I'm Already Married!

by Yuhabahha

For want of a nail, Kiritsugu summons an entirely different Saber. A Saber that has the potential to perhaps be even more powerful than the King he would have summoned in another time and place. ...The only problem being the unintended consequences caused by the new Saber's summoning...as well as the fact that in this timeline the world's oldest Hero is a woman...

1. Chapter 1

Welcome, so, a few brief notes before we get on with it, mostly so that you won't get lost.

This all begun around the first of april 2023-for future readers-over at Questionable Questing or QQ in short.

X50413 (no, I did not just have a stroke) is an excelent writer and the author of the story 'Just As Planned', and so, as I'm want to do and courtesy of a certain group of people who'll go on my book of grudges for putting the idea in my head, I started writing yet another omake, one that consumed me for nearly a month.
(I do that semi-frequently at QQ...)

Only, due to me being an idiot, I added a few too many plot points, and also had the briliant idea of showing too many points of view, basicaly most everyone taking part in the war... Fuck my life...

And so, what was intended to be an omake, ended up being a separate fic in its own right with only the barest, if important ties, back to the origin story.

So, with that out of the way, the 'ties' so that a couple of things won't come out of the left field, even if a few other things might still come of as a bit weird (not if you read X50413 senpai's story though, wink wink~nudge nudge)

Very short.
In 'Just As Planned' the protagonist is a planeswalker, who waifued worm's Simurgh and visited the Babylonia Singularity, changing things and due to his acts enshrining himself in the throne of heroes, but, due to his magical defenses the Throne got an incomplete copy and had to fill in the blanks.

There. If you wish, you can go on and be mostly okay with just that.

Slightly longer version with a few spoilers.
The protagonist was a member-agent of the 'Waifu Catalogue' corporation (A horni Cyoa originating in QQ). He started in Worm with his waifu being the Simurgh and through trials and stuff, visited the Babylonia singularity, captured-waifued, Gorgon, Tiamat and also bought a Morgan waifu, oh and he banged Ishtar and earned Gilgamesh's respect

But, due to company defenses, the Throne got only the 'best of' of the dude, and so, in this version, 'filled in the blanks'.

There, if you wish to know more, go and read X50413's excellent story!

Oh, and also this tale, is in no way canon to his own works nor is this 'hero' how his own would act etc.

---

Tags: Au, slightly silly, humor, dark moments, mostly happy endings

---

With the stars glittering overhead, Kiritsugu on his knees and with blood dripping down the sides of his mouth, could do nothing but watch. Watch as a set of body parts landed on the ground but a few feet from him and gale after gale of wind slammed down and into him as the battle above resumed.

The two monsters in the sky, paying him no heed, clashing against one another, again and again.

"Mwhahaha! Submit to the inevitable, my love! Your resistance is as amusing as it is futile, why do you keep fighting? What greater honor could there be then to receive the King's affection?

"My King, I fear that I must remind you…" Saber growled, managing to stabilize and halt his flight some distance from the smirking gold beauty. The man's fist beginning to warp and transform, scales traveling up the limb while in his other arm, the sword glowed white. The man dived back in against the oldest King. "I'm already married!"

Tha Magus killer, observing, waiting for the end, couldn't help but snort, and then the pain hit, bending over and clutching his gut with one arm, the fingers coming back bloody he crumbled to the ground.

Gritting his teeth and directing his energy, in a futile attempt to stall the bleeding he started to exhale. Only for the sound of rolling thunder to reach him.

He turned his head towards the entrance… and closed his eyes.

So this was how he died, huh?

xxx

A few days earlier.

From the moment she drew her first agonizing breath in the birthing pits, Juvia knew her purpose. And it filled her with strength. Conviction.

Still. A top of the line bodyguard homonculus or not. Iron clad control of her emotional reactions or not.

"My Lord! We are humbled by your generosity!" Crouching behind the false wall of Lord Jubstacheit's study, her knees shook and her fingers, hovering but an inch over the sheathed daggers on her waist twitched of their own volition. "How can we ever repay you?"

"Simple," the monster in the visage of an old man said, pointing his gloved hand at the pulsing dragon scale resting atop her Lord's desk. "Take that and do with it what you will, use it a as a catalyst for your game, crush it into a powder and snort it, hell, even use it as a dildo for all I care."

