Chapter Two

"W-WHAT?!" Ritsu shouted, jumping to his feet.

Kisa shrugged again. "They broke up." the words sounded painful on his breath. "T-They…there was a misunderstanding and Ritsu and Masamune broke up."

Ritsu felt a cold knife straight to his gut. He looked at the book again and stammered for a moment. "M-M-Maybe it's just—w-was there an epilogue?! M-M-Maybe they get back together in the epilogue!"

"Iya," Mino told him from across the desks. He was still smiling, but Ritsu noticed his face looked a little pale. "Ritsu and Masamune have an incredibly bitter breakup, and that's how the book ends. And…that's how the series ends."

"It's causing quite an uproar," Hatori said curtly. He was looking over his storyboards. "It's all the buzz on Marukawa's message boards and the ending itself seems…off."

"…Off?" Ritsu echoed breathlessly.

"Well, they've spent the last several books building up a relationship where they're comfortable with each other," Mino pointed out. "Then all of a sudden, because of poor communication, they have a nasty breakup. It's not at all what anybody was expecting."

Kisa sniffled loudly. He was openly crying now. "I-I just don't get it! They worked so hard for their love, but…" he choked on a sob. "Ritsu is an idiot! Just a damned stupid idiot!"

"Wait, what?!" Ritsu demanded sharply. "What did I—uh—Ritsu do?!"

"I think it's best you read it for yourself, Onodera-kun," Mino said to him. "The whole breakup scene starts on page 279."

"H-Hai!" Ritsu grabbed the book and flipped it to the page in question. He flopped into his office seat as he started reading.

""Sempai…" Ritsu's shaking fingers fiddled with the unclasped buttons of his shirt as he looked down at the mattress. His face felt hot, but his heart…his heart was troubled. He was certain that he was overexaggerating but he needed to know the truth.

"So Ritsu took a deep breath and forced himself to continue. "Sempai, we are going out, right?"

""Huh?" Masamune said with genuine confusion.

""B-Because Sempai…you never say anything," Ritsu continued slowly. He was clutching at his own shirt now. He smiled nervously as he finally asked the question that had been bugging him for so long. "Sempai…do you love me?"

"Ritsu felt Masamune's unwavering gaze on him, but he kept his head ducked. He was far too embarrassment to look his lover in the face. 'Please, Sempai,' Ritsu thought to him. 'Please put my heart at ease and tell me you love me!'

"Masamune lifted a hand to his own mouth…and he let out a short laugh.

"In that one instant, Ritsu's heart unraveled at the seams, and he stiffened with shock. 'H-He laughed?! Sempai is laughing at me?! Nani?! Doshite?! Why would he laugh at my question?! Unless he…he…

'He's been playing with me this WHOLE TIME?!'"

Ritsu slammed the book shut and covered his mouth in shock and in disgust. Bile rose quickly in his throat and he was afraid he would throw up all over the book. He wanted to sink into the floor until he disappeared completely.

Everything about this breakup scene invoke unpleasant memories inside of him. It didn't help that it mirrored his real-life breakup with Takano. From the words right down to the body language.

"Ritsu is so STUPID!" Kisa wailed. Mino walked around the desks to give him a comforting hug. "Who in their right mind would think their lover didn't care about them over a stupid laugh?! Masamune MORE than proved his love for him! So how could Ritsu so easily convince himself that Masamune was toying with him?!"

"I think the answer is simple," Hatori said grimly. He was still seated at his desk, his head ducked over his work. "Ritsu was never serious about his feelings for Masamune."

Ritsu gaped at Hatori in stunned fury, but his coworker didn't notice the gesture. "I mean, what did Ritsu really do to ever prove his love to Masamune outside of his initial confession? Masamune was the one who gave everything to the relationship. What did Ritsu really ever do for Masamune?"

Ritsu was seeing red, and before he could stop himself he surged to his feet and shouted, "What do YOU know, Hatori-san?!"

Hatori looked at him with shock. Kisa stopped crying long enough to also stare at Ritsu also in shock. Only Mino's expression was unchanging. The entire office was filled with silence, outside of a few beeping fax machines and the soft sounds of keystrokes on computers.

