Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!
Thank you Picimadar for your betaing work! 3

Hilde silently sat on the wooden bench in Wingpeace central park, staring into the distance, listening to the audible sounds of children laughing, shouting, and singing. She watched as the myriad of kids swung happily on the row of swings, playing tag and hanging upside down from the monkey bars. Hilde honed in on a particular group of cute little toddlers interacting with their parents, observing the mothers and fathers with their offspring, some even bringing babies not yet old enough to play with their siblings.

Her heart tugged when she was eyeing a mother breastfeeding while talking to another who was busy pulling their child's hair back into a ponytail. Another kid ran to the breastfeeding mother, a child no more than four who tugged on the mother's skirt for attention. The woman stopped talking to her friend and turned to the child calling to her. They interacted briefly before the mother nodded, making the little kid jump up and down with glee. With the baby still suckling on her left breast, she leaned into her purse and pulled a juice box from the bag. She skillfully opened it with her free hand, balancing the baby with her other, as if she'd done this many times. The kid skipped to the playground with their juice box, and the two moms continued chatting.

Hilde let her eyes wander down to her flat stomach, hand subconsciously resting on her belly as it twisted in knots. She inhaled the fresh, recycled air and exhaled a long, heavy breath. Tears threatened her sight as she looked at the imitation sky, blinking them away.

What would it have been like?

To have a mother?

Hilde imagined the nurturing presence that a mother could provide. She pictured a warm embrace, gentle words of encouragement, and the unwavering support that only a mother's love could offer. It was a void in her life, an emptiness that left her longing for the maternal guidance she had never known.

To have a father?

Hilde pondered the role a father could have played in shaping her existence. She envisioned a protective figure to turn to for advice and guidance, a source of strength and stability. The absence of a father left her wondering about the lessons she could have learned, the bond they could have shared, and the sense of security that might have come with his presence.

To even have both in her life?

Hilde fantasized about a harmonious family unit where she could witness the love and support exchanged between her parents. She yearned for the stability that such a family dynamic might have provided, a sense of belonging that could have anchored her amidst life's challenges.

She had these tiny glimpses of her past where she had felt safe and loved once, but that could have been her imagination. They never seemed to last long enough to comfort her in any way. The thoughts usually dissolved into the sudden terror that haunted her nightmares with no recollection of how or when she became an orphan.

Did her parents love her?

Did they even want her?

She usually never pondered on being abandoned; the thought always made her sick. She convinced herself her parents had died some tragic death saving her from harm. But on the rare occasions when she was at her lowest, she dug a deep, dark hole, making her stomach churn with nausea, letting her mind wander, speculating that her parents left her at the foot of the orphanage's doorsteps.

She shook her head, erasing her terrible thoughts like an etch-a-sketch. Reciting to herself that no matter what, she was safe and loved by all her found family.

A collective family of friends.

But could she consider extending that family with her own offspring?

She circled her hand over her tummy, feeling the tightness, the longing, the hope, and the dread as the nerves bubbled up inside. Her chest felt tight, and her heart beat faster as each second passed in rhythm with her shallow breathing. She was losing control, and the heaviness of her panic attack set in. She clung to her stomach with both arms, shaking uncontrollably, losing all power as the dam broke and her crystal tears flowed freely down her face.

It was just a scare—the first in their seven-year relationship.

But it felt almost tangible.

And it frightened her.

Was she ready to be a mother?

Was Duo ready to be a father?

Could orphan reject's even become parents? She didn't know how it was possible with no existing role model to have shown them the way.

They had never discussed having kids, only wordlessly agreeing with the safeguards they used during sex.

But after years of prevention, the system failed, or so Hilde thought after being late and one positive pregnancy test later confirming her suspicions.

Without consulting Duo, she decided to terminate the pregnancy. He didn't need to know or worry, and having that talk made her uneasy. But as soon as she had made up her mind while standing at the threshold of their living room, a vision of the future flashed before her—the once clean ground of the living room littered with an array of toys. She found Duo hiding underneath the coffee table while a small child with long dark brown hair, fashioned like Duo's, faced the wall. The five-year-old counted down from ten, and when they were ready, they wandered around the house, seeking her out first behind the kitchen counter. The child hooked their small hand around hers while she placed another finger to her lips, silently asking the child to tiptoe to Duo's hiding spot. She pushed the table away quickly, and they pounced on him. Duo turned, hollering, "No fair," as he seized them in his arms, kissing and tickling them while everyone's laughter filled the room.

The vision vanished when the present Duo strolled into the living room, whistling a happy tune. Like a heavyweight punching her in the gut, she dropped to her knees, tears rushing down her flushed cheeks. Duo sprinted to her side, enveloping her in his warm, firm embrace, stroking her face with his thumbs with worry as he frantically asked what was wrong. She gasped in tiny panic sobs, cryptic language, as she mumbled about kids and laughing and how they were not ready. Only when she calmed down did she fill in a confused Duo. Once the message was clear and he understood, he swore under his breath and hugged her tighter, rocking her back and forth, stroking her hair until she stopped crying and sleep consumed her.