Her eyes almost popped out of her skull and she let out a silent scream. Because even for someone as… eccentric as him to dare suggest something like that… It was in very bad taste, to say the least. After all, despite her ineptitude in the arts and the many, many struggling seals the scale was buried under? Even someone as worthless as her could see its grandeur! And when one also considered that said scale had belonged to—

"Hahaha… I'd heard tales of your sense of humor, my Lord." Lord Jubstacheit said, the smile on his face full of warmth, unlike the coldness lining his eyes. "More the fool I for not believing them."

The visitor snorted, and shook his head. "I'm not joking, brat."

The audacity!

"If I'd known how much of a pain in my butt holding this little bastard would have been? I'd have never gone looking for it, much less picked it up!" the white-haired man furrowed his brows and stroked his beard with one hand. "And if, for some unfathomable reason I really was that much of a masochist and wanted someone to nag at me that much? I'd have never left home in the first place… or, I could have gotten married I suppose…"

Lord Jubstacheit opened his mouth to reply but—

Between the tiny interval it took for her to blink her eyes, the… visitor's thumb and index finger had already found their ways around her Lord's lips. Pinching them shut.

Swallowing with difficulty, eyes fixed on the wide-eyed form of her Lord, his visage beginning to turn red, her hands inched closer to the handles as she waited with dread for the inevitable signal that would come…

"And considering I have places to be and I can't bother babysitting you lot all day, Acht, buddy, pal, old chum, listen how it's going to be."

aaany second now.

"This pain my ass? Didn't get it from me, in fact? If she comes asking? We never met and you don't even know me, capiche?"

More guided by the man's hand than of his own volition, her Lord nodded up and down.

"Good, and trust me, I'll know if you blab. And if you do? Well, a time-room and the Jar-Jar special it is for you!" Juvia did not understand half the things the man said, and yet, a nameless shudder coursed down her spine. "That said? Glad we could come to an understanding my boy," the monster said with a blinding smile, his fingers letting go, his arm moving back to his side faster than she could process yet again.

Lord Jubstacheit, his eyes narrowed rubbed his lips, not saying anything. Still no signal to attack. Hope begun to fill Juvia, perhaps she would live another day…

The monster sighed. "Oh, my, to look at me with such rage, my, my perhaps it is for the best that poor Justease is no longer here, to see what a poor host their descendants have become…"

Juvia could hear Lord Jubstacheir gritting his teeth even behind her cover.

"…Get out."

The Monster sniffed. "Such poor reception, and even after I did you a solid, but I can see when I'm not wanted. Very well." Pushing back his chair, the old 'man' stood and, dusting his dark coat, spun around making for the door.

Before stopping right at the edge.

"Oh and Acht?"

"…What?"

"Your beard, is looking kinda thin and fraying at the edges there, are you moisturizing it properly and getting enough sleep? Stress can do a number on your hair you know. Ciao~"

With a loud laugh, the man left, and Juvia, holding her breath looked back at her snarling Lord.

"…Fucking troll."

xxx

Now granted, Irisviel was no expert, and really, the decor was nice, from the high ceiling and the sombre statues, or the flickering candles and the ominous looking altar.

The altar in front of which Kiritsugu stood a few paces away and focused on the glowing circle filled with carvings and etched to the church's very marbles.

And wearing his usual dark suit and cloak even here? The silly man~

"—Fill! Fill! Fill!—"

Nevertheless, wasn't it a bit too much?

A few steps behind her husband, seated on a wooden stool, Irisviel, voice low as to not disturb Kiritsugu, hummed a song of her own, while on the seat to her left a golden scabbard lay glinting.

The sudden tug on her dress coming from her right made her blink. "What is it, honey?" she asked with a smile.

Her daughter did not return that smile. Instead, with her lips warbling and a sniffle, she buried her head on her white dress, Illya wearing a miniature copy of hers.

"Please don't go…"

A bittersweet smile split Irisviel's face, one that Illya did not see at least.

"Don't worry, honey!" she said, running a hand through her daughter's silver locks, so similar to her own while in front of them, the crescendo of magical power continued to build. Any moment now. "Your daddy has everything planned, everything will be alright, you'll see!"

With a sniffle, red eyes met her own. "Promise?"

She smiled. "Of course!" the words tasted like ash in her mouth.

