Semi long but also kinda interesting Author's Note before I begin:
This story began as an English class assignment, where we were tasked to write a short narrative centered around the research we conducted earlier this year.
Before I started writing, I had the idea of writing this as a fanfiction, changing the names when I turned in the story to my teacher, but then uploading it here with the correct names.
The assignment was to write a narrative of at least 1400 words and between four to six pages in length. However, while writing, I realized that I would not be able to fit the story into six pages and asked my teacher if it could be longer. She agreed.
The final product was a fourteen page story with 3768 words plus one-page of process paragraphs - paragraphs about my research and the journey of writing it.
What I uploaded here is the exact story, word by word, that I turned in to my teacher. The only changes are names of the characters.
The final thing I want to show you before I start the actual story is what I wrote in my process paragraphs.
"For my short narrative, "The Scars of His Past," I researched cancer and its effects it can have on a person physically, mentally, and emotionally. I wasn't initially planning to research cancer, but then my grandfather got diagnosed with an extremely rare type of the disease earlier this year. His diagnosis, as distressing as it is, helped spark my idea for my research topic. While researching, I discovered that cancer affects a person mentally and emotionally, not just physically. Along the same line, there were many symptoms that I hadn't ever considered to be related to cancer, such as balance problems, confusion, headaches, changes in appetite, and a weakened immune system. This surprised me, as the examples of cancer I had seen in television, film, and writings depicted the patients as otherwise healthy with no other issues. These new pieces of information helped me formulate the description of an unseen but important character.
"I knew immediately that I wanted to write a romance as it's my strong suit, especially after reading so many titles of the same genre. Unfortunately, my writing process wasn't quite as direct. My original conflict was going to include one of the main characters, Blaine, receiving a cancer diagnosis. However, I discovered that I wasn't entirely sure how to fit it into my story. Eventually, I came up with the idea that the other main character, Kurt, reveals that someone in his own life passed away from cancer when he was young, and instead of cancer, Blaine is hinted and eventually revealed to have a different conflict."
Please enjoy the story, and I apologize in advance for any mistakes!
IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of bullying, death, suicide, and abuse
I don't own Glee, sadly.
The New York sky was hidden behind dark gray clouds that threatened to cause a downpour at any moment. Despite this, Kurt practically skipped down the city's sidewalk, humming a tune in his head. After months of job searching and unsuccessful interviews, he had finally gotten a decent paying job with flexible hours. Just as it started to sprinkle, he slipped into his still new workplace: a bookshop.
Despite being in crowded New York City, the store was surprisingly expansive, with three floors filled with books from biographies, to picture books, to fantasies, to textbooks. Kurt's favorite section was on the third floor. He could picture himself sitting on a comfy bench and reading a sweet romance novel while sipping his coffee. He nearly sighed aloud just thinking of it.
A boom of thunder broke him out of his trance, making him jump. Embarrassed, Kurt walked over to the registers and put on his name tag.
Kurt Hummel
He/Him/His
He smiled. It looked so official. Under the name tag, Kurt pinned a small pride flag pin.
Still smiling, he looked up to see a man that looked about his age standing in front of the cash register. The man's black hair was dripping water and his clothes were just as soaked.
Kurt stood there, not entirely sure what to do.
"Hi," the man finally spoke quietly, not exactly knowing what to do either.
"Hi," Kurt replied, almost hesitantly.
"I know this is a weird thing to ask but do you have any towels?" the man wrung his hands nervously.
Kurt suddenly noticed that the man was shivering.
"We have some paper towels in the bathroom," he replied. "And a hand dryer for your clothes. I can help you if you'd like."
"Thank you," he paused for a short moment to look at the employee's name tag. "Kurt."
The way the man said his name sent pleasant shivers down his spine. He said it as if it was something so delicate. So important.
In the bathroom, the man went into the stall and traded his clothes with paper towels to dry himself. Kurt held the clothing under the hand dryer until the clothes were warm and dry.
"I never asked for your name," he said, slipping the clothes under the stall door.
