Disclaimers: Naruto is someone else's, this is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, graphic adult themes, violence, angst, a good friend, and eventually yaoi love. This chapter includes suicidal thoughts and attempt. Please do not read if this is triggering for you.

Hard to Read:

Chapter 3

--

Naruto leapt past the village and travelled deep into the forest, away from curious eyes and questions he couldn't answer. He just.. couldn't. He knew that Sai just wanted to help. He had been gravitating towards Naruto for a while now, eager to be his friend- and to learn what that meant. But Naruto wasn't sure he could let anyone else in right now. He didn't want people to get close to him. Didn't want them to see who he was now.

Naruto was dead. He was just the shell. Empty, lifeless yet forced to exist- just going through the motions without actually living them. Living meant feeling, and Sai was right. All Naruto could feel now was pain.

He'd rather be numb.

So he shut everyone out. And kept his silence. But it was destroying him. Every day this crushing weight on his chest got heavier- harder to ignore. His mind felt like a bee hive- constantly buzzing, a cacophony of sound getting louder and louder until he was on the brink of madness. And he couldn't stop remembering. It just kept flashing through his mind- violent and insistent, no matter how hard he tried to block it out. Some days he could even feel it..

All of it.

And he just couldn't take it anymore. There's only so much a person can go through, he thought, before they are just.. done.

Naruto moved through the woods until he was on the outskirts of it, Konohagakure far enough away that he knew he wouldn't have to face anyone. He was alone. He dropped down onto a fallen log, reached into his pouch and took out a kunai and a sharpening stone.

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be here anymore..

It echoed in his head on repeat, the words getting louder, more frantic. He bit his lip, hard, as he ran the edge of his kunai down the stone. A tear slipped down his cheek and he angrily wiped it away. Don't. Please. Please don't.. just stay numb. Just for a little bit longer.

Just a little longer.

Naruto checked the blade's edge, not satisfied until it was sharp enough to slice through the pad of his thumb. He watched the blood slip down and settle into the palm of his hand. He looked down at it for a while, his last comforting touch. Then he spun the kunai in his hand and brought it up to his throat.

He held it at an angle, preparing himself. He wanted to make sure he cut deep enough, and that he sliced across fast. He wanted a quick end. Naruto pushed the blade firmly against his throat, feeling a line of blood slip down his neck from the place where it had already pierced the skin. He felt a rush of relief, knowing that it was going to be sharp enough. Then he took a final breath, and-

"NARUTO!!"

A sharp voice cut through the silence of the forest and the screaming in the blonde's head. He thought he had imagined it at first and refocused his mind on the task at hand, pressing the kunai a little deeper as he readied himself, when a hand roughly grabbed his wrist and jerked it away from his throat. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!!"

Naruto opened his eyes and found deep crimson ones glaring down at him. His breath caught in his throat, fear rushing through him. He shook his head, tried to pull away, but the hand tightened, keeping him there. He could feel himself shaking. "No.." he breathed out.

Those eyes changed, fading into a deep obsidian filled with concern and confusion. "Naruto..?"

The blonde's fight or flight finally kicked in. He ripped his arm free and shoved the Uchiha back as hard as he could. He scrambled to his feet, and threw a fistful of kunai at him, but his target dodged them.

"What the hell?!"

"Don't fucking touch me" Naruto ground out, his voice low, filled with malice. "Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!" he screamed, filling the clearing with armed Narutos.

"Dammit, Naruto! Will you fucking snap out of it?!" But he didn't hear him. He couldn't hear anything past the screams in his mind, the sound of the man's voice, the pain.. "I'll fucking kill you!!" he screamed, and his shadow clones rushed in.

Onyx eyes widened and, left with no other choice, he activated his sharingan again. He brought down every clone's attack, working his way closer to the original. When he had his eyes set on him, he shifted out of view, and before Naruto could defend himself, he appeared directly in front of him.

Cerulean eyes widened. No..

Then the Uchiha shoved him back, forcing him against a tree on the edge of the clearing. Naruto lifted his hands to do another jutsu, but he grabbed a wrist and forced it above his head, pinning it against the rough bark. He let the sharingan fade away as he stepped close. "Naruto!!"

He blinked, finally hearing the voice pierce through his thoughts. "Sasuke..?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" the raven snapped.

Naruto just stared. "What.. what are you doing here?" he asked quietly.

"Keeping you from fucking killing yourself apparently" he growled out, enraged. "Why are you doing this?!"

Naruto struggled to pull free of his grasp, but the raven just bore down on him. Naruto lifted his head, locking onto dark eyes that still caused a flicker of fear to surge through him. "Let go."

"Answer me, Naruto." Sasuke's eyes burned into him. "Why would you do this?"

"What the fuck do you care?!!" Naruto screamed. He felt a lump lodge in the back of his throat, and forced it back down. He turned his face away, blinking back the tears under a curtain of blonde hair. "You haven't had anything to do with me in years, Sasuke. You have no fucking right to ask me that."

Naruto snapped his head up to glare at him again. He tightened his jaw. "Now- Let. Go."

Sasuke studied him. This was not a side of Naruto he had ever seen, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. He felt that he was on the edge of something important, that this was a pivotal moment. But he didn't know how he should handle it. On one side, he had every intention of carrying out his vengeance and destroying the village that had caused so much pain, but on the other..

He thought about seeing Naruto with that blade against his throat, and he felt an intense need to know why the only friend he has ever had would try to take his own life.

Sasuke looked back at the furious blonde, at the pain hidden deep in those huge blue eyes, at the fear flickering through them. Something tightened in his chest, and he knew his mind was made up.

"I can't do that, Naruto."