I walked off, tears trailing down the side of my face. Of course, this was my burden to bear. As a consequence of me being so scared, so petrified at the thought of losing the only other thing I had to care for in my life, I ended up taking away 18 years away from my daughter. 18 precious years of development. I'm a doctor, I know how important those years are. Not just for physical development, but for social and emotional maturation as well. Hell, as a doctor I should have known what I was doing was wrong.

I took an oath, the most important words I ever uttered over the course of my medical career, and I managed to disobey them and then some. I betrayed the trust a mother and daughter share, and I ruined Carla's life in the process. As much as it hurts to admit, I have to let her find her own way now. I can't cling onto falsehoods of protecting her from some invisible bacteria. I can't keep her just to myself. And that is a hard reality to face, perhaps harder than having to bury your husband and your son.

I'm in therapy now, helping myself slowly and surely get over what happened. In some ways, letting go of Maddy was only the first step. I never got to grieve for the loss of my husband and son properly, so now that is a process I have to go through as well. They were lost so quickly, and I had to deal with Maddy's illness at the time. It all became too much so I just buried it. Time for that to be undone. In time, I hope to mend things with Maddy, become her mother again. But I know that could be years away from now. Consequences, I suppose.

Seeing how she's able to have experienced so much in such a short space of time gives me confidence she'll find her way. I mean, how many people can say they went to Hawaii with the person they loved before the age of 20. And soon enough she'll be on her way to New York. Applying for a degree at NYU in the process. Seeing her grow up so quickly in front of my eyes, much quicker than most other parents can say, has been a sobering experience to add to all the others.

My therapist asks me to open up about how it felt find out Maddy had gone to the same place where they died all those years ago. I hadn't thought about this, but that would have only added to the paranoia and sheer panic I was feeling as I figured out what she had done. Actually, that's not true. I had thought about it. I hadn't been able to get the image out of my head, Maddy, added to the pile of Hawaiian tragedy I had already been forced to endure. And she was with a boy who, until very recently, I didn't feel I could trust. That all seems rather stupid now as I sit in the house where everything happened.

I can't help but think of all the money I spent SCID-proofing our house. The memories here are too painful, and the house too big for just me. I've had buyers look at it and I should be able to get a good price for it, more than what I bought it for. Find somewhere even closer to the beach, small house, spare bedroom for when… if Maddy comes to visit. I know as a mother I shouldn't have to say 'if' my daughter comes to visit, but after what I've done to her, I can't blame anyone but myself for what it's come to. I just hope that whatever happens in the future, she is happy with Olly.

Four years later

'Madeline Whittaker.'

I wear the proudest smile I have every worn as my daughter's name is called and she steps forward to receive her degree. In between cheering and crying tears of happiness, I forget to immortalise the memory in photo form and so I go to grab my phone. Olly however sees this and reassures me that he's got the photos and he will send them over later. He is smiling possibly even harder than me as she shakes the chancellor's hand and steps off the stage.

The rest of the ceremony goes on as the last few graduates collect their diplomas. After it all finishes, Maddy rushes over to us and gives Olly a kiss and a big hug before turning to me and hugging me as well.

'I'm so glad you could be here Mum' she says.

'I wouldn't miss it for the world' I say.

'Good' says Olly. 'Because a graduation isn't the only thing we wanted you here for.'

'Isn't it?' Maddy asks confused.

'No, it's not' Olly says, as he produces a small box from inside his suit jacket.

'Maddy, I've been honoured to know you for five years now, and on a day when you've graduated from student to graduate, I wanted to make it even more special.'

He gets down on one knee as I suddenly realise where this is going. It seems like Maddy has as well because her face is filled with shock and tears start rolling down her cheeks.

'So' Olly starts up again. 'With that being said, I ask you one simple question. Madeline Whittaker, will you marry me.'

'Yes', she says happily through the tears and goes to hug Olly as he puts the ring on her finger.

Amid all this my mind is cast back a few years, when all trust between us had been obliterated and we had to rebuild from scratch, one slow piece at a time. It took her six months to even establish regular contact, and over a year to come and see me in person. The first couple of times were particularly hard, but eventually it became easier. We went to see her father and brother for the first time together. During the year she was gone, I finally allowed myself to grieve properly. I cried; oh, I cried so many times.

But with that the burden eventually was lifted from me. The therapy helped me, and I eventually began to enjoy my life again and stop therapy altogether. Maddy noticed that too. She saw that I had let go, and that I was ready to move on. That's when she told me words I'll cherish till the end of my life.

'Mum' she said. 'Truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely forgive you for everything that you did. But whatever has happened in the past, I want you in my life for the future. It's not a clean slate, but I want us to be mother and daughter again.'

And since then, I've strived to be the best person I can be. For myself, for Maddy and Olly, for my patients, for everyone. And all that has culminated in my daughter living in New York, graduated with a bachelor's degree, ready to take on the world with Olly by her side, as husband and wife. After the ceremony ends and the proposal has sunk in, we all go out to celebrate. Olly's mum and sister come along too. I look around the group of people assembled and realise this is what Maddy has been able to achieve, all of her own making. I'm privileged to be a part of it.

One year later

I look at my daughter, clothed in material magnificence. She looks so beautiful in her dress, a yellow one that she picked herself. Wearing white for all those years probably put her off the colour indefinitely, and for that I cannot blame her. But even still, five years after the revelations, I am just happy to be able to be here. To be present on the most important day of my daughter's life up to this point.

And when I was told I would be walking my daughter down the aisle on her wedding day, I almost broke down in tears. For a parent there's no higher honour and to have this bestowed on me was more than I could have ever asked her. And even right before I'm about to do it, I can't help but admire, for the billionth time, everything Maddy has accomplished since she left.

'It's time' I say. 'Are you ready?'

She smiles back at me and nods. I stand next to her as we begin to make our way up the aisle. Olly turns around to see his blushing bride and I can tell her beauty has taken him by surprise. As we approach the front, I see her waving to various people in the audience, Olly's family being a notable example.

'I love you' I whisper to her before I let her go.

'I love you too mum' she replies.

I hand her over, letting her take her place at the front. She gazes into her future husband's eyes, I can tell they belong together, like me and my husband before her. I wish them nothing but happiness in their lives. They recite their vows, talk about how much they mean to each other and the unique way in which they met. They exchange rings and promise to always be there for each other. Eventually they kiss and are officially married. I can only smile as my daughter and now son-in-law, make their way down the aisle and onto new beginnings, new experiences and a new chapter in both of their lives, together.