"Blaine," he answered and, after a couple short minutes, exited the stall and went to wash his hands. "Thank you for helping me. I got caught in the rain and couldn't risk getting my papers wet."
"Papers?" Kurt asked, and wanted to punch himself for being so curious. He didn't need to know what the man had in his bag.
"Schoolwork and music," Blaine said, seeming unbothered. He looked at the other man and saw a curious glint in his eyes. He decided to feed his curiosity. "I'm a musician. I really only do gigs in some clubs and bars right now, but I'm hoping to one day make it big."
Blaine was never one to talk about himself. In fact, he usually did his best to avoid his own life as a conversation topic, which made going on dates difficult. It wasn't that he was insecure of himself, but that he was afraid of talking too much, revealing too much, and being hurt too many times. He knew the weight of his past, and also knew how easily it could return. It already haunted him everywhere he went.
Nonetheless, Kurt seemed genuinely interested in getting to know him.
The two men walked out of the bathroom together, laughing and smiling. Outside the bathroom, Santana, Kurt's coworker and roommate, was organizing some bookshelves. She caught her friend's eyes and smirked at him, wiggling her eyebrows. Kurt glared at her and kept walking.
His other roommate, Rachel, was attending the registers that he had left in order to help Blaine. She looked at him with the other man and smiled. She probably intended for her excitement to be subtle, but her big toothy grin was anything but. Kurt rolled his eyes at her, but inside, he was just as hopeful, if not more.
Growing up in Ohio was hard on Kurt. He had been verbally bullied throughout all of middle school. During his four long years in high school, he was pushed into lockers, called slurs, given cruel nicknames, and excluded from anything and everything, from lunch tables to school clubs. He knew he was different, but he embraced his uniqueness. Even though the poor treatment got to him sometimes, he never let it dim his light inside. He knew that one day, all the other idiots in his school would one day bow down to him, begging for forgiveness. The thought always made him smile. Not because he wanted to be worshiped, but because he knew that he deserved love and respect. He also wanted to one day show people to, no matter the obstacles, keep fighting. Keep going. Stay strong. Stay brave.
For as long as he could remember, Kurt was a hopeless romantic. He constantly dreamt of holding another man's hand, kissing in the rain, snuggling on the couch while watching a rom-com, and finding the love of his life. Despite his dreams, however, Kurt never had a boyfriend. He never held another man's hand, kissed in the rain, snuggled on the couch while watching a rom-com, or found the love of his life. But he was still hopeful. Moving to New York City meant many more opportunities. Opportunities for getting his dream job, finding romance, and starting a new life far from his painful past.
"Hey Rach," she looked up from her phone; she was probably texting her boyfriend. "Can you cover for me? I'm going to take my break now."
Rachel nodded and went back to her phone.
The two walked outside. It had stopped raining, and, although he was somewhat grateful, Kurt couldn't help but wish that he and Blaine had the opportunity to huddle close together under an umbrella as they walked. Still, he was excited to spend any time with him at all.
The pair walked and talked and told each other funny stories about themselves and their friends. Blaine told a story about the time when he found his friends Sam and Tina dancing ridiculously together, and tried to imitate one of the dance moves. Kurt let out a bright laugh, making Blaine blush and bite his bottom lip.
Blaine felt strangely comfortable around the other man. He was usually extremely wary around strangers, but something about Kurt made him feel more confident and bold. It was an unusual feeling - a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. He welcomed it, as he was certain it wouldn't last forever, or even longer than an hour or so more. He knew that when he went back home, he would once again be alone, drowning in his feelings.
Blaine pushed those thoughts away. He needed to feel happy, even if for a short amount of time. So instead of allowing his fears to swallow him whole, he looked at the man beside him. His blue eyes were sparkling as he talked and when he looked at the other man, they shone. Every time Kurt laughed, he scrunched his nose adorably. His mouth moved quickly when he spoke, yet Blaine could understand everything he said, and held onto every word. Whenever he talked about his father back in Ohio, he had a sad look in his eyes that Blaine wished he could kiss away.
No, he scolded himself. You just met him. He's probably not even interested in you. Stop being creepy. Words yelled at him from the past that still haunted him interfered with his thoughts. He pushed them away.
