to him by his father. He could remember working on it with him, anticipating the day he could follow in his father's footsteps. All the truck shows came flooding back to him as well as he remembered all the hours he had spent washing, waxing, and personalizing his truck with lights that ran across his bumper and trailer. The trophies were on display in his garage with his tools.
He also remembered Faith drawing pictures in the bunk when she traveled with him; the day he helped Bailey move and the day Bailey helped him move in return. It seemed like just yesterday he had Bailey's hand in his, helping her down the metal steps. He felt that if not for his semi many things would have gone inexperienced in his life, even simple joys. Over the years it had helped him provide for him and Faith. It had even served as their temporary home in times of extreme difficulties. It brought him great pride, but could also be traced to the source of his issues.
Confined to the cabin, the restless nights, the time spent alone, the open road, it all added up. Being on his own had filled him with great loneliness and a sense of control that he knew he had lost. By knowing the truck inside and out, he had discovered innovative ways to hide his addictions. He had kept a roll of tape and a screw driver under his seat so that he could pop open the dash, the floorboard, or other various panels. It was as if pulling back flesh and hiding things within only to cut and slice them out again. The wires, her devices, her various frames all exposed like a skeleton as he pulled forth the substances within that sustained the very monster he had become.
He thought of all the times he had taken her apart just to put her back together. When he came back to his senses, he collected all the pieces and restored them to their original places, closing the once open wounds as if hoping to seal the monster within in the process. He had always taken such pride in his semi, but now, he felt betrayed. It wasn't her fault though, after all, all tools and machinery are just extensions of humanity. The fault clearly existed within him and with every one of his actions reflected by the machine, it served to haunt him.
Gavin stared at her black paint for a long while with a growing pain in his stomach. The longer he stared, the greater his feeling of nausea increased at the intensifying prospect of what he had to leave behind. The only other time he had felt such a way was when he had to abandon Ray.
Never before had he loved another so much that caused him such pain. He distinctly recalled the multitude of flowers thrown on her casket as they lowered her to the ground. Although she had passed on, the fact that it was the last time he saw her face made him feel as if he had abandoned her, his once fighting flame.
Finally, he closed his eyes and turned away when it became hard to swallow and a salty taste filled his mouth, the salty taste just before one vomits. The more he tried to convince himself it was just a semi, the more vulnerable he felt. The road, this lifestyle, it all had served as his escape; the gentle slopes of the road, the way the sun rose in the morning and faded into the night. Leah put a gentle hand on his arm. "Are you okay?" she asked.
He moved away from her to a grassy area beyond the curb of the lot. In the shadow of the semi, the side which faced away from the lot's main building, he proceeded to vomit. When he had finished, Leah followed Gavin to Mike's suburban and got in the driver's side. He kept his head in his hand as they drove away, thinking of how hard it had been to just leave her behind.
Minutes passed as they continued down the road in silence. "Don't you give up on me!" he snapped at her suddenly.
"Never," she replied. He drew in a deep breath and pulled his hand away from his face. His face was splotchy and red while he looked back at the lot. "We're going to get through this together," she assured him.
Back home Bailey came through the front door. It was one in the morning and she had been up since eight, such was her schedule Monday through Friday. Working three back-to-back jobs at the moment was exhausting, but looking at the bigger picture kept her going. She threw her clothes in the washer, bathed, and went straight to her mother's computer to continue her college applications. Despite the tension in her shoulders that not even the hottest of showers could relieve, she remained awake and driven. Her eyes were heavy with sleep but she held a passion in her heart to get back to school.
In the month that followed, Gavin and Leah hired two new drivers and purchased a used International. Before Gavin put them on their first routes, he gave the semis a thorough inspection with his mother. While they went about their business, Leah told him of the old days when she used to go trucking with Mike.
"This is where Grant came about," she told him, pointing through the windshield to the cabin.
"Ma, that's gross," Gavin told her. "I don't want to hear that."
She laughed lightly to herself, enjoying the fact that she could make Gavin blush. "Hey, have you ever heard of Grantsburg Wisconsin?"
"Ma, stop!" he told her, but she only laughed harder. "Good God, what did you guys do anyway? Travel to cities that began with the letter G?"
"No," she told him. "Graham was named after your great grandpa and by the time I had you I decided to just keep the tradition going."
Gavin stood back from his father's semi and pulled the hood back into place, latching it down on the sides. "She's good," he told her. "Plenty of fluids and such… Did you see the new decals I put on her?"
Leah walked around to the driver's side and saw the Paradiso Transportation decal beneath the window. Mike's decal was once faded and peeling off the side. "Looks good," she told him.
