Gilderoy Lockhart
As promised, Arthur and David explained to Chrys, Sam and even the twins about what happened and of how Dobby could've been the one that sealed the barrier. All of them were satisfied and Sam indeed wrote and sent a letter to Martha and Ben. Arthur also wrote a letter to the Dentleys and sent Athena to deliver it.
After that, they headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
The trio all sat together and Chrys had Voyages with Vampires propped open against a milk jug just so she could read it.
"Don't tell me you believe all those things Lockhart did." David spat, and Arthur could've sworn he said so with jealousy.
"I don't. Just because it's written down in a book, doesn't automatically make it fact." She retorted, assuring him and Arthur.
Mike greeted them all happily as he sat next to them. His black hair was more tidy than Arthur's and he had the most striking purple eyes, and is of course the son of Professor McGonagall.
Neville also came and greeted them cheerfully. He was a round faced boy being known for being accident prone and for having possibly the worst memory Arthur's never known.
"Post's due any minute. I think Gran's sending on a few things I forgot."
Sure enough, as Arthur was about to have a spoonful of porridge, a rushing sound came overhead and over a hundred owls streamed in, circling around the Hall and dropping various letters and packages into the chattering crowd.
Arthur watched as a big and lumpy parcel bounced off of Neville's head, and then a second later, a large and grey something fell into Chrys' lap, narrowly missing her jug.
"David…." She said, holding up the limp body of Errol. He gulped as he grabbed him and placed the owl on his lap, pulling a letter from his beak. Arthur was also worried about what David's parents would say to him as this would be a response to what was sent to them last night.
"Just read it and get it over with." He told him. So David sighed and opened up the letter. He didn't let Arthur read it as well and was silent for the entire time reading it. Eventually, he closed the letter up and sighed.
"My parents are upset and I'll be grounded for a month during the summer holidays. And Gideon is now facing an inquiry." He told the other two gravelly.
"Let's just hope he turns out okay." Arthur said, no longer hungry for breakfast as guilt crept back in his body.
But he didn't have the chance to dwell on it as McGonagall moved along the Gryffindor table and handed out timetables. Arthur took his and saw that they had double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs first.
The trio all left the castle and crossed the vegetable patch to the greenhouses, which is where the magical plants are kept.
Once they got closer to the greenhouses, they noticed that the rest of the class were waiting outside, waiting for Professor Sprout, the Herbology teacher and Head of Hufflepuff house.
The three had only just joined them when they saw her striding into view across the lawn, and much to their annoyance, she was accompanied by Lockhart. Her arms were full of bandages and seeing the Whomping Willow in the distance with slings on branches, it's clear why she has them, making Arthur and David feel guilty.
Sprout was a squat little witch that wore a patched hat over her flyaway hair, had a large amount of earth on her clothes and her fingernails would make any proper woman faint. And yet, Lockhart was immaculate in his sweeping turquoise robes and his golden hair shone in the sunlight. He clearly didn't do anything.
"Oh, hello there!" He called, beaming around the various students. "Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels…." Arthur was starting to get more annoyed with him. There's no way he did any of that.
"Greenhouse Three, today, chaps!" Sprout shouted, looking unpleased, clearly at Lockhart, and not in her usual cheerful self.
Of course, the whole class murmured with interest because they only ever worked in Greenhouse One beforehand. Greenhouse Three housed the more interesting and dangerous plants. Sprout pulled out a large key from her belt and unlocked the door. Arthur immediately caught a whiff of damp earth and fertiliser, which mingled with heavy perfume of giant, umbrella sized flowers that dangled from the ceiling.
He was about to follow his friends when Lockhart shot his hand out to him.
"Arthur! I've been wanting a word, you don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you, Professor Sprout?"
Considering that she had a scowl on her face, she did mind, but she didn't even get a chance to reply before Lockhart said "That's the ticket." and closed the door on her face. Arthur had his jaw drop in disgust.