Still, there was a lingering desire to stop in the middle of the sidewalk and pull the other man into a kiss.
Kurt sat on a bench, Blaine sitting next to him. They sat next to a large fountain and turned towards each other.
Kurt had a look in his eyes, as if he wanted to ask a question. Blaine tilted his head to the side, gesturing for him to say what was on his mind. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before speaking.
"Can I ask you something?" he finally spoke.
Blaine nodded, starting to grow worried at the other man's anxiety.
"Are you?" he spoke slowly. "Are you gay?"
Blaine swallowed, nervous to answer the question. Was Kurt homophobic? Would he stop talking to him if he told the truth?
Then he remembered seeing a pride flag pig under Kurt's name tag, and relaxed.
He nodded, slowly, wondering why he was asking.
Kurt's mouth made the shape of a small circle. "Can I ask you another question?"
"Sure," Blaine said, unsure of what the other question could be.
"Can I?" he began. "Never mind."
"No please! I want to know," Blaine pleaded.
"I- Can I- Can I kiss you?"
Blaine sucked in a short breath. He wasn't expecting Kurt to ask him that. There he was, sitting on a bench next to the most adorable man he had ever met, and he was asking to kiss him. Was he dreaming?
He must have hesitated for too long because Kurt spoke.
"Never mind. Sorry." He got up to leave, embarrassed.
"Kurt, wait!" Blaine put a hand on the other man's shoulder, signaling him to sit back down. Trembling, Kurt followed his unspoken request. He gripped his knee so hard, his knuckles were white.
Seeing his nerves, Blaine put his hand on top of the other man's and squeezed it gently. "Yes," he said, his voice shaky.
He leaned forward, taking his time to make sure the other man didn't regret asking, but Kurt leaned forward to meet him in the middle.
Their lips caught on each other's, hesitant at first, but then grew confident. They broke away, blushing. Blaine rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Kurt, who was playing with his hands, bashfully.
"That was my first kiss," Blaine whispered. Kurt looked up from his hands.
"No pressure," he joked, and gave a small, nervous laugh.
"Don't worry. It was a great first kiss."
They smiled at each other.
The two men, hand in hand, took their time walking back to the bookstore.
When they got there, Kurt stopped, Blaine coming to a halt beside him.
Blaine looked up at him with warm, syrup-colored eyes.
"Was that," Kurt began, then paused. "Was that kiss casual?"
"If you want it to be," Blaine said, praying that he didn't.
"To be honest, no. Do you?"
"No. Not at all."
Kurt stood there for a moment. "Then what does it mean?" he asked.
"Does this make us boyfriends?" Blaine spoke carefully, hoping he wasn't too forward with his choice of words.
"Do you want us to be?" Kurt asked, nervous.
"Do you?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
"Okay."
Their conversation was simple, but revealed a lot. Although they both had never dated before, they proved they were ready. They each recognized the importance of the other person in the relationship.
Maybe they had each found their soulmate.
Blaine walked into the living room to find Kurt watching The Fault In Our Stars for the millionth time that week.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" Blaine asked.
"I'm not feeling good," Kurt said.
Blaine walked over to the couch and placed his hand on his boyfriend's forehead.
"You don't seem to have a fever," he said.
Kurt just shrugged.
Blaine grabbed the remote and paused the movie. "What's going on?" he asked.
Kurt shrugged again.
"It's Mother's Day!" Blaine said excitedly, trying to cheer him up. "Be happy!"
"Why would I be happy?" Kurt asked. "I don't have a mom anymore."
Blaine sat on the couch next to him. "What do you mean?"
"She died when I was eight."
"How did she die?" Blaine asked carefully.
"Cancer," Kurt stated simply.
"Do you want to talk about her?" Blaine asked, and Kurt nodded. "I would love to hear about her. What was she like?"
"She was probably the kindest person I have ever known," Kurt began. "She came to all of my dance recitals and concerts, even if it meant missing an important meeting. If I ever needed anything, she would go out of her way to get it for me. I'm sure that if she ever needed to, she would have sacrificed everything just for me.
