A/N: So I wasn't gonna write a finale spec oneshot, but I couldn't get the promo out of my head, and I need a distraction from some stuff I'm waiting on in my personal life. Therefore, I have caved and written a oneshot. This is not a death fic. I promise. Trigger warning for near-death experience, gunshot/violence apply. Please proceed with caution. Thank you 13Starbuck42 for beta reading :)

As long as he lived, Elliot knew he would never get the sound of Olivia's piercing wail (and the gunshot that caused it) or the sound of her hitting the ground out of his head.

"I'm hit. Elliot, I'm hit," she whimpered and there was blood pooling alarmingly quick, seeping through her white shirt onto the ground. "Fuck, it hurts."

He called for a bus, his panic-stricken voice telling them SVU's Captain had been shot and to hurry.

She failed not to sob as the pain intensified and before she could say anything else, Elliot hovered over her, his big, warm, gentle hands cradling hers, and he begged her to stay with him as he tore his jacket off and pressed it against her wound.

Olivia screamed again, and Elliot made no effort to hide his own tears at the love of his life's distress. "Shh, I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I gotta try to stop the bleeding, ok?" He pressed harder, hating himself when she groaned in pain. "I know it hurts. I know. Help is on the way. Everything's gonna be alright. I gotcha. Stay with me."

He couldn't lose her. He refused to even consider that he might.

"El," she reached for his hand and he squeezed, stroking his thumb across her knuckles.

"I'm right here, Olivia. I swear to God I'm right here." He leaned down and kissed a few tears away, aiming to soothe her, but she just cried harder.

Where the fuck was their backup? And where the fuck was that bus?

"If I don't make it through this-" her voice was getting quieter and terror gripped his heart.

"Don't talk like that." He growled through a sob. "Don't you dare talk like you're dying because you're not. This isn't the end. You're not gonna die. I won't let you."

"I'm scared." She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the feeling of her body being torn to shreds or the metallic taste in her mouth. "Not ready to die. Don't wanna leave Noah. Don't wanna leave you. I'm not ready."

Elliot shook his head and clenched his jaw. His movements were harsh but his words were soft. "You aren't gonna die, sweetheart."

"You don't know that. I don't wanna be alone. If this is it-"

"You're not alone and this isn't it. You hear me?" Her grip on his hand started to loosen. "No! Damnit, Liv, stay awake! You gotta hold on for me! Just a little longer I promise."

She opened her eyes long enough to look at him once more as she gasped, "C-can't."

Elliot sobbed in relief when he heard sirens and their squads rushed into the room followed by paramedics.

"What the hell happened?" Fin knelt beside Elliot, tearing off his own jacket to press against Olivia's stomach.

Elliot used his free hand to stroke her hair, hoping to make her feel as calm and safe as possible in that moment. "Bastard shot her. I don't know where he went. I just- my focus was on her."

"'Course it was. We'll get him, Stabler."

"She's lost so much blood, Fin," he choked out. "I can't- she has to make it-"

"She will. Liv's a fighter."

Olivia turned her face into Elliot's hand; blood, saliva and tears coated his palm when she coughed weakly. "El- Elliot I need-"

Fresh tears fell from his eyes, and Fin was struggling to hold it together himself. Elliot squeezed her hand tighter when she started to drift off again. He spoke to her frantically, trying to keep her alert. "What baby? What do you need? Tell me. It's ok. Look at me."

Her eyes were glassy when she tried to look at him, out of focus.

His partner was fading before him, and he was struggling to be strong for her.

"Come on, Liv. Whatever you need I'll give it to you. You know I will." He would give her the goddamn world if she survived.

"Need you to- to take care of Noah if I don't-"

"Liv-"

"Elliot, please!"

"I will." It killed him to say it, but if the worst were about to happen, he wanted her to feel comfort in her final moments. "I will, and so will you because you're gonna make it through this. You're the strongest person I know. You're gonna see your boy again, and I'm gonna be right by your side, partner."

The moment the paramedics lifted her onto the gurney and her hand was pulled from his, Elliot nearly broke down. "I'm riding with her."

"Sir you can't-"

"I'm riding with her! She needs me, damnit!" He was ready to shove anyone out of his way that he needed to.

"Are you her next of kin?"

"I am," Fin spoke up, thankfully. "This is Elliot Stabler. He's her partner and probably one of the only reasons she hasn't given up on breathing yet. Let him on."

Both men boarded the ambulance, holding Olivia's hands tightly while the medics worked.

"El-"

"Right here, baby. I'm right here." He didn't care that she'd probably kick his ass for calling her baby when she'd told him she wasn't ready. He was running out of time with her and wanted her to know she was loved.

"T-tell Noah I love him."

"You're gonna tell him that."

Her grip on his hand was barely there now, and he brought her hand to his lips, kissing it repeatedly.

"T-tired. So tired."

"Shh,. Just a little longer and then you can rest at the hospital, ok?"

"And cold, El. I'm cold."

He was losing her.

She turned her head to find her partner, who looked like his world was ending. "I wanna go to sleep, Elliot."

