AN: Another story, based off Sweet Paprika, a comic that I absolutely adore, and felt like it fit Santana and Charlie quite well. I still haven't figured out what I want to do with unholy while Giants is still coming out. Oh well I have is an attempt at a short story, not all my ideas need to be billions of pages long with several, multiple plot lines, so this is an attempt tell me if you want more of this or more sprawling epics. I feed off reviews.
Summary: Santana is the CCO of Faustian Press, one of the hottest publishing house/magazines in the world. Her job and career consume her forcing her to neglect her needs and her friends and family. Nursing a broken heart from a past relationship and the consequences of her upbringing have made her a very introverted person. She wants a romantic relationship, but has no idea what she's doing unlike the idiot delivery girl who seems to have beautiful women throwing themselves at her, despite the fact that Charlie wears sunglasses indoors...
Song: Your Turn to Roll (Critical Role Theme) - Song by Laura Bailey, Ashley Johnson & Sam Riege
"As of today Faustian Press is now one of the world's top publishers. It's obvious why, I mean 30% of top sellers come from you. 30% this is domination at its finest, and your flagship magazine accounts for 10% of world wide sales alone. Due to recent success and the fact that you are currently trending on all the social media sites with your hit Infernal Touch, we should definitely use this moment to come up with a new and improved logo! Something respectful of the original one—but one that is also young, hip and fly." William Shuester stated to the boardroom filled with executives who were currently looking at the graphics that he was flipping through on the fancy monitor.
"I'm telling you, with my rad, trendy agency, you won't have to worry about connecting with the youth." William continues. "We've got it down to a science, we are aware of all the latest trends, we're constantly scrolling all social media, Infernalgram, Pitbook, and with our integrated systems and oblong phraseology—" William pauses and glances at the door as it opens and he spots a young devil woman carrying a cup of coffee. "Oh, my coffee. Finally! Hot as hell right?" He said reaching for it, not noticing how nearly every other executive in the room goes pale. But he does notice the sudden tension in the room as he places his hand on the cup of coffee, and glances at the room. "What's going on?"
There was an audible gulp from one of the executives as several began to move their chairs away from the poor doomed devil.
William scowls and looks at the woman, she doesn't look like much, thick glasses, a simple skirt and white shirt, and a large dangling necklace that simply didn't suit her as far as he was concerned. He grabs the coffee out of her hands, "You've ruined the flow of this meeting! What do you have to say for yourself? The other secretary said it'd be five minutes. It's ten, and the coffee is cold! Are you embarrassed? Well you should be, young lady, you're a disgrace to demon-kind everywhere, and you need to shape up!" William glances down at the coffee cup. "Did you at least use some lukewarm milk? Something, anything to combat this arctic beverage you've served me?"
"I wonder if she'll mount his horns on her wall," one of the executives whispered, to one of the angels in the room who was currently praying for the poor devil's soul.
"She's shaking," another executive whispers.
"This is bad!"
William blinks and turns, finally noticing how everyone around him had given him a gigantic berth, "What? This is supposed to be mine isn't it? Was anyone else waiting for coffee?"
Several executives shake their heads, as the woman who he had so rudely grabbed a coffee from enters his personal space, her lips near his ear, "You know, I never take milk in my coffee," she begins her voice nothing more than a whisper, enjoying the scent of fear that starts to emanate from William Schuester who seems to finally understanding that he had gotten himself in trouble. "But it seems that my foolish assistant forgot to add my specially refined madagascar anise sugar, so go and fix it. Now! You useless piece of elephant excrement!" She shouted into his ear, nearly causing William to drop the drink and wet himself at the pressure she was exerting.
"Pssst, don't try and argue! Just go do it!" One of the executives whispered to William.
"Be back in five minutes, you piece of shit, and perhaps we'll decorate the toilet paper with your so-called graphics," she raged. He had wet himself a bit, she still had it and she glared at the rest of the executives. "Chair! I've wanted enough time already." Almost immediately a chair is brought out for her and Santana Lopez takes a seat, ignoring the honeyed words that whichever suckup was attempting to send her way.
