Tap, tap, tap.
Jazmine jerked up from her bed, the pink iPod shuffle on her nightstand falling to the floor and taking the earbuds with it. She blinked around the darkness of her bedroom confused and though she hadn't actually been sleeping, with Usher and Alicia Key's singing voices so close to her ear she might as well dozed off for a quick minute without realizing it. Her unfinished homework was still under the dimly lit lamp of her desk where she had left it to take a one hour break. Jazmine looked over to the clock.
12:43. Definitely a lot more than an hour.
Tap, tap, tap.
The noise was coming from her window and for a brief moment her blood turned to ice at the knowledge that someone was outside. It was a clear tapping of a knuckle, no cat or bird could knock that hard and through the hazy sleepiness of her mind Jazmine thought about calling the police.
She didn't. It didn't take her long to piece the puzzle together. If it were a robber they would've opened the window –it was almost never locked, she could just hear Huey nagging her– steal anything they wanted and then leave quietly. If it were a murderer they would've broken the window by now and Jazmine wouldn't be debating over this.
God, that was morbid. Maybe Huey was a bad influence after all. Oh well.
The intruder was waiting for her to open, knocking on the glass to make their presence known and Jazmine had to give credit when credit was due, they were a very polite criminal.
Pulling down on the covers and putting her slippers on, Jazmine stretched her sore arms over her head and leaned down to pick up her iPod. The soft R&B song was still playing through the earbuds and she hit pause, rolling the cable around the music player and tucking it in under her pillow.
Jazmine dragged herself across the room yawning one, two, and three times before grabbing a side of the curtain and drawing it back. She knew the person on the other side wasn't a dangerous killer but seeing Huey Freeman perched so casually by her window froze her in place all the same. Suddenly she wasn't sleepy anymore.
He turned to her in a jolt, clearly absorbed inside his mind, and he was about to say something before Jazmine beat him to it.
"Stay right there," she mouthed awkwardly, gesturing to him to stay put.
Not waiting for an answer or any sign back, Jazmine shut the curtain and ran to turn on the lights. To her horror her room looked unusually messy. . . or maybe it was the thought of Huey outside that made her nervous. She threw a pair of dirty socks and a basketball shirt into the laundry bin, picked up school books, pencil shavings and colors from the desk and stuffed them in a drawer. The rest of the mismatched shoes and clothes were shoved to the closet. She paused for a moment and then straightened her bed covers for some reason.
This was so stupid. Huey wouldn't judge her messy room. He's been here thousands of times already and even though his side of the shared room he had with Riley was always clean and tidy, his brother's side put a damper on both of them. She was running on pure adrenaline from her (accidental) six hour power nap and the boy she had a huge crush on was waiting for her.
Jazmine tried to brush her hair with her fingers, slowly starting to panic for no reason. Was she taking too long? Was she making too much noise? Did he leave? Her curls were in painful knots from tossing around in bed and she was well aware that it was a lost cause for the time being. Great, she just hoped she didn't have drool on her chin.
When she returned to the window she was amused to find Huey in the exact same spot she had left him. He hadn't moved an inch and he was frowning like always, still and emotionless like a statue. Her heart swole with fondness.
Jazmine smiled, sliding the window panel open and letting the cold night air cool her down. She leaned over on her forearms and Huey didn't back away. That was a good sign.
"Evening, Huey," she said in a mockingly formal voice, "Was the front door not good enough for you?"
Huey snorted and rolled his eyes, though the shine in his deep burgundy eyes gave away traces of humor. Only slightly, but enough for Jazmine to notice.
"Didn't know if your folks were home or not," he explained and she caught him subtly looking around her room. Despite almost three years of friendship, Huey wasn't technically allowed in her bedroom. Her father considered it inappropriate. That didn't mean he didn't sneak in from time to time, it just meant they just had to be extra careful about it, "Feels easier explaining myself to you than to Sarah and Tom."
She hummed in agreement, "Well, luckily for you, my parents are out tonight."
"I can tell. It's past your bedtime," he said.
