hate everyone here but you
For QLFC, Round 7
Team: Puddlemere United
Position: Chaser 1
Prompt: A Reunion
Bonus prompts: [dialogue] "Oh, come on, [name]! What do you have to lose?" / "My pride. My sanity. My lunch.", [era] next-gen, [color] bright yellow
TW/Additional Tags: drinking
Word count: 2,011
This was not how Albus was planning to spend the week off he'd desperately dreamt of whilst dodging minor Dark wizards and risking getting his legs blown off in Ancient Greek temples. Instead of blissful relaxation, on his first afternoon not spent scrubbing sand out of various crevices and healing odd nicks and scrapes that he hadn't noticed, Rose and Scorpius had found their way over to Lily's flat with a brand-new pair of dress robes courtesy of Dominique and an invitation to Hogwarts Reunion, Sorting Year 2017 and were currently doing their very best to condemn him to a miserable evening.
"Who even goes to these things?" asked Albus exasperatedly, slamming the invitation back down on Lily's kitchen table, hoping it would decide to self-incinerate. When it didn't, he squinted at it and considered setting it on fire himself.
The crisp, creamy-white paper stared back at him smugly.
Lily jerked a thumb in Rose and Scorpius's direction. "These two do, apparently."
Scorpius winced. "I thought you were in support, Freckles."
"Oh, I support anything that gets Al out of the house," she said airily. "If it were up to him, he'd glue the door shut and curl up in a blanket for the entire week."
"I'm right here, you know," said Albus irritably. At this present moment, however, barricading himself in his room didn't sound like such a bad idea.
He sat down at the table heavily.
Rose propped her head on her hands and said: "I suppose you'll just have to tell Dominique you didn't like her dress robes. She'll be so disappointed."
Albus scowled. It was so like them to go to Dominque first, so he felt compelled to wear them and attend this ridiculous event.
"Just because I don't want to go to a stupid party with dancing and bad music and insufferable people, you act like I'm some kind of monstrous recluse when it's perfectly reasonable not to want to associate with some idiotic people who peaked in school!" Not to mention not wanting to have to explain why half his left ear was singed off by cursed fire and wrapped in a bandage.
"Oh, come on, Al!" Lily burst out. "What do you have to lose?"
"My pride. My sanity. My lunch."
He did feel rather nauseous at the thought of going, after all.
"I'll whip up something for hangovers," Lily offered brightly, and the other three grimaced a little. While Lily's potions worked excellently for making bright pigments or potent poisons, her healing potions tended to have... ill effects. The last time Albus took one of her Pepper-Up Potions, he'd breathed smoke out his nostrils like a dragon for an entire week. He preferred to stick to his own brews.
"I'd rather take my chances with a nest of baby Ashwinders," said Albus.
But there were no more chances to make dry remarks because Lily was tugging him up the stairs just the same time she did as a kid, and Rose and Scorpius trailed them, the latter unwrapping Albus's brand-new, un-asked-for dress robes and the former cooing over the design. Lily glanced over her shoulder and started giggling.
"What's the colour?" asked Albus without turning around. Lily giggling, in his experience, spelt bad news.
"It's, it's uh —" She snorted. "Bright yellow."
Oh, Merlin. Albus's heart dropped to his stomach. She must be pulling my leg.
No. No.
He stopped walking towards the bedroom and turned around. Instantly, Rose and Scorpius froze in their tracks, a vast expanse of lemon-yellow silk gathered in Scorpius's arms.
"No. No." Albus shook an accusing finger. "I am not going to let you three dress me up like an idiot."
"You won't be an idiot, Al," Rose put in, taking the robes from Scorpius and shaking them out as if that was supposed to improve the situation. "It's got a nice cut, and it's real Acromantula silk, and it—it—"
"—Brings out your eyes," finished Scorpius. "Right, Freckles?"
Lily nodded enthusiastically.
He had well and truly lost the battle.
Despite his protests, Albus found himself, lemon robes and all, heading towards the event venue, which was disguised as a now-empty restaurant with space to let. Albus wondered why the planning committee didn't think Muggles would find hordes of ostentatiously dressed people going into a mouldy and apparently empty building a bit strange, but then, his fellow Slytherins who he understood had organised the whole affair, didn't tend to see Muggles as intelligent.
All the more reason not to go to these things. You can really see most of these peoples' mentality hasn't changed one iota since the war.
"Penny for your thoughts?" asked Scorpius, who was dressed most enviously in a set of very nice sleek grey robes in a lightweight wool.
Albus simply shook his head.
"Well, ready to face the music?"
Rose, who was a few paces ahead, was already easing the door open.
No turning back now. Albus took a deep breath and grabbed hold of the door as Rose stepped inside, the cool metal slippery under his sweaty hand.
The minute he stepped over the threshold, he was immediately greeted with a densely packed crowd of chattering people, and with relief, he noticed that no one turned to look at him or pretended to be particularly interested. Lots of brightly-coloured fairies were flying to and fro with glasses of bubbly, bright yellow liquid — was that potion-spiked champagne? — and hors d'oeuvres.
"Let's do rounds," Rose suggested, snagging one of the glasses from a nearby fairy.
Rounds sounded nauseatingly awful. Before Albus could voice this, Rose had already gotten a firm grip on his arm that any Chaser would have envied and started to haul him away from the entrance, towing him straight into the crowd with Scorpius at their heels.
It was just his luck when Imogen Zabini tapped him on the shoulder, deftly plucked him from Rose's grip, and whispered, "I like your robes!"
