Ajax, my sun, my friend. Thank you for introducing me to this wonderful video game. And thank you for your first reading of this work.
Lisa has always been a clever girl, and she realized one of the foundations of being even at her tender childhood age: "The most important organ of almost all people is the butt. People think, watch, read, write, work and make any choice from small to fateful with the help of the butt. They love each other and children are also raised through the butt, for the most part. So it makes no sense to wonder why so many people's lives are drowning in shit".
The main thing is not to forget for yourself — the head is needed not only to eat with help of it and wear a hat on it.
In addition, it would not be possible to get a chic hat for yourself without a well-functioning head, and Lisa loved them very much.
She also loved cookies, books, and adventure.
Alas, both that, and the second, and the third are expensive, and if you also add hats, then you won't see happiness in life.
But if you use your head for its third purpose, you can always find those who will pay for your joys for you — a person with intellect can find ways to bring everything to the benefit even butt-handlebar people.
And the Order Knights of Favonius turned out to be the perfect place to get everything you want, plus a bag of bonuses on top. The city of Mondstadt, in which the main residence of the Order was located — Lisa got a job in its library — was quite worthy of living: comfortable, many shops with goods from all over the world, many holidays, but at the same time it was not noisy and thieves with robbers were not visible on the main streets. It's not that Lisa couldn't finish off any representative of crime on the spot immediately after he or she or it had the stupidity to attack her, but why waste time and energy on activities in which you find neither benefit nor pleasure?
The only negative was that if you're a librarian, you have to periodically run after idiots equipped with goldfish memory and force them to return expired books or lease renewal. But if you think about solving this problem, then goldfish can give out cookies every time you catch up with them. And running after debtors leveled the harm that the cookies did to the beauty of the body.
Unfortunately, the fish always chatted when serving cookies. However, if their verbal fountain is used as a noise stream for meditation, focusing on sound rather than meaning, then one can build up magical power without special boring training in the company of even more boring knights, and thereby save time for books, cookies, adventures and visits to the hat shop.
And now the reader complained of constant quarrels with her husband. Why the hell does she even live with someone who doesn't suit her, Lisa didn't ask — butt-handlebar persons aren't capable of solving such complex issues.
But, as folk wisdom says, if a woman has no worries, then she either quarrels with her husband or buys a piglet. Given that there are no talking pigs even in the super-magical Sumeru, Lisa advised the reader to buy a papillon or a poodle — pigs can't be kept in the city, and there are no fewer worries with a long-haired dog and it also doesn't speak.
"But you definitely need to train the dog to participate in the competition for performing tricks," Lisa added. "It's called 'agility'. The prize will bring a double benefit: it will decorate your living room and stop quarrels with your husband."
The reader stared at Lisa in complete stunned ness, and Lisa fixed her with a confident, knightly-commander look. Of course, this lady will quarrel with her husband much less for the simple reason that fussing with a pet will force her to spend a lot of time outside her husband's society.
But since a butt-handlebar master could become a danger to an innocent and defenseless animal, Lisa added:
"It's better to start with courses for dog owners. Before buying a puppy. Without preparation, you will ruin everything."
Lisa didn't see this lady in the library for the whole next year. And on the Ludi Harpastum, the main holiday of Mondstadt, the lady walked proudly in the town square in the company of a lovely white Spitz and a handsome companion, who, as Lisa knew for sure, was not the lady's husband. And judging by the satisfied face of the aforementioned lady, all the time that was not occupied by worries about the Spitz, she didn't spend at all in quarrels.
The lady saw Lisa and went straight to her.
"I'm writing a book about the role of dogs in a woman's life," the lady said, barely saying hello. "Will you help with editing? I will definitely donate one copy of the book to the library of the Order Knights of Favonius. No, not even two copies."
"I'm afraid I don't have time at all," Lisa smiled sweetly. "After all, I am a knight officer, always in the service of the Order. But I can advise you of someone who is not particularly busy and willing to help you."
And Lisa began to quickly scroll through her mind the list of enemies and the ways available to the new writer so that she would make them an offer they couldn't refuse.