He then proceeded to wipe his hands on a shop rag. "How do you think the new drivers will do?" she asked.
"Fine. Zach's pretty young, I may need to teach him a few more things. As for Daniel, he's been trucking for so long, I don't think he'll need much direction at all."
She smiled and put her hands on her hips. With their inspections finished, Gavin pulled the semi out of the shop and into the parking space, ready to go for the next day. It sat between the new used semi they had purchased and Graham's semi.
"Have you heard from Grant?" Gavin asked her as they looked at the three gals.
"Not yet, but Valerie's been kind enough to keep me posted," she told him. "He'll come around one of these days, just give it a little more time. After all, the wires were just removed from his teeth a few days ago."
"I swear I didn't mean to hit him that hard," Gavin told her.
"On another note, how much longer do you think you and Bailey will go without talking?" his mother asked. Gavin had been dropping Faith off at his mother's so that Bailey could still see her on the weekends. He looked down at the gravel.
"I don't know, ma. I haven't seen or talked to her in almost four weeks now, other than the occasional 'yes' or 'no' text responses. I think I really did it this time," he admitted.
"Aren't you concerned about Faith being caught in the middle?" Leah asked.
"Of course not," he told her. "I think it's mutual that Bailey and I protect her from certain things as best we can."
Leah frowned and patted him on the shoulder. "Why don't you take the day off tomorrow and set things straight with her?" she suggested with a wink. "I'll keep Faith, just do what you gotta do,"
With their legs dangling from the porch swing, Bailey, Charlotte, and Macy sat. They wore sweat pants and sweatshirts as it was transitioning into late fall. "Thanks for inviting us," Bailey told Macy.
"It's not a problem! I thought I'd be a great way to break the ice again, since I was such a jerk to you the last time we left off. Can you guys forgive me?"
Bailey and Charlotte both extended their arms out to their old friend and gave her a hug. "So, where is Scott anyway?" Charlotte asked.
"We broke up, because he started cheating on me. I lost the apartment too, because I couldn't afford it on my own."
"I'm sorry," Bailey frowned. Laughter rang from inside the house. Macy's family was in the middle of a game of pin the tail on the donkey. It was her cousin's fifth birthday and they had decided to throw a small house party.
"What have you been up to since you've been away?" Macy asked.
"Well, I have three jobs here at home throughout the week.
And I found out that I'm going to start college this Spring."
The two girls looked amazed. "You have been busy huh? Do you still babysit for that one guy?" Macy asked.
"No," Bailey told her honestly. Babysitting meant that she was getting paid.
"What was going on with you two anyway?" Charlotte asked.
"Yeah, come on, tell us. It was super obvious you had feelings for him."
"He ended up moving away," she shrugged. "It was nothing, really," Bailey told them.
Not wanting to dig too deep, Macy spoke up on another note. "Hey, I say we go out tonight like we did back in the day. We get dressed up super-hot and just go have fun!"
Charlotte looked at Bailey. "Come on, I know you don't like drinking as much as you used to, but it's been ages. Just one night of fun!"
She began to smile lightly, "Where were you thinking of going?"
"Let's go to that place with all the black lights and cool designs on the wall. They play the best music!" Macy said enthusiastically.
Bailey hesitated for a moment before she said yes.
When Bailey returned to her parent's house, she went to the guest bedroom where her room was still littered with congratulatory balloons. She had set her phone on silent on the desk. She then proceeded to pick out an outfit and go get ready in the bathroom. While in the middle of putting her makeup on, her mother strolled in and did a double take.
"Are you going out for another night of celebration?" she asked her daughter.
Bailey wore tall black heels, a mini skirt, and a silk top. Her hair was down and curled to perfection. "I guess you could say that!"
"Well good for you! Get it all out of your system now so you'll focus on your studies!" her mother smiled and joked.
"Thanks mom," Bailey smirked back at her. Her mother teased, but truly recognized just how much daughter had developed into a more responsible young woman over the past few years. She regretting how much pressure she had put on her daughter during high school, not only to graduate early, but to handle the divorce.
"I love you so much Bailey, and I'm so proud of you."
Bailey drew in a deep breath and turned back to the mirror to view her reflection. Her lips were red, her cheeks rouged, and her eyes dark with mascara and eyeliner. Her brown locks cascaded down her shoulders. It filled her with a sense of self appreciation as if she were rewarding herself for good behavior.
Later that night, Bailey went out with her friends. She tucked her phone in her bra and danced to pop music on the dance floor without a care in the world. She owed it to herself to enjoy life and let the reigns flow loosely. The bass of the music filled their chests and the lights flashed before their eyes. They danced so hard their faces glowed with sweat in the dense crowd. Charlotte held onto Bailey's hand as she dragged her to the bar. Bailey held onto Macy's as well. "I'm so thirsty!" Charlotte exclaimed.
