A/N: Inspired by the song 'Move Along' from The All-American Rejects.
The cogwheel door to the hub opened with its usual loud rattle and alarm as the team of Torchwood Three returned from a rift retrieval gone wrong. Nerves were on edge, and tempers were running high.
"Oi, teaboy over there almost got us killed tonight," Owen complained, pointing at Ianto. "If you draw a gun, you have to use it. If you freeze, chances are good someone will die."
"You could've helped Tosh if you hadn't decided to dive head first into a dumpster," Ianto sniped back, uncharacteristically harsh. He knew he had hesitated where he shouldn't have - no need for Owen to rub it in deeper.
"How could I have known the creature would be so strong and have a hidden arm beneath its coat?" Owen grumbled.
"Honestly, guys, I didn't need rescuing," Toshiko interjected, clearly irritated that the men were making her role in this a damsel in distress situation. "If you had all stayed back, nothing would have happened."
"Shut up, everybody, and stop blaming each other," Gwen interjected. The atmosphere on their drive back had been strained. She needed everyone to work together and not point out each other's flaws.
Owen tensed. "Look who's talking! Who put you in charge? If you look at the protocols, I'm second in command. Jack has been gone for two days, and you've already taken over this place."
"Oh really," Gwen shot back angrily. "Fine, go ahead. But if you want to be in charge, change your game and step up! All you do since Jack left is complain! That is not how you lead a team!"
Owen remained silent, much to everyone's surprise. He just kept staring at Gwen fiercely. Then his shoulders sagged.
"I don't want to be in command. Even I know, it would be a disaster," Owen muttered. "Go ahead, Gwen, the job is all yours."
Gwen looked at him, wide-eyed, unsure how to respond. She'd anticipated more resistance from the medic's side.
"Thank you, Owen," she finally said softly.
An awkward silence descended over the hub.
"We need to work as a team," she continued firmly after a few moments. "That's how we've always done it. Yes, Jack is gone, but that doesn't mean things have changed. This is still Torchwood. All we have to do is adjust to the new dynamics.
Maybe we can do some gun training at the shooting range tomorrow, Ianto. I think it has been a while since you've done that. And, Owen, only attack an alien with your bare hands if you know about its fighting skills. This is not a weevil cage fight! Did you get the readings we wanted, Tosh?"
"Everything is here. The creature may have escaped into the sewers, but give me some time to analyse the data, so we can regroup and try to catch it tomorrow," Tosh replied as she fed information from her datapad to the computer.
"Good work, Tosh," Gwen said, clapping her hands together. "Let's call it a night and get some rest. A good night's sleep will do us all some good."
Everyone nodded and, one by one, left the hub to catch a few hours of sleep.
Everyone except Ianto.
He was always the last one to leave. His job was to get the hub in order by the end of the day and turn off the lights.
He knew he should get started and not idle around, taking advantage of the opportunity to catch up on sleep. After the past week's events, they were all in desperate need of it.
Yet, he didn't move. Rigidly, he stared into nothing, his fists clenched, as his mind raced in circles over the fact that he'd messed up tonight.
They blamed it on his inexperience. Little did they know, he had some field experience at Torchwood One. But it's been so long. It felt like a lifetime ago.
He had felt helpless tonight - and he didn't like feeling helpless.
It reminded him of why he preferred to remain in the hub. He enjoyed the excitement of field assignments but despised the lack of control. The archives were a place he knew inside and out. It was his safe space. Missions, on the other hand, were unpredictable. Now with Jack gone, Ianto felt overwhelmed. What if something went wrong? If someone died? And no Jack to rely on to save the day if everything else failed.
Ianto knew he shouldn't make this about himself. They were all missing Jack, but they had to get back to work. The rift didn't sleep or give them a break. Life moved on.
Almost a week had passed since they defeated Abaddon, and so much had changed. With one man down, Ianto tried his best to step up. He really tried, but deep down, he felt like sinking. Falling deeper and deeper into an abyss of despair. It felt surreal.