"She also loved to sing and had a beautiful, calming voice. Every night, she would sing a song with me while she tucked me in for bed. Whenever there was a night that I was too tired to sing with her, she'd sing 'I'll Stand By You' to me. I think she knew I wasn't going to have her forever. I don't know how she knew, but I think she did.
"When my mom got cancer, well, everything changed. After a while, she couldn't go to work anymore. It wasn't safe. My dad also had to take care of her all the time because she was a fall risk. Her cancer affected her balance and, one time when my dad was grocery shopping, she fell down the steps. Somehow, she wasn't hurt, but it was terrifying nonetheless. I never really believed in God, but I thanked him many times for sparing her life after that incident.
"My mom started chemo a few months after her diagnosis. The chemo caused her to lose her hair that I used to love to braid when I was younger. The medicine she took also affected her brain. She was often confused by the simplest things, like cooking and brushing her teeth. The drugs also lowered her immune system. She got sick pretty often, and we never knew how because she never left the house. She basically changed into someone I could hardly recognize anymore."
Blaine scootched towards Kurt on the couch and rubbed his back.
"According to her doctor," Kurt continued, "she was likely to get really anxious and distressed because of all she was dealing with. But, surprisingly, she really wasn't that scared, not even of death, which seemed more and more likely every day. I think she was scared at first, when she was diagnosed with cancer, but I think she eventually made peace with it. She knew I would be in good hands with my dad, and she was right.
"In third grade, I played Michael Banks in Mary Poppins. I was so proud of that role because it was my biggest one yet. On closing night, my mom came to see it. That night, I gave my best performance. My mom was so proud of me and told me that I was going to grow up to be an amazing man.
"The next day, my mom got really sick with pneumonia. She fought it as hard as she could, but that combined with her cancer was too strong. She passed away a week later."
Kurt paused for a moment, a single tear revealing itself. Blaine gently wiped it away.
"I like to think that she'd be proud of me now," Kurt said.
"She would be," Blaine told him. "Really proud."
That sat there for a few minutes in silence.
"She would adore you, Blaine," Kurt said. "She would love seeing how happy you make me."
"She sounds like she was a lovely person," Blaine said. "I wish I could have met her."
"I do, too," Kurt whispered and snuggled against Blaine.
Blaine sat on the couch, computer on his lap and sheet music in hand.
"Hey you." Kurt sat next to him and put his head on Blaine's shoulder. "Santana and Brit were wondering if we would go to dinner with them tonight. It's been so long since we've really gotten to go on a double date with them. I think it would be nice to catch up."
Blaine sighed. "I miss them, too."
Kurt smiled. "So is that a yes?"
Blaine nodded.
Kurt clapped his hands eagerly and got up from the couch.
"Thank you," he kissed the top of his boyfriend's head and left to get ready.
Blaine smiled; he loved seeing his boyfriend so excited. He finished typing and shut the computer, neatly piling his papers on top. He got up and placed his laptop on the coffee table before walking up to Kurt's room. He knocked on the door and, after hearing the all clear, walked in.
Kurt stood in front of the mirror wearing a lilac button down tucked into white skinny jeans, struggling to tie his tie.
"Let me help you," Blaine offered, and snickered when Kurt threw it at him in dramatic frustration.
He stood behind his boyfriend and draped the cloth around his neck. He put his chin on the other man's shoulder and looked in the mirror as he tied Kurt's tie. When he finished, he gave him a peck on the cheek but kept his head on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist. Kurt put his hands over Blaine's.
"You look gorgeous," Blaine said.
"I know," Kurt joked, making him laugh.
Reluctantly, Blaine dropped his hands from his waist and stepped back. He walked towards the wardrobe and fished out his clothes.
Although they had only been together for less than a year, the couple spent a lot of time at each other's apartments. After the third time Blaine had fallen asleep while snuggling at Kurt's loft, they decided to sacrifice a drawer in each of their homes for a couple of the other person's clothes, just in case it happened again (it did). However, the drawers also came in handy for spontaneous dates.
