Fall of the Infinite Empire
Chapter 17
Za-Hell stood watch over the human female he had brought to Zhed-Hai's apartments that morning. He had been ordered to bring her and wait with her until Zhed-Hai's arrival, and so he did. Guarding slaves was, he supposed, all that a one-eyed warrior was good for. He further supposed that he should feel grateful to Zhed-Hai for the fact that he had a place at all, even if it was not particularly dignified. But Za-Hell could not bring himself to feel gratitude towards the Elder for giving him a role in society despite his disfigurement, when it was Zhed-Hai himself who had disfigured him. He reminded himself, when he was taken by feelings of bitterness that he had brought it on himself. He had tried to show off in front of the other warriors and had killed one of the humans. It had been such an absurd thing to do. What reason was there for him to care what the other guards thought? They were all like him, unimportant. He found he could not even really remember their names. Yet for their esteem he had killed one of the humans and then, worst yet, lied about it. And his punishment was to be not just the loss of his eye, but also this extended period of groveling to continue in his position in Zhed-Hai's guard detachment. All so he could enjoy a lifetime of insignificant tasks like watching this human sit in a chair.
'What was he watching her for?' Za-Hell wondered. What was she going to do? All the humans were small, but the females were smaller than the males, and those who came out of the caves were smaller than the pale ones who lived in the open. This one he recognized as one of those taken in the last few days, the last captives taken now that Za-Hell thought of it. From that thought he moved quickly to the realization that she was the one Zhed-Hai had taken with him on the trip back to Lehon, and among the group that had witnessed his punishment at Zhed-Hai's hands on the shattered surface of Tatooine. And then Za-Hell wondered what the human he had killed had been to her. A friend? Family? A child? And if he remembered her, then surely she remembered what he had done. And missing an eye as he was there was no way she could fail to know him, despite the general inability of humans to tell the differences between Rakatans. This understanding gave Za-Hell a new perspective on the human's silence since he had brought her here. She was, he realized, sitting there hating him. Za-Hell knew that a strong Rakatan would not care about such things. The feelings of a slave did not merit consideration, but if one considered them at all, hatred ought to be met by hatred. But Za-Hell felt no hatred. He could not help but think about the fact that she had probably loved the human he had killed. And when he thought about that, he thought about the look in his mother's eyes when she had seen his disfigurement. No, he thought to himself. They do not feel as we do, these little monsters crawling around in caves. Barely more than animals, spending their short lives gnawing on fungus and rats, drinking from scummy cave ponds. Perhaps she felt sad the young one died, but she did not feel that terror and helplessness he had seen in his mother's eyes. Could any being without the Gift feel such empathy for another? And certainly the humans were born without the Gift.
"Are we?" whispered a voice in Za-Hell's head. Involuntarily he took a step backwards, away from the human who still sat motionless in front of him. Za-Hell could not remember what the woman's voice sounded like, but he could not escape the feeling that the voice in his head had sounded like her. Had he imagined it? He must have. The alternative was that this human was able to hear his thoughts and respond to him. The alternative was that she had the Gift. How could she have the Gift? They didn't have it. But what was that voice? Why would he imagine her voice in his head? After all he knew she didn't have the Gift, so if he was going to imagine her speaking, why didn't he imagine her actually speaking?
Myra sat silently while Za-Hell's mind raced over these thoughts. She sat still and silent as the door opened and Zhed-Hai strode into the room. The Rakatan Elder swiftly motioned with his right hand for Za-Hell to leave. When Za-Hell, who had missed the directive while lost in thought, did not leave, Zhed-Hai stopped and turned to look at the guard. This caught Za-Hell's attention and, after mumbling an apology, he quickly left the room. Zhed-Hai watched the door close behind him before finishing the walk to his chair, located on the far end of the room from the entrance. Myra's own far less grand looking chair was placed so that she had been staring at Zhed-Hai's seat which, unlike her own, floated in the air. When he sat down at it lights that had previously been hidden in the arms of the chair clicked on. All around him holographic images popped into existence, until it looked as though the Rakatan sat in a cylinder of images and information. Myra remembered being shocked by the appearance of those lights in the air the first time it had happened. She had nearly jumped out of her seat. Now, after many meetings in this room, it was another marvel she had grown used to. With a swipe of Zhed-Hai's clawed hand most of the images disappeared, leaving only a few to his right and left that did not interfere with his ability to look directly at Myra.