It was scary how good Jazmine has become in deciphering the strange language in which her best friend spoke. It had been a trial and error task, Huey was weird in all meanings of the word. He was inexpressive by nature, he talked in an oddly flat tone, his vocabulary and humor was difficult to understand at best and his words sometimes didn't match his actions. Jazmine had never met someone like him and most likely never would, so she took on the task to learn his mannerisms and try to understand the words that went unspoken.
Jazmine was sensitive to a fault, always has been. It'd been hard to overlook the crudeness and vulgarity she wasn't used to being around that emanated in Huey in favor of seeing the hidden meanings. He has made her cry, they have screamed at each other and disagreed frequently. Overall, it had been a very rocky road, they were clearly very different people.
It was evident to anyone that they shouldn't have worked as friends, but somehow they did.
It was hard to believe there was a time where Jazmine hadn't been able to understand Huey at all. It was so obvious to her now. The way his eyebrows tensed, relaxed or furrowed, the subtle quirks in his lip, the change of lilt in his voice, and even his eyes were surprisingly telling if you cared enough to look closely.
There was so much of Huey and she was starving for new things to discover. Maybe she would never understand him completely, no matter how much time passes they will always be different, but her small world felt less lonely.
Taking by the faint playful look on his face, there was no real bite to his words. In some way, she knew he wasn't trying to make fun of her.
"Shut up!" Jazmine laughed, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, "I can still rat you out. You scared the life outta me."
Huey shrugged, turning his attention to a near post light, "Nah, you won't snitch."
"How do you know that?" she said, resting her chin on her hand. She wouldn't snitch, they both knew that, but the night was nice, the street was quiet for once, the soft glow of her bedroom draped them with yellow warmth and Huey's certainty made her a little curious.
"Cause then we'll both get into trouble and Tom will ban you from hanging out with me," he said plainly in that stoic tone her's could never. It was such a pretty voice, she thought not for the first time. Deep, silky and clear, but she would never outright say it, She might actually die. And then Huey smirked, a little too smug for him, "I know you don't want that."
Jazmine blushed. It sounded like a dare, it was worded like a dare, and for an alarming moment Jazmine wondered if he knew. Has she not been as subtle as she thought she was? Huey sounded extremely confident for her liking and all Jazmine could do was flush from her nose to the tip of her ears. It was true, she would hate to be grounded from seeing him having this kind of liberties, but hearing it out loud from Huey's mouth was nothing short of embarrassing.
"Yeah. . . well. . . ." she sputtered, her heart ringing in her ears. Huey was watching her under his long eyelashes, almost challenging her to say the contrary. She stuttered something so humiliatingly incomprehensible that she was sure she was going to remember this moment for months to come. God, he had even prettier eyes. "That's not the point right now, Huey! What are you really doing here?"
Good, yes, change the subject. Thankfully, Huey let her off the hook, but not without casting her a knowing glance that made her shiver.
"Just Riley and Granddad pissing me off," he said, as casually as talking about the everyday weather, which in the Freeman household kinda was, "Had to get out of there. It felt a lot more unbearable than usual."
Jazmine nodded wordlessly, tapping on the windowsill in a musical pattern, racking her brain for something to say. Huey getting annoyed by his family was so common even she got a headache just by listening to him rant. But that was usually the end of it. He would get reasonably frustrated, blow off some steam in any way and move on. Cleanse, rinse and repeat.
Tonight was different. Huey was upset. He didn't seem to want to say it but to Jazmine's polished and trained eyes, he was so tense he could snap at any moment. She knew this side of Huey, not as well as she would like but she did know she had to tether carefully. It's like swimming through unknown waters or walking into an active landmine with a blindfold on. It echoes inside her mind, bitter memories passing by in a blur.
Here was the real kicker though. The teeny tiny little problem. The 'always comes back to bite you in the ass' whoopsy daisy. You see, Jazmine had this thing where she could not for the life of her think before speaking. She would always burst out the first thing that came to mind at any place in any moment before she could think it through. It had gotten her in a lot of trouble in the past, speaking at inappropriate places or at the wrong time, but it mostly just made her look stupid and insensitive.
So when a sudden thought rang a bell in her brain, she didn't hold back.
