Here's a little something I thought of on the fly to have some fun. It's a little different from stuff I've previously done in that it is very dialogue-heavy. Enjoy!
P.S. The 9 Days of Lancaster Event begins May 29th! All those interested in joining the Lancaster discord server, please send me a PM.
- GodRealm
"The Lancaster Draft"
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"Good evening, everyone! Welcome, welcome to the greatest show on Remnant! I'm Nora Valkyrie and I am joined tonight in the Beacon dorms by my co-host, Lie Ren! Introduce yourself, Renny!"
"Hi."
"Anyway, Enough introductions! Ren, how excited are you tonight for this event?"
"I-"
"Me too! I can't even put into words what this means to me! Two of my favorite people are finally expressing their love! Two team captains have announced they are joining together as a couple! Oh, it makes me feel all warm inside!"
"Please stop writhing like that so vigorously. It's making me uncomfortable."
"You're right! There's no time to get all sentimental at this time! We have to wait at least until after the announcements are made! With that being said, who is ready for the first ever Lancaster draft?!"
Nora jumped atop of her makeshift desk in the dorm common area in front of the sold out crowd of about ten people, most of which were just making their way to their rooms, with pure excitement. Ren sighed as he continued to humor the girl and her antics, questioning how he got dragged into another bunch of shenanigans. Somehow, someway, he was stuck being a "co-host" for this unusual event, but he knew there was no escape at this point, so no use in complaining about it.
He couldn't quite recall who suggested this idea of a so-called "draft", but Nora ran with the proposition more than anyone else. Aside from dubbing herself as the main host, she took it upon herself to spread thousands of fliers with crudely drawn pictures of Ruby and Jaune kissing one another, with what seemed to be multiple spelling errors within the announcement for this unusual event. Needless to say, the new couple were scarred beyond belief, much to the enjoyment of Yang, who was relentless in her own teasing.
It was a pamphlet that brought a tear to even Cardin's eye, mostly because he didn't think of the idea.
Speaking of which, Cardin found himself in the "sea of on-lookers", bound to his own, respective chair. Coco had taken the liberty of trying to make him miserable after once again picking on Velvet, and decided to jump him in between classes, and since she didn't know exactly what to do with him after choking him out, she decided this would probably work in making him more miserable while supporting her friends. It was the best of both worlds, and even Ren had to admit that he was enjoying the sight of it as he struggled against his bindings.
"Alright, everyone settle down!" Nora announced once more in a room with little to no noise. "It's time for the rules to be explained. Ren, would you care to do the honors?"
"If I must."
"You must."
Ren inwardly groaned as his embarrassment only grew. He thought she was leading this ordeal? Nora had the fancier wooden spoon for a microphone.
"Okay then," He began. "the draft begins once the countdown clock starts. Once the timer starts, Ruby or Jaune will have 90 seconds to choose something personal from the other to keep as a sign of their commitment to one another. If the timer expires and one has not made a choice, unless there is a good reason, they will lose their turn. This will go on for- how long are we doing this?"
"It doesn't matter! Also, we will be hearing from representatives from both sides throughout this event. With that being said, we are joined by our first guest from Team Ruby, her very own teammate, Miss Weiss Schnee!"
Nora was the sole person to clap as Weiss joined the pair at the once stack of cardboard boxes turned announcer's table that they had acquired for the event. Ren took one look at the girl and knew she was just as vexed as he was with the charade, but was willing to play along just as much. Perhaps they were enabling this?
"Ren, go start the timer!"
"We have a timer?"
"The microwave! Use the microwave!"
"Nora, using the microwave without something in it is bad for-"
"Go, go!"
Ren huffed as he did what he was told, leaving the two girls to their lonesome. He had a few whispered words of his own while he walked away, muttering just low enough Nora wouldn't hear him stating he was putting all the blame on her if the microwave stopped working.
With a few clicks, the countdown began, and Weiss sent a scroll message over to Ruby to make her first pick.
"So, being a part of the Ruby team, did you come into this event with any kind of strategy? Having the first pick is a huge advantage that shouldn't be wasted." Nora questioned, aiming the wooden spoon in Weiss's direction as she awaited a response.
"Well, the hardest part was just keeping Ruby focused. I'm not used to seeing the girl so frazzled, but this whole draft ordeal was definitely overwhelming her for some reason, and the message that got sent to the whole school through one giant group scroll message didn't help with her anxiety."
