Disclaimer: I own nothing here. Not even the laptop I'm typing this on. I hope he doesn't notice before I finish typing this disclai
"Ugh."
Head pounding, eyes bleary, throat feeling like the backside of Vacuo. Yep, these were certainly symptoms Qrow Branwen was used to waking up to, and he never enjoyed it.
Now, what had he been doing last night? Or perhaps more importantly, what was he supposed to have been doing? He blinked as something was thrust into his field of vision.
"Here you go, Uncle Qrow!" His youngest niece said, beaming, holding out a glass of water. "There's a couple of painkillers in there."
Ah, that's right. He was visiting his nieces. The youngest, Ruby, now fifteen years old, was currently his favourite, but that position was up for grabs depending on if any of that appetizing smell coming from the kitchen was for him...
"Hey, Uncle Qrow. Did the smell wake you? I'm making bacon and egg sandwiches, they'll just be a minute."
That was certainly a strong case for the elder sister. Yang was the better cook of the two, as well. She never managed to split the yolk on a fried egg, at least, which is more than he could even say for himself.
As he drank the glass of medicine-imbibed water and waited for his breakfast, he cast a wary eye at his youngest niece. "Hey, uh... what did we end up talking about last night? I hope I didn't say anything too wild."
He was proud of his long-practiced ability to never give out confidential information even when drunk out of his mind, but sometimes he still had doubts.
Ruby shrugged, "No more than you usually do, Uncle Qrow. A bunch of stories about killing weird Grimm that then turned into a bunch of stories about barmaids you've met on your travels. Gross, by the way."
"Oh, okay then," he paused, "And you're just jealous of my game, kiddo."
"Game? What game do you have that I'd be jealous of," Ruby tilted her head in confusion, "Do you mean like Ultimate Death Battle Ninja Slayer 2? Because I thought the first one was better."
"It was," he reflexively agreed, "But that's not what I meant, I meant... uh..." he glanced at Yang who was walking over to him with a plate in hand and a very unsympathetic grin on her face that told him in no uncertain words he'd get no help from her.
He sighed.
One hearty meal and some small talk later, and Qrow was up on his feet and by the door.
"Well, Tai should be back in a couple of hours, so... don't do anything I would do until he gets back."
"You've got it, Uncle Qrow," Yang grinned.
"Leaving already?" Ruby frowned.
"Yep. Sorry, kids, but I've got a secret mission."
"What kind of secret mission?"
"Kid, I told you a million times, I'm not gonna randomly tell you about secret missions. They're secret for a reason."
"Darn," she muttered, "I'll get you to let something slip one day, Uncle Qrow, just you watch."
"Yeah, right," he chuckled, "The day you get one over on your Uncle Qrow is the day I retire, kiddo. See you both later," he held out two fists, getting a fistbump in return from both girls.
"Come back soon!" Ruby waved him goodbye.
"Good luck, old man," Yang agreed.
"Not old," he shouted back as he walked away.
Heh. He might be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, just like every member of Ozpin's circle, but he could always count on the innocence of his nieces to make it feel a bit less heavy.
—-
"Okay," Ruby reported, having been looking out of the window the whole time, "He's gone. Transformed into bird mode and flew off out of visual range."
"Sweet," Yang reached under the floorboard, pulling out their mutual binder. "Let's go over what we learned today, then."
"He's still hunting for the Spring Maiden while keeping an eye out for whoever attacked Fall," Ruby recalled.
"And he's having no luck with either," Yang shook her head.
"Yeah, well, he can't really do both at once," Ruby pointed out, "Really, if Ozpin has been running a secret conspiracy and fighting a shadow war for thousands of years you'd think he'd have more people in the field than just Uncle Qrow. It's like he's asking to get caught by surprise."
"The man's who knows how many thousand years old," Yang shrugged, "I'd sure as hell be pretty complacent by then."
"Then it should be the job of people around him to keep him right," Ruby grumbled, "Our counter-counter-conspiracy is gonna be way better than this."
"Yep," Yang agreed, "Next thing: Ozpin's looking for an excuse to talk to you and get you into Beacon early."
"Because he found out I have silver eyes," Ruby nodded, "We were looking for an excuse to make this work anyway, so this works with our timeline. You said your source has hired out men for a robbery job, right?"
"Junior did, yeah. A place called From Dust Till Dawn."
"I can be there when they hit it," Ruby suggested, "By complete coincidence, and 'heroically' interrupt the robbery to attract the otherwise entirely unrelated interest of Professor Ozpin."
"He's hiring them out to Roman Torchwick," Yang warned, "That guy's pretty dangerous. I'm fine with you doing it, but I want to back you up just in case."
"Watch from nearby," Ruby agreed, "Going in without a fallback plan would be silly."
"Okay, that works. What next?"
Ruby checked her notes, "General Ironwood is coming to Vale for the Vytal festival."
"And going off of what we heard about him, he'll probably be coming heavy," Yang pondered, "Maybe showing off those new mechs he's had in development and bringing troops."
"Another thing to potentially have to work around, but nothing too major," Ruby waved it off, "The final, most consistent, and most important part..."
They both shared a grin, before they spoke in chorus.
"He still has no idea that he's been telling us everything about his secret global conspiracy for the last few years every time we get him drunk."