"Is it because it's your birthday tomorrow?" she blurred out and the second it left her mouth she realized it had been the wrong move to make.
Huey stiffened, as if he wasn't already about to break in half from the tension in his muscles. His jaw clenched tightly as he turned to look at her with unreadable eyes. Jazmine could actually pinpoint the exact moment he closed on himself.
"How do you know that?" Huey deadpanned in the usual way he did, but there was an edge under it that set off alarms. It was accusatory and demanding and calmingly vicious.
Jazmine was taken aback. She blamed human instincts when she flinched back from where she was leaning on the window. She didn't miss the flash of hurt that took over Huey's sharp features for a split second and that disappeared as quickly as it came. She wasn't scared of him, fear hadn't even crossed her mind, and she desperately wanted to tell him that.
"I. . . um. . ." Her first thought was to lie. Say it had been a wild guess and nothing else; but A, Jazmine was an awful liar, Huey would see right through her and she would dig herself in a deeper hole; or B, he would find out the truth later and that was objectively worse. In the end, it was the simple fact that they didn't lie to each other that made her confess. Huey greatly valued honesty, they had agreed from the beginning to not lie no matter the consequences or feelings. It was one of the things that made them work, and Jazmine had to respect that, especially with sensitive subjects. So she took in a deep breath and said, "Three months ago, Mrs. Kim from the library asked me to help her organize the student files from our grade and store them in the records. Your folder was one of them. Curiosity got the best of me and I opened it," her voice started to waver and sweat was forming on her brow, "I-I swear I didn't see a lot, but your birthdate was in the first sentences that I did catch a glimpse from. I'm really really sorry."
Her confession hung heavy in the air and it felt like it was crushing her. Now that Jazmine had stopped to fucking think for a second, she realized what a huge invasion of privacy it had been. Was this it? Was this going to be their breaking point? Would she even blame Huey if he were to yell at her right now? No, of course not, he had every right and she should've known better than to pry.
Huey didn't like his birthday, he didn't acknowledge it.
He didn't tell her, but she caught up in the second year. At first she thought he just didn't like her enough at the time to tell her his birthday. They knew each other for only two months and they were still walking the line between neighbors/classmates/general annoyance. It made sense when Jazmine didn't receive a birthday invitation that year, Huey was already trying to avoid her all together.
It was the year that followed that didn't make sense.
Jazmine loved her birthday, it was one of her favorite days of the year (after christmas and saint valentine's day of course) it was all hugs, kisses, presents, and funfetti cake. She couldn't understand why Huey wouldn't like it. Sure, he wasn't exactly mister sunshines and the life of the party, but he was still a kid at the end of the day and even someone like him has to have a little bit of child wonderment. Or so she thought. It didn't take her long to realize how dead serious Huey was about not even mentioning his birthday.
Logic told her something must've happened in the past. She didn't know that much about the Freeman brothers before they moved to Woodcrest. They were from south side Chicago, they had lived with an aunt after their parents died and Huey has been a gifted child since infancy. That was it. Jazmine, for all her impulsiveness, knew sometimes not to ask if she wasn't told. So she decided to pay close attention every time she was in Mr. Freeman's house or when they invited her on day outs.
It wasn't a brag but she was thorough when she put her mind to it. She noted that nobody spoke about Huey's birthday in particular. Mr. Freeman took lavish vacations abroad on his birth week and Riley was allowed a school free day to do whatever he pleased. Huey didn't even give away any indications that it might be his special day.
It didn't take a genius to figure things out. If you knew him as well as she did, you'd know that it wasn't the absence of child wonderment or even a dislike of festivities. Huey didn't celebrate because it brought back bad memories. Jazmine was painfully familiar with Huey's trauma responses. Those were scary.
She once had been dumb enough to test one of her theories out and after that very upsetting accident, she knew better not to intrude. Maybe one day Huey will tell her what happened, or maybe he never would, and that was okay. Some things were better off buried away.
This wasn't how they were supposed to talk about it. Jazmine wished so bad she could take it all back. From the moment she stupidly decided to open his file to the way she had just blurted out such an awful thing like it didn't matter.
It did matter. It mattered a lot.