Ritsu sucked in a sharp breath, and his anger immediately dissipated. "A-Ah, gomen nasai," he sputtered. He bowed, but he did it mostly to hide his face. "I-I-I need some fresh air. Please excuse me." Without another word he took off running out of the Emerald department.

He didn't bother waiting for the elevator he slammed into the door leading to the stairwell and bolted up the stairs leading up to the roof. At this point he didn't know if he really needed air, or he was looking to just end it all and throw himself off the roof.

It's the same. It's all the same. Our body language, the words—my THOUGHTS! How?! How did Usami-sensei KNOW these intimate details about that whole thing?!

Ritsu's breathing was ragged as he burst through the door and onto the rooftop. Being outside did get rid of the overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia, and for a brief moment he relaxed. But then he bent over to catch his breath, and he saw he was clutching something in his right hand.

He was clutching that damned book in his right hand!

Unable to help himself, Ritsu flipped over to the breakup scene. Rereading it was no less painful the second time. It left him feeling raw, and completely overexposed. It made him feel like his privacy had been invaded in the worst way possible.

This can't be a coincidence. There can be no possible way this is a coincidence. Usami-sensei somehow found out about Takano-san's and mine's real-life breakup! But how?! He sure as hell didn't hear it from me! Who else could have—

Ritsu stilled, and horror filled his body. "No way," he mumbled in denial. "No fucking way."

"Onodera!"

Ritsu quickly straightened, and turned to face the perpetrator himself. "Onodera, what are you doing up here?" Takano demanded, closing the door to the roof behind himself. "I thought I told you that you're supposed to finish your entire workload today!"

"How could you do this?!" Ritsu responded instead. His emotions were so raw from this realization that he could only whisper.

"Haa?" Takano looked confused. "What are you talking about?!"

"How could you do this?!" Ritsu shouted. He advanced upon Takano, angrily waving the book. "How could you humiliate me in such a way?! All that matters to you is what you want! You have never once considered my feelings at all!"

"Wait a minute," Takano said, raising his hands defensively. His tone had lowered and become calmer and soothing. But the gesture only heightened Ritsu's anger. "What are you talking about, Ri—"

"THIS!" Ritsu threw the book at him. It bounced off Takano's chest before he caught it. "You told Usami-sensei about our breakup!"

"Haa?!" the sound came out harsher and Takano glared at him. "That's ridiculous! Why would I tell Usami-sensei about any part of our relationship, either past or present?! That's nobody's business but ours!"

"Because you think that garbage is funny!" Ritsu shouted, pointing at the book. "You love seeing people fawning over a fictionalized version of our relationship! And what better way to make a better story than to tell Usami-sensei private details about our life?! Just read page 279, you asshole!"

Takano flipped open the book to the appropriate page. Ritsu stood there seething in silence as Takano quickly scanned the pages detailing their breakup. After a few minutes, Takano looked up to glare at him. "I had nothing to do with this, Ritsu."

Ritsu barked out a laugh. "Oh really?!"

"If anyone told Usami-sensei about this, it was you."

Ritsu's jaw dropped. Takano really went there, didn't he? He couldn't man up to gossiping to Usami-sensei, so he was deflecting and blaming Ritsu?! "Don't you DARE pin this on me, you bastard!"

"I haven't spoken to Usami-sensei recently," Takano told him curtly. "And my last discussion with him was entirely business-related. I know for an absolute fact that I didn't tell him about our breakup. So, since I know that I didn't tell him, you're the only other person that could've told him."

"I think I would remember if I ever called up Usami-sensei to give him a verbatim review of our breakup!" Ritsu shrieked. "I've never told anybody about it! Not my friends, not my family, not ANYBODY! So don't you dare stand there and act indignant over my accusations when we both know you're the guilty party in this!"

Takano stepped closer until they were toe-to-toe. He looked so angry that Ritsu's resolved wavered slightly. But his own anger gave him the courage to not back down as Takano seethed at him. "I'm not taking the blame for this, Ritsu. I know I'm being honest when I tell you I had nothing to do with this, so I'm not going to stand here and let you accuse me of something I didn't do."