Once they made it to the bar tender, they ordered their drinks. Charlotte was the one to put their tip money in the jar. The bar tender smiled at her as he began to make their drinks.
"You're pretty cute," he told her. He then handed the girls their drinks. "This one is special," he winked at Charlotte.
The girls retreated to a small table just off the side of the bar, their faces red with laughter. "Go get his number!" Macy demanded Charlotte.
"No way! He probably hits on girls all the time! That's how he gets tips."
Macy then grabbed a quarter out of her jean shorts pocket. "Heads, you get his number, tails, I buy you a drink, and refusal to play means you have to buy me a drink. Those are the rules!"
The girls had only played this game once before…
The man leaned against the bar with his weight shifted to one foot and his elbow against the surface. His hair was short, messy, and blonde. It contrasted his dark apparel. He wore a black shirt, faded jeans, and black leather shoes. Bailey could feel the girls' eyes on her as she approached him. When she came to stand by his side, he glanced over at her.
Her cheeks were rose pink and her smile radiated. "Hi," she said softly.
"What's up?" he replied. Her hands were empty; her plain short pink dress hadn't any pockets. About that time, the bartender had returned with his double shot of Everclear. "I'd like to add a shot of Bacardi too," he handed over his card once more then took a pen from the cup holder beside the register to sign his signature.
Bailey fumbled for her words. "My friends are watching me. We're playing a game... It's silly really…" she drew her hand to her forehead nervously. The bartender set the shot of Bacardi next to his other drink.
He hoisted the shots off the counter and placed one in her hand. "Um, thank you," she took the shot from him awkwardly, holding it in her grasp. "You didn't have to…" she trailed off as he placed his hand under hers and began to coax her into lifting it to her lips to drink.
While he downed his in one quick action, slamming it back down on the counter, she drank hers slowly and held it awkwardly. His smile widened. "So, what's this game you and your friends are playing?" He nodded in their direction, but did not look their way.
"Well, they dared me to ask for your number. If I don't, I have to buy them a drink," she pointed out. "You can just make something up, if you want…" she shrugged.
He began to laugh. "Well, I can't have you risk getting caught now, can I?"
"Excuse me?" she drew her brows together and placed her hands on her hips. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Miss, you can't bullshit a bullshitter."
She stared at him in disbelief with a slight smirk. "Are you and undercover cop?"
"Would an undercover cop supply alcohol to someone who's under-aged?"
"I'm not under-aged!" she argued.
"Yeah, okay," he replied sarcastically, turning and heading out to the beer garden.
She set her shot glass aside and followed. The air felt refreshing in contrast to the hot stuffy atmosphere of the bar. It was also much quieter beneath the night sky as they took a seat at a small round table by the black fencing. "How old are you really?" he asked with the smoke billowing from his mouth. He had his back against the chair with his legs spread. His heals were propped up on the legs of the chair.
"Look, I'm really flattered that you think I look so young, but I'm telling you, I'm twenty-one!"
"I'll make a deal with you," he said. "If you tell me your real age, I'll give you my number. Otherwise, you can risk getting a huge fine and possibly some jail time buying your girlfriends some drinks," he shrugged.
"Look, I already got in. I already paid my cover. I'm telling you, I'm twenty-one! You are so frustrating! Here," she pulled her ID out of her bra. He appeared shocked and amused all at once.
"Okay, one, the doorman probably let you slide because he wants to bone you; two, titties are not pockets; and three, that ID is fake as shit, Bailey," he said bluntly, merely glancing at the object.
She tucked it back away as he hit the nail on the head. "Let me see yours then."
He shifted in his seat and got his wallet out. He set the card on the table and she brought it close to her eyes for a comparison. In a different font than hers his name read, Gavin Michael Paradiso. At a close glance, not only was the lettering different, but her card seemed to be made out of a different material. "Alright, fine," she said giving in and handing it back. "I'm eighteen."
He raised his brow at her again and offered her a drag of his cigarette. She attempted to take a breath of it and he laughed as the cherry fell off. "Younger," he told her, giving her a thumbs down.
"Seventeen," she began to blush.
"Damn! You're still in high school…"
"Actually, I graduated early and now I'm taking a little break," she admitted. "Everyone deserves a little fun once in a while, right?"
He threw his cigarette on the ground and smashed it with the bottom of his shoe.
"What did you do after you got out of high school?" Bailey went on to ask.