Huey hadn't said a word and Jazmine was sure her eyes were starting to fog. His vacant face, hard and handsome but impossible to read made her want to rip her hair out. Why wasn't he screaming at her? Why was he still here? Why hasn't he stormed out and cut all ties with her once and for all? He's gotten so much more angry at her for far less worse things before. His quietness was unsettling, like waiting for a pin to drop and Jazmine was starting to worry he was going into another of his episodes.
"Is that all you're going to say?"
She jumped at the sound of his voice finally breaking the silence. Her stomach dropped like a punch to the gut and now she was afraid of actually crying. Of course her half assed apology wasn't enough, but she didn't know what to say without making everything worse. She didn't trust her brain to put together something that would even come close to what she was thinking, the chances of saving her friendship with Huey were getting slimmer by the second and her hands were starting to shake.
Should she grovel at his feet? Would that magically make everything better? Fuck, fuck! He was waiting for her to say something, anything.
"W-what?" she said dumbly.
Huey pulled his knees to his chest, surrounding them with his arms. At the very least it didn't look like he was going to storm off.
"Is that all you're going to ask me?" he rephrased, and her face must've reflected confusion because he continued, "It's the first time ever you've out right say something about my birthday. Just thought you'd want to ask more."
Oh, oh. The little yellow hamster in her brain that she had baptized as 'Lemon' started to run on their cute little wheel.
"No!‒ I'm not‒ It's‒" she fumbled a bit before slowly picturing the words in her mind, "I shouldn't have said anything, I'm so sorry. I know. . .that. . . isn't something you want to talk about and we don't have to. I won't ask anything you don't tell me yourself. I just thought that might've been what was bothering you, I didn't think twice about it. I'm sorry." she said, gathering every inch of sincerity she felt inside. "Just forget about it. Let's talk about something else."
To further prove her point, Jazmine went back to leaning into the window frame with all the casualness she could bring herself to fake. Inside she was feeling everything but calmness, she was certain her pulse was going to jump out of her skin. Please take the withdrawal she quietly begged let's talk about school, winter break, types of leaves, anything.
"You're right," he said and the world seemed to stop, "It is because tomorrow is my birthday."
Jazmine read his file, she already knew it was tomorrow, but hearing Huey confirm this made her heart stop as if a part of her was in denial that she had even got the day right. That her eyes had tricked her and all of this could've been avoided from the beginning.
November 24, huh.
She managed to stay quiet while she processed everything and gave Huey space to add something else if he wanted to. The monumental step their strange friendship had taken tonight was surreal. Compared to other people, this would be one more trivial thing to know about someone and forget about it after a while, but to her it felt like a leap into the unknown. That was what she treasured about them, every new fact about him felt like a prize earned on trust and honesty. Jazmine wondered if he felt the same way, even though she was far from being as private about her life as he was.
Suddenly Jazmine felt like she was holding a beautiful fragile glass vase in her sweaty hands.
"Okay," she offered softly. Huey hadn't said anything else and she knew that, for now, it was all he was going to tell her. That was fine. It was much more than enough.
They settled in silent company. It wasn't completely comfortable, but it was miles away from the previously tense one. Jazmine switched her attention between the starry sky and to Huey's still form. She took a moment to check his body language, making sure he was in a right state of mind. He seemed relaxed from what she could tell, his posture was lax and curved, his eyebrows deep in thought. Who knew what he was thinking but he looked a lot more at ease than how he arrived.
Crickets chirped in the distance. The street was empty. She heard a dog bark a few times before settling and the neighbor's cat was sleeping on the ceiling again. It was such a peaceful night, fitting for Huey Freeman's birthday.
Which according to her digital clock lighting a neon pink 12:04, was today.
Jazmine bit her lip, unsure on how to go about it. Through her mindless excitement of finally knowing Huey's birthday, she got him a gift. The red box she wrapped herself that was hidden in her closet was now mocking her. It would be insulting to give Huey a birthday present, that might actually be what makes him leave. It would be inappropriate in all the senses of the word.
Still, it was a shame. Jazmine really thinks Huey would like it, and it would be a waste to throw it out. So Jazmine tried another approach.