"Oh, I didn't know anything about that."
The white-haired girl's emotionless face met the other's gleaming one as if to say 'I know it was you', but didn't feel like wasting her breath or energy. It was best to just get this over with for now.
"Right. Anyway, I think our team has come up with a decent selection for Ruby to choose from."
"Did you have a pick in mind for what you would have chosen?"
Weiss pondered the question for a moment. While she found the idea of two dorks trading materialistic or sentimental goods strange, she did offer up a few reasonable suggestions when it came to procuring Jaune Arc's belongings. Though there was one that stood out.
"If I were Ruby, I'd have chosen the guitar-"
"Wow, Jaune's guitar is pretty near and dear to his heart."
"-so I can smash it to pieces."
Before Weiss could delve deeper into her reasons for smashing said guitar, her scroll received a message. She looked over the text that had come across before smirking and looking back at a curious Nora.
"It seems she has made her choice."
Nora squealed in realization as Ren put a stop on the microwave timer. "Did you hear that everyone?! The first pick is in!"
Sun Wukong gave a weak cheer as he woke from his nap at the redhead's louder than usual screech. Coco and Velvet continued their conversation with Yatsuhashi as if they hadn't heard anything at all, and Cardin continued to squirm in place.
"The anticipation is killing everyone, Weiss! Go up there and make the announcement!" Nora pointed to another stack of boxes occupying the center of the common area, closer to the group of people who were both listening and ignoring the whole tribulation.
Weiss only sighed, giving Ren an annoyed look as he shrugged his shoulders in response. She didn't honestly think he could do anything about it, did she? He'd been degraded to a microwave timekeeper after all. Knowing it was once again no use, the girl stood and strolled to the supposed "stage area" approximately 10 feet from where she last was. She looked over at Nora, who motioned for her to grab the "microphone" that was resting on top of the box, hoping she'd understand the message.
Oh, don't worry. She understood.
Retrieving her scroll once more, She grabbed her microphone and looked off into the group of people who were now slightly more interested.
"With the first pick in the Lancaster draft, Ruby Rose chooses... HOODIE."
An eruption of shrieking came from behind everyone, causing those around her to flinch from the sudden, eardrum-destroying sound.
"I knew it!" Nora proclaimed proudly to the crowd. "She's had her eyes on that hoodie for a while now, so it comes to no surprise to us here at the host both that she opted to take Jaune's hoodie."
"It doesn't?" Ren asked from across the kitchen at his post.
"Not at all! The hoodie is a sacred thing in a relationship, and Ruby Rose has just struck a devastating blow to her opponent with this choice!"
"I thought they were lovers, not fighters?"
"You irrational fool!" Nora merely scoffed. "Love is nothing but one giant war with an opponent you choose for the rest of your life! Nothing is off limits! Not even the clothing off your back!"
"Apparently." He mumbled to himself while restarting the timer.
Back at the podium Weiss was occupying, she was soon joined by a smiling Pyrrha. The two exchanged a wave as Beacon's best student came with an offering. She showed off the Pumpkin Pete hoodie to the crowd before handing it off to Weiss as more people began showing up whether it be out of general interest or the concern for the noise as it got closer to lights out in the dorm.
Weiss accepted the offering as Pyrrha made her way to her other teammate. Weiss soon left with the hoodie, opting to bring it to Ruby as soon as possible for... whatever she wanted it for exactly.
"And now we are joined by none other than Pyrrha Nikos!" Nora announced. "Tell me, was Jaune surprised at the pick? How is he coping without his trademark hoodie?!"
"First off, hello everyone." Pyrrha remarked with a wave at the fictional camera Nora had been looking into, which only caused Ren to groan further as Pyrrha was was probably only making things worse. "To answer your question, Hostess Nora, he was plenty happy to give the hoodie up."
"Hostess Nora? I like that! Tell me, does Jaune have a pick in mind?"
"My client refused to make a decision so abruptly and wanted to re-think his strategy before letting me know, so I've come to buy him some extra time."
"Well, I hope he's almost ready because time is not on his side for-"
"Oh, looks like he's ready."
"Pyrrhaaaaa, don't cut me off!"
