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The stories behind the scars were still fresh in his mind.

He and Olivia had been dating for four months, sleeping together near the same. Despite trying to take things slow, they both found themselves unable to hold back on that front. And since the first time, he'd seen the scars. He didn't bring them up, didn't ask about them after she asked him not to. That she would tell him eventually. He knew eventually would be a mark in their relationship where she was confident in them, confident with him. He was staying, and now she believed it. He just didn't think that moment of relief, of solidarity, would be clouded by a battlefield of trauma she walked through for him last night.

She recounted each scar, visible and hidden, for him. Trembled as she admitted to what she had witnessed, to the feeling that tipped her over the edge of no return. Confessed that she had been broken by the monster who dared lay hands on her. And at the end, she said the one thing she probably had never said to anyone else. "I just wanted you."

He held her, wiped her tears even as she wiped away his. God love her, she still wanted him. And, he'd be sure she knew he wanted her everyday of his life. She fell asleep tangled in him, mumbling to him that she may have a nightmare and not to worry if she did. He held her close, closing his eyes but never falling asleep. His rage prevented it, and his concern and determination to help her if she did have a nightmare outweighed the need for rest.

Luckily, she didn't have a nightmare, only stirred in his arms long enough to snuggle closer. And while he silently murdered the monster in his mind about five hundred and sixty-two ways, he was greeted with her smile in the morning, calming the storm brewing for the time being. Honestly, he was thankful he got to see her face before starting his day. If he had a choice at the end of his life, she'd be the last person he'd set eyes on.

When she stood from his bed and nervously asked if he'd like to join her in the shower, he knew she was doing it for a few reasons. One, she wanted to be sure he still saw her and not the trauma, that she was still attractive to him. Two, she probably felt the tension in his body all night even in her sleep and wanted to get him to relax before leaving him alone. Three, who could turn down shower sex when five people could fit in his shower?

He grinned at her and nearly jumped out of bed, dragging her giggling form in the bathroom and showing her that his view and attraction of her wasn't going to change over anything she'd been through or told him.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Olivia asked as she stirred her coffee in his kitchen.

Elliot met her eyes over the counter, seeing the concern etched on her face. "I'm sure I got some." He leaned over and pecked her lips when she gave him a look he knew meant she felt guilty for telling him. "Doesn't matter when or how you told me, Liv. Thinking about you hurt will keep me up every night if I let it. There are moments from when we were partners that still haunt me. I just need to process."

Olivia nodded. "You're right. But, that does mean process, not doing something stupid because you're angry about what happened."

"Yes, dear." Elliot mused, earning a swat to his shoulder. And, he meant it. What he planned was something he'd never deem stupid.

Once she left to run a few errands before picking up Noah, he resisted the urge to destroy his place with his fists as he looked up how long it would take him to head up to Riker's. If William Lewis even had a shred of happiness behind those concrete walls, Elliot would be sure to rip it from the fingers he intended to cripple if Olivia hadn't with the metal bar she mentioned the night before.

Within ten minutes, he was in his car and heading out of the city. He wasn't on the road more than fifteen minutes though when Kathleen's name popped up on the screen of his phone. "Hey honey, how are you?"

"I'm guessing better than you." Kathleen admonished him. "Olivia texted me to check in on you, said you might let your anger get the better of you. Not sure what about."

"My anger is justified." Elliot stated sternly. "If you knew, you wouldn't be about to lecture me."

Kathleen sighed. "She told you about Lewis, didn't she?"

Elliot's eyes widened. "You know?"

"It's been all over the internet. Those true crime podcasts have been having a field day with it." Kathleen explained. "I was listening to a channel a while ago and I stumbled onto the episode that went over her case. I didn't listen to it, but the title said enough for me to reach out. I've been helping alert her so Noah doesn't come across any of the videos. No kid needs to know things like that, especially about a parent. I'm a grown adult, and I don't want to know. So, I can only imagine what you're thinking of doing after hearing what happened and knowing Olivia is the one who went through it."

Elliot teared up, his heart breaking even more thinking about Olivia stressing over something she should no longer have to think about. "He's still hurting her, Kathleen. What she went through, nobody else could survive that."

Kathleen choked up hearing her father's emotions strangle his voice. "I believe that, but just take a breath, Dad. Don't do something that will make you break your promise."

"What promise?" Elliot wiped at his eyes, trying to think of promises he'd made to his kids.

"That you'd never leave her again." Kathleen breathed. "Show her you aren't leaving and pull over the car."

Elliot's eyes widened. "Pull over-" He glanced in his rearview mirror, shoulders dropping when he saw Olivia driving her SUV with Kathleen in the passenger seat. The call ended when he put on his blinker, pulling over to the side of the road. He climbed out as Olivia pulled over behind him a ways and climbed out herself, teary eyes meeting each other. "I wasn't going to break my promise."

Olivia nodded. "I know you believe that. But, you getting arrested and spending your life behind bars over somebody like that is leaving me."

Elliot shook his head. "I can't just let him sit in prison, Liv. I need to do something to him. He needs to feel every ounce of pain he put you through. I don't care how long it takes."

"I agree." Olivia sniffled, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets.

"Do you know what I did last night?" Elliot frowned. "I thought of all the ways I wanted to hurt him, compared different ways to kill him to figure out what way would be the most painful. It doesn't scare me that I want to destroy him. That I want to rip him limb from limb and put him back together just to do it all over again. Liv, I've never wanted to end somebody's life more."

Olivia's tears fell freely. "I know the feeling."

