11

So my dear readers, I know you have all been pestering me for an update here but things have been pretty good overall. COW seems to have been regrouping with her flying monkeys so I have a bit of space here. Finally our honeymoon period feels like it's beginning with time to enjoy one another without her in the middle.

Even some meals out without her choosing the fucking menu like a child between us… the romance is returning.

Jack is really starting to see her for herself, he is starting to worry about the dementia thing and even listened to her tone when demanding a drink last visit and chastised her. I honestly don't know who got the bigger shock… him or me.

So, thanks all for your support, comments and advice but I think I am OK now.

The baby thing… yes.

Rhiannon is going to surrogate for us, after all it's her egg so her embryo already coated and she carried Mica with no worries after implantation o the same will likely happen here too. I did not point out the fact it will legally be mine, not his but I think that is something I don't have to be pedantic about. After all, Rhiannon's egg, my spunk…. Clearly no Harkness anywhere and Mama talking to Rose about NOT donating eggs was something that worked in my favor, even if the silly old bat did not think that through.

So, I guess I will end this here.

Thanks.

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TWO MONTHS LATER

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So. Hi. Remember me?

Yeah.

So COW has discovered the 'baby' since Jack was a complete tool and went against out agreement not to tell. He said it was an accident. COW happened to be at our place when I was not home… something that was agreed was not to happen anymore…. And happened to accidentally find the scan pictures I had as a bookmark…. What the fuck? What? I do NOT have the three precious photos of Beanie Babies as a bookmark, those were in the back of my diary secreted away.

So…. Yeah. Jack broke the roles, let her in and then I find she is reading my diary, going through my shit and where was Jack while she did all that? Now she is rabid that Baby Harkness-Jones is a boy… another violation as we agreed to tell NO ONE the sex of the two embryos implanted.

We chose a boy and a girl.

Clearly COW only heard the boy part and was already screeching so didn't' know it was a two-for deal or since the second one is a girl she chose it ignore it. Either way… clearly Jack spilled his guts and was so relived to have told mummy as he hates secrets from her.

I am still at work and I am holding the phone so tightly I might crush it, for sure my hand will be sore later.

So. Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I am just so damned angry right now I might cry.

I better ring Rhiannon and warn her that the Witch is on her broomstick… or the COW has broken out of the field… or whatever.

I don't' know what to say to Jack. How to treat to this. All I know is that I need to take a moment or two before then or I might gut him like a fish.

Pray for me… or maybe you should pray for him because I am in a fry pan to head kinda mood.

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UPDATE

Well. Things did not go well and I am writing this from my sister's spare room.

Jack was intentionally lying to me and became clear to me that he not only told his mother… he did so with no reason. She did NOT go through my things, I watched the CCTV footage of her entering, then sitting for a chat and him flourishing the photos at her with glee.

He wantonly told her all about HIS babies… already referred to as HER BABIEEEE

I am beyond pissed and so upset that once I saw the footage, I left the store and went home to confront him only to find her there rearranging the spare room into a nursery. She had ripped up carpet… god she is strong for an old girl and was telling Jack the color theme to paint, even had some fucking pictures on her phone of the prefect boy's bassinette…."We will need two of everything so when I have him he has the same things" like it's some sort of given that she will raise our son.

I lost my shit.

I am not proud of myself but I totally lost my shit and she won.

She cried into his chest as he comforted her and told me I was a fucking arsehole for doing that when mummy is trying to help, that this is all my fault for trying to keep something too important from her and then he had the gall to tell me I needed to apologize to her.

To HER.

Packman does not even begin to cover the immense anger that started to rumble about in my very soul.

So I left.

I turned on my heel and flounced out of there, and am here at Rhiannon's with the kids overjoyed to get a sleepover date with me. I actually feel bad as I did not realize how little time I spent with them lately and as I sit watching the CCTV footage of Jack and his mother cuddled in our fucking bed sleeping like it's normal for a grown arsed man and his bitch mother to share a bed… I don't know.

Instead of going home she stayed to comfort him… what the fuck. Now I am a little repulsed.

I don't know what to do now.

I feel so… stupid.

He was never going to change was he? She was never going to step back and let up was she? I was the one Dick Trapped all along. I was the fucking idiot.

I am the fool here.

Maybe she is the COW but what am I?

A stray dog back in the gutter where he found me… at least that was the text she sent not long ago informing me.

Maybe she's right. Maybe it's time to break. After all… what am I fighting for if he is not fighting too?

Goodnight.