Albus grimaced and then attempted to turn it into a smile. If Imogen was put off by it, she didn't flinch but instead barrelled on.
"How's work? You were in Egypt, right? Found anything interesting or rare lately?" Imogen gestured to her quivering diamond earrings. "Or... expensive?"
"If it's cursed jewellery you want, try Borgin and Burkes," Albus groused, straining to get a glimpse of Rose or Scorpius, whose platinum hair was usually an excellent beacon. But the crowd was too dense for Albus to see far past the first couple of heads.
The brief attempt at a conversation soon lulled, and Albus thought of trying to make his way through the crowd again until Imogen spoke again.
"Tried the drinks yet? They're really good, kind of lemony."
As if that was some kind of cue, one of the fairies descended to float around Albus's shoulder, carrying a glass that must have been half her weight.
"Thanks," he told the fairy stiffly and then tried a tentative sip. Unfortunately, it tasted horribly medicinal, with an artificial lemon aftertaste and an overload of sugar as an ill-thought-out attempt at masking it.
Imogen was watching him very intently, her eyes wide as saucers. "What did you think of it? Was it alright?"
"It was..." Albus grimaced a little. "Bracing, I thought."
Imogen's face fell instantly. "Oh, no! Too much lemon essential oil? I knew my formula was off! Thanks for telling me, Al. You really are one of a kind!"
"No—" Albus stammered out, feeling guilty and annoyed at the same time. How was I supposed to know she made it? "It was really, er, lovely."
And with that, he tipped the rest back, trying not to wince. It burnt his throat on the way down.
I should also tell her to take it easy on the alcohol, but I sometimes hear that I'm too harsh.
"There you are!"
Scorpius had reappeared sans Rose and with a bright yellow stain across his once-pristine robes.
"Hope I'm not interrupting," Scorpius added, and an awkward glance passed between him and Imogen.
Oh please, thought Albus. It was three months in sixth year. Hardly one for the books.
"Not at all," said Imogen, who still sounded a little distraught. "I was telling Al about my newest venture. Which I'm test-driving this evening... and is also all over your robes..."
"Ohhh, this?" Scorpius picked self-consciously at the neon stain. "One of your innumerable cousins chucked it at me, Al. I'm suing, and my father will hear about this."
"Here, let me fix it," Imogen offered, drawing her wand. "Least I could do."
Not wishing to resign himself to watch Imogen drawing out a simple Scourgify as long as possible, Albus set off to find Rose. He discovered her backed into a corner and conversing lethargically with Jamie McLaggen, who used to be Gryffindor Keeper, was desperately attempting to reserve for the Ballycastle Bats but failing horribly, and was generally agreed upon to have peaked in Hogwarts.
Curious, Albus drew closer.
"...yes, my paper on the alchemical properties of sulfur-containing compounds was published in Magic last month," Rose was saying in a monotone voice, holding onto her nearly-empty glass for dear life. "But your... Quidditch manoeuvres are so complicated, I couldn't possibly begin to understand a barrel roll; it's not like Dad hasn't been dragging us to Quidditch matches since Hugo could sit up."
McLaggen obviously had a poor grasp of sarcasm. "Oh, yeah, definitely! So complex! Super complicated! No one gets me like you do, Rosie!"
It's quite simple to 'get' McLaggen as long as you validate his delusions frequently.
Rose had caught sight of Albus and announced loudly, "I absolutely must find the correct recycling bin to dispose of this glass waste which may be hazardous if shattered. I will be right back, Jamie; just wait for me."
He stepped back slightly and gestured to let her go through. Rose made a beeline to Albus and hissed at him: "Why didn't you hex him?"
"I thought you wanted Nice Albus tonight." He held his arms out. "You know, the one who goes to stupid parties and wears bright yellow robes." Then, to make his point further, he affixed a big, fake smile on his face.
Rose scowled.
Just then, strobe lights descended from the ceiling, illuminating the room with neon splashes of iridescent green, blue, and purple. Some one-hit wonder band had come out onstage, and the lead vocalist had begun to screech out an indie rock cover of Celestina Warbeck's hit jazz tune, A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love. McLaggen squinted briefly in their direction, but the strobe lights were slightly blinding, and Albus had heard from James (admittedly, the veracity of James's claims often couldn't be counted on) that McLaggen needed glasses but was too vain to wear them.
A lot of people started dancing quite horribly, really, because it wasn't a dancey sort of song, and on top of that, wizards had notoriously lousy rhythm. Albus had two left feet, but at least he didn't inflict it on others. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for Scorpius, who was currently making a massive fool of himself. Rose grabbed him by the arm for the second time tonight and hauled him headfirst into the crowd.
The long-haired singer teetered off the stage, almost screaming:
"I've got a cauldron full of hot, strong love
It's a recipe so rare
There's no potion or elixir that
Could ever quite compare!"
Just as they reached Scorpius, he sang that last line very off-key in Albus's ear.
"Managed to get rid of your stain, then?"
"What stain?" asked Rose.
"Oh, Lucy threw her drink on me." Scorpius made a face. "This is Italian Mooncalf wool."
"I'll tell her off if you want," Rose offered brightly, but Scorpius shook his head.
"Not worth it in this crowd. I'll have to just wear it to garden in, I'm afraid."
Rose turned to Albus, sighing a little. "Any revelations from tonight, Al?"
"No, really," said Albus. "I hate everyone here but you two, but then, I already knew that."