When she woke the following day, she blinked back her sleep, glancing at Duo's tired, concerned face. He had been watching over her in their bed all night. She had no idea how long she slept, but considering she felt a bit better, it had to have been restful.

She didn't deserve Duo. She felt a pang of guilt for considering not telling him because once she was awake enough, he brushed the stray strands of hair from her face and whispered, "Baby, I'm so sorry you had to find this out on your own. I wish I had been there. I'll support you no matter what you want to do."

When she told him about terminating, his face remained neutral. She honestly didn't know what to expect but thought he'd be happy by her decision, throwing his hands in the air and thanking God for the abortion. His deep cobalt blue eyes bore into hers as he cupped her face and tenderly rubbed his thumb over her cheekbone. The warm, caring touch caused her eyes to flutter closed, and they lay there in a comfortable silence until Duo's stomach growled, tearing him away from her to get up to make them breakfast.

In the following days leading up to her appointment, they never once touched on the one vital topic she avoided, as if it were the plague.

The day arrived, and fate toyed with her as if it were a cruel joke. She woke up bleeding. Another test confirmed she was, indeed, not pregnant. A sobering sigh of relief fell from her lips as she sat on the toilet staring at the stick with one visible line, but something in her head gnawed at her—the image of the child she had envisioned a few days ago. They seemed to be happy with the damaged goods they called their parents. This had been the only time she ever thought of and considered being a mother, and if it wasn't a burden to the child, could she consider Duo and herself to be fit for parenting?

She ached so many nights for her or any mother to hold and comfort her when she was little. Maybe her longing could be enough to be that reminder? To be the parent she always wanted?

But what would Duo say, and could Duo be a fit father?

He'd grown up just as lost and alone as she. Although they differed, she was an OZ trainee, and he, a Gundam pilot, was ready to die for the cause. There was no tomorrow for them, so they made up their future daily once they both survived. In truth, that was what frightened her the most. Just as metal is attracted to a magnet, they were two lost souls who remarkably found each other in the vastness of Space, clinging to each other for comfort and support. Being battered and broken children, it took them two wars and a decade to mend the gaping holes of their past. Would those scars split open again, adding children into the mix?

She felt the walls closing in on her, her instincts telling her to run. She quietly passed her boyfriend sleeping in their bed, then fled their home towards a place she thought could give her some perspective.

So here she was, sitting on the hard bench, having a panic attack at the thought of being a mom, watching the mothers at the playground make it look so easy. More confused now than ever before. She regained control of her breathing, watching the tiny humans interact with the people who made them. Recognizing more clearly that she, in fact, wanted the daydream she experienced days ago.

"There you are. I was looking everywhere for you." The deep, husky, familiar voice breathlessly spoke with concern from behind her. Before she turned her head, she quickly wiped any leftover tears that had stained her face, then locked eyes with a pair of worry-filled deep cobalt blue; her heart started to pound out of her chest from this man's mere presence. He hadn't bothered to change, still wearing the pajamas he wore to bed last night. His braid was unkempt from sleep and most likely from running around the city all morning. She didn't even know what time it was. She left so abruptly that she had forgotten to take her phone or purse. She smiled, the first bit of joy she had all day as she gazed at the love of her life.

She loved this man with every fiber of her body. He was her best friend, lover, and life, and she now recognized she was ready to take the next step with him, that is if he desired the same.

Without another word, he sat down on the bench next to her. His hands clasped together in his lap, fidgeting with them a bit, simultaneously bouncing his right leg nervously. He broke the silence between them, not making eye contact but staring at the playground as she did. "I know we've never really talked about this before, and maybe that's my fault. I don't particularly enjoy thinking back to the parent figures I had and lost so quickly." Duo hesitated, running a hand through his bangs.

"I... I do miss them. Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. They took me in when they didn't have to. They were so kind and fucking saints with the amount of patience they had as the wild child I was. And when I started to break down my walls and safeguards, God took them away from me." Duo trailed off, pondering his words. Hilde had known of them. He had spoken of them in the past. During their first year living together, he was tormented many nights by the burning fire of the church building in his night terrors.

He turned his head, eyes like dancing flames, the same ones he had just recalled. "I figured, if I... we... ever had kids, they would lose me like I lost my own, or if I were to live, death would probably take them away from me."

She opened her mouth, about to speak, but Duo cut her off. "I was content just being with you, knowing we'd be happy together doing whatever we wanted—not having to worry about the stress children add." He hesitated, taking in a deep nervous breath.

"But, Hilde..." he breathed just above a whisper. Clearing his throat, he continued with a determined look plastered across his features. "I want whatever makes you happy. If that's having children or not. As I said, I'll support you whatever you decide, but if you want us to make that huge decision together, well, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I know I'll be the best damn father this colony has ever seen."

Her breath hitched, and a warmth spread across her body, causing her heart to skip. Was he really on board with having kids? She had to ask. "Do you really think us, orphans, would be good parents?"

