This Ends Today
Author's Note: Warning - MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH! WRITTEN TO DESTROY YOUR HEART, IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ONE.
Also, I think it could have been more emotional, and maybe Vader's acting a little weird but he is 1. Dying, and 2. Not excelling at breathing so he'd probably be acting a little weird anyway.
~ Tirana Sorki
Obi-Wan needs to end this now. He saw enough of Vader's weak points when he was throwing rocks at him to know where he needs to aim – he'd been shielding his chest plate and helmet the most. Those are obviously his most vulnerable areas, despite the armor that covers him entirely.
He's lost in the flurry of the fight, and really, after Vader nearly killed him again, this time almost burying him alive under all those rocks, it's not hard to be angry.
And it makes it easier to finish what he started – finish with what he knows he needs to do.
Perhaps it was, in part, Reva's words when he was trying to negotiate with her that reminded him of the morning at the Temple, when he saw what was left of it, the bodies everywhere. It was his duty to stop Anakin – even if what happened on Mustafar will never cease haunting him.
He still doesn't know how Anakin could've survived that, but somehow,he did. And now, it's Obi-Wan's duty to finish it again. In truth, he didn't know how he was going to carry through with it when he failed last time, but he'd expected Vader to be going at him the same way he was on Mapuzo. And that, coupled with the armor that makes seeing Anakin's face impossible to see anyway, makes it seem... easier.
Besides, Obi-Wan is angry right now. No, furious, especially after how Vader nearly killed him again.
He knows Vader will see it coming if he uses anything else, so he slams his lightsaber hilt as hard as he can against the control panel of his suit. Vader stumbles a step back, swinging his lightsaber half-blindly, and Obi-Wan avoids the blade, slamming the hilt against his chest plate again, repeatedly. The metal gives surprisingly easily under the force of it – for life support, if that's what this is, he would have expected it to be a little harder to damage – but Obi-Wan doesn't wait, swinging his blade up and across the area of the mask near Vader's mouth. Presumably, that's where the respirator function is.
Obi-Wan lets himself feel nothing except how he needs to end this, as he lashes out with the Force, throwing Vader several steps back.
He stumbles to regain his footing, straining surprisingly slowly. The respirator is malfunctioning now, his chest plate still sparking. That doesn't stop him, though, not that Obi-Wan is surprised about that. It was very hard to throw anything at Anakin that would truly take him down – short of critical injury.
Vader swings at him again, and Obi-Wan ducks around the lightsaber completely – truthfully, the swing was pretty sloppy – and aims for his side. He's left himself far too exposed, and Obi-Wan doesn't hesitate to take advantage of it. It wasn't a weak point, but it should do some damage.
Enough, he hopes.
He slashes at Vader's side, the end of his lightsaber cutting through the armor, stabbing deeply into him.
A strangled scream escapes Vader, and he staggers away from him, falling to his knees on the ground. Obi-Wan takes a few steps away, holding his lightsaber ready and waiting, just in case.
Vader tries moving again immediately, to push himself up, but makes another strangled sound half drowned out by the noises the respirator are making, and collapses against the ground, going still.
For a moment, all Obi-Wan can do is just stand there. He won.
He... won.
And – the injury he just gave Anakin is going to be lethal, and suddenly, he feels –
He feels –
It's the second time Anakin is laying dying at his feet.
The second time –
Mustafar flashes through his mind again, as he stares feeling strangely in shock at Vader's prone figure. It's easier than it was last time, but it's also...
He doesn't know. He doesn't know why he suddenly feels so...
So...
(He wants to run to his side, but he won't. He can't.) He failed to finish it last time, and he can't this time.
There's nothing he can do but stand here and watch again. Watch as his padawan, his child, his –
Anakin destroyed the Jedi. He had it coming. He –
So why does it hurt so much, why is Obi-Wan just standing here staring, in so much shock that Anakin is about to die. Again.
At his hand.
A second time.
And this time... no, there's no way out of it.
He should... he should go before he does something he'll regret or – He just can't bear to stand here watching again.
"Obi-Wan."
The word comes out quiet and strangled, in between the sounds of the broken respirator, and maybe it's the hint of... desperation? despite the general tonelessness of the vocoder that freezes Obi-Wan in place before he can turn.
"What?" He feels suddenly speechless. Frozen in place, unable to do anything but stand there. Again.
Anakin is dying. He's – he's going to die. It's what Obi-Wan came here for, but it's –
Why does he still care so much? Why does it hurt so much when this is – this is his duty, his mission. One that he should have finished ten years ago when it all started.
"Don't – leave," Anakin chokes out, twisting on the ground, though he clearly isn't able to move beyond that, at this point.
(Twisting on the ground, trying to escape the flames as they're starting to crawl up his robes, his eyes so full of pain as he stares up at Obi-Wan from that lava bank.)