Elliot was borderline hysterical, his voice small as he fought back more tears. "I know. I know you do, but you can't. Not yet. You gotta hold on. Please hold on."

"I love you, Elliot."

It should've brought him comfort. It should have, but it didn't.

Instead, it sounded like a goodbye, and there was nothing comforting about watching helplessly as the woman he had loved for a quarter of a century lay dying from a bullet he had failed to protect her from.

There was nothing comforting about watching her die period because he couldn't fathom it. He couldn't survive in a world where Olivia Benson was dead. He would cease to exist himself, he was sure of it.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, her soft lips. It wasn't a long kiss (he wasn't sure how much oxygen she had left), but he couldn't hold back anymore. "I love you so fucking much, Olivia Benson. I love you. I always have."

She didn't respond and her eyes were closed; she still had a pulse, but he felt like he was about to stop breathing.

"I know I hurt you when I left, and I'm so sorry," Elliot continued. "I promise I will explain everything. I'll tell you anything you wanna know. I've been a shit partner and a shit friend, and I will spend the rest of my life making up for it, but you gotta know that I didn't stop loving you. You are everything to me and there's no one else, and-" he swallowed the tears clogging his throat. "When you wake up you're gonna kick my ass for being such a sap," a watery chuckle escaped him. "Yeah, you're gonna kick my ass for a lot of stuff, and I'm gonna let you, cause I deserve it."

"And I can't wait to watch that," Fin, who had been silent for most of the ride, joked across from him.

Elliot ignored him, focusing solely on the shallow rise and fall of Olivia's chest. When her vitals started dropping, he snapped at the medics. "There's gotta be something you can do! What the hell are you standing around for? Save her!"

"Sir, your wife has lost too much blood, and we don't know-"

Elliot ignored the fact that he'd been mistaken for Olivia's husband and stretched his arm out. "She's A positive, we're a match! Take it!"

"We need to make sure-"

"I don't give a fuck what you need! You take every drop of blood I have if it means she will live! You got that!?"

Fin thankfully chimed in. "I would listen to him if I were you."

Elliot didn't even register the needle going into his arm. He felt numb as he watched his blood being transferred to Olivia's veins, and sobbed again when he saw the color begin to return to her face and felt her squeeze his hand.

"There she is. That's my girl." Her groan of pain in response tore at his soul. "Shh, we're almost there. Almost to the hospital and they're gonna help you feel better. You just gotta hold on a little longer. Keep breathing for me. That's it. That's my Liv." He brushed away the tears that poured from her eyes and tried to smile through his own, comforting her as best as he could.

"She's got Stabler blood in her now. She's even more stubborn."

Elliot choked out a laugh at Fin's remark and moved his free hand to cup Olivia's cheek, leaning over her so he could see her eyes. "Hey, there's those beautiful dime-sized pupils. We're gonna go somewhere when this is all over. You, me, and Noah. Wherever you wanna go, baby. Do you want me to take you to the Bahamas?"

"Cassidy already did that." Her voice was quiet, but it was the sweetest sound in the world to him.

"Ok, how about Paris?"

"Went there with Ed, and I don't wanna go to Rome either."

Elliot's tearful smile widened; his partner was still in there somewhere. "You just tell me where you wanna go, sweetheart. I'll take you anywhere. You wanna go to the fucking moon I'll find a way to get you there. You just gotta hold on."

"King of the moon…" Olivia whispered, eyelids fluttering.

He had no idea what she meant and because she had mumbled it he thought he might've misheard her, but there was a strange look on her face. He brushed her hair back from her forehead. "Alright partner, we'll go to the moon. I'll call NASA the minute you are all healed."

She closed her eyes again. "Don't wanna be the king of the moon anymore."

Elliot wasn't sure if she was remembering a negative memory or if the blood loss had made her delirious, but he quickly changed the subject to try and soothe her. "You know when Cragen first told me I had a new partner and introduced me to you I thought you seemed too good, too pure to be in a place like SVU. I thought 'she's only gonna last a week,' but no. It was maybe our second case together, seeing you with the victim, how hard you fought for them. Don asked me how things were going, and I told him 'Benson's going places. She's the toughest out of all of us.'"

"Hmm."

"Yeah. I'm so proud of you. So damn proud. You're a better cop, a better person, than I could dream of being. You're incredible, Olivia. Not just on the job, I know Noah couldn't ask for a better mother."

The ambulance pulled to a stop in front of the hospital, and Elliot tried to get the doctors to let him go back into the OR with her. "I can't leave her. I promised I wouldn't."

"Come on, Stabler. Let them help her." Both Fin and Ayanna had to pull him back.

He kissed her again and rested his forehead against hers. "I love you so much, and I'm gonna be right here when you get out of surgery, ok? I'm not leaving."

Olivia reached for him when he started to walk away, and it took everything in him not to beg the doctors to let him be with her again.

"El." She mumbled his name; weakly, but he heard it.

"I'm gonna be right here, Liv. I promise. I'll be here when you wake up, ok? Everything's gonna be alright. I'll make sure of it."

He waited until they'd wheeled her through the doors of the operating room, then he fell to his knees and cried and prayed harder than he ever had in his life.