Duo chuckled, "Are you kidding me, Hilde? We'd make great parents. As you put it, we orphans have cared for each other since we were teenagers. God, we were just babies back then. We know how to look out for each other. Starting a family wouldn't be wrong if we wanted it." He took her hand in his, caressing his thumb over her knuckles.

"And I know you'd be the best mother ever. Your tender, loving care shows the kind of woman you are. I mean, just look at me. I honestly don't know how you do it, but you're always keeping my sorry ass in check." He placed his free hand over her stomach. "I love you so much, Hilde. Kids or not, I can't wait to see what our future holds."

Hilde's heart sank. He didn't know she wasn't pregnant. Maybe that would change his perspective. No, Duo wasn't that kind of man. He was baring his soul to her. So, she stumbled over her words, finally squeaking, "Duo... I…. uh, I'm…."

Duo scooted closer, wrapping his muscled arms around her, kissing the top of her head, and rubbing his cheek against her short messy jet black hair. "I know, baby. I saw the test and the tampon when I woke up. You scared me half to death when I couldn't find you, and when I found your phone lying on the nightstand, well, I just began searching for you."

"How did you find me?"

He shrugged, bringing her closer to him. "It wasn't the first place I looked. I just sorta felt drawn to this place after a while. Then there you were, and relief washed over me."

A pang of guilt twisted in her stomach, and she reddened in embarrassment. She hadn't meant to hurt or make him worry. She just needed to get out of there. "I'm so sorry, Duo. I didn't mean to worry you. I was just..."

Duo lifted her chin to meet his gaze, kissing her lips tenderly, accepting the apology wordlessly. After her head slowed down from spinning, her eyes fluttered open to meet Duo's genuine smile. "I don't need an explanation. I know, Hil. I know."

"Duo," She whispered, tenderly brushing a few strands of bangs away from his face. His eyes conveyed everything she needed to know. Calming her nerves and making every fiber of her DNA scream. "I'm ready. If you think I'll be a fit mother, I am ready to have a baby with you if you want to have a baby with me."

Duo cheekily grinned, "I was hoping you'd say that. Fuck, Hil, you don't know how much that turns me on. I want to take you home and show you how much I love and appreciate you."

Hilde wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling his nose with hers. "Then afterward, I can show you how much I love and appreciate you too."

Duo growled low in her ear, his hot breath sparking electric bolts down her spine, tingling to her center. "Hilde, baby, if you keep this up, I'm gonna come so hard, milking everything I've got in you tonight."

She softly moaned at the thought of Duo's cum filling her up when realization dawned on her, and she bit her lower lip. "On second thought, maybe we should wait until I'm not on my period?"

"Since when did a little blood ever stop us before?" He asked curiously, then hooked his arms under her knees, lifting them from the bench, making her laugh in surprise, and holding on to Duo's neck tighter. "Duo!" She yelped.

"If you suggest we wait one more time, I will kiss everywhere on you so slowly; every inch of your beautiful body will beg for a release. But then, I'll just remind you we're waiting." Duo said with a devilish smirk.

"You wouldn't do that to me."

"Wanna bet?"

"No."

"I didn't think so," he said, planting another kiss on her lips, and started walking in the direction of their home.

After a few minutes, once they stopped kissing, she flailed her legs in disapproval, feeling timid of the onlookers at the park. "I can walk, you know. People are staring at us!"

"Let them stare. You are mine, and I am yours. And soon enough, everyone will know how much our love extends when I knock you up properly."

Hilde cheeks flushed once more at the thought of making a baby with this man...her... man. "Okay, fine. But when we get home, could we please take a shower first? You stink." She giggled while sniffing and waving a sarcastic hand in front of her nose toward his armpit.

Duo raised his eyebrows. "Well, you didn't have to insult me to get me naked in the shower with you, baby, but if you want it like that, by all means, I won't hesitate to take you on the shower wall."

She moaned in approval, then sighed in contentment, leaning her head against his chest, feeling the rhythm of his beating heart, wondering how long they had until she could conceive. She pictured herself holding a baby in her arms, singing lullabies, and rocking them to sleep. She saw herself running through the park with their toddler, Duo teaching them how to ride a bike and play catch. She imagined family dinners, game nights, and holiday traditions. She wanted it all now. A life with more love, more laughter, and more adventure with the tiny human they'll have created together.

She smirked against Duo's shoulder. With her fear of being a mother gone, his intoxicating scent of motor oil and pine relaxed and aroused her. She moved closer to his ear, whispering a demand for him to walk faster. It elicited a chuckle from his lips, and she felt the energetic bounce in her man's step.

As Duo carried her back home, Hilde thought about how much fun they would have the next few months mapping out the journey of becoming parents and all the joys and challenges that come with it.

She knew it wouldn't be easy, nothing ever was, but with the love of her life by her side, she was ready to become the mother she always wanted.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Don't forget to review! Thank you!