"You should not frighten the boy so," Zhed-Hai chided her.
"He should not kill my family," Myra responded flatly.
"I do not mean that you have no reason to do it, I mean that it is impractical. I have not announced to Council that your kind have the ability to use the Gift."
"Can't the guards see us through the glass?"
"Some of them can, yes," Zhed-Hai answered, "Those who are stationed on the proper levels, but most of my staff do not watch you, and those that do have been chosen carefully. Za-Hell is not yet fully acclimated to my service, and he does not always stay in the compound."
"If you are concerned with our safety, I don't know why you are trying to acclimate him to your service," Myra answered with some sarcasm.
Zhed-Hai smiled, knowing that the gesture, coming from a Rakatan, was off-putting to human beings. Myra liked to test her limits with him. There had been no way to conceal from her that she had a special place among the humans he kept here on Lehon, but why she was special was something he had not shared with her, not fully anyway. He imagined that her insistence on pushing the boundaries of acceptable behavior was an attempt to figure out how special, how indispensable, she was to him and his purposes, and so to learn from that why she mattered so much. And while he could not help that her impudence angered him, he also could not help but be amused and delighted with her subtlety.
Myra, either uncomfortable or bored with Zhed-Hai's silence followed up her comment with a question, "What would happen if this Council found out about us? Before you tell them I mean?"
"It would spoil certain plans, and force me to make new ones. Nothing catastrophic, but it would add difficulties that are unnecessary and perhaps force me to use resources to adapt which I would rather use elsewhere." Zhed-Hai gave this non-answer in part to pay Myra back for her disrespect. It would not do to leave it entirely un-responded to, after all.
"Will we be in danger if it happens?"
"No," Zhed-Hai answered. "The process of revealing your status to them has already begun. I would not have brought you here, with so many curious, prying eyes, if it were not safe."
"Well he only has the one," Myra said dryly.
This did make Zhed-Hai chuckle, which sounded to Myra like a hiss. But the feeling behind the hiss was not a mystery to her, since Zhed-Hai chose not to hide it from her. Myra's ability to connect with the minds of others was perhaps the strongest aspect of her Gift. It had been the first of her abilities to develop quickly under Zhed-Hais tutelage and it was far in excess of what any other human could do. It was stronger even than most Rakatans. All Rakatans closed their minds off to some extent from others. In a world full of low-grade telepaths it was of course quite necessary to erect such mental barriers. But most Rakatans did not walk around with defenses sufficient to keep out true adepts, a level Myra was fast approaching, and most of them would unconsciously let their guard down around what they considered lesser races.
"I am sure you are curious as to why I have had you brought here," Zhed-Hai said.
"Time for another one of our chats?" Myra said off-handedly.
"This meeting will be a bit different than the others. It is I who have questions for you."
As their previous meetings having consisted, other than training exercises, mostly of Zhed-Hai giving, in response to Myra's questions, the smallest bits of information wrapped in infuriating wordplay, this apparent change of pace worried Myra. Despite the fact that her curiosity was piqued, along with her anxiety, Myra kept to her strategy of offering nothing to the Rakatan unbidden. So she sat in silence, awaiting the questions. Better to let him ask them than to tip her hand somehow by trying to anticipate them.
"You have stopped spending time with the northern population group. Why is that?"
"You mean Halvor's group?" Myra asked, knowing full well who was meant.
"As that population group predates his arrival I do not think of it that way, but yes, the group Halvor has taken over."
"My family is here now," Myra answered carefully.
"Young as your offspring still are I anticipated that they would remain a priority for you, but that would not prevent you from maintaining your connections to the northerners, or to Halvor. It is your retaining of your mate from Tatooine that seems to be the primary obstacle."