Illya made to speak, only, the bubble of magical energy, deciding to pot at that moment made them both turn their focus back to the altar… and Kiritsugu. The panting Kiritsugu, who'd placed himself in-front of them and whose aloft left arm was a charred mess and glowing blue circuits were visible all over the man's exposed skin.

"Daddy!"

"Dear!"

Mother and daughter jumped to their feet at the same time—

"Have no fear."

Only for a rumbling voice to assure them, as the smoke concealing the Church's center dispersed from a blast of air, which, Irisviel realized came from the man's wings. "This will take but a moment.

"You!" Kiritsugu's hateful snarl came as somewhat of a surprise.

But before anyone of them could say or do anything else, the servant glad in golden gleaming armor, stepped forth, his hand coming to a stop an inch from Kiritsugu's mangled own, a soothing while light emanating from the center of the servant's palm.

"I command thee, be well, my son." The Man proclaimed, and with a shudder from the world around them, it was so.

Only, for an instant later, for the weight to vanish and the man's serene expression to be replaced with a smile.

"Apologies for that," the man said with a chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. "I misjudged the strength of the summoning circle's containing field."

Quick pants escaped Irisviel's mouth.

Blinking, she raised a hand, cupping her cheek, finding it warm. How curious.

"But, at, the very least I see you implemented the extra seals as I told you," the servant said with a pleased tone, glancing around at the charred remains of the seals.

Kiritsugu crossed his arms, the tension in his frame vanishing. "So, it was you who'd been whispering in my mind then since—"

Irisviel's world turned white, her body, her very mind feeling as if she was in the middle of the world's premier cuddle party.

"Mommy?"

A tug on her dress, caused her to blink and come back to the present.

"Yes, honey?" she asked with a smile.

"Your eyes were glazed over, Mom," Illya said with a frown.

"Oh my! Truly?"

"Aha!"

"Oh my, how weird," she said with a tilt of her head.

"At any rate, to cut to the crux of the market, Servant Saber, at your service Master. Use me well."

xxx

Deep beneath the ground, where all things dark and moldy grew, a heart stirred and beat, once, twice, thrice!

"This will not do," the ethereal hiss reverberated throughout the cavern. "Not now, now when I'm so close!" the roar shook a few stone stalactites loose.

The cavern shook for a few moments more and then the small 'quake came to a stop.

"But not to worry, for I have just the gift for you pests."

xxx

"—And, My King, if I may be so bold—"

So, this is what her garden had turned into? Her head stretched backwards, landing on the couch's headrest. Of pathetic quality and taste, of course, just like the rest of the man's house and the man himself and the air of modernity seeping in from the open window.

…Well that and the faint waft of charred flesh and charcoal, courtesy of the now departed mongrel daring to call itself a member of that man's 'family'… what a disappointment.

With a small sigh, which back then would have caused whoever was daring to take up her time to get the hint and hurry up, she, in a gesture of magnanimity let the self-assured mongrel keep on prattling about his strategies and 'suggestions'—the fool. As if the King could not see through his feeble attempts at deception. Still, he was somewhat amusing… for now. The moment that changed…

For but an instant, splitting the night and coming from somewhere far off, the taste and quality of the air changed. And she tensed at the Reminder of sand, of rivers and sea, of forests and scales, of… of home.

An eager smile spread across her face and her ruby eyes slid open. There were only two people that could make her heart beat so, and this was not the taste of her Only Friend.

"—and thus—"

"Tokiomi."

The man, all but lost in his mind, froze at the sound of her voice, limbs and legs stretching taut as he turned and stood at attention, almost falling in the process.

"M-My King?"

Her smile widened as she leaned forward, the mongrel smart enough to keep his eyes away from her exposed body.

"Change off plans."

"Beg your pardon?" the man asked, a tad too fast and sharp. She raised an eyebrow in response.

"Oh-hoh?"

Tokiomi squirmed and trembled, before hastening to add. "M-My king?"

She nodded, and let go of the pressure. The insect breathing a sigh of relief as he rubbed his sweaty forehead.

"For your audacity I should end you, here and now." She could hear his breath quicken and his arm itched backwards. She snorted and before the man could complete the motion, or speak, a tiny golden portal sprang to life next to his neck, a nameless dagger hovering halfway out, its tip painted red, courtesy of the nick in the man's nick.

"Impudent!" she said with a snort and shook her head, smile still in place. "Fortunately for you, something wonderful occurred, and even though you're quickly taxing the King's patience, you're still her subject. So, Tokiomi, harken and hear my words."