Blaine cleared his throat and adjusted his halo a bit, his white wings fluttering nervously behind his back, "Uh, Santana, about that sugar, I don't think there is a grain of it in the building."
"I know," Santana Lopez says as one of the executives slides a tablet across the desk for her to take a look at. "I just made it up," Santana adds as she signs a document and lets her horned tail flick back and forth. "We won't be using any of his ugly ass designs, anyone who goes to a meeting should at least know who the CCO is. And he certainly shouldn't be talking to our staff like they're his slaves. I'm the only bitch allowed to do that." Santana shakes her head.
She had been the one to make Faustian Press the powerhouse that it was today, she had taken it from a small publishing agency to one that currently dominated the market, she couldn't let her guard down at all. "I have high standards, but I expect from others only what I expect from myself." Being a woman and a devil in a world that was filled to the brim with demons and warrior angels, who were in some eternal dick-measuring contest, meant that she needed to be alert and ready to fight for her position at all times. If that meant that she needed to be a superbitch then so be it. Everything was done in the name of the company.
"Well, do you want me to order some more coffee?" Blaine asked. "I can get some baked goods as well."
Santana immediately made a face, "Can't you order it from Belzebean?"
"I could but then you'd complain about overpriced coffee that tastes like ass," Blaine reminds her. "I know that you don't like it that she becomes a disruption but they really do have the best coffee and they deliver, and throw in a few extra baked goods for us since we've been loyal customers."
"Fine, but tell her to leave the coffee at the reception!" Santana orders despite knowing it was a fruitless endeavor of course.
Blaine nodded, in all the years that they'd had coffee delivered they had never once managed to get reception to keep her at bay. He personally doubted that today would be the day that Santana got what she wished for, but it would certainly give her anger a place to focus on, and as long as it wasn't on him. "Do you really think that the graphics are terrible?"
"They're played out and tired, and anyone who uses young and hip unironically deserves to be taken out back and shot, our readers are intelligent, and even the youth aren't going to be pandered too, so we're not going to change the logo unless it makes sense. We don't need to go through a rebrand, they're for failing companies that try and make headlines. Not well established companies that don't need it."
"You're right," Blaine agrees as he finishes creating the order. "But this comes from the infernal one herself, but if you talk to her perhaps she won't insist on changing the logo."
"Well I have a meeting with her at the end of the week, perhaps we should make it a competition. Get our readers at least the artistic ones involved. A cash prize, and it'll be cheaper than hiring a company like William Schuesters and it will actually be from someone who understands our brand and all the products."
"That's a brilliant idea," Blaine says, looking up at her in awe. There was a reason why she was the Chief Content Officer, she was meticulous in everything that she did, and she generally managed to keep things under budget. Of course it meant riding her employees hard, but given how much money they had brought in last quarter and the bonuses that went around, while everyone was terrified of her she had earned everyone's respect.
"I have them from time to time," Santana replies modestly. "You're going to tell Shuester that we no longer need his cool and hip services, we have better things to do with our time. If I see him, I may act on my uncontrollable urge to stab him in the eye with a spork."
"I'd pay to see that," Blaine admits. "But don't do it, I'm sure you'll get arrested by the archangels, and you know how much those prudes hate sex. I heard that they don't even have any genitalia. It's just smooth like a child's doll."
Santana made a face, she'd heard that rumor as well. "Yes well they aren't our target audience so why does it matter? I don't want to ruin what I'm going to assume is going to be a stressful day. And where is my bloody coffee?"
~ O ~
"Charlie!"
Santana cracked the pen that was in her hand, and turned to look at the conference room door. Even from inside, she could still hear the ridiculous tittering of her useless employees who all seemed to be enamored with the coffee delivery woman. Before anyone can say anything she's out of her seat and marching towards the door so she can once again remind the delivery woman that she really just needed to drop the coffee off at reception.
"Good morning you beautiful women! And don't think I've forgotten about all the guys out there!"