The fellow redhead chuckled at the girl's childish remarks before heading to where Weiss was when she made the announcement. People were seemingly more involved this time, curious as to what Jaune would choose. Even Cardin between his struggles had to admit, even he wanted to know.
Pyrrha tapped the spoon a few times, playing up the act a little bit as she readied herself to make an announcement. She read over the scroll a few times, and took a deep breath before looking into the growing crowd. Many faces she actually did recognize, but some not so much. There even appeared to be what she could only guess was an older man in the back of the room who had been recently slipped in undetected.
She had to admit, they seemed out of place with their conspicuous outfit, trying their best to hide their face under a tan fedora and an overcoat she could only assume. Nonetheless, she had a job to do as Team Jaune's representative.
"For the first pick for Team Jaune, he has chosen Ruby's blanket!"
"BLASPHEMY! INDECENT!" A voice yelled from the back of the room. Pyrrha blinked a few times as she looked back in the direction of the suspicious person she had taken note of. She had heard that voice before, but didn't know where or when.
Many of the people that continued to flood the room looked in that same person's direction, but they continued to try and play off as if they had nothing to do with the sudden outburst. Even Nora was thrown off by what sounded like a grown man detesting the announcement of Jaune's pick. Regardless, she had a show to continue.
"Alright then, everyone! Blanket it is! Ren, please restart the clock!"
Once more, Ren did as he was told as Pyrrha waited for a representative from Team Ruby to comply with the request Jaune had made for his pick. Not long after, Blake emerged from RWBY's dorm room, blanket in hand. The hand-off was quick, and Pyrrha waved goodbye to the crowd and her teammates as she made her way back to Jaune with his selection.
As Blake made her way over to Nora, she was surprised to find Neptune meet her as they both sat down beside the show-runner.
"Well this is certainly a surprise! A member from each team joining me now in the studio for an impromptu interview before the next selection is made?"
"I'm here to give the people what they want." Neptune remarked slyly as he tried to pump up the crowd with a bunch of cheesy poses.
Unfortunately, with most of those occupying the room not being from Vacuo, and those who were not choosing to engage with his antics, Sun was once again the sole person to acknowledge such a feat, clapping for his teammate.
"I'm here because it's actually our team's turn." Blake retorted with a raised eyebrow at the boy's answer. "That and Ruby gushing over her newly acquired hoodie was becoming too much for me."
"Ooooh~ you don't say?" Nora investigated. "So she is happy with her pick?"
"Let's just say she was more than ready to wear it, and could care less about her blanket anymore. I'm not sure if she plans to shower for the foreseeable future."
"Well, that's gross." Neptune remarked.
"You're gross." Blake responded.
Blake looked down at her scroll as she received a message. Not willing to engage with Neptune further, she opted to leave the announcer's area and head towards the crowd of people as Weiss and Pyrrha had before her.
"With the second selection, Ruby Rose has chosen..."
Blake looked at her scroll in disbelief as her cheeks dawned a slight hue of pink. For someone who had read romance novels, among other things, this particular pick had her uneasy. Could she truly ask for something like this? Wasn't it just a little too much? Was her leader a deviant?
"She chooses..."
"Just say it already!" Cardin yelled from the crowd, earning himself another slap to the head from Fox and Coco.
"B-b..."
"B-b?"" Nora re-iterated.
"B-b-b-baby pictures of Jaune." Blake finally announced, covering her face in mortification as the crowd began silently whispering among themselves. She couldn't make out what they were saying, all she knew is she wanted to die as she waited for someone to bring the selection forward.
"OBSCENE! THIS DRAFT IS A SHAM!"
Nora jumped atop her boxes again, this time distraught at what she had heard. "Who said that?!" She declared in her leg-breaking voice.
She was met with silence from the crowd as they all looked at her nervously. Even Cardin knew it was best to avoid that girl, especially in his predicament, so he wouldn't dream of infuriating her. Nora scanned the audience over once more, trying to find the deviant who would dare ruin such a cordial event.
"I'm watching all of you! Don't let it happen again. Ren! Timer!"
The sound of the microwave starting up could be heard throughout the room as the silence continued. Blake continued to try and keep herself together as the eternal wait of baby pictures being given to her continued. The shame she felt, oh the great shame!
"Excuse me!" Neptune announced, causing the attention to shift to him. "I've been informed by my team, that multiple pictures will take some time to gather and will be exchanged by Jaune himself directly to Ruby."
