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Dear readers of Read-it

I have never done a blog before so let's hope I am doing this right. Judging from the other blogs I have read on this sub-read-it, those who get it wrong are thoroughly told. Well… this is somewhere I have come thinking I would never be one to write on here, a lurker if you will. But finally… I have a reason to come and ask you for help.

You see, my boyfriend has asked me to marry him.

This is not my problem oh no. If it were I know I would be on an entirely different sub-read-it but here I am, asking for help for my Just No MIL. Oh god, I feel like I may run for the hills as much as I want to kill the cow.

Sorry, I am a little bit emotional. Let me give you the story.

I met Jack two years ago in a coffee shop. My coffee shop in fact. Well, a coffee shop and bookstore. I had turned around to fetch a book from a high shelf for a customer, standing on the second step of the step ladder when I toppled. So unusual as I was always so strong on that thing but today, for some reason I lost my balance and as I fell back, these two strong arms caught me and I found myself in the arms of this… well… Adonis.

Jack is the epitome of gorgeous.

Like, Hollywood handsome, ya know? Right down to a chin cleft. Oh wow. I was star struck and he just stood there holding me like a damsel in distress while the customer snatched the book and scuttled off. I finally came to myself and wriggled to be let down, all flustered and silly as he stood there grinning at me.

"Wow, they are throwing themselves at me now" he said and nearby someone laughed, a woman stepping around the corner of the shelving to look at him and I felt such… well… it was like someone ran my dog over in the street in front of me. I mean, of course he's married. Of course with looks like that he is already taken. Story of my life.

"Come on ya bloody git, we have to get back to work" she scolded, rolling her eyes. "Rhys will have ot find his own bloody Atlas."

Work?

I felt a little resurrection of hope as he pulled a face at her and then thrust out his hand "Jack Harkness, that's my work mate Gwen."

Ah. Good. He made it clear, like he was afraid I might have thought exactly what I DID think.

And that was that.

I gave him my phone number without a second thought and then there we were, dating.

Captain Jack Harkness actually, he's a pilot. Owns his own company flying around high class rich toffs with nothing better to do that go shopping in another city for the afternoon. Good money apparently.

It was three months in before I met his mother and I had such high hopes. After all, I was not his first boyfriend, he was bi like me. But oh boy, her face as she looked me up and down. Oh man, like I was a horse at the auctions. You know?

And that was when I knew she didn't like me.

"He's skinny and…. A bit nerdy for you isn't he Sweetie Darling?" she asked with a syrupy baby voice that made me cringe. Oh god no.

He laughed.

Yeah… one of those mothers where the child does not see the glow of her eyes.

So, anyway. The reason for today's post. Right. Lord help me.

So we have started the wedding preparations and Daphne wants to help. Like, change the flowers, Change the colours. Change the menu. Change the venue. Change the guest list. You get the gist. She wants me to cut half my guests down as it is too expensive, while she wants to add her bloody book Club. Her Book Club. Seriously.

Note… yes I am fully aware that my beloved IS a Mama's boy.

Jack doesn't seem to hear me, so lost in his own preparations with his idiot friend John… that is another story guys… and I am left to deal with this mad cow woman. Any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated.

Well, today is my birthday and for said birthday Jack arranged to fly us to Paris for a romantic meal. It would have been especially romantic as this is how he proposed to me two months ago. At the Paris apartment.

Well, we arrived and who is stood there but…. Yeah. Mama dearest. With that huge shit eating grin that tells the entire world she knows what a cock-block she is. She made out she didn't know he would be there and I now know she has keys to another of his places. This prompts me to blurt out "Do you have keys to ALL his places?"

"Of course, silly boy" she laughs at me in such a Marilyn Monroe way, if Marilyn was old, wrinkly and wearing a terrible wig.

Cue an evening where Jack and her enjoy the food, the wine, the conversation and Muggins here sits to one side with nothing to do in the romantic to spot of our lust.

In the end I went to bed and left them to it, wondering if my book… no. Seems she had 'cleaned up' before we got there and all my things were mysteriously gone. I went to the kitchen and found the book I had left by the bed, my bits of tat from the bedside table and even the fucking photo in a frame of my sister and her kids in there… covered with stuff from the fridge scrapped on top.

The only things I could salvage was my reading glasses still in their case, the frame for the photo which was now soggy, and the trinket box she had not bothered to look inside. Whew. I had my cufflinks in there that Jack got me on our first real date.

So.

As I lay here in the dark listening to my beloved and his Cow Mother… henceforth called COW in the other room I ask you, my fellow readers… would I be a complete AH if I left in the morning and got a ticket home by myself?