Unspoken
Masumi's curiosity was pure.
Masumi often thought that her eldest brother was the more compromising party between her and her cousin. With a little patience and gentleness, he gave everything to the other party, even if the other party asked for too much, even Masumi thought it could embarrass her eldest brother, but the moonlight decorated his face, his eyelashes were lowered, and he stared at the half-lit cigarette in his hand. After a while, he whispered to her.
Masumi still didn't understand.
She didn't understand that her cousin also felt the same way. So, every time she asked her how she felt about her eldest brother, Shiho just smiled lightly, held the watering can in her hand, and sprayed the water droplets evenly onto the roses. The flowers were given to Shiho by her eldest brother. He was covered in dust and had a wound on his shoulder. He was very tired, but he was still holding on. He took the flower from behind his back and handed it to her. Even the gunpowder-smelling roses were well received and cared for by her.
Masumi couldn't get an answer from either side. So, she went to ask their friend, Shinichi Kudo, a Japanese high school detective and now has his own detective agency.
She was sitting on the sofa, the tea leaves were floating, and the rich aroma was spreading, but Masumi wasn't in the mood for tea.
She tried to guess.
Honestly, she didn't understand.
The word love was a bit harsh if placed between them, but they were doing what lovers should do. If it was just a cousin, it didn't seem enough to conclude it was the same as Masumi as a sister, but Masumi had never received a tape, and a rose with bomb fragments.
It must have hurt to get a bullet in the shoulder, but why was her brother smiling happily, and her cousin taking his flowers, but still reprimanding him for being an idiot.
Shinichi Kudo sat across from Masumi and said with a smile, "isn't that the answer?." In the end he said something she hated the most. "Sera-san, you won't understand now, but you will always know the answer." He said those last words to her as she left.
She honestly had no interest in exploring their relationship, and her mother was silent about it. It seemed like they had everything and nothing between them.
When Masumi went to Japan, there was a problem with the house she rented, so she had to stay with her cousin, and of course Masumi saw her eldest brother all the time.
Her cousin didn't like turning on the lights at night. So, she just stood on the balcony, wearing a satin sash, lying on the cool railing. The wind blew quietly. The wind on summer nights was always hot and humid, the streets were full of traffic, and the city lights were like stars.
If her brother came home, he would stand beside her cousin, just being silent, then her heart filled with sin. Masumi peeked at them from her bedroom. The answers to the questions Masumi was looking for seemed to be coming out, but nothing happened. Her big brother just stood at a distance, her cousin turning to speak to her after a while.
"A new restaurant has opened in Ginza."
"Hmm."
"Let's take Masumi to eat next time."
"Yeah."
Hearing her name, she was a little surprised. Masumi hadn't expected her cousin to include her name in this category.
Shiho had few friends around her, and she was used to being alone. At first she used to accompany Masumi, but she had been getting busier with her work lately. Shiho leaned against him, his arm embracing her gently, they sat silently in the dark, only hearing the whistle of the car outside the window, his hands were as cold as ice. How could he cover her with his warmth, but made himself a mess
At this time, she would think of her big brother for no reason. As long as the work is finished soon, Shuichi Akai will always go home. Sometimes her cousin would fall asleep with her big brother. Her brother gently and carefully hugged her cousin, and used the moonlight visible light. His mouth said to her, go to the room and rest.
In fact, her brother did not feel tired. On the contrary, he was very happy to have a little relationship with her cousin. He was not as cold and inhuman as an outsider might seem. Instead, he cared too much for everyone. Masumi thought.
Her cousin asked if this dish was delicious, and her eldest brother also looked at her, his eyes wanting to find a trace of reaction from her delicate expression.
Masumi said, it was delicious as expected from Shiho's choice. Her cousin also smiled with a happy expression on her face, and her eldest brother almost smiled, if not for the new scar on his face.