"Y-yes, my King…"

"But."

She would admit it to no one, but hearing the man gulp with obvious worry, made her giddy.

"A punishment is still in order." She snapped her fingers and another portal, this one bigger than the last, opened in-front of the man, depositing—

Tokiomi paled.

"My King, you can't be serious. Please—"

"Oh, I'm serious. Its either that, or I let the blade finish what it started, choose."

Her 'master' bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as he pondered her question with surprising intensity.

Hmf! For once, he managed to impress her somewhat. For his sake, she hoped he kept it up.

Shoulders slumping, the energy building up in his command seals vanishing, Tokiomi begun undressing.

"As My King wills…" he said with a sob.

xxx

But the repercussions from that single pulse of mana, nay Ether, did not stop at merely arousing the King's interest.

Nay, the water like ripples suffused with the scent of sand, like, the Servant they belonged too, reached through the threads of fate, ordained by their mistresses with care and affection and…

Made a right mess of them.

With some things changing:

"Yo! Servant Lancer! Let's have fun, Master!"

"…why are you wearing blue spandex?"

"Oi! This ain't spandex brat! These are traditional Celtic battle garments."

"Uh-huh."

"Hello, are you my— What's this?"

"Kariya you miserable little failure—"

"Humu, humu, I see, there is room for only one Dark Lord here, die."

"Arghh!"

And yet, others, for better or for worse, remaining the same…

"Uohhhh! A devil an actual devil! Please, Mr Satan, teach me your ways!"

"Mmh~ What a delightful spirit you have there young man, very well, come with me, I would hate to see such potential wasted or even worse, rejected by society.

"P-please slow dooooown!"

"Bwaahahaha! Speed limits don't apply to the King of Conquerors, lad! Bwahahaha!"

xxx

"Kirei… My Love~"

The 'humble' priest blinked, and looked around himself, at the white fluffy clouds hanging overhead, the sun peeking between them here and there, the endless horizon, and the inverted sky serving as a kind of 'ground'.

Now he might be mistaken. But, unless his father had some serious pull with the powers above, the likes negating the need for the grail and used whatever favor he had to renovate the church while Kirei slept?

Than this was not the Church.

The smiling visage of a woman he hadn't seen for a long time all but cinced.

"Can I help you, Madam?" He asked with his trademark smile, and the voice Claudia had termed as 'jazz in her ears'.

The lookalike to his wife let out a meep and her cheeks flashed crimson, hugging herself, so at to appear smaller and looking at him with golden eyes peeking through her white bangs. "Oh~ Kirei~" the woman moaned.

Well, at least, whoever she was, she'd done her research.

Smile spreading wider alongside his arms in a welcoming pose, Kirei closed the distance. "Madam, I do believe you have me at a disadvantage." He stopped in front of the pale-skinned beauty. "While I do not mind you using my dearly departed wife's image and voice, I must insist that, you at least, share with me why you've went through the trouble of arranging this meeting."

As expected.

The 'woman's' golden eyes turned to ice.

"Failed to fool ya, eh?" she asked and a small rumble raced through the 'ground'.

If this was to be his end, his only regret was he didn't get to have one last dish of tofu…

Still.

No reason not to attempt to diffuse the situation.

"You misunderstand me, Madam."

"Oh-hoh?" Judging by her raised eyebrow and crossed arms, she did not appear impressed.

"Why yes." He nodded. "Believe me, I'm a good judge of character, and thus, I can't help but feel that your reason for bringing me here, whatever it is? Would be something I'd be very pleased to help you with. So, let us cut to the chase, if you will?"

The budding tension in the woman's body seemed to dim and vanish. Good. He'd get to eat another dish of tofu, in fact he'd so first thing in the morning… Followed by 'helping' his flock, of course.

For a moment, the mask fell, and a dark chuckle slipped free from his throat.

Only for his 'wife's' snort to bring him back to the present, and make him cough into his fist, his cheeks feeling warm.

"Pardon me, Madam."

"No need, it seems I was right in choosing you after all," the cruel smile spreading across 'Claudia's' face made him swallow with a dry throat and his heart beat faster.

"…why are you bending forward?"