Without waiting for the 'and' or 'but' that may have followed, Blake zoomed off back in the direction of her team's dorm room at a rate that would but Ruby's semblance to shame.
"It seems your client is on the clock now, Neptune." Nora remarked, trying to get things back on track. "Tell me, what would you choose if you were Jaune as your next pick?"
"Well, that's simple. I'd-"
Before he could answer, the notification tone of his own scroll interrupted his answer. He shrugged with a sigh and stood up from his sitting position and made his way to where the others had. He gave a quick wink to the ladies in the audience, eliciting more of a groan in disgust than anything, before reading his scroll over.
"For Jaune's next pick he chooses... Ruby's heart?"
The crowd cooed with an "aww" in unison as Neptune's eye twitched and he made his way from everyone in the room. Small mumbles of "waste of time" and "lame" could be heard from the boy's direction as he skulked back down the hallway he had come from towards JNPR's dorm room.
"You heard it here first, folks! Jaune has a fetish for the black market!"
"Nora, I think he was just trying to be sincere with that one." Ren chastised.
"Hey, who is the hostess leading the Lancaster draft?" Nora responded, somewhat insulted.
"I've been meaning to ask, what is a 'Lancaster'?"
"It's something a weirdo from New Jersey made up."
"What's New Jers-"
"Ren... timer."
Once more, he knew he wasn't going to win here, so once more, he started the microwave timer, hoping this was coming to an end soon. Not before long, Yang Xiao-Long could be seen making her way from the hallway dorm to the podium area to make the next pick, much to Nora's surprise.
"Does Ruby's team already have a pick in mind?!" Nora questioned aloud.
Yang gave a thumbs up in her direction as if to signify a positive response. When she arrived, it was her turn to see the murmuring crowd who had no been enraptured by the ongoing of cuteness that had been transpiring.
"What's up, everyone?" Yang asked. "Cardin, happy to see you could be here."
The crowd laughed at what was actually funny from Yang for once, and not some crappy pun. Well, most except for Cardin who was still having no luck.
"First off, I want to clear the air. I have confirmed Jaune does not want Ruby's physical heart for those who thought that." She spoke, looking at Nora seriously. "That's just dumb."
"Hey!"
"Anyway," She spoke again, choosing to ignore the girl's outburst. "I can also confirm that Ruby has responded that she will metaphorically give Jaune Arc her entire heart at this time and for what she hoped to be, forever."
The continuation of "Aww" from earlier could be heard throughout the room as it drowned out most of the other noises. Well, most except for-
"THAT BOY IS A HUSTLER! HE WILL RUIN HER INNOCENCE! BOO!"
"That's it! Security!" Nora announced loudly.
The room went silent again as Nora stood up, trying to pick out whoever in the crowd was trying to hijack this draft. That's when she noticed the man Pyrrha had earlier, sifting around behind most of the crowd.
"Ren! Get him! Right there!"
"Oh, so I'm security as well, am I?"
"Wait a minute!" Yang exclaimed. "Dad? Is that you?!"
"...No."
Before anything else could happen, a discovered Tai Xiao-Long opted to back out of the room, before full-on fleeing down the hallway. Not long after, Nora began her pursuit, not about to let him get away from ruining all the hard work that she had put into this night.
"Looks like the draft is over, people." Yang announced from the center of the room. "Now if you excuse me, I have to prevent a murder!" With that, Yang took off in the direction of the pair before her.
The occupants in the room also quickly emptied, ready to see a brawl on campus that involved a Beacon legend from Team STRQ and an enraged Nora. As Ren watched each person leave, he knew that it was also going to be on the co-host/time-keeper/security to try and resolve the possible bloodbath that awaited him outside as no Yang was going to need backup for this one.
Once he was ready, he sent a scroll message to everyone to get outside, minus Ruby and Jaune. He told them to go get some dinner and just avoid the courtyard for a while as it was in both of their best interests before exiting the room and turning the lights out.
The once rambunctious common area was then left with nothing but silence as Cardin remained tethered in place, trying to unpack everything that had just happened tonight, all the while realizing that he truly was absent of all respect.
"Is anyone going to untie me?... Hello?... I have to use the bathroom."
No respect at all.
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Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!
- GodRealm