Masumi lived in her cousin's house, and for the first time she felt that her cousin was actually her relative. Masumi lay on the same bed as her cousin, she was by her side, touching her hair, breathing gently. She told her about her work and interestingly. She opened her ice blue eyes, her eyelashes flickered, and she also talked about the work.
It was one of the few moments when Masumi got to know her life and seemed to dedicate a lot of time to researching.
Workaholic, she said with a smile.
Her big brother was also a workaholic, and he had missed several appointments. She lay next to her, talking about her big brother for the first time, and Masumi stared at her, waiting for the next paragraph.
But she had no hope of dating. She said again.
Masumi looked up at the ceiling, and her cousin was talking about how funny and awkward the newcomers to the company were, which was annoying but inevitable.
She escaped and returned to her other question, looking at the bullet marks on the ceiling and asking the question again.
"How do you feel about Shu-nii?"
There was no answer. Silence replaced everything, and time passed so long that Masumi thought she was asleep before she spoke softly.
"I want to die with him."
At least she didn't run away from the question, but Masumi wasn't about to ask further.
Her eldest brother was seriously injured, lying in a hospital bed. When he opened his eyes, his first words was "Shiho," the second was "Masumi can you contact Shiho?".
Masumi couldn't reach her cousin. She seemed to be very busy, or she just didn't want to face him. Masumi only knew her cousin's story now from Shinichi Kudo, she could also guess why her cousin didn't want to see her eldest brother. She would have thought, if she was a little more callous, maybe she meant that the two of them would be a little more relaxed.
But Masumi was wrong. At night, fewer people came to the hospital. Her eldest brother was recovering after lying down for a few days. Shiho pressed her face into his chest, like a child.
"Can I get a kiss, my princess."
Masumi heard her eldest brother say that.
Masumi had never heard her eldest brother address her cousin so gently, unlike the man with the sniper rifle who could use the people around him to achieve his goals.
Masumi thought her cousin would shut up, but without thinking about it, she lowered her head and kissed her eldest brother lightly. Her eldest brother grabbed her neck and grabbed her hair, almost greedily kissing her without preamble, until they parted breathlessly.
Masumi turned her head to the side from every angle that could see them, she got her answer quietly.
It was only today that Masumi realized that it was the woman who had granted her eldest brother's wishes. Their story happened quietly at night, like their emotions were left behind, and they would climb wildly.
Masumi only glimpsed the angle of their relationship, she was a little worried, and the answers to some questions didn't seem so important.
Her eldest brother was still leaning on her cousin's arm. Her cousin was like stroking a cat, but it was relatively large, with scars on his body, and the place in his heart was very small, so small that only one person could stand.
They deserve hell. Her cousin said that to her eldest brother.
Her eldest brother's expression light, and her cousin's eyes full of tears. Masumi stood in the middle, confused.
They were arguing, and she didn't know the beginning of the argument, hearing the sound of glass breaking on the board, and then Masumi was already standing between them.
No one spoke, and there was another damned silence.
Her eldest brother squatted down to pick up the broken glass, and her cousin grabbed his hand in panic, but her eldest brother persisted, and her cousin didn't stop him.
"Shuichi Akai, am I wrong to tell you?. Is there a reason why you don't love my sister?. Did you really forget my sister completely?. How could you!?."
This is the first time Masumi saw her cousin cry. She was so fragile, feeling that the ice cubes in her arms suddenly melted, and a chill ran down her clothes.
Masumi hurriedly took a broom and said to her big brother, she is coming.
Her eldest brother stood there, his hair blocking his eyes.
She picked up the glass shard, and brought out a trash bag and said to them.
"Problems must be communicated and resolved properly."
For the first time, Masumi felt more mature in front them.
Masumi takes out the trash and does not return to her cousin's house. The lights in the house suddenly turned on. She walked on the road aimlessly. For some reason, she went down to the famous detective office and the lights came on, pushed open the door.
Shinichi Kudo doesn't sleep and is still working on his case. He looked at her and said confidently.