"Then, let me. Tell me to go. Tell me to hurt him, to kill him, to make him wish for his own death." Elliot pleaded. "Just tell me to do it, Liv. I'll do anything and everything you want me to do to him."

Olivia smiled sadly. "What I want. . .I want him to suffer for all eternity. No moments of relief, no unburdening of complete utter terror. A terror so strong it feels like he can't feel anything else ever again. To hallucinate about those he loves, if he ever cared for anyone, and those comforts to be ripped away."

"I can manage that." Elliot nodded, determined. "I can. I'll find a way."

"I know you would." Olivia cupped his face in her hands. "I know those fists of yours I bandage would be bloody the rest of our days if you ever got your hands on him, because I know you'd never think any amount of pain or suffering would be enough."

Elliot's own tears fell. "It wouldn't. Not for what he did to all the others, but especially not for what he did to you." He sniffled himself. "I love you more than anything, and he hurt you more than anybody. That means it's my job to bring more pain to him than even he can imagine. That's my duty as your partner, for better or worse."

"You, El, are everything to me, and maybe that God of yours had a plan with him back then so that you'd be only mine now." Olivia breathed, pecking his lips. "If God's involved, so is the devil. That's where he would be if he's anywhere."

Elliot frowned. "Where he would be? What do you mean?"

Olivia sighed. "I had another run in with Lewis." She spoke again quickly seeing his head drop. "El, baby, look at me."

"Twice." Elliot whispered. "He got to you twice, and I didn't stop it." He dropped to his knees, hugging her waist as he buried his face against her belly. "How can I believe in a God if he let you fall into those clutches twice?"

Olivia bit her lip. "Uh, the second time I actually met him." She felt his arms tighten, his body tense. "I had to go."

Elliot stood up, gaze hardened. "Had to go? Their better be a hell of a reason why you had to meet that sick-"

"He kidnapped a little girl, El." Olivia interrupted. She'd been chewed out by Cragen, by her friends, by 1PP for meeting up with Lewis. She knew Elliot would be no different. "He was going to torture, rape, and kill her if I didn't go." She saw the turmoil in his eyes, the information failing to digest. "Do you need to hit something, scream? I can grab-"

"If I let go of you, I will breakdown, and I don't think that's best for either of us right now." Elliot gritted out as softly as he could manage. "I understand why you did it, but, Liv, that was a death wish mission that you are lucky you lived through."

Olivia nodded as her eyes scrunched up. "I know." She clutched onto Elliot's jacket when he pulled her to his chest. "He wanted to rape me in front of the little girl. Handcuffed me to a table, restrained my legs. I couldn't move."

"Breathe, baby." Elliot whispered, rubbing a hand up and down the center of her back.

Olivia pressed her face into his neck. "I didn't react. I froze, and he couldn't do it. Couldn't go through with it when I wouldn't scream or cry. So, he grabbed the gun and decided we would play a game."

Elliot held her tighter. "And, he lost?"

"The proof of his loss splattered across my face. He ended it knowing he couldn't take me with him." Olivia stated.

Elliot buried his nose in her hair. "I'm going to write a letter to the Pope. If you aren't deserving of Saint status, I'm converting."

Olivia chuckled into his collar before pulling back to meet his eyes, letting him wipe the tears from her face. She was happy for the out he provided to escape the darkness looming over them. "You're not still mad?"

"Oh, I'm mad." Elliot corrected her. "But, I can understand why you did it. If you hadn't, I know it would've eaten you up if that little girl got hurt." He dropped his forehead to hers. "You're going to wreck me though, Benson. Don't pull stunts like that when you've got a family who loves you waiting for you at home."

"Ditto." Olivia pecked his lips before burrowing back into his chest.

"Aw!" Kathleen's voice broke their bubble, making them both turn to her. "That's so cute and alarmingly disturbed."

Olivia laughed as Elliot grinned himself. "Don't overthink it. We're both somewhat in therapy now. Just get over here and hug your father and I."

Kathleen rushed over, smiling as she was wrapped up in the partner's arms. "Did you two know you are exhausting? Worth it, but exhausting."

"Ha ha." Elliot muttered. "Real riot act. I'll give you Fin's number. You two can bond over it."

"I'm sure." Kathleen smirked. "How about you two go decompress? Liv, I can pick up Noah and bring him by Dad's later. I'll take him out for ice cream or something."

Olivia was about to argue but closed her mouth when Kathleen fished her car keys out of her pocket. "Thanks, Kathleen."

"Happy to do it." Kathleen smiled. "And, maid of honor. Just throwing it out there."

Elliot frowned as his daughter walked away, his girlfriend giggling into his chest. "Maid of honor?"

"Your daughter has called dibbs on the role for when we get married apparently." Olivia rolled her eyes. "Nearly drenched by car in coffee I hit the brakes so hard."

Elliot barked out a laugh. "I would've paid to see that." He pecked her lips again. "I will ask you to marry me though eventually."

"But, not yet." Olivia confirmed, relaxing when Elliot nodded. "Good. Can we go home?"

"My place?" Elliot raised his eyebrows.

Olivia nodded. "I'm taking you to bed."

"Oh, really?" Elliot grinned with a wag of his eyebrows.

"So you can sleep." Olivia smirked.

Elliot's face dropped. "Oh." He frowned when she took his keys from his pocket now, tugging him towards his car. "Do I really have to go to sleep?"

Olivia shook her head with an eye roll. "You're worse than the kids. Yes," she pushed him towards the passenger door, "but I'll lay with you if that makes you feel better."

"Like you weren't going to lay with me anyway." Elliot mumbled, winking at her before they both climbed into his car.

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