Santana scowled as she opened the door, and immediately winced how could anyone be that excitable this early in the morning, and why did it always seem like her halo was glittering like it had been dipped in glitter? It was infuriating. And she'd brought along that damn mutt of hers, as far as she was concerned this was a pet-free place. But the damn dog seemed to be a woman magnet because everyone gushed over the dog. Ignoring the fact that Charlie wore sunglasses indoors. It was never cool to wear sunglasses indoors!
"Iced coffee with almond milk and sugar free vanilla—of course I remember your order Claire!"
Santana gagged, watching devils go crazy over some delivery angel who didn't even have wings? It wasn't impressive that Charlie knew everyone's orders, the orders were written on the cups with a name. How was any of this sanitary with a doggy carrier strapped to her chest and her dog dripping and drooling over everything?
"Oh Kitty! I managed to grab one of these large cylindrical—chimney cakes that were just added to the menu, you know we could play this game a bit longer if you're free— " Charlie said flirting with one the demons and glancing down towards her chest, and grins as she notices the pierced nipples.
"Why don't you come to my place then Charlie! I'll play your game with you!"
"No, she'll be playing that game with me!"
Charlie flashed an amused smile, "Calm down ladies, you know there is plenty of me to go around! But you remember the rules, no girlfriends, no wives, but we all know that I am very generous!"
Santana cleared her throat, watching as nearly everyone who worked at Faustian Press froze and turned to look at her, before immediately grabbing their coffee from Charlie and disappearing.
"You know that applies to you as well Miss—"
"No it doesn't. Now get lost!" Santana snaps at the employees who were still lingering. "We've talked about this. You can't keep trying to use my place of business as a place to gather numbers for your booty calls! Stop bothering my employees and leave the damn coffee at the reception like everyone else."
Charlie puffed out her cheeks and blew some of her platinum blonde hair out of her face, "It's hardly my fault that everyone loves me! Or that I'm fantastic at my job. Even Bacon-bit thinks you need to relax, right Bacon-bit?"
The dog that's strapped to Charlie's chest lets out a deep woof, it's tail wagging as it stares at Santana. "You don't need to get so angry, Miss Lopez!" A sweet angelic voice said as the puppy which looked like a tiny husky barked again. "Maybe you could try and become friends with Char-lie!"
Santana stared at the poor ventriloquism that Charlie was attempting, "Do you think you're the host of a children's program? Don't answer that, Wingless Wonder."
Charlie just smiles and pushes her dog closer to Santana, who looks thoroughly unimpressed. "I'm sure my owner could really help you relax—"
"You are absolutely disgusting!" Santana interrupts, seeing red as she leans in closer. "Do you honestly think that I would ever engage in such a—superficial—carnal relationship? With a delivery girl?"
Charlie tilts her head and flashes a smile even as Santana grabs her dog and pets it, "Is the problem the whole 'delivery girl' or the 'superficial carnal relationship'?" Charlie questions.
"Both! What kind of woman do you take me for? And why do you insist on bringing your dog everywhere? I'm sure this is animal abuse!"
"Well, I take you for a woman who enjoys her spicy triple espresso oat latte, with a salted caramel drizzle." Charlie teases holding out Santana's order. She doesn't blink as it's snatched from her hand. "I really don't know what you're so afraid of."
"That I may catch fleas?"
"The only thing I have that is contagious is a deep love for beautiful women," Charlie retorts before taking her dog back. "Besides, you really shouldn't be calling your coworkers 'those kinds' of women. Is it because they like to have fun? You know I've been coming here for years—"
"Despite me telling you not to."
"And I've never seen you have an actual friendship with a single person. Looking at how you judge people, I can't say I'm surprised."
Through clenched fists and a tone that indicated that Charlie was entering dangerous and deadly waters, "Is that right and what do you call what you're doing right now?"
"Oh, I'm definitely judging you, but all I'm saying is that everyone should have friends, even you. If only you weren't afraid of whatever it is that you're afraid of. So you know, other people don't bite! I don't bite either—that's a lie. I do but only if you want me too!"