She cleared her throat, going for it before she lost her nerve, "Huey?"
Huey hummed. In his language it translated to 'I'm listening'
"I got you a little end of the school year present." She smiled, her leg bouncing anxiously. Yeah, that's it, short and sweet.
Huey raised an eyebrow at her, "So birthday present."
Jazmine blushed, feeling like a child caught red handed. How the hell did he do that? Some day she has to ask him what about her tipped people off.
"No! It's the end of the school year present!" she insisted stubbornly for no reason, she was already caught.
"Jazmine."
"Okay, fine, it's a birthday present." She caved immediately, her body starting to bubble with anxiety again, "You don't have to accept it though, I completely understand. It was stupid."
Huey thought about it for a moment, thankfully not taking too long for Jazmine to spiral, "I'll accept it if you promise me one thing."
"Yes, yes, what is it?" she nodded. At this point she'd do anything for him.
"Promise me you won't delve into things like this without permission," he said and Jazmine felt that familiar tightness in her throat everytime she got scolded or felt a sliver of rejection. Her stomach would knot itself up and bile would rise in her pained throat. She didn't understand why it happened, but it made her want to cry. It took Huey to speak again for her to resurface back to reality, "Please."
It was soft, sincere and most importantly kind. He wasn't rejecting her. He wasn't angry at her. He wasn't even scolding her. He was simply asking her to not meddle into private matters like that again. He was setting boundaries. This was normal for friends to do.
Jazmine took a deep breath to ground herself, "Of course. I was wrong and I'm sorry. Promise I won't do it again."
Huey nodded and Jazmine swore she could see the ghost of a smile, "Alright. Let me see it."
"Huh?"
"The present, Jazmine," Huey sighed.
"Oh! Right!" She laughed awkwardly, her eyes shooting in the closet's direction, "Wait here."
She was drumming with excitement, barely hearing the sarcastic 'Where else would I go' that followed. The present was easy to spot, she had been rehearsing on the many ways on how she was going to give it to him, but now she couldn't even remember one of them. As soon as she realized this was actually happening all her confidence flew out the window and nervous energy settled on her finger tips.
This would be the first gift she ever gives him, and it wouldn't have been such a big deal a year ago, but now after admitting to herself that she liked him –a lot– she felt terribly self conscious.
When she returned to the window she was surprised to see that Huey changed places. He was closer, seated more on the windowsill than on the roof tiles this way. His back was to her, facing the street in the direction of the tree hill (their tree hill) which obviously couldn't be seen at this hour. It did look a lot more comfortable than the place he was before where he was holding on so as to not roll down the roof's inclination.
A rush of courage spurted in Jazmine as she poked her head out, "Hey, mind if I join you?"
Huey made a curt agreement noise in the back of his throat and scooted a bit to the left. In a very graceful and not at all clumsy manner, Jazmine crawled out the window to settle down next to Huey. Not before almost losing balance and wobbling forward. Lucky for her, Huey with his almost ninja reflexes grabbed her elbow and pulled her back before she slipped and broke her damn neck. Explaining why she caused a bloody chaos on main street to his parents in the morning was out of the question.
"Shit, careful," Huey hissed between teeth as he yanked her next to him, a lot closer than she had intended.
Huey seemed to notice it as well and he immediately let go of her arm as soon as he made sure she was seated. Jazmine expected him to move away to keep a comfortable enough distance, but he didn't. He was frozen in place, but he didn't look repulsed or stressed by the closeness. That was a good sign.
"Is this okay?" she asked gently, relaxing her back against the window and tentatively making their shoulders and knees touch.
"Yeah," he said, his voice strained but sure enough to tell that he was genuinely fine with it.
She gave him a comforting smile and held out the present in his direction. The wrapping paper was a plain but very dark red color that had reminded her of his eyes and it was very clearly wrapped by an amateur. Not half bad in Jazmine's humble opinion.
Jazmine watched patiently as Huey inspected the gift, not touching it. She wanted to snort at the sheer scrutiny in his face as he stared at it, but she refrained. It must be strange getting a gift after what must've been years and knowing the way Huey's brain worked, he needed time.