"I worked, got married, had a daughter, and lost my wife to postpartum," he told her frankly. "But hey, shit happens and you just keep going. What are you going to do?"
"Find a job, move out, and figure things out I guess," she replied honestly.
"Well, good luck with that," he said grabbing the pen from his pants pocket. He had taken it from the cup beside the register. He then took her hand in his and wrote a number down on her palm. "A deal's a deal," he said, "Now stay out of trouble." He then got up from the table and disappeared through the crowd to leave. She sat staring at the numbers written on her palm for a long while.
"Are you okay?" Charlotte questioned Bailey.
"Yeah? Why?" she asked coming out of her daze. Her thoughts had been so distant.
"You're crying," Macy told her.
Bailey appeared shocked and drew her hand across her cheek to find that that it was damp. The tear stained her fingers with black makeup. "It must be the eyeliner," she told them. "Certain brands make my eyes water."
Bailey woke up in the afternoon the next day. She took a shower and walked out of the bathroom with a towel on her head. She wore a pair of sweat pants and a Paradiso Trucking t- shirt that Gavin had let her borrow. When she reached the kitchen to look for something to eat and drink, she found her mother at the sink. "About time you woke up, sweetie. Did you have fun last night?" she asked while washing dishes.
Bailey smiled and said, "Yeah, dad came and got us."
"Oh, by the way, a bouquet of flowers came for you a little bit ago," her mother told her. "I put them on the stand next to the door."
"Really?" she asked, drawing her brows together. She poured herself a glass of water and then walked to the front door. The roses sat red and lush. She found a card tied to the rim of the glass vase and plucked it from the ribbon. It read:
"Bay, I need you in my life. Please meet me at the lake by the fountain. I'll already be there by the time you get this. Don't make me go another moment without you."- Gavin~
Bailey set the card down next to the roses and made a dash for her room. She slid out of her pajamas and replaced them with a long-sleeved autumn dress and black scarf. She then brushed her damp hair and pulled it back into a loose bun. Lastly, she slipped on a pair of canvas shoes and grabbed her car keys.
When Bailey arrived at the fountain, she threw her car in park and killed the engine. When she opened her door, she could clearly see him standing before the fountain. Despite how angry she had once been, something within in her moved her in his direction. She was wise enough to know there were no such things as perfect endings. Self-improvement was a lifelong process and she understood that mistakes would be made along the way.
"Can you forgive me?" he apologized as she approached.
"Yes," she told him, throwing her arms around his neck. They remained so until the warmth radiated between them. His left hand then slipped down to hers and the two began to walk. The forest preserve's trees whispered in the wind with a slight breeze. The sea of red made their faces appear spotted with shadows. Gavin had parked his pickup truck next to the lake up ahead. His tailgate was down with two fishing poles and a tackle box on display. He took the items in his grasp. They sat down beside the lake along the edge where leaves flew past.
Gavin baited his hook and casted out, careful of Bailey who sat in front of him. Her back was propped against his chest. "I heard that someone's been accepted into college," he told her with a smile. She felt the vibrations of his chest against her back. His bottom was planted in the grass. His dark blue jeans kept him warm, along with his black turtle neck sweater.
"Who told you?" Bailey asked, her cheeks slightly reddening.
"Faith, of course. Congrats!" Gavin kept a smile on his face and encouraged her. "You'll do awesome, I know it."
"How about you, how have you been?" she asked, her cheeks couldn't possibly get any redder.
"I've just been working, doing a bit of self-improvement along the way. I sold my semi."
She then asked for an explanation, knowing how much it had meant to him since it had been a gift from his father.
"I couldn't handle her. There were too many memories, and being out there on the road by myself, I just got to thinking and it made me do awful shit. I'd rather sell my semi and give up the road than lose you," he said. "With the money, Leah and I hired two new drivers and bought a used International."
"Is it any easier without your semi?" Bailey asked.
It was quiet for a moment as he reflected. "Yes. I've been clean for a month now, feeling the ups and the downs."
Together they kept their eyes on the calm waters of the lake. They could see the birds flying above in the reflection. "We're all so grateful you're here," Bailey sighed heavily with relief, fully relaxing and leaning into him. The scent of his cologne wavered in the air with the subtle scent of autumn.
Initially, he couldn't get past his feeling his feeling admiration towards Bailey to give her words a second thought. He couldn't fathom what his presence meant to her, only what her presence meant to him, and likewise with Faith. But just as the ripples spread across the lake where the fishing line met the surface, the ripple effect continued on along with the revolution of the heart in his chest. The meaning of life had transformed.
(To be continued in the sequel of this trilogy. Comments are welcome! Please let me know your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading. It truly means the world to me to share my story with others~)