"I've got plenty of friends you asshole!" Santana snaps at Charlie, who still has that same dumb smile on her face, like she was adoring the fact that she was being yelled at. She was such a fucking weirdo. "Not to mention a long line of suitors with real jobs, banging down my door! You got that! Not that it's your business but my life doesn't stop at the office door!"
"I'm sure it doesn't. But I do think it's funny, if you've really had all these "suitors," I figure you wouldn't be so worried about proving it. I think the lady doth protest too—"
"Shut Up!" Santana yells, ignoring that they've now garnered looks and Blaine is currently rushing over. "Your opinion doesn't mean fucking mean anything you fucking creep!"
Charlie lets out an easy going laugh, "Don't worry Bacon-bit, Miss Lopez is clearly crazy about us!" Charlie said laughing as she pets her dog, playing with its feathers as she gets a call. "If you need anything, you have my number!" She calls out as she takes her leave, her job was never done.
"Fuck off!"
~ O ~
Santana scowled as she kicked off her heels the moment she entered her penthouse apartment, which overlooked the city. Her life did end at the office door, the moment she left the office she had nothing left. Loser, wasn't the right word, she was after all obscenely wealthy, and it wasn't as if she didn't have a dream apartment overlooking a lovely park and the city. She had a career that most others could only dream about, but the fact was no one except her mother, her father and her interior designer had ever seen the inside of her place.
It was absolutely aggravating that Charlie of all people had seen right through her, she didn't even know how the dumb wingless angel could even see anything through those douchebag sunglasses of hers. As for the suitors—well if you weren't outgoing, and you didn't have a wild social and sex life, people simply assumed you were a loser. But she enjoyed her job, and her nice apartment was her refuge. She liked her life, and she wouldn't want it to change.
"Green Papaya Salad—sounds like dinner is solved for tonight," Santana mumbled looking at her phone and ordering Thai for dinner. As she waits for her food to be delivered her mind returns to the pain in her backside, the moron Charlie. From what she understood, she was a master at creating and taking opportunities. Everyone loved her, whether they wanted to fuck her or not, and she most certainly didn't.
She can't help but take a peek at Charlie's Infernalgram page, the profile pic was of Bacon-Bit, the Alaskan Klee Kai, sleeping on Charlie's shoulders with its little wings smacking Charlie in the face. "She has a cute dog though. If only it didn't come with 140 pounds of moron attached with it." She scrolls the page, making sure not to be careful so Charlie wouldn't be aware that she was creeping on her Infernalgram page. Sure Charlie was pretty hot, with the lip ring, and the several piercings, and she had never known that Charlie had several tattoos on her arm. "Why is it always the hot ones that are as dumb as a fucking bag of rocks?" Santana questioned. "If she had a real job, and didn't just think about partying and fucking she'd probably be a real catch! I mean she doesn't even have fucking wings? No one even seems to care that she doesn't have wings or that she wears her fucking shades everywhere! Like she's Queen of the douchebags!"
Sex was fucking overrated, whether there was strings or not. Masturbating was far more efficient. It led to the same result, with none of the fucking hassle. She'd been single since she'd graduated from university which was seven years ago, and she knew her own fucking needs better than anyone else. Not to mention she was tired of the silly trope that devils were some sex crazed maniacs.
Her phone buzzes and she glances at it and takes a look at the security cameras noticing that it was her delivery guy, with her dinner and she immediately sends him up and gets up to grab her purse so she could give him a tip. She pulls out some cash and heads to the door when she hears someone knock on it, and blinks at the attractive young devil in front of her with massive horns that curl back and she swallows. Were all delivery people secretly models? She immediately pushes that thought aside, he was only there to serve her—serve her dinner. She clears her throat, "Thank you." At least some delivery people were professionals! "Here's your tip." Santana said, handing over the money.
The delivery guy smiles at her, opening his eyes to reveal pale purple irises. It wasn't unusual for a demon to have such a color but it's startling and Santana takes a step back. "I know this might be forward of me, but it's super rare to see girls with such beautiful eyes while I'm working, and I —well you miss every shot that you don't take so, could we swap numbers?"