"…Its my back, you see…"

Claudia's brows furrowed and she opened and closed her mouth in quick succession, "But physical ailments should not translate to this realm…" she shook her head. "Whatever. As for you!" She pointed a finger at him, the cruel smile on her face widening… causing Kirei to bend forward some more. "Rejoice, Kotomine Kirei, for I'm about to help you reach your heart's desire!"

Hearing her talk, Kirei had to admit to himself, that yes, he quite liked wha she had to say.

"—So, what say you, Kotomine Kirei?" Claudia asked as she finished her pitch.

Frowning and raising a hand to his chin, rubbing it in thought, he mulled it over.

"And you're certain of this?"

"With your help?" the woman's answering chuckles would not be out of place in a horror film. "Oh~ yes!"

"Then we're in agreement."

Joy entered the beauty's eyes for the first time since he'd met her. It made him want to crush it. He had just the plan…

"Great! Glad we could come to an understanding, like reasonable people. Now then." She brought her arm forward, no doubt, intending for him to seal the pact by shaking the hand coated in an intoxicating miasma.

"No."

"Beg your pardon."

Smiling, he raised his arm, towards his torso.

Only for Claudia's eyes to widen, her arm dropping, the building furry replaced by… oh dear, was that nervousness he saw? How precious.

"Merely taking advantage of this precious few moments we'll have together if our plan succeeds." He continued unbuttoning his shirt, with unhurried motions. Button after button.

The woman's wide eyes, fixed on the muscles being revealed bit by bit.

"I…no!" she squeaked at last and, with her face on fire pushed him back.

"Oof!" finding him unprepared and causing him to land on his back, most of his torso exposed.

"Y-you pervert!" the entity masquerading as his wife screeched. "I'm not your wife! You know that… that…" her eyes landed on his chest, a small line of drool making its way down the corners of her mouth.

Smirking, Kirei, flexed his pec.

Causing the girl to squeak again and loose her footing, landing on her ass.

Rising to his feet, and removing his shirt as he did, he stepped forward and, with a chuckle, offered the woman his arm.

"And I fail to see what that has to do with anything, my dear." The purr in his tone succeeding in making the woman pant. "Now, of course if you're adverse to it all let us conclude our business right away and move on with our day. No hard feelings and—"

Her mumble made his smile widen.

"What was that, my dear?"

"I said, ok! Happy, you jerk?" the girl said with a huff, turning her head away even as she grasped his arm, allowing him to yank to her feet. "But."

"Mmh?"

"This will not do?"

"Oh?"

"Yes," with a snap of her fingers their environment changed, replaced by unfamiliar hotel suite. Everything about it extravagant but what both of them only cared for the Queen sided bed in the middle.

Wrapping his arm around the girl's slim shoulders, Kirei nodded towards the main attraction.

"Shall we?"

"Yes, but… please be gentle! It's my first time!"

"But of course, my dear…"

xxx

Making the rounds one last time before going to sleep, Risei, a lantern in his hands, took this time to meditate and commune with the Lord as he traipsed through the Church's halls.

Only for a familiar voice coming from a nearby room to make him stop.

"…Claudia…"

A small smile split the old man's face, for it would seem that his hunch and idea both had been correct after all.

That is, forcing Kirei to participate in the Grail war.

Cause judging by the somewhat happy mumblings coming from his son's room? His meddling was already bearing fruit. His son, even if only within the realm of dreams, beginning at last to make peace with the death of his wife.

Truly, idle hands were the devils workshop.

"Sleep well, my son," Risei whispered, and started walking again. His steps seeming to come with more ease than they had for some time.

xxx

Kiritsugu couldn't help but wonder when the world stopped making a damn lick of sense.

Beyond the pane of all but invisible glass, flakes of white continued their lady drift downwards, while some distance away from the castle walls, near the edges of the pale tipped forest, the forms of his wife and daughter could be clearly seen. Illya laughing as she run in circles around Saber.

His Servant…

And the source of Kiritsugu's most recent source of woes.

At the sight of his wife seeming to, yet again, grow transfixed gazing at the being of myth, Kiritsugu pursed his lips, brows furrowing.

He didn't like it, what man would after all. He hoped he was wrong, but even if he wasnt…

It's not like my hands are innocent either. And after Saber's revelation and depending on how the war pans out… The man with a soul weary well beyond his years, sighed and run a hand through his black locks. Then it might be for the best, if what I dread is indeed the case.

Besides, he had preparations to make for the trip tomorrow. If