If there's one thing I can't stand, it's incompetence. The man can't even make the simple decision between obsequiousness and overconfidence. He clearly needs my help but still makes poor use of it and allows all of his most important specimens to be destroyed. These things are sent to test me.
At first, I thought he may be a useful ally, but as it turns out he has about as much sense as a lobotomised mental patient. Which brings me to another thing. Why exactly did he even consider destroying the brain function of one of his few living test subjects? Trying to cover your tracks, Dr Harrison? Carry on the pretence of running an unsuccessful botany corporation as a front for your amateurish human genetic research? Now that's no way to impress me. If that indeed is what you were trying to do. The only man who has ever impressed me for more than a few moments tried to kill me. Humans have such a boundless capacity for being disappointing. I don't know why I bother to persist in hoping otherwise.
I realised long ago that I could not do this alone. A man can only accomplish so much alone, especially one in my condition. I must rely on others daily to keep me alive. Although I must admit to the slightest anxiety when left alone with a new member of the medical staff, it is a credit to them that none of their number has actively attempted to murder me over the years.
Unwise people have let slip around me pointless blather about counting one's blessings. Well there, I have counted it. My one blessing. And you, Dr Harrison – if you are a real doctor at all – do not feature in it.