Kurt left the room saying he was going to go style his hair.
After he heard the click of the door being shut, Blaine undressed himself, avoiding eying his torso; he didn't need it to ruin his good mood. He put on a white collared shirt and layered it with a red patterned vest. He slipped on a pair of black jeans and red Converse.
He walked into the bathroom where Kurt was finishing combing his hair.
He placed the comb on the counter and turned to face Blaine.
"Hi, handsome," he said.
"Hi," Blaine smiled.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yep. Are you?"
"I think so. I just feel like I'm missing something."
Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and squeezed it.
"You look perfect," he said.
Kurt smiled. "So do you," he said.
They shared a short but meaningful kiss then left for the date.
"It was nice being able to catch up with Santana and Brittany," Kurt said later that night. He snuggled against Blaine on the couch.
"Mhm," Blaine mumbled, distracted.
"It was really sad, though, when Santana told us about her student's suicide."
Blaine tensed at his comment, hoping Kurt didn't notice; he did.
"Blaine," he said, concerned. He didn't respond.
Kurt picked his head up from his boyfriend's lap and looked at him.
"Blaine," he said with even more concern. "Please answer me."
"What?" Blaine practically whispered.
"What's going on?" Kurt asked.
"Nothing. I'm fine," he spoke quickly.
"Blaine, look at me."
Blaine shifted to face his boyfriend, who cupped his face with his hands to keep his eyes on him.
"You can tell me," he said with sincerity and a worried but warm look in his eyes.
Tears began to stream down Blaine's face.
"I know I can," he said quietly. "It's just hard to say."
Kurt wiped the tears away with his thumbs, still cupping his boyfriend's face. "Take your time, then," he told him.
They sat there for a few minutes, allowing Blaine to take a moment to calm down and collect his thoughts. He finally spoke.
"You know how I never talk about my family?"
Kurt nodded.
"Well, there's a reason for that," Blaine said. "Growing up, it was fine. My parents treated me well. My brother, Cooper, and I got in fights every once in a while, but that's normal for brothers. I was happy - really happy.
"But our whole family dynamic changed in middle school after I came out. My dad couldn't even recognize me as his son. He began saying that he only had one son. He never used my name; he only used the f-slur to refer to me."
Blaine's voice was shaky, but he refused to let that stop him.
"And then he started to hit me."
Kurt gasped, his hands flying to his mouth.
"Every single time I did anything wrong, he would hit me. One time, I came home five minutes after curfew, and I almost ended up in the hospital. I have scars all along my sides, back, and stomach. I grew extremely depressed, and tried killing myself multiple times."
Admitting his attempts was what finally made him break and he started crying.
Hearing his painful sobs broke Kurt's heart. He pulled Blaine into a hug.
They stayed there for a while until Kurt finally spoke. He pulled back from the hug to look his boyfriend in the eyes.
"I'm so proud of you. And I love you," he confessed for the first time.
"I love you, too," Blaine replied, warmth filling his scarred heart.
"Can I see them?" Kurt asked carefully after a few moments.
Blaine swallowed, but nodded, knowing exactly what he was referring to. He stood up and slowly took off his shirt.
Along his entire torso were memories of his disturbing past. On his sides were bruises left from years of punches. His back and front were covered in scars that remained of healed scratches. Blaine could see tears in his boyfriend's eyes as he looked at all the pain his father had left behind.
Kurt stood up from the tear stained couch; he had an idea.
"Come here," he said, and took his hands in his. He pulled him in for a kiss, deep and slow. Then he began to trail kisses down his boyfriend's neck until he reached his collarbone.
"What are you doing?" Blaine asked with a small smile.
"Helping you heal," Kurt answered.
He kissed each of the small scars on his chest, then moved to kiss every scar on his stomach, sides, and back.
Blaine watched his boyfriend with tears in his eyes. Not sad tears, but tears of happiness? Relief? Love? He wasn't entirely sure.
Kurt interrupted his thoughts with one final kiss to his lips.
"I love you," Blaine said.
"I love you, too."
Maybe, Blaine believed for the first time, the scars from his past would one day disappear.