The words freeze Obi-Wan in place completely, because what...
Of all things he might have expected from Vader – maybe a final threat, or a scream of fury of how much he hates him – it wasn't that. Not 'don't leave'.
Is he –
(He wants to run to him, to – to save him, but he can't. He –)
Is he asking for his help? He doesn't exactly think that's what he meant but it's –
"You brought this on yourself," he says, as steady as he can keep his voice. He thinks he must be in shock, because it feels like his mind is shutting down, not processing what he should do next.
(Anakin is going to die.)
"I know." It comes out surprisingly quiet, and there's a long pause in between what sounds like the respirator trying and failing to breathe for him. "Can I – see you?" he gasps out.
Obi-Wan stills even more, if that's even possible. "What?" he utters, uncomprehendingly.
"My mask," he repeats, slowly, "Can I see you – with – my own eyes?"
For a moment, all Obi-Wan can do is continue staring at him.
"One last time?" Somehow, Anakin sounds pleading, even through the vocoder – which is pretty much toneless, unless he's threatening.
Maybe it's just that, as everything starts to finally sink in that makes something in him completely splinter into a million pieces. "Anakin..." Anakin, he's –
He's –
He's going to die, the second time, and it's all on him. His brother, his son, his child – who is also a monster, but somehow in this moment, Obi-Wan suddenly doesn't care anymore, because all these years he's grieved Anakin constantly, wishing he could have done anything differently, and now he's back in this exact same place again – doing the exact same thing, and this time – all Anakin has to say is that he wants to see him? Without the lenses of his mask.
"I... can't do it myself," Anakin says, hands pressed against the ground in a steadily failing effort to keep him from going face-first onto the rocks.
Obi-Wan doesn't quite remember when he extinguished his lightsaber, but he moves forward slowly, a sudden feeling of despair building inside of him, threatening to overwhelm him. This is – it's what he had to do, what he came here to do, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel like how it did on Mustafar all over again, only so much worse, because this time, his anger with Anakin isn't so fresh. And he just found out he was alive again, only for this –
He's still coherent enough to kick away the Sith's lightsaber before he kneels next to him, jarred at their sudden close proximity. The helmeted head turns slightly, presumably meeting his eyes through the mask.
It's... it would be unnerving if Anakin wasn't lying so still and motionless, his Force presence flickering so dangerously close to its end.
Obi-Wan can feel their long buried and forgotten Force bond flickering dangerously, diminishing, dimming like it never truly had before. Obi-Wan had only thought it had because he'd blocked it off. But this time –
He can feel it strongly again, that bright star it once felt like he always revolved around and never knew it until it was too late. But now, it's dimming, rapidly. "You want me to take it off?" Obi-Wan asks, moving closer, almost uncertainly.
"Yes." His voice sounds weaker now, and a sudden building sense of desperation claws at him. Can this really be – Maybe he's just still in denial, because it doesn't feel real.
Though it feels real enough that his cheeks are wet, though he doesn't remember when he started crying.
Obi-Wan reaches down for the helmet. The metal feels strange under his fingers, and this is – he touched him briefly in the fight, but it was different then somehow. Finding the clasps that keep it in place are easy enough, and he prepares to lift it off.
He's about to see Anakin again, for the first time in ten years.
What – what does he look like now, under all this?
After his injuries?
He doesn't stop to think, lifting the first part of the helmet off. He can't see anything of his head from that, but he feels only numb with horror as he moves to pull off the second part of the mask. Some distant part of his mind registers how much it looks like a torture mask.
And he looks Anakin in the face for the first and last time in a decade.
Obi-Wan doesn't know what he expected to see, but it wasn't – it wasn't –
Even in the dark lighting, Anakin's skin is a ghostly pale. His face is so deformed Obi-Wan would never even recognize him as Anakin if he didn't know that's who it was. He looks terrible.
And all this is because of Obi-Wan.
Because he left him there on Mustafar.
Because he –
And all these years Anakin has been living like this, because of it. Maybe he should be glad now that Anakin is about to be free from this, because he can't imagine how he could live like this, but instead, it feels like it's about to rip him in two because Anakin is dying.
The yellow eyes turn to meet his, expression twisting a little, though his face is so deformed that Obi-Wan can't even tell what his expression is.
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan breaths, past the tears falling, "I'm so sorry, Anakin." It means little, he knows, when Anakin is dying by his hand again.
Something maybe like confusion flickers through his eyes, and Anakin shifts. From the respirator, Obi-Wan thinks he's having more and more trouble breathing. "I wanted this, Master." His voice is strained, barely audible and he – he sounds like Anakin. Not Vader. He sounds –
He hasn't heard that voice in ten years, except his nightmares, and hearing him say 'master' –
He didn't know this could hurt worse than it already did. And it takes a moment for the rest of what he said to catch up with Obi-Wan. He... he wanted what? To die? Is that what he's trying to say?!