"You're going to take it because you deserve it," Ritsu shot back. "After all these years of being blamed for everything under the Sun, I'm not going to stand back and let you pin this on me! I let you blame me for what went wrong in our relationship, and I stood by and took all the verbal abuse you heaped upon me! I let myself be your personal punching bag all this time, but it's not happening now! You're going to take responsibility for this, and for violating my privacy and trust! If you don't…"

"If I don't?" Takano echoed, folding his arms over his chest. "If I don't, then what Ritsu? Will you kick me in the head and disappear for another ten years?!"

Ritsu's throat was raw from his shouting, and from the struggle of holding back tears. He wanted something from Takano—an apology, remorse, something! But instead, Takano just kept deflecting. It was like Ritsu's feelings didn't matter to him!

…Have my feelings ever mattered to him?

Ritsu glared as hard as he could at Takano, mostly because he felt tears that were threatening to spill out and he refused to cry in front of the other man. "I hate you!" he gritted out.

He didn't wait to see Takano's reaction. He brushed past the other man and ran back into the building. Ritsu didn't care that it was the middle of the workday—he needed to go home, now. If he didn't, then he knew he would truly fall apart.

Kisa was still crying at his desk when Ritsu returned and he quickly packed up his desk. "I'm going home," he barked.

Kisa didn't seem to hear him but Hatori stood up from his desk. "Onodera-san, what about—"

"I DON'T CARE!" Ritsu shouted, his voice echoing. Conversations around them quickly ceased as he finished packing. His jaw was still clenched as he stomped his way towards the elevator. There was a roaring building in his ears, but he was certain it was related to the rage inside of him.

Damn this place! Damn Usami-sensei! Damn Takano-san! My personal life has been fantasy fodder for the last time! All of them can go STRAIGHT TO HELL!

The elevator doors opened and Ritsu came face-to-face with Yokozawa, but he still wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. Because of the white noise of rage in his ears Ritsu couldn't hear whatever Yokozawa was spewing at him, so instead he responded with an incoherent scream into Yokozawa's stunned face and stomped towards the stairs.

Ritsu didn't remember how he got home and he shut off his phone because of the texts and phone calls that kept coming in. He was careful with his work laptop and set it on the table, but he threw his bag and his jacket across the main room of his apartment. After a few minutes of standing there, his breaths coming out fast and ragged, he burst into tears.

Why? Why is this happening to me?! Why have I been cursed with such an awful fate?! Did I do something horrible in a past life that caused my life now to be like THIS?! Why can't I have peace?! Why can't I have privacy?! Why do I have a lover who never puts MY needs first?! Why am I treated like some irrational asshole all the damn time?! I feel like nobody likes me and uses tolerates and uses me!

Ritsu nursed his aching stomach as he curled into a ball on the floor. "I want to quit," he whimpered to the empty apartment. "I never want to see any of them again…"

He knew deep down that he was being irrational and emotional. He knew that his coworkers did like him and they all had stressful lives of their own. But it was hard to feel rational in the moment when it felt like the whole world hated him.

Maybe I should sink into oblivion. Hai, that would be preferable to this living nightmare. Maybe I can send postcards to everyone. Postcards with cover images of all of Usami-sensei's novels.

Ritsu didn't bother trying to get his emotions under control and let himself cry it out on the floor. It was too reminiscent of what he felt when he was a teenager nursing a broken heart. He really needed someone to hold him right then.

But the one person who could give me comfort is the cause of my pain!

Ritsu cried until it felt like his eyes swelled shut and he slowly sat up, scrubbing at his face with his sleeve. He hated crying because it rarely made him feel better and it only made him feel like a mess. He sat there for a moment, staring at the wall where Takano's apartment was on the other side. Then he let out a shaky sigh and trudged to his feet to look for his cell phone.

I'm at my limit. I can't do this anymore. I'll put in my two weeks notice and find work elsewhere. The stress and emotional drain is killing me.

He found his cell phone in his coat pocket and turned it back on. He had dozen of missed calls, most of them from Takano, and many more text messages. A text from Kisa immediately popped up on his screen. "Ricchan, are you all right?! I'm so sorry I upset you, please come back!"