After vainly waiting a few moments for Myra to answer Zhed-Hai continued, "You have chosen your mate from Tatooine…"
"Tytus," Myra interrupted.
"Yes, Tytus. You have chosen that relationship over the ones you were forming with the northerners. Why?"
"I did that a long time ago," Myra said.
Zhed-Hai looked down, holding back the barbed reply that sprang quickly to mind. His relationship with Myra was developing at a frustratingly slow pace. He knew she did not trust him and that she looked on him still as an enemy. It was only natural that she should do so. Cutting remarks on his part would do no good, but he was not used to hiding his disappointment.
"Your response does not make sense Myra."
"I chose Tytus before I ever met you or the northerners. I made a life with him, I made a family with him. They are here now. There is no further choice to make," Myra said with more resolution than she felt.
"That past decision did not seem operative in the first few weeks of your time here."
Myra's jaw clenched and slowly unclenched before answering, "No."
"So that at least changed."
"Nothing changed," Myra spat back. "I was alone. I had no idea whether I would ever see my family again…"
"I told you they were on their way…"
"What reason did I have to believe a word you said?" Myra was leaning forward in her chair now and yelling, unaware perhaps of the uniqueness of her position. No other being on this planet could yell at Zhed-Hai and expect to live past the end of their meeting. "You hunted us, kidnapped us, killed one of us, then took me away from my family so that we could talk about nonsense that I still don't understand, and then you expect me to trust you?"
Zhed-Hai nodded, "I see that your mistrust was rational given your information, but the fact remains that you were…involved with the northerners before your family arrived, and it would have been beneficial for that to continue."
Myra leaned back in her chair, wondering for a moment what was behind the Old Man's delicacy in describing what had happened between her and Halvor, before answering, "Beneficial for who?"
"For you, for your children, for your people."
"How is that?"
"Halvor has many qualities which make him an effective leader, but he also has certain limitations, limitations you are well suited to compensate for. This would benefit all your people on Lehon, not just the northerners. There is no reason for your people to be broken up into…"
"I mean how does it benefit my family," Myra asked impatiently.
Zhed-Hai noticed what he was sure was Myra's intentional inclusion of Tytus despite Zhed-Hai's equally intentional exclusion of him. If part of her problem with him was a lack of trust then he was going to have to be conspicuously honest with her, so he refused to go along with her elision. "Your position, and so the position of your children cannot but be improved if you are recognized as the leader of your people. They will be safer. They will in turn have a future in leadership among subsequent generations of this population."
"What danger do they face here, with your guards and machines?" Myra asked, knowing the answer already, but not wishing to give an inch to Zhed-Hai.
"My guards and machines do not catch everything, not in time to deal with it, and as I have told you, this place is not your final destination," Zhed-Hai answered.
"Why would anyone want to hurt my family? They have no reason to do so, but they might, if we had a position of leadership they wanted."
Zhed-Hai shook his head while saying, "You have made your strength obvious to them. It took my droids days to fully re-assemble Usment's bones. None of them challenge Halvor any longer, and none of them will challenge you, if you choose to join him."
"They have no reason to challenge me if I am not the leader, for then I have nothing they want."
"That is not the source of the danger. It is not as though you have no connection to the northerners. You have your…connection with Halvor and you entered their ritual competition. I will note that your entry, your victory, and your subsequent refusal to participate is destabilizing for them. What you have done is not done where they come from." Zhed-Hai discussed the northerners with Myra with a kind of anthropological detachment that Myra found off-putting, given that she had to live with them.
"You think Halvor is a danger to my children?" Myra asked, an edge of anger in her voice.
Zhed-Hai sat back, considering the question. "I am not sure. That is not what I meant to warn you about. He certainly is a danger to your current mate. It is quite likely he will try to find a way to kill him. Some creatures will try to kill the pre-existing offspring of a desired mate, but I do not have sufficient data to tell whether that is true of your species. It is a worry however… If he does attempt that it will become necessary to put him down. I do not wish to see your offspring harmed."