The first few days they had spent waiting. Waiting for Jack to come back from the dead. Gwen had been confident, stubbornly clinging to the fact that Jack had told her he couldn't die. Ianto had been optimistic, too, at first. He was familiar with the Torchwood One reports. He'd always known about Jack's immortality. But nothing happened for three days. No report had ever mentioned such a long time.
And still, they waited.
Ianto felt terrible for going against Jack's wishes the day they had betrayed him. But Lisa's warning had frightened him. He had only ever wanted to keep people safe. He'd seen a lot of death in his life. He had no choice but to take it if there was a way to avoid more deaths. And then Billis summoned Abaddon, and they caused more casualties than he could have imagined. Ianto wondered if he would ever have the opportunity to apologise to Jack for misjudging the situation.
Ianto had been over the moon when Jack returned from the morgue with Gwen. His shy welcome-back embrace, overruled by a passionate kiss in front of everyone else, had been exhilarating.
He'd been so happy.
And then Jack had vanished without a trace.
Well, without a trace at first. But Tosh worked her magic and worked on the CCTV footage until they could see through the perception filter of the Doctor's Tardis.
They all watched Jack running with his backpack across Roald Dahl Plass towards the Water Tower. They witnessed the Tardis dematerialise, and Jack clung to her as she vanished, destination unknown.
Ianto wondered where they had gone. He and the Doctor. Travelling around the galaxy from one adventure to the next? Was the Doctor able to give Jack what he'd been looking for? Had Jack's long wait been worth it?
He hoped Jack was happy. Ianto had never been selfish, and he wasn't about to start now. But he couldn't stop wondering if Jack would ever return. He'd been waiting for the Doctor for quite some time. Why would he want to return now that he'd found him again?
Jack hadn't even bothered to say goodbye. He hadn't told any of them where he was going. To Ianto, it felt like the team wasn't important enough in the presence of the Doctor. He wasn't important enough.
Had he set his expectations too high?
Perhaps it had been only sex after all, despite Ianto's attempt to convince Owen otherwise. Ianto had never been much of a talker. Jack was different. He was a man of many words. And yet... talking about feelings was not one of their strong suits.
Ianto took a look around the hub. He shivered, stuffing his cold hands into his pockets. The hub usually felt more like home to him than his sparsely furnished flat. With Jack gone, a thick layer of emptiness had settled over the large room.
Ianto shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.
"Where are you, Jack?" Ianto whispered.
He didn't know how, but they had to keep Torchwood Cardiff going. They couldn't let UNIT take over due to a lack of leadership. They had to keep moving until Jack returned. They had to make sure that there was still something for Jack to return to.
How long would they have to wait? A week? A month? A year? Ten years? How long before they gave up hope on Jack's return and moved on?
Ianto hated uncertainty. He preferred things to be in order. Predictable. Organised.
Everything Jack never was.
A small grin settled on Ianto's lips.
He and Lisa had such a different dynamic. Lisa had been beautiful, intelligent, and self-assured. Everything she did was impeccable. Ianto admired her and tried to live up to her standards. Not that she expected him to. She loved him just as he was, but his ambition never let him settle for less.
With Jack, it was different.
Sure, he had a lot in common with Lisa. But on top of that, he was also chaotic, lazy, and cocky. He lacked qualities in which Ianto naturally excelled. They complemented each other so well.
To others it was a mystery, how Jack could be such a good leader when he lacked many necessary qualities. Ianto knew why he was the leader they all looked up to. Jack knew he wasn't perfect, he was aware of his own flaws and knew how to bring out the best in others.
Torchwood Cardiff was at its best when everyone worked as a team.
A team that was now in disarray.
Ianto didn't feel like cleaning up. There would be time for it tomorrow morning. He made his way over to Jack's office. Inside, he looked around, his gaze sweeping over piles of paperwork that he should go through over the next few days. Then his gaze was drawn to the ladder leading down to Jack's manhole.
They'd spent more than one night down there - just the two of them.
The manhole was small, and the bed was narrow, but the sex had been fantastic. They both knew how to make the most of the limited space.