Santana stared at the delivery guy for a moment, before slamming the door in his face. It wasn't as if she didn't get people who were interested in her, Charlie was clearly interested in her, but Charlie was also interested in anything in a skirt. "This isn't a cheap porno," She muttered mostly to herself, shaking her head. She'd always had trouble connecting with people, inside the office and outside the office. She was the uber bitch, and it suited her, but there were times when she wished that she could take a chance and open up. Maybe Charlie had her pegged, and she was deeply afraid of something what that something was—
Santana shakes her head, "I'm not going to take dime store advice from a dumb blonde wingless angel, who wears sunglasses indoors!" She heads back to her living room and places her food on the needlessly expensive coffee table and leans back. Though, if she had decided to let him in, to have him serve her. She shudders and slides her hands down the front of her pants. Masturbation was fine, she didn't have to deal with people or their mess and she could imagine that cute devil in all sorts of torrid positions.
Before she could really get into it, an image flashes in front of her eyes ruining the moment, as she hears her abuela's voice scolding her. 'Is this why you canceled your wedding and made that respectable man your ex? Just so you could slut around?'
Santana immediately removes her hand and groans, grabbing her glasses. "Every fucking time." She would try again tomorrow, at some point it would need to stick.
~ O ~
"It's super weird that your glasses go on first. I mean before the clothes, not that I'm complaining."
Charlie adjusts her shades and leans back and looks at the devil she'd just been with, "I feel naked without them."
"You're not hiding a second superpower are you? I mean apart from the whole being an absolute savant in bed. Heat vision?" Kitty questions the blonde
Charlie lets out a laugh, "Well they certainly have the ability to get you all hot and bothered, and if I did have a super power, I swear X-ray vision would suit me better." Charlie flashes her most charming smile even as she runs a hand through her hair using her sweat and quite possibly other fluid to slick it back a bit so it wouldn't get into her face. It was nearing the point of being out of control and unwieldy. "Truthfully, I just love the mystery."
"You really are a bit of a weirdo aren't you. But I guess that's what makes you—interesting."
"That's what everyone says," Charlie mumbled mostly to herself as she grabbed her t-shirt and slipped it on, pulling it over at least one arm.
"Whatever happened to your wings? I mean I was expecting some horrific scar or something, unless you hid it under the tattoo."
"Didn't just another bit of the mystery," Charlie replies before simply changing the subject, "What are you up to now? I mean it's still pretty early." Charlie glances over at Bacon-bit who has fallen asleep near the door.
"No clue, do you have any ideas?"
"Well, there was this burger place that opened up around the corner that's supposed to be great. We could get some fries, a milkshake talk about meat—"
"Can't. I'm on a—diet."
The smile on Charlie's face fades, "Oh—I mean it doesn't have to be burgers we could go somewhere else—"
"I also have a huge meeting tomorrow with the infernal one herself. I have to get home, sorry maybe next time!"
"No problem, I should probably head home as well." Charlie smiled and watched Kitty leave before she looked around the conference room she'd seen Santana storm into earlier that day and let out a small chuckle. Miss Lopez would probably murder her if she caught them. Well being murdered by Miss Lopez might be fun. She shrugs her shoulders once her shirt is on causing Bacon-bit to immediately look up and bark at her at the massive shadow that appears for a brief second. "Ah, sorry for waking you Bacon-bit," Charlie says as she reaches for her jacket and picks it up not noticing a large gray feather falling onto the floor.
~ O ~
Santana glanced at her phone, groaning slightly when she noticed that it was her mother's name, she quickly checked the time and winced. Her mother was probably checking up on her, and would probably start lecturing her at 1 in the morning about work life balances, but you didn't get to the top by having one of those. Still she answers the phone, "Hey mami, I wasn't working I—" Her mother's frantic voice cuts her off, and Santana's eyes widen and she immediately tosses her laptop onto the bed and slides off her bed as she starts to get ready.