X

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was that her left hand was wrapped in both of someone else's, and she could see a bald head resting against her arm.

Elliot was leaning forward in a chair next to her bed. His hands were holding onto her like he was afraid if he let go she would disappear. His face was wet with tears, and he was asleep with his face next to her arm, but she doubted it was a peaceful slumber.

It took her a minute to remember where she was, but she was calmed when she saw him keeping vigil at her bedside. There was a large bandage on his arm, and when she looked up and saw blood transferring through her IV, she knew what he had done.

It made her heart swell.

He looked like he'd aged another ten years, and she wondered how long she had been out. It was at least evening, because she saw darkness when she looked out the window. No one else was in the room and the quiet was almost unsettling.

She hated hospitals.

They reminded her of her ordeals with Lewis, both times. They also reminded her of when Noah was sick and the townhouse incident and the BX9 attack.

"Elliot," her voice was hoarse and her throat was dry, but Olivia hoped she'd be able to speak clearly enough to wake her devoted, protective partner. "El." She felt bad, seeing how exhausted he looked, but she didn't want to be alone in her own thoughts anymore. She cleared her throat and squeezed his hands. "Elliot!"

He jerked awake, stretching, turning his neck, taking in his surroundings. When he locked eyes with her, he had to fight back a sob of relief. "Hey," he took her hand again. "How do you feel?"

"Like I got shot."

He sniffled. "The doctors said if we hadn't gotten you here when we did, you wouldn't have made it. I was so fucking scared."

"I'm here," she reassured him, feeling emotional herself. "I survived."

"Of course you did, Captain," he grinned and kissed her forehead. "I'm gonna go tell them you're awake. Do you need anything?"

"Water. How long was I out?"

"About eight hours. You gave us all quite a scare. I'll be right back, ok?"

She nodded, and he kissed her hand before quickly going out to the hallway.

He returned moments later with a cup of water and a doctor in tow.

"Good to see you awake, Captain Benson. My name is Doctor Randall. How are you feeling?"

"Tired and sore."

The doctor nodded. "You're incredibly lucky to be alive, Captain. We were able to remove the bullet, but it nicked one of your kidneys. Thankfully Mr. Benson here was able to donate enough blood to make up for what you lost."

She looked at Elliot with a raised eyebrow. Mr. Benson?

He shrugged and gave her his signature smirk, a look that said 'just go with it.'

"You'll have a long recovery ahead of you. We recommend bed rest as much as possible and desk duty when you first start back at work."

If looks could kill, the glare she gave the doctor would've obliterated him.

"I'll take care of her, Doc," Elliot chuckled.

Olivia rolled her eyes, turning to glare at Elliot.

The doctor addressed them again. "You've got a good man here. He hasn't left your side since you got out of surgery. He's been a wreck."

She squeezed Elliot's hand as a silent 'thank you.' "When can I get out of here?"

"That we don't know yet. We should have a better idea by tomorrow."

She groaned but was too tired to argue. "Thank you, Doctor."

Elliot lifted the cup of water to her lips when the doctor left and watched her take a sip. "Are you hungry?"

"No. Where is everyone?"

"They were sent back to the hotel when visiting hours were over. I managed to convince the nurses to let me stay. I didn't want you to wake up alone, especially not in an unfamiliar place."

"How'd you manage that, Mr. Benson?"

He smiled. "I was gonna take the ring off, but it proved to be useful. There's no way I'm leaving you tonight."

"I'm glad you're here, but you look like you haven't slept in a week."

"I'll sleep when I know you're ok."

"El-"

"I'm alright. Don't worry about me."

Olivia sighed. "Too late."

"Stop that."

"What? I can't control the size of my pupils."

He laughed. "You've got the prettiest eyes I've ever seen, Benson, and I think you know that and use them against me to get me to confess things."

"I do not," she started to laugh but stopped, grimacing. "Don't make me laugh. It hurts."

"Sorry," he kissed her forehead. "I should let you rest."

"Kiss me," she blurted before she could talk herself out of it.

"Huh?"

"Kiss me, Elliot. Because you want to, not because you think I'm dying and you're not gonna get another chance."

"You said-"

"If we wait till I'm ready, till the right moment, it's never gonna happen. If we learned anything from today it's that we never know how much time we have left."

Their lips met and of all places they thought they'd share their first real kiss, under the fluorescent lights of a hospital room in Ohio was not one of them.

But nothing between them had ever been ordinary, and the place didn't really matter.

All that mattered was that they had knocked down each other's walls and decided to let themselves love each other at last.

Tomorrow they'd go back to being Benson and Stabler. Tomorrow, she'd facetime Noah and tell him she was ok, and figure out what else needed to be done for the case.

"Did they get the guy that shot me?"

"Yeah, baby we did," Elliot kissed her one last time before leaning back in his chair. "Try to sleep, ok? I'm right here."

Tonight, though, they were Liv and El. Two partners who had found their way back to one another, who still had a lot to talk about, but would get through this together.

She had held on for him, for Noah, for her squad.

Her family.

Tonight, that was what mattered most.

A/N: Thanks for reading! :)