Addison Sinclair, former army ranger, now works on squad 3 in her hometown of chicago.
She was madly in love with the one and only Jay Halstead. Things happened between them, they broke up, then he got discharged from the army, and came back to chicago. Addison, also known as Addi, fell for her Sergeant in the rangers. Mike Powers, after jay left. Then Mike died in the line of duty three years ago now and she's just had one night stands as she feels that everyone leaves her one way or another.
—--
Jay Halstead thought Addi was it for him then they broke up and he left the rangers and dealt with his PTSD. He met Erin but it's been two years since Erin left for New York without even a goodbye, and he wants to move on. Hailey Upton, his best friend and partner, has been showing signs of being interested but he's not. He doesn't want to date his partner or someone he works with, again.
—--
It's a warm june evening after a long shift when Jay Halstead walks into Molly's.
He goes up to the bar to order a scotch from Hermann, that's when his world turns on its axis. He hears her before he sees her.
"Herman, another Jack Daniel's please." Addison says.
Jay takes in a sharp breath before he walks up beside her at the bar, then leans his side on it as he looks at her from head to toe. Shes as beautiful as ever in a beautiful white shirt that has flowy short sleeves, its skin tight with a V going right down until it tucks into her skin tight black leather leggings. She's wearing black strappy opened toed high heel shoes.
He hasn't seen her in 8 years but she's still as beautiful as ever.
Jays broke out of his thoughts when she speaks.
"Are you just gonna stare at me all night, or are you actually going to speak?" Addi says as she whips her head around and her medium length blonde curls fly over her shoulder. That's when Jay's green eyes meet her oven blue ones.
"Well, I was enjoying the view, but I guess I'll speak as well." Jay says with his signature smirk, making both of them laugh as Herman brings up their drinks.
"It's good to see you Jay, I was wondering how long I'd be home for before I ran into you." Addi says downing her Jack Daniel's, making Jay chuckle, she could always drink him under the table.
"Its good to see you to Addi, how long have you been in town for?" Jay asks as Herman and Otis kinda just stare at the pair.
"Six months, but started at my job at firehouse 51 three weeks ago." Addi explained.
"Ahh so that's why those two are staring." Jay says finally making eye contact with Otis and Herman, the latter holding his hands up in surrender.
"Yes, I work with them. How do you know them?" Addi asks, accepting a beer from Herman.
"I work over at the 21st district, I'm a detective in the intelligence unit." Jay takes a swig of his own drink then continues by saying, "I've worked some cases with these guys. "
Addi whistles , "A detective, making use of some of your talents I see." Addi says winking at Jay, who chuckles and shakes his head.
"Yea I guess I am." He says as otis finally pipes up and asks "So how do you two know each other?"
"We were in the rangers together. We did three tours together, and I went on to do three more after Jay left." Addi explained.
"You were in the rangers too?" Otis asked Addi, who nods as she takes a swig of beer. Jay looks at addi shocked "you did three more tours after I left? He asks.
"Yep, now I'm on squad 3 at 51." Addison says.
"Ahh you're under Kelly severide."
"Yea, he seems to be a great Lieutenant. " Addi says. By now Herman and Otis have moved on to other patrons and jay gestures for himself and Addi to move to a table, which they do.
They catch up and it feels like nothings changed between the two, even after all this time.
There's a lull in the idle chit chat when Jay asks "So, you currently dating anyone?" With that smirk of his.
Addi downs the rest of her fourth beer and shakes her head 'no' then says "Nope, I was dating Sargent Mike powers for a while after you left but he died in the line of duty three years ago now." Addi explains
Jay gives her a soft look then says "I'm sorry."
Addi shrugs her shoulders, saying "it's okay, but thank you. What about you? You must have some lucky women by now?" Addi hopes she's wrong but she doubts it. Jays to perfect to be single.
"Nah, I'm single. I was dating my sargents daughter for a few years but she left to be with the FBI two years ago now, been single ever since." Jay explained, downing his 4th beer as well.
Addie whistles then says "sargents daughter? Really that must've been interesting. I can't believe your single though, you're too good of a catch to be single for that long." They both chuckle as Jay shakes his head saying "nah, I guess I was waiting for the right women." Jay reaches out to take Addis hand in his own. They both feel the sparks fly, they always had good chemistry.