Ianto hesitantly climbed down the ladder.
There was only a bed, a narrow wardrobe with Jack's clothes and a tiny bathroom in the back.
Ianto's hand rested on the doorknob of the wardrobe.
Don't snoop, his inner voice chided him.
Ianto opened it anyway and peered inside.
Shirts, trousers, extra belts and braces. A second pair of boots.
Ianto's eyes fell on Jack's spare coat.
He reached out and ran his hand across the thick fabric of the military coat Jack loved to wear. And Ianto loved seeing Jack wear it. He loved his confident demeanour, his proud posture. He admired Jack's brazen confidence. Ianto himself had never been that way.
The young man felt uncomfortable about invading Jack's privacy by being nosy and raiding his wardrobe. But only a little. He reached out and pulled the coat from its hanger. Jack didn't need his spare right now, anyway.
Ianto clutched it tightly for a few moments, burying his face in the rough fabric. The coat smelled like Jack. It was comforting.
He threw the coat over his shoulders and slid his arms into the sleeves in one swift motion. He'd never worn the coat before but would be a liar if he said he'd never wanted to. It was a little too big around the shoulders, but the length was perfect. After all, Jack and he were almost the same height.
He looked into the mirror.
For a moment he contemplated the man in front of him and decided he liked what he saw. Ianto lifted his head and straightened his shoulders. Maybe not the same kind of confidence stared back at him, but for a moment, he felt like he could conquer the world.
He smiled. Maybe James Bond wasn't the only hero worth aspiring to.
Ianto was about the take off the coat when he came to a halt. He could keep it on. Nobody would know, right?
While wearing the coat, he felt safe, like a cocoon protecting him from the cold.
He tugged the coat around him tighter.
Ianto's throat tightened as a wave of loneliness washed over him. He missed Jack and desperately wished he could hold him right now.
Everything felt wrong without him.
So much had changed since they'd hooked up a few months ago. When Ianto asked Jack for a kiss. Ianto was still surprised at himself for being bold enough to ask.
Best decision of his life.
He wasn't sure if their relationship had a future or where it would lead. But he hadn't been this happy in... well, he wasn't sure. Since Lisa? Or perhaps even before?
It had been intoxicating. A wild ride of lust and attraction that made him realise this world wasn't so dark and meaningless after all. He'd felt so alive. It wasn't just the sex, in Ianto's opinion, but also the little daily things. The development of trust. Jack had grown to rely on him.
Ianto wasn't a field agent, at least not yet, but he excelled in administration. Jack despised phone calls, meetings, and writing reports. He was gradually delegating more and more duties to Ianto. Trusting him without even looking at the results.
Ianto's duties had quickly shifted from cleaning the office and feeding the prisoners to what he had done in London. Being a proper personal assistant. Not that anyone else had noticed; all they cared about, most of the time, was a clean workplace and a hot cup of coffee.
Ianto smiled.
He took pride in working so efficiently that no one could tell how much effort it took to complete tasks.
Given how much he despised paperwork, Ianto wondered how Jack had managed before handing over responsibility to him.
Ianto also had often wondered what Jack saw in him. He'd never considered himself to be particularly attractive or interesting. It always surprised him that Jack believed otherwise. Ianto jokingly called him delusional, but deep inside, he was pleased.
Ianto's self-esteem had grown over the last few months, but now he felt it crumbling again. Jack had only been gone for two days, but Ianto felt like drowning in an ocean with no surface.
He knew he had to try and rely on his strength; he had been on his own often enough. He had to be strong. For his friends and for Torchwood.
But maybe not tonight. Maybe he could stay here, just for a little while. Pretending that everything was like it used to be.
Ianto sank onto the bed and pulled his legs close. The fabric of the coat felt as comforting and warm as Jack's embrace. It was easy to pretend Jack was there too if he closed his eyes.
Ianto lay still, immersed in his familiar surroundings, until his breathing settled and he fell asleep.
Tomorrow would be a new day. Together with the rest of the team, he would go on and move along. Just to make it through.