"How nice of you to say! I am glad my children can count on such affections," Myra said, emphasizing his refusal to include Tytus.
Zhed-Hai ignored her anger. "Of course I trust that if he makes the attempt then you will dispatch him effectively before my guards, or I, have to become involved. It is to avoid such an outcome that I brought you here today. Just as I wish your children to live, I wish Halvor to live. I will say that I also would like you and Halvor to have offspring."
Myra's anger was too much for her to yell. She had trouble forming the words. If she had not lived in caves her entire life she likely would have been able to tell that she was being spoken about as though she were livestock or a pet to be bred, and expressed her outrage in those terms. But Myra had spent her life in a cave seeing only rats and insects. However, the example was not necessary for her to feel the indignation at the topic Zhed-Hai was blithely broaching.
When she got her anger under control she responded, "Who I have children with is not something you get a say in."
"I am sorry Myra, but of course it is. It is too important an issue for me not to be involved in. This is true especially as I know you do not understand the importance of the issue. I have explained to you that you are unique. It is important that you do not remain unique. It is important that there are others who carry your power into the future. It is not clear that any of your current offspring will be able to do that."
"It is my life; they are my children. This is my choice to make."
"Why should it be your choice to make, if you are going to make the wrong one?"
Myra gritted her teeth. She had yet to find a way through Zhed-Hai's condescension.
"You do not know that it is the wrong choice."
"Halvor has the Gift to a greater degree than does Tytus. The Gift is not perfectly heritable, but there is a strong connection between the strength of the parents and the strengths of the children. Your children are quite unlikely to be as gifted as you are, for example."
"And what about my parents? I don't recall them being gifted," she pushed back, the last word uttered disdainfully.
"The Gift emerged only recently in your people. The process of its emergence is complex and difficult to understand. Indeed until recently no one thought it was possible. It requires more study…"
"I don't care!" Myra interrupted. "Forget I brought up my parents. It doesn't matter whether they had this…this gift, because it doesn't matter whether my children have it…"
"They do," Zhed-Hai interjected quickly. "All of them."
Myra took a deep breath before continuing, "or whether I would have stronger children with Halvor. I didn't have my children so they would be strong. I had children because I wanted to be a mother, because I wanted to make a family with Tytus."
"That is not why," Zhed-Hai responded cooly.
Once again on the edge of speechlessness, Myra managed, with a look of incredulity, to ask "How could you think you could know that? You didn't know a thing about me before I had my children."
"I do not need to," he replied without missing a beat. "You had children for the same reason every organism has children, because it is necessary for the continuance of your species. I do not mean that you were thinking about this when you chose to mate with Tytus. What you were thinking has very little to do with why you did what you did. Please don't be insulted," Zhed-Hai attempted to take on as friendly a tone as he could as he said this, but it was hard for a Rakatan to make sounds that were pleasing to humans. "I do not mean to insult you or your species. What I say is true of almost every organism in the universe. We have fundamental drives, because that is what it takes for our species to continue. It is why we are there in the first place. But we will tell ourselves stories about why we do what we do, and most of us tell those stories in ignorance of what really drives us, of the real point to our behavior."
"Well then I have done my part, haven't I? I have made my contribution to the survival of my people."
"You have, yes. But those of us who can take a more enlightened view of things can come to appreciate truths that go beyond the brute desires we are born with. Some of us matter to our species in ways that others of us don't. You have more to contribute than just children. Any female of your species can do that. Your gift sets you apart from the rest of them. And if you do not take steps to preserve it then it could very well disappear in a few generations, to the detriment of your species. You had your children with Tytus to carry your people forward, and now I am telling you that the best thing for your people would be to mate with Halvor."
Myra looked away before replying, "There is more to our lives than that. We aren't here just to…breed."
Zhed-Hai looked at Myra in a way that she would, if she had been able to read his expression, known was sad. "Yes," he said softly, "there is. I am not saying you would not be making a sacrifice Myra, I am saying your sacrifice is necessary, if your people are going to have their best chance to survive."