"I've missed you Addie, I really thought you were gonna be the one for me…" Jay says looking into her ocean blue eyes, she smiles softly, sighing and says "I've missed you to Jay, and for what it's worth I thought you were the one for me too. Im sorry how things went between us and how they ended." Addi says.
She remembers that day in the desert all to well.
Flashback 8 years ago. June 10th 2010
"Jay!" Addi yells as she follows him out of the med tent.
"What Addison." Jay says sighing rubbing a hand over his face. They just got back from a mission and Addi had had a close call if Jay wouldn't of been the sniper and shot the guy, addie wouldn't be here right now.
"Jay you can't get pissed at me every time I do my job." She says reaching for him, trying to calm him down. He moves away from the touch, which hurts Addi more than she's willing to admit.
"Addi, I can't do this, I can't see the love of my life in the line of danger, I just can't. I'm sorry." Jay says as he storms off.
————-
Then two days later he sees her making out with a guy in the med tent. He didn't mean that it was over he was scared and angry. But the fact she moved on so quickly hurt him to his core..
End of flashback.
——-
"You know I didn't mean that we were over, I was angry and hurt, I needed space but then I saw you making out with Charlie two days later and I was hurt, so when the Humvee exploded I thanked my lucky stars that you were on base and I took the discharge and left. And I'm sorry for not talking to you and for not fighting
For you, I'm sorry." Jay explained.
Addi gasps then says,
"Wait, you didn't mean we were over?" Jay shakes his head no. Now she's kicking herself in the ass for not talking to him and just jumping on Charlie.
"I'm sorry, too." Addi says in a quiet voice.
"You know I only kissed Charlie to get back at you. It was childish and a huge mistake and I wish I would've never done it."
Jay sighs, saying "we were never good and communication."
Addi snorts, saying "isn't that the truth, you know when the humvee exploding I watched and I was so scared, I was terrified I had lost you for good. Then when your voice came over the comms saying you and mouse were the only survivors and hurt, I raced to another humvee and went to save you. I know I wasn't the main medic but i didn't care i needed to save you. So i patched you up and got you stable to go to Germany, I wanted to go with you but powers wouldn't let me said I needed to stay they needed me as i sniper now that you were out of commission. I hated every second of it."
"I didn't know or remember. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone." Jay says
"Its okay, for what it's worth I'm sorry too." Addi says with a tear escaping her eyes.
"It's alright it's in the past, maybe- I hope we can move past the past though and maybe try again?" Jay asks
Addi sighs, saying "everyone leaves me Jay, one way or another, I'm damaged goods, you don't want to be with me, trust me." She says downing a shot Stella just brought them.
Jays shocked to say the least, he never wanted Addi to feel like this, like everyone leaves. He knows about her childhood and how she was raised in foster care and the army was an escape from her past. He loves her so much even after all this time.
"Addi, I never meant for you to feel like that, and your not damaged goods, not to me. You're so precious to me. I've loved you for the last 12 years and that's never going to change." Jay says.
Addi is reluctant to believe him, but it's Jay and she still loves him. She doesn't know what to do.
"Jay-" she's interrupted by jays phone. It's hank..
"Damn it." Jay says
He sees the text saying they caught a case and he needs to meet the team at the scene.
"Listen Addi I gotta go it's my boss, we caught a case, can I get your number though?" He explained and asks.
Addi hides the disappointment and nods and puts her number in jays phone as he does the same with her phone.
"I meant what I said though Addi, I'll always love you. Just think about giving us another shot, ok?" Jay pleads with her. She reluctantly nods and he kisses her hair then heads to the bar to get a bottle of water from Herman then heads to his truck and heads to the scene.
Addi really wants to believe him and be with him again, but she's scared. She downs another beer. Kelly severide comes over and sits down placing a shot in front of "looks like you needed this." The Lieutenant says she nods her thanks as she downs it.
"Thanks I did." She says
"Stella sent me over shes busy at the bar but saw you might need a friend, I'm good at listening if you need to talk." Kelly explained.
"Thanks Lieutenant. But I dont want to dump my baggage on you." Addison says sighing.
"Its fine, so how do you know Jay?" He asks trying to get her to open up without realizing it.