Just as her arms were starting to get sore, Huey finally grabbed the gift. Jazmine was suddenly starting to second guess everything as Huey circled the present around to every side. It looked like he was trying to figure out how to deactivate a bomb. Then he began to unwrap it little by little like it could blow up in his face if he didn't do it carefully.
A strip of the paper revealed the title of the book and to say that Huey was surprised was an understatement. Well, his brand of 'surprised' was a slight raise of eyebrows and mouth a bit agape, but compared to his everyday frown, he just saw Khalil Gibran come back to life.
"No fucking way," he said, his voice a little louder than usual, "How– how did you get this?"
Jazmine grinned as Huey ripped the rest of the paper without care, all pretenses and doubts gone. His eyes widened as he read the title of the book again to prove it was real. "Old and new wave: A detailed history of African American economics and politics by Frederick Baraka" hard cover, limited first edition, with author notes and references.
"How the fuck did you get this?" Huey asked again, passing his fingertips through the pristine leather of the spine.
The books were sold out worldwide. Jazmine had helped out Huey during the online pre-sale, staying up all night and early morning glued to two computer screens they had on automatic refresh just for the books to sell out when it finally got to their turn. It was a five year long anticipated book and the author was world-renowned for his incredible analysis. For people that were into those types of subjects, this was the second coming of Jesus for them. Huey had been unbearably bad-tempered the weeks that followed.
To be honest, Jazmine didn't get it. When she was wrapping the book she couldn't help but feel that it was just a book like any other, nothing really special for a birthday present. She even thought about finding something else to go with it, but now she was thankful for sticking to her guns. Maybe she didn't understand it, but Huey clearly did and that was what really mattered.
"The editorial my mom works for partnered up with the printing company of the books and they were one of the first to receive a batch," Jazmine explained, "She once told me they always got more copies than they tell to the public and I managed to snatch one of them. Look," she pointed at the cover, "I even got the author to sign it."
She had never seen Huey move so fast as he did, turning over to the first page to see the very elegant and loopy handwriting of Frederick Baraka himself 'To Huey Freeman, a brilliant mind with a brilliant future to change the world. FR.'
Huey was stunned, there was no other way to put it. His gaze was pinned on the blue tinted message and it seemed like he was holding in his breath. Jazmine fidgeted, waiting for a reaction, and then she got it. And she couldn't believe her eyes.
It was pure child wonderment. Huey smiled, a dazed sigh escaping his broadly stretched lips. When he turned to her, his pupils were blown out and shining with unadulterated joy, making him absolutely glow. Jazmine thinks she fell in love all over again.
This was exactly what a kid should look like on their birthday. Receiving a meaningful gift from someone who cared about them on the rooftop of their house. Huey looked painfully younger, happier, and it made her heart clench. She did this. She made him smile like this.
"I take you liked it?" she teased lightly to push down the knot in her throat.
"I can't believe you got this for me," he said out of breath, gaping at the book in case it had disappeared and then back to her, "This is insane, Jazmine. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Thank you for letting me," she said, hoping he understood what she meant. Something told her he did.
They went back to comforting silence. Huey was mute, which usually happened every time he experienced an overwhelming strong emotion either negative or positive. It was delightful to know it was a positive one for once. Jazmine would normally fill the quietness for both of them, but right now she didn't feel like talking either. She was so glad she took the extra effort to get the book, it hadn't been easy, but it had been so worth it.
After a while, Jazmine put her head on his shoulder, sleepiness creeping in but not quite. She was hyper alert for any little signs of discomfort, ready to back away if Huey didn't want to, but he didn't even tense a muscle. On the contrary, Jazmine could feel him relax into the shape of her, shifting to a position where she didn't have to strain her neck too much, placing the book to the side. That was a good sign.
Still, she had to ask, "Is this okay?"
She could guess the answer but she needed to hear him say it. For once her heartbeat was pleasantly slow and calm, her brain was quiet and her eyelids were starting to drop. Her cheeks tingled against his soft hoodie and her body was warm despite the coldness of the night. Everything felt right.
"Yeah," he said, and Jazmine felt him resting his head on top of her's. They both let out a sigh.