"Why do you care whether my people survive?"
"Well it would be such a lot of work to lose. I have spent a great deal of time on your people."
"Sorry to be so disappointing," Myra said bitterly.
Zhed-Hai paused in thought again. He was pushing too hard, he realized. She was particularly sensitive about this issue. Something more would have to happen to get her to see the strength of the reasons in favor of a union with Halvor, and Zhed-Hai would have to wait for whatever that event would be. And while Zhed-Hai was patient, he knew that he lacked control over the amount of time left in which he could safely act. But he would have to trust that the universe would unfold in the way he wished, as it so often had before.
"You are not a disappointment to me Myra. Indeed you cannot appreciate the joy I felt when first I saw you…"
"You hid it well."
Zhed-Hai buried the hint of annoyance he felt at being interrupted, before continuing, "…It was the fulfillment of hopes I had held since long before you were born. You do not understand your importance, yours, and your people. Even Tytus has a role to play, weakly Gifted as he is. Indeed, he will join me soon for a vital task. I thought, given your expressions of affection for him, it was best to tell you before it happened."
Myra rocked back and forth in her chair almost imperceptibly while she looked at Zhed-Hai.
"What are you going to do to him?"
"Oh nothing at all I assure you."
"So I deny you what you want by staying with my family and what, you take them away again?" she asked, desperation in her voice.
Zhed-Hai was now growing frustrated at Myra's intransigence, and so snapped back quickly, "It was by my actions that your family was brought here at all. If I wanted, I could have ensured that you did not waste your time with Tytus. If I had wanted to you would have no family at all but the one you could make here. I did not do that. I brought your mate here, and your children with him. I could have left them on Tatooine."
Myra thought of asking why he didn't leave all of them on Tatooine, leave them all in the caves, but that line of questioning had ended in nothing but riddles and cryptic remarks every time she tried it.
"Maybe you are used to getting what you want, and didn't expect me to reject Halvor."
"You didn't reject Halvor if you recall."
"Well then you had your chance at offspring didn't you? And it didn't take, so here we are. I will remain with Tytus and my children, and if you do anything to him or them I will…"
"You will what, Myra?" Zhed-Hai interrupted, his annoyance getting the better of him.
In the silent moment that followed Myra steeled herself to say what she knew she needed to say. There was only one thing he seemed to care about, and that was the thing she needed to threaten.
"I will kill every last one of my people in this facility. I will wipe out your breeding stock, and whatever plans you have for us will be done," she said, as coldly as she could manage. The worst thing for Myra was not saying such a terrible thing, but the fact that after she made the threat that she felt she might actually be capable of carrying it out.
If Myra thought that Zhed-Hai would be enraged by this threat she was wrong. He stared at her intently, but his thoughts and feelings were now entirely blocked from her. Whatever passing access he had been granting to her was gone. Whatever the content of his thoughts, he wanted them kept from her. If she had been able to push through his defenses she would have found him thinking that she was very nearly perfect.
"You will do no such thing Myra. Not for Tytus. If I take Tytus from you then you will hate me, but not enough. Not enough to kill those people. You won't hate enough to watch the light leave their eyes, to feel their spirits dissolve," Zhed-Hai stood from his chair as he continued speaking, "as you break their bodies with your own hands. You would live hating me, but you would not kill them. You would only do that if I took your children."
As Zhed-Hai said these things Myra could feel his presence in her mind, rooting around through her soul. She knew that he was right, both that she was capable of such things, and that Tytus' death would not drive her to such extremes.
"You are, after all, a mother. There are furies and horrors within you, placed there over millions of years by evolution, to protect your children. As I said there are deep-seated drives in each species, and I know what they are," Zhed-Hai rubbed a spot on the side of his face as he said this, and for the first time Myra noticed what looked like the hint of a scar.
"But fear not, you do not need that threat to be plausible for me to refrain from killing your Tytus. I have no intention of hurting him, but I have a task he is well suited for."