Ritsu smiled wryly. Does he truly know why I'm upset? he dropped his phone into his lap and stared towards the ceiling. ….I need to write a resignation letter. Maybe I'll just reprint the one I sent to Tou-san. Isaka-san won't care.

His cell phone began buzzing loudly in his lap. Anger snapped through him again and he snatched it up. "Stop calling me, Takano-san!" he shouted into the phone.

"Onodera-san?"

"M-MUTOU-SENSEI?!" Ritsu almost shrieked. In an instant the anger and anguish fled his body and he swiftly stood up. "G-Gomen nasai!" He bowed in apology, even though she couldn't see him. "Is everything okay, Mutou-sensei?!"

"Ah, hai, Onodera-san," Mutou-sensei said hesitantly on the other line. "I-I was—just checking to see how the proposal went."

Ritsu stiffened, and horror swept over his body. "Hold on, please," he said, and muted his cell phone. He tossed it onto his couch and grabbed a couch pillow, pressing his face into it and screaming as loud and hard as he could.

…I can't quit. Not now. I have too many people who need to rely on me. And because I let my personal life enter my professional life, I've left one of my authors hanging. That is unacceptable of me to do.

Ritsu finished his scream and dropped his pillow back onto the couch. He did a few breathing exercises and forced a smile. Mutou-sensei would hear his smile in his voice. Then he picked up his cell phone and sat down on the couch. "Sumimasen, Mutou-sensei. I didn't mean to leave you hanging. We have a lot we need to discuss."

No. He couldn't quit. He would leave too much undone if he quit now. He would have to make it work…no matter how painful it was.

I'll figure it out. I can't leave my authors hanging. I'll figure it out…but I really don't want to see Takano-san. Maybe ever again.

Ritsu felt pathetic to be moping in public at his age, but that was what he was doing.

Frowning deeply, Ritsu plucked a random book off its shelf and idly flipped through its pages. He'd deliberately chosen a bookstore far from Marukawa to avoid running into coworkers. But the sick feeling in his stomach hadn't faded.

Yesterday was Friday and he didn't leave his apartment, requesting to work remote instead. He was able to get his request confirmed without speaking to Takano, only sending a text message. Takano replied in the affirmative, but it was the only text he read from Takano; the rest were pleas for Ritsu to call him. Takano called, texted, and even knocked on his door. Ritsu didn't answer him. He didn't want to see Takano or hear his voice.

I can't believe Takano-san told Usami-sensei about our breakup. Ritsu bit down on his lower lip hard as he shoved the book back into its shelf and grabbed another. He could feel the tears coming again but he didn't want to cry in public. And I can't believe he denied it. Who else could have told Usami-sensei about it?! I've never called Sensei up to talk about my past relationships!

It was hurtful to Ritsu for the sheer fact that the breakup in the book had been virtually verbatim of his real-life breakup with Takano. It wasn't anybody's business what happened in his personal life, and yet his real-life, ugly breakup was now out there in the world for everybody to see! And everybody hated it and blamed HIM!

…Well, they blame the Ritsu in the story. But why is it, even in a fictional tale, that everything is all MY fault?! Even Takano-san blames me for Usami-sensei finding out about our breakup, even when I KNOW I didn't tell him!

"…Ritsu?"

Ritsu yelped at hearing an unfamiliar voice call out his name. He closed the book he was holding, idly noticing it was a cookbook, and looked to his left. "H-Hai?"

A young man was standing there; possibly three or four years younger than Ritsu. He was dressed in casual clothing, but it definitely looked like designer brands. From his light jacket right down to his sneakers. Even the thick sunglasses he wore looked like designer brand!

He was a peculiar man though, to Ritsu. The young man's hair was nearly the same shade as Ritsu's own hair color. And the hairstyle seemed…similar to Ritsu's own hairstyle as well.

Ritsu blinked in confusion. He didn't know this man, and he wondered why this person was wearing sunglasses indoors and had similar hair to his. "H-Hello," Ritsu said awkwardly.