"What?" Obi-Wan echoes, shakily, blinking past the tears blurring his gaze. He reaches forwards slowly, uncertainly, hardly sure what it is he's doing as he lays a hand on his chest plate, just below where his helmet was.
Anakin shifts his position a little, a sudden pressure on Obi-Wan's wrist as Anakin wraps his mechanical hand around it, almost desperately. The grip is nearly painful, but he can hardly care right now.
"Stay," he whispers, pleadingly.
This can't be the end. It can't – Obi-Wan's other hand drops to the stab wound on Anakin's side, and the Sith makes a strangled noise, maybe from the pain of the contact. No, no, no, it can't be too late. He can't be – he can't be about to die right here and now in front of him.
"Is there anything your suit can do?" he asks, desperately.
"Nothing can... stop this now..." he gasps out.
Obi-Wan pulls his hand back when it feels wet, covered in blood. Anakin's blood.
Which is on his hands twice over now. And – nothing about Anakin feels like a dangerous, evil Sith now, no matter what Obi-Wan saw and experienced on Mapuzo. He feels like – (It's like those moments during the Clone Wars that Obi-Wan had been so scared of, of what if something happened to Anakin, if – if someday he would be there holding him in his arms the same way he did with Qui-Gon, only now...)
Obi-Wan reaches down, tugging Anakin a little off the ground, pulling him half-awkwardly into his arms. The armor is extremely heavy, but he could care less right now how it's practically crushing his legs.
Obi-Wan reaches up with his free hand, the one that Vader still isn't practically crushing, lightly brushing it across his cheek. The first time he's actually touched him all these years.
And the last.
Anakin makes a strangled sound, shifting his head a little, so his cheek is pressed against it. His skin feels... horrifying, under the touch. It feels scarred and deformed and...
His presence feels dangerously weak, and a part of Obi-Wan is tempted to try dragging him back to the ship anyway, but he knows it would be pointless. He'd be dead even before he got him there.
"I'm so sorry," Obi-Wan whispers again, slowly moving his other arm so as not to dislodge Anakin's grip, pressing his other hand to his other cheek. "I won't leave you. Not this time." As if there's much to leave, when Anakin is practically dead now.
His grip on his wrist is already slackening, not for lack of trying.
"I meant what I said before – when I left last time," he begins, hardly sure what he's trying to say, "I love you, Anakin. Even now. I'm sorry." For the first time, he finally realizes he can see tears glistening in Anakin's eyes, too.
He doesn't reply, Obi-Wan doesn't think he has the strength too, but he holds Obi-Wan's gaze, and something about them reads a silent 'me too'. Or maybe it's just an echo through their bond, of pain and regret and... There's a lot of other dark emotions there too, but he can still feel the... love?
Somehow.
Even after everything, despite what they've both done to each other.
It's the last he feels before their bond shatters, Anakin abruptly slumping against his leg, completely motionless.
Force knows why he ever thought he knew pain before now. Anakin's dead, gone, forever, and somehow, it's so much worse than last time. It's so much worse than even Qui-Gon's death ever was.
It feels like whatever may have been left of his heart before was just ripped out completely.
Anakin was – he was the one person Obi-Wan had always thought would be there. The one person who, in truth, mattered to him more than anyone and anything else, even if he didn't realize until it was too late. Even if he did, and still does, feel guilty for that, because he shouldn't be so attached to anyone. It's against everything the Jedi taught, but he doesn't care right now.
He doesn't have the strength to care for anything except the motionless figure in his arms.
And this time, he knows it's something he'll never recover from, not as he holds his son in his arms the same way he did his master, dead from a stab wound as well, but this time inflicted by him. The brilliant star who his life had once revolved around, forever extinguished all because of him. Why, why, why – Why didn't he do something, anything differently this time?
Why didn't he –
He doesn't know because he doesn't know what he ever could have done differently, but any of the doubts and regrets that had consumed his mind over the past ten years feel like they're all surfacing at once in this very moment. He occasionally wished he'd been able to do something differently, and instead –
And now, there's no going back. Not this time. He had the chance, and he didn't take it. And now it's gone forever.
"Anakin..." Obi-Wan whispers, through the gaping void of nothingness in his mind and heart.
No one answers, not even a breeze.
Final Notes: If you want to join our Discord to receive updates or just hang out, here's the invite link, and please delete the spaces! :) discord . gg / nqSxuz2
You can find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (which is our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes; we also advertise our SW gift exchanges on there)
And! We have a YT channel for tributes! Please delete the spaces in the link. :D youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA
Finally, if you're interested, you can submit a SW gift fic request via the following form (delete the spaces): forms . gle / rmXWtRomMMaULuPa6
NEW: We've just opened a SW Anakin-clones fic request form as well. :) (delete the spaces): forms . gle / SC5gBdwhXpTNJidr7