"We were in the rangers together. Dated for the first five years then broke up over a stupid misunderstanding. Then his humvee hit a landmine and he got discharged. I'm the one that saved him though." Addison explained.
"Wow, didn't realize. I knew you were in the rangers from your file, but that was all I knew." Kelly explained.
"Yea, God even after all this time I still love him. But it's just too complicated." She explained.
"Why?" Kelly asks as stella brings them over another shot and Addison a Jack Daniel's. She doesn't interrupt thoughts Addison says "my childhood was complicated to say the least, I grew up in the system, I escaped to the army when I was 17 where I meet Jay. I thought he was the one and he'd never leave. But I was wrong. Everyone leaves me. She mumbles the last part Into her Jack Daniel's as she tosses it back her throat, welcoming the familiar burn.
"I'm sorry that you went through all that. But if I can give you any advice its this: if he still loves you and you still love him, dont wait or waste time, tomorrow's never guaranteed in our lines of work, but dont settle either, if he wants you bad enough he will prove it, just dont be stuck so much on the past, it cant be changed, but the future can." Kelly says and stella smiles at the wisdom her husband just gave her best friend, she kiss his check then says."Kelly's right. Give it a shot and see what happens, but if you dont try you'll never forgive your self. Trust me." Stella says smiling g softly at her bestfriend.
"Tha is guys I appreciate the advice and words of wisdom. I'm gonna grab an uber and head home now though." Addison says hugging Stella.
"No problem anytime." Severide says.
—--
Addi gets home and thinks about everything as she gets changed, what if kelly and stella are right? But what if their wrong and she gets heart broken again. She doesn't think she could survive that.
She changes in an old army shirt and a thong and heads to bed.
——
Jays lost in his thoughts most of the night.
Haliey asks him what's wrong but he just brushes her off. He goes and finds mouse in the tech room as he's been back for a year now.
Jay sets beside his best friend and sighs as he runs a hand over his face.
"Hey you ok?" Mouse asks
"No, Addi is back in Chicago, she works over on squad three out of firehouse 51. I saw her earlier and we talked. I told her I wanted to give us another shot, but she thinks everyone leaves her and she's too damaged for me." Jay explained, mouses eyes get wider with each sentence but he listens then says
"You really hurt her when you guys broke up."
Jay sighs then says "I know, but I didn't mean we were over and then two days later she was all over Charlie, that hurt. It was just a big misunderstanding."
Mouse chuckles and shakes his head, "you two were always shit at communicating." Mouse says, which is try they where.
Jay sighs with his head in his hands as he says "I know, but if everything with Erin taught me anything it's how to be better at communicating."
Mouse nods then says "why don't you woo her? show her you have grown up and changed for the better? Take her flowers, breakfast, whatever just show her you still care."
Jay nods, then says "I don't know where she lives though."
Mouse scoff then says "I can find that out in a matter of seconds."
Mouse goes to work at finding Addie's address as Jay says "thanks mouse I appreciate the advice and help."
"No problem, you know I'd do anything for you guys." Mouse says handing Jay a piece of paper with Addis address on it.
"Thanks, we just closed this case. It's just paperwork now I'm gonna see if I can head out." Jay explains, Mouse nods, then says "good luck man." Jay nods and heads out to find Voight.
Voight agrees and lets the whole team go.
Hailey tries to catch up with Jay.
"Hey you wanna go grab some breakfast?" She asks
Jay shakes his head, saying "No I got plans sorry."
He jumps into his truck and heads out to Addis .
———
Addi is woken to loud banging on her door.
She groans and looks at her clock. 8am, who the hell is waking her up on her day off?
She gets out of bed and goes to the door as the banging continues.
"Keep your panties on, I'm coming." She yells.
She opens the door to Jay there with breakfast, cofffee and a bouquet of her favorite flowers, tulips.
"Jay? What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?" She asks as she stares at Jay.
"I had Mouse look it up for me, and I wanted to show you that I've changed and to show you how much you mean to me still, after all this time…" Jay explained.
"Mouse is here in Chicago? And I appreciate this, I really do." Addi says with a smile.
"Yea he works as our tech guy in the intelligence unit and I'm glad, so can I come in?" Jay asks….