"You know the answer."
"Did you know it?." Masumi asked.
"No. As long as I associate with them for a long time, I can see it naturally." He answered confidently.
She was sitting on the couch talking about what happened tonight.
He was not surprised to say that the woman was like this. Her sister is too important to her. Actually, she is a coward who is afraid to love and be loved.
Masumi says she wants to go to hell with her eldest brother. She said while holding the teacup.
The detective sighed, shook his head. She felt that they betrayed her sister like this, and they were sinners. She obviously forgave a lot of people, but she refused to let herself go, and Akai did the same.
But in other words, they are together in hell.
She seemed to be trying to make a joke, but it didn't have the desired effect.
Masumi rested in the detective's office for one night. When she came home the next day, she saw her eldest brother coming out of her cousin's room. He got dressed and said goodbye to her.
Her cousin was huddled under the blanket, showing only a small forehead and a few strands of hair. It was the first time she had stayed in a bed like this.
The problem seemed to be solved, Masumi thought, but somehow she didn't want to know at all.
Her eldest brother was rarely home, and her cousin made no mention of what happened that night or where Masumi had gone, as if it had never happened.
Summer hasn't passed yet, her cousin still likes to sunbathe on the balcony, this time she's also by her side.
"Go to New York," she said.
Her cousin tilted her head and stared with a smile. She's a little shy.
But in New York she had no friends. Did she not change the subject, it's rarely, she said.
Masumi patted her chest and said "I can accompany you, and I am also your friend."
"Thank you, Masumi" she said lightly, neither agreeing nor rejecting.
There were still a few days before she left Japan. Her eldest brother left the day before, even though he really didn't want to go.
The day before her eldest brother left, he appeared at home for the first time. She was working on paperwork in the bedroom. The room was not well insulated. Masumi heard the sound of books falling to the ground. She opened the door carefully seeing her eldest brother holding her cousin. She was smaller in the arms of his eldest brother. She took a closer look and saw that their clothes were thrown on the ground.
The eldest brother leaned on the side and kissed the corner of her cousin's eye, he almost begged, "Come with me, Shiho."
Her cousin's words shattered into pieces, she grabbed her eldest brother's back with her hands, and then went down, she suddenly withdrew her gaze, her face flushed, and Masumi rejected her curiosity.
Masumi was just about to close the door when she heard her eldest brother say it again.
"Even in hell, I will accompany you."
Two fools. The troubles of the dead are in the past, and the living must look forward, trapping themselves in vain in their own nets, and struggling to exhaust their strength.
The eldest brother wasn't in the room in the morning, and the cousin was still wrapping herself up. Masumi seemed to think that the shaking of the bed boards and the constant breathing were her imagination last night.
Her cousin didn't go to see her eldest brother, but was outside the airport watching the plane take off without saying goodbye, and silently watching the plane continue to climb.
"Go to New York," she said again.
The sun is shining in New York, and summer is coming to an end. She was sitting in her office, the computer beeped twice, and received two emails.
The letter from her eldest brother, he said that she planned to teach at a school in New York, and her body seemed overwhelmed. He wrote in a casual tone, few people knew how she came here all these years.
The letter came from her cousin. She said thank you. She said before that it was important because she was with her in New York. She also received an invitation from a research institute. The salary is good, and the project is also very interesting. Maybe the president will live in New York.
She responded quickly to them.
The sun is shining from behind, the night in Japan seems too long, and it is easy to remind people of the past, and the sunshine in New York is very bright during the day.
Their story will continue under the sunshine, Masumi thought.
She already had the answer to her question. If anyone asked her this question, she also would say it.
"You still don't understand."
Masumi had never seen her eldest brother who was always cunning and firm leaning into someone's arms with a child-like fragile body. She had never seen her cousin standing on the balcony, sitting on the sofa quietly waiting for the eldest brother to return, agreeing to her eldest brother's request.
They love each other in pain and misery.