Disclaimers: Naruto is someone else's, this is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, graphic adult themes, violence, angst, a good friend, and eventually yaoi love. This chapter includes a suicide attempt and stronger language. Please don't read if this is triggering.

Hard to Read:

Chapter 9

--

Naruto blinked, confusion flickering through him, as he looked back at a different Uchiha than the one he had been expecting to find. Dark eyes stared at him, watching as Naruto suddenly became aware of where he was. The blonde was sitting on the floor, next to the large bed he had avoided sleeping in last night. His back was pressed tight against the wall, knees pulled in close, and he had no recollection of how he got there.

"Sa-Sasuke..?"

"Why the fuck did you just call me Itachi?"

Sasuke watched as Naruto grew pale, eyes widening with realization. The Uchiha's concern battled with his growing anger. He wasn't sure who he was mad at- Naruto, Itachi, himself..? But Naruto was the one who was there. And he found himself directing it, unfairly, at him.

Naruto, on the other hand, felt a rush of absolute horror and stark fear as Sasuke snapped at him. He didn't know how to handle this.. what to say. I called him Itachi..? His nightmare, or rather the horrible memory of what had happened to him, flashed through his mind. Oh my god.. what else did I say?

Naruto's breath caught in his throat as the panic grew. "What..?" he managed to get out, his voice shaking. He tried to hide it, but if it was obvious to him, it was definitely obvious to Sasuke.

"You thought I was Itachi", he ground out. "You screamed for me to stop. Why?" Rage flickered in Sasuke's dark eyes as they locked onto Naruto's horrified face.

Naruto pushed himself to his feet, knees shaking. He kept his hands on the wall behind him to hold himself up. He couldn't look away from Sasuke as everything completely fell apart around him.

He couldn't believe this was happening.

"I- I don't know what you're talking about.." he said, unconvincingly.

Sasuke stood up and stepped towards him, fuming. He slammed a hand against the wall next to Naruto- trapping him between his arm and the bed next to them. Wide fearful eyes stared at him, silently pleading. Sasuke ignored his look of desperation as he leaned close. "Naruto. You were terrified when you thought I was Itachi. And you're going to tell me why."

The blonde shook his head, digging his teeth into his bottom lip, trying to hold himself together. How much did I say? How much does Sasuke already know..?

"Damn it, Naruto! What did my brother do to you?!"

The reminder that it was Sasuke's brother seemed to pull him out of his panic. Naruto clenched his jaw, forcing down his feelings. He was not going to allow this to happen. He glared at Sasuke and, without warning, shoved him as hard as he could. Sasuke, not expecting the blonde to suddenly lash out, stumbled back. Naruto quickly moved away from the bed, and out of the corner the Uchiha had pinned him in.

"Fuck you, Sasuke!!" he screamed. "I don't have to tell you anything!"

"Oh, you're going to tell me. Whether you want to or not." He moved towards the blonde, but Naruto quickly stepped out of reach again.

"Stay away from me, Sasuke."

"You know- you said the same thing when you thought I was Itachi." Naruto flinched as he tried to keep the reasons why out of his thoughts. "And why would that be, Naruto?"

Naruto moved around the bed, trying to get to the door. "Stop- Sasuke."

"Did Itachi stop?"

Naruto's face looked pained. "Do you like hurting me?" he choked out. He could feel himself unraveling as he faced off against the Uchiha. "What is it, Sasuke? Does it fucking get you off? Well then, congratulations. You have a lot more in common with him than you fucking think!!"

Sasuke's eyes widened. "What the hell does that mean?"

Naruto made it to the door and tried to wrench it open, but he forgot that Sasuke had locked it. Before he could do more, Sasuke got to him first. He pulled him away from the door and threw him down onto the bed. Naruto tried to move away from him, but he grabbed his ankle and pulled him back, climbing on top of him as soon as he was in reach.

"Sasuke- stop!!"

"Not until you tell me!"

Naruto decked him across the face and tried to crawl away, but Sasuke recovered fast and forced him back down, pinning his arms to keep him from lashing out again. Naruto threw his head back and screamed, a horrible gut-wrenching sound, startling the Uchiha. Sasuke quickly forced his arms above his head, pinning down his wrists with one hand, using the other to clamp down onto Naruto's mouth, muffling his screams.

"Stop!!" Sasuke shouted. "Stop screaming, stop running- just fucking talk to me!"

He removed his hand and a sob tore out of Naruto's mouth. "Get off of me.. please. Please!!"

Sasuke, overwhelmed by Naruto's fear, quickly did what he asked. He released his hold on him and moved off the bed. Naruto shakily pulled himself up as Sasuke paced in front of the door, trying to calm himself down. To stop taking his frustrations out on Naruto. To stop hurting him like this..

"Damn it, Naruto. You can't expect me to just let this go" he growled out.

"I. Can't. Fucking. Talk. About. It!"

Sasuke slammed his fist into the door before turning to face the blonde again. "He's dead, Naruto!! He. Is. Dead. Why are you still so goddamn afraid of him?!"

Naruto gripped his hair in tight fists as he crouched down on the ground, trying to hold onto the last bit of sanity he had left. He could feel himself losing it. He didn't know how much longer he could do this. "Fine" he muttered. "FINE!! I'll tell you everything, OK?! But not until you let me out of this fucking room!"

Sasuke studied him for a moment, before finally giving in. He unlocked the door, and stepped back to let him through. Naruto looked up at his escape, then suspiciously at the raven standing next to it.

"Just go before I change my mind."

Naruto hesitated a second longer before springing to his feet and racing for the door. On his way out, without even looking over at him, Naruto swung his leg low, kicking Sasuke's feet out from under him. Sasuke plummeted to the floor, landing hard, as Naruto slammed the door shut behind him. The blonde ran into the kitchen, and started pulling open drawers and cabinets, but he couldn't find them anywhere. Son of a bitch- he hid them..

He looked around with panicky eyes before finally finding what he needed. He dropped down to the floor, scrambling for one thick jagged piece of the porcelain bowl he had destroyed earlier. It had slid under the cabinet, out of sight when Sasuke had tossed the rest.

Sasuke threw open the door, livid as he raced up to Naruto, but he froze in his tracks when he found him in the kitchen, a long sharp edge shoved against his throat. It pierced the skin, and he watched as thick blood started to slip freely down his neck.

"Naruto.." he held his hand out as he crept forward. "Put it down."

"I won't let this keep happening to me." He pushed the sharp edge in deeper. His eyes were clouded over, his expression blank, like he didn't even see Sasuke. Like Naruto wasn't even in there..

"Naruto- stop!"

"I can't do this anymore."

And as Sasuke closed the distance between them, he watched in horror as Naruto dragged the sharp edge across his throat.