"You're Ritsu, correct?" the young man asked him bluntly.

Ritsu bristled slightly at this stranger referring to him with such familiarity, but he forced himself to remain calm. "A-Aa, but who are you?"

"I knew it!" the young man suddenly shouted, startling Ritsu. "I can't believe it! I really can't believe it! I had a feeling you were a real person, and here you are!"

"W-W-W-W-What?!" Ritsu sputtered, taking a step back.

The young man quickly leaned in close to Ritsu's face, their foreheads almost touching. "You're the Ritsu from World's Greatest First Love."

Ritsu gasped in alarm, and jumped even further back. He could feel his whole face burning up. "W-W-Who are you?! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't you recognize me?" the young man pushed his sunglasses up to rest on top of his head. Ritsu's jaw dropped as he stared into the familiar face in front of him. "It's me—Moto Ran! Don't you watch the drama? I play you in the live-action drama!"

Ritsu sputtered out some useless gibberish for a few seconds. It was surreal to see an actor whose popularity had skyrocketed in a short period of time standing right in front of him and talking to him. Ritsu was at a complete loss of how to handle the situation. "Ah-uh-um-I-uh—"

"I had a feeling," Ran said, not at all fazed by Ritsu's demeanor. "When I first read World's Greatest First Love, that Ritsu and Masamune were real people. And when I saw you standing right here I couldn't believe it! I mean, you look exactly like you do in the books and in the anime! But I wasn't sure if it was really you, but I knew I had to make sure! This is incredible that I'm talking to the real Ri—"

"Yameno!" Ritsu cried out, rushing forward to cover Ran's mouth. "Please, please stop carrying on like this, Moto-san! I'm not who you think I am!"

"Of course you are," Ran said, pulling away slightly. "You answered me when I called you Ritsu, and I said how much you look like your book and anime counterparts. I know coincidences exist in the world, but this is too weird to be a coincidence! I mean, look at our hair!" he pointed to his own head

"It is a coincidence!" Ritsu insisted pitifully, wringing his hands a little. "W-While I'm flattered you think I'm more than what I am, I'm not THAT Ritsu!"

"Can I see your business card?" Ran asked, holding his hand out.

"Sure." Ritsu forgot himself for a moment and gave Ran one of his business cards.

"A-HA!" Ran shouted. He jabbed an index finger into the card. "Your kanji is the same! You really are the same person!"

"Please stop carrying on like this!" Ritsu snapped, glancing over his shoulder self-consciously. Ran didn't seem to care at all that they might be recognized, or that other customers might hear them. "I'm not that Ritsu! It's a coincidence! A crazy, HORRIBLE coincidence!"

"Hmmm…" Ran seemed to think about it for a second and he sank down into a kneeling position. His expression was unreadable and Ritsu kept looking over his shoulder. It looked like the female clerk was looking at them suspiciously, but he wasn't entirely sure.

"All right," Ran said finally, looking up at Ritsu. "I believe you."

"R-Really?!" Ritsu cried out, unable to hide his relief.

"It was wishful thinking, but I understand that it can't be real," Ran said, shrugging as he stood back. "After all, nobody's that stupid."

"Exac—WHAT?!" Ritsu sputtered.

"There's no way anybody on earth can be as stupid as that Ritsu," Ran said casually. "I mean, who on earth would think their lover didn't love them over a silly laugh? Masamune shared his body with Ritsu, dated him, and told Ritsu he loved him. No logical, sensible person would jump to the conclusion that their lover didn't love them because of a laugh. Only idiots would be that bli—"

"EXCUSE me," Ritsu snapped with anger. "But don't go making assumptions about people when you don't know the whole story! I had a LOT of reasons to believe he didn't love me, and you—" Ritsu broke off sharply, and felt the color drain from his face.

Ran smirked. "I knew it. You are Ritsu!" He pulled a copy of volume one of World's Greatest First Love out of his bag and thrust it at Ritsu. "Can I have your autograph, Ritsu?"

Ritsu's jaw hung open, but his shoulders slumped with defeat. He was too mortified to see the irony of an incredibly famous actor asking him for an autograph. Someone please kill me…