A/N: Before I start off this fic, I'd like to say this IS my first fan fic so criticism is greatly appreciated, unless it's just random toxic shit, then uh, no. This One-shot will be fully in Yukino's POV. Anyway, Enjoy! I guess.

Now only, does she feel the weights she brushed off to be limiting in the race

I have been having this feeling lately, as if I am in a race for something important but what it is, I am not sure. I have made friends with Yuigahama-san and Isshiki-san over this school year, Hikigaya-kun too however much of an annoying person he may be, though I will not tell him myself that I thought of us as friends of course. But, still the competitive part of me is flaring up over something, telling me that I should not lose to these 2 over something.

These two have been bothering me as usual, Today they invited me over to a café, Strangely I cannot find it in myself to say no to the both of them, so I let them drag me along to where they wanted to go, on the way there they… started talking about Hikigaya-kun?. Oh My, Hikigaya-kun, it seems your peers actually respect you for managing to pull off the Christmas Event. With our help, But I digress.

However, for some reason my heart is aching for no reason. I try to quell it, but it seems to be getting worse by the second. They have switched over to a different subject, but the lingering feeling is still there, I think about me for some reason while the 3 of us walk side by side to the café as I exchange words to the ten thousand word conversation they sometimes include me in.

I for one know my personality was not exactly ideal, Hikigaya-kun let me know about it, Courtesy of him. That however made me want to change for some reason, was it to be appealing to him?. No no no. That must not be it. After all, His eyes are comparable to a rotten dead fish, His personality is the absolute worst and- … Nothing else? W-what has happened to me?. I suddenly feel like I can not insult him any more or I may feel sad about it. That has never happened before, What is the difference here? I feel myself start to blush and manage to get my mind off of it before I get back to the topic.

I have been feeling suffocated lately, and my movements just feel heavier and heavier with each passing day, I do not feel sick as I keep my health up in shape unlike that one time. But it is with them, and when they talk about Hikigaya-kun that I start to feel this way.

Isshiki-san is our kouhai, whom many girls see as an enemy as she is beautiful, cute and she knows this. As such, her personality is built off of her beauty and cuteness as people see it. But to Hikigaya-kun she shows her real self at times. Is it due to Hikigaya-kun being just worthless that she thinks that she can relax around him or is it something more? That, I am not sure of.

Yuigahama-san is my first friend. Whom, I thought was annoying as she was airheaded, But she really is a nice girl. Her air headedness is a part of her personality, of which I also think is cute in a sense. She joined this club around the time Hikigaya-kun did though severely delayed as she did not give a letter of Intent. I recognized her from the Incident a year ago. She was a constant reminder of how I could never tell Hikigaya-kun I was sorry for the accident, But knowing him he would downplay it and I would wonder what point there was talking to him about it in the first place. Hence, why I withdrew this information.

I have noticed I have been thinking of Hikigaya-kun lately, and all these symptoms of sorts that I have been having are indirectly related to Hikigaya-kun, Not to mention the competitive side of me wanting to win something too which could be related to Hikigaya-kun.

It dawns on me as I manage to connect the dots together, I feel as if I can not believe it. Me? Chasing after something that I thought I had cast away years ago? I do not believe myself and what I just had come to a conclusion to. However, it explains everything. And the weight I feel nowadays, must be related to me. Something bad about me that could be changed to keep my momentum in the so called race I am willingly participating in. But I feel as if I should not be here, I feel as if I do not deserve Hikigaya-kun. That would only do bad to Yuigahama-san who had told me about her love to Hikigaya-kun just some months ago.

But I realize something else, I willingly participate in this race to what I feel could change someone for the better. I have been feeling awkward around Hikigaya-kun for some time, I thought it was because of what had transpired in the Clubroom but it appears not to be, Every time Hikigaya-kun talks to me or I talk to him, I feel giddy and happy but end up embarrassed and unable to reply to him. I feel this as a disadvantage to myself. I shake my head, This is a race that I can not hold back in. After all, I hate to lose. And I can not allow myself to lose in this. This is important to me, and I feel the need for it like a hungry person wanting food.

As such, I now only feel the weights that I thought I hadn't need to change and keep as a part of me be limiting in the race to something that I could only describe as Life-changing.

FIN.

A/N: Just above 1000 words lol, Anyways I probably wont write for a while. I just got motivated after coming back from School, got the time, sat down and made this. SO, where the heck did I get this idea from? Well, this comes from the fanfiction by XxmememasterxX "Oregairu Shin Continuation". In chapter 2, Komachi talks about Yukino having a lot of handicaps in the 8bowl as she mentions it. So, I pulled this shit out when I really should have made it a bit more to the point. I completely missed the point I wanted so if I manage to get the burst of motivation maybe I will rewrite this thing. Anyways I enjoyed that story (Pleaseee when next update) and thought of this after some time. The point of the original line is about Season 3, Where Yukino deliberately pushed 8man away because she claimed she was relying on him too much and The events of Season 3 after sort of also support the point of this. However I made it different entirely, making it about points of Yukino herself which she thinks is not that good and wants to change for 8man. It's Obvious this is after Season 2 but Before Season 3 so there you go. It's time to leave. Bye!