"Arthur." Lockhart then said with his large white teeth somehow gleaming in the sunlight as he shook his head. "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur." This left the boy scrunching his face.
"When I heard, well, of course, it was all my fault. Could have kicked myself. Don't know when I've been more shocked. Flying a car to Hogwarts! Well, of course, I knew at once why you'd done it. Stood out a mile. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur." This just left the boy speechless, Lockhart thought that Arthur was just after fame and glory.
"Gave you a taste for publicity, didn't I? Gave you the bug. You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn't wait to do it again."
"That's not even true-"
"Arthur, Arthur, Arthur." Lockhart cut him off, grasping his shoulder. "I understand. Natural to want a bit more once you've had that first taste, and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head, but see here, young man, you can't start flying cars to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, alright? Plenty of time for all that when you're older. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking! 'It's alright for him, he's an internationally famous wizard already!' But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't they? All that business with He Who Must Not Be Named!" He glanced at the lightning scar on Arthur's forehead. "I know, I know, it's not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award five times in a row, as I have, but it's a start, Arthur, it's a start."
Lockhart gave him a hearty wink before striding off. Arthur stood there stunned in anger for a few seconds. Lockhart actually thought Arthur was trying to get more famous. And he actually thought that he was more famous than a boy that first defeated possibly the darkest wizard of all time.
Suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be in the greenhouse, he opened the door and slid his way inside and got to his place with David and Chrys with a frown. The two knew right away that it was because of Lockhart.
Sprout stood behind a trestle bench in the centre of the greenhouse and twenty pairs of different coloured earmuffs lay on the bench.
"We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?" Sprout asked the class. Arthur found himself excited, his anger being lifted as he read all about those at one point during spare time.
Of course, Chrys shot her hand up before anyone else.
"Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative used to return people who were transfigured or cursed into their original state." She answered.
"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor." Sprout said. "The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?"
This time, Arthur put his hand up, even before Chrys did. Sprout pointed to him.
"Because the cry a Mandrake makes can be fatal to those that hear it." He answered.
"Precisely. Take another ten points." Sprout said, making Arthur feel better. " Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still very young." She pointed at a row of deep trays as she spoke and everyone had shuffled forward so that they could get a better look. There were around a hundred tufty little plants, purplish green in colour, growing in rows. They seemed unremarkable, but Arthur knew what they really look like having seen an illustration of them.
"Everyone take a pair of earmuffs." Sprout then requested of her students. This made everyone scramble as everyone didn't want a pink and fluffy pair.
"When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are completely covered. When it is safe to remove them, I will give you the thumbs up. Right, earmuffs on."
Arthur snapped his earmuffs over his ears, pressing them down to ensure they're fully covered until the sound was shut out entirely. Sprout had put on a pink fluffy pair before rolling up her sleeves, grabbed one of the tufty plants firmly and pulled hard.
Arthur saw other students gasp at what they saw, while Arthur himself didn't.
Instead of seeing roots, there was a small, muddy and extremely ugly baby that popped out of the earth. There were leaves growing right out of its head, had pale green mottled skin and was bawling at the top of its lungs.
Sprout then took a large plant pot from under the table and placed the Mandrake in it, burying it in dark, damp compost until all that was visible was its tufted leaves. Sprout dusted off her hands before giving the thumbs up and everyone removed their earmuffs as she did.
"As our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their cries won't kill you yet." She said calmly as though this was just a casual thing for her to do. "However, they will knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack up. Four to a tray, there is a large supply of pots here, compost in the sacks over there, and be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, it's teething."
She sharply slapped at a spiky, dark red plant as she spoke, making it draw in long feelers that inched sneakily over her shoulder.
Arthur, David and Chrys got joined at their tray by a tall dark haired Hufflepuff that Arthur remembered from the Sorting Ceremony last year.
"Justin Finch-Fletchley." The boy said brightly, shaking his hand. "Know who you are, of course, the famous Arthur Pendergast… and you're Chrysanthemum Ranger, always top in everything…" (this made Chrys blush in embarrassment as she shook hands with him) "...and David Merlon, an actual descendant of Merlin. Wasn't that your flying car?"
David didn't really smile as he still felt guilty.
"That Lockhart's something, isn't he?" Justin then said happily, as they started filling plant pots with dragon dung compost. "Awfully brave chap. Have you read his books? I'd have died of fear if I'd been cornered in a telephone box by a werewolf, but he stayed cool and, zap, just fantastic. My name was down or Eton, you know, I can't tell you how glad I am I came here instead. Of course, mother was slightly disappointed, but since I made her read Lockhart's books I think she's begun to see how useful it'll be to have a fully trained wizard in the family…."
Arthur felt that Justin was too gullible, instantly believing what was in Lockhart's books, which was a shame because he thought he was a good boy.
Though after that, there wasn't much chance to talk. Their earmuffs were put back on and they had to concentrate on dealing with the Mandrakes.
Sprout made the whole thing look easy as the Mandrakes didn't like coming out of the earth yet they didn't want to go back into it either. They would squirm, kick and flail their sharp fists, gnashing their teeth as well. Arthur even had to spend ten minutes squashing a really fat one into a pot.
When the class ended, everyone was sweaty, aching and covered in earth. They made their way to the castle for a quick wash before the Gryffindors went off for Transfiguration.
McGonagall's classes were normally hard work, though today was pretty difficult, which Arthur didn't mind. He was supposed to turn a beetle into a button, which he was able to do, along with Mike, who sat in front of him, winking at his accomplishment.
David, on the other hand, was not doing so well. He patched up his wand with some Spellotape, though it seemed that the wand was damaged beyond repair. It kept crackling and sparking at odd times and when he tried to transfigure his beetle, it ended up engulfing him in thick grey smoke that smelled like rotten eggs. Being unable to see what he was doing, he accidentally squashed his beetle with his elbow and needed a new one. McGonagall was displeased.
The lunch bell finally rang and everyone, except Arthur and David, filed out of the classroom. David was so mad that he whacked his wand on the desk.
"Bloody… stupid…." He hissed, the wand letting off a volley of bangs.
"Why not just write home for another one?" Arthur asked him.
"No, I'm just gonna accept this as a punishment. Plus, I don't want to hear from my parents saying that it was my fault that my wand got snapped." David shot that idea down.
The two went off to have lunch and when David saw Chrys showing off her coat buttons she produced in the class, it was a salt in the wound and carried off, not saying a word to her as they went off to the Great Hall.
"What do we have this afternoon?" Arthur asked Chrys as they ate.
"Defence Against the Dark Arts." She replied, holding back a groan.
"Are you kidding me? We have to deal with that git for a whole hour?" David snapped.
After finishing lunch, they all went outside to the overcast courtyard. Chrys sat on a stone step and buried her nose in Voyages with Vampires, sometimes shaking her head, which Arthur thought it was because she's in disbelief that anything in the book actually happened.
Meanwhile, both Arthur and David stood nearby, chatting about Quidditch for several minutes until Arthur felt like he was being watched. He looked and saw the mousy haired boy he saw during the Sorting Ceremony, who stared at him, transfixed, making Arthur feel uncomfortable.
The boy was clutching what seemed like an ordinary Muggle camera. The boy went bright red, realising that Arthur was looking at him.
"Alright, Arthur? I'm - I'm Colin Creevey." The boy said breathlessly, even taking a tentative step forward." I'm in Gryffindor, too. D'you think - would it be alright if - can I have a picture?" He then said, raising the camera with hopefulness."
"A picture?" Arthur cringed at the idea, Lockhart was bad enough.
"So I can prove I've met you." Colin explained eagerly, edging closer to him. "I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You Know Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead and a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures'll move." Colin drew a huge shuddering breath of excitement before continuing. "It's brilliant here, isn't it? I never knew all the odd stuff I could do was magic till I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad's a milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So I'm taking loads of pictures to send home to him. And it'd be really good if I had one of you-" He had an imploring look on Arthur. "-maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?"
Arthur groaned, as did David, but before either of them could reply….
"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Pendergast?" Loud and scathing, Draco's voice echoed throughout the courtyard. He ended up behind Colin, flanked as usual with his large and thuggish cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.
"Everyone queue up! Arthur Pendergast's giving out signed photos!" He then roared to the crowd.
"NO I AM NOT! AND I NEVER WILL!" Arthur roared even louder. "When will you ever learn to shut up?"
"You're just jealous." Colin shot at Draco, whose body seemed as thick as Crabbe's neck/
"Jealous?" Draco asked as half the courtyard was listening in. "Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself." Crabbe and Goyle sniggered like idiots.
"Says the spoiled brat who has no talent." David retorted, resulting in Crabbe to stop laughing and rub his conker-like knuckles menacingly, though Arthur and David weren't threatened.
"Be careful, Merlon." Draco sneered, his face going pink, clearly having a nerve struck. "My father would not be kind if he heard you say something like that. He'd embarrass your father and make him look like an idiot." This caused some fifth year Slytherins to laugh.
"I'm sure Merlon would like a signed photo, Pendergast. It can be given to Weasley, who just might need the money after his inquiry." David tried to charge at him but Arthur and even Chrys, who stopped reading when the back and forth happened, grabbed him to not get into trouble.
However, something much worse came around….
"What's all this, what's all this?" Lockhart strode towards them, his turquoise robes swirling. "Who's giving out signed photos?"
"NO ONE!" Arthur shouted but Lockhart clearly didn't listen as he flung an arm around his shoulders and thundered jovially, "Shouldn't have asked! We meet again, Arthur!"
Arthur was burning with humiliation and rage as while pinned to Lockhart's side, he watched Draco slide back into the crowd with a smirk.
"Come on then, Mr Creevey. A double portrait, can't say fairer than that, and we'll both sign it for you." Lockhart said, beaming at the first year boy.
Colin fumbled for his camera and took the picture as the bell rang behind them, signalling that the afternoon classes are about to begin.
"Off you go, move along there." Lockhart then said to the crowd, setting off back into the castle with Arthur, who wished that he knew a way to get as far away from Lockhart as possible as he was still clasped to his side.
"A word to the wise, Arthur." Lockhart said paternally as they entered through a side door. "I covered up for you back there with young Creevey, if he was photographing me, too, your schoolfellows won't think you're setting yourself up so much…."
Arthur found himself speechless with anger once more as Lockhart swept him through a corridor lined with students that stared at them and then up a staircase.
"Let me just say that handing out signed pictures at this stage of your career isn't sensible, looks a tad bigheaded, Arthur, to be frank. There may well come a time when, like me, you'll need to keep a stack handy wherever you go, but-" He gave a chortle. "-I don't think you're quite there yet."
Arthur would've exploded at him if it weren't for the fact that they've finally reached Lockhart's classroom and he'd finally let go of Arthur.
Arthur yanked his robes to be straightened and headed to sit in the very back of the class, where he busied himself, piling all seven of Lockhart's books in front of him to avoid looking at the man himself.
The rest of the class then came in and both David and Chrys sat on either side of Arthur.
"You look so red that you could fry an egg on your face." Chrys said, patting his back.
"Just hope that Colin doesn't start an Arthur Pendergast fan club." David added, though quietly, as he didn't want Lockhart to hear and make Arthur even more embarrassed and humiliated.
Once the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loud enough that the class fell silent. He then reached forward and picked up Neville's copy of Travels with Trolls and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front, making the trio roll their eyes.
"Me." He said, pointing at it and winking as well." Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"
He waited for them all to laugh, but all he got were a few weak smiles.
"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books, well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about, just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in…."
Once handing out all the test papers, he returned to the front of the class.
"You have thirty minutes. Start… now!" He said.
Arthur looked down at his paper, reading:
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
It just went on and on over three sides of paper until:
54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?
Arthur didn't want to but he decided that if it can get Gryffindor any more points, he may as well do it since he knows the answers to the questions, having read Lockhart's books when he was at Merlon Manor.
Half an hour later, Lockhart had collected the papers and went through them all in front of the class.
"Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remember that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with a Yeti, And a few of you need to read Wandering with Werewolves more carefully, I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non magic peoples, though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey!"
He gave them all a roguish wink, making David look at him in disbelief, Mike with a look of contempt and both Seamus and Dean, who sat in front, shook with silent laughter. Chrys also looked so bored and when her name was mentioned, she tried looking like she listened.
"...but Miss Chrysanthemum Ranger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of haircare potions, good girl! In fact-" He flipped over her paper. "-full marks! Same for Arthur Pendergast! Where are they?"
The two raised their hands against their wills.
"Excellent! Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor each! And so, to business…." Lockhart beamed before bending down behind his desk and lifted a large cage covered with a drape.
"Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind" You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."
Arthur ended up leaning around his pile of books to look at the cage Lockhart placed a hand on the cover, which caused Dean and Seamus to stop laughing and Neville to cower in his front row seat.
"I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them." Lockhart now said in a low voice.
With the whole class holding its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover.
"Yes. Freshly caught Cornish pixies." He then said theatrically.
Seamus couldn't even hold it in and just let out a snort of laughter and Lockhart knew that it wasn't a scream of terror.
"Yes?" He smiled at him.
"Well, they're not - they're not very - dangerous, are they?" Seamus choked.
"Don't be so sure!" Lockhart told him, waggling his finger at Seamus with annoyance. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"
Said pixies were electric blue, like David's eyes, and were around eight inches high with pointed faces and voices that were so shrill that it seemed like budgies arguing. The very moment the cover was removed, they started to jabber and rocket around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at those nearest to them. Arthur thought they were crazy little gits and wouldn't want to deal with them on the loose.
"Right then. Let's see what you make of them!" Lockhart loudly said before he idiotically opened the cage.
It was possibly the most insane pandemonium Arthur ever witnessed. The pixies shot in any and all directions like rockets. Two of them even seized Neville by the ears and lifted him up in the air. Some shot through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. All the other pixies started wrecking the entire classroom, doing more damage than what a rhino would do.
They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, upended the waste bin, grabbed various bags and books, throwing them out through the smashed window. Eventually, half the class took cover under the various desks while Nevill was swinging from the candelabra in the ceiling.
Arthur knew right away that Lockhart had to be the worst teacher in terms of actually teaching them what to do, he just unleashed the pixies, hoping the students can do something about them.
"Come on now, round them up, round them up, they're only pixies…" He shouted, clearly being just as clueless, if not more so than everyone else. He then rolled up his sleeves and brandished his wand before bellowing "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"
It had no effect whatsoever as the pixies just kept wreaking havoc. One of them even seized his wand and threw it out of the window. Lockhart just gulped before diving under his own desk, narrowly avoiding Neville, who fell a second later thanks to the candelabra giving way.
When the bell rang, everyone made a mad dash towards the exit. In the relative calm that had followed, Lockhart straightened up and caught sight of Arthur, David and Chrys, who were almost at the door and said "Well, I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." He then swept past them and shut the door on them.
"THAT ABSOLUTE IDIOT!" David bellowed as he ripped a pixie off of his ear as it was biting it.
"This is not how you teach a class!" Chrys added, immobilising various pixies with a Freezing Charm, stuffing them into the cage.
"And he didn't even have a clue what he was doing!" Arthur spat.
"Yeah, I'm starting to think he's a real phoney!" David agreed with him.
Honestly, let's all agree that Lockhart is such an idiot. And also, this chapter is a way to truly establish how different Chrys is compared to Hermione.
Hermione can be stupid in the sense that she believes that when something's written in a book, then it's automatically a fact, therefore she believes Lockhart's lies. But Chrys is actually smart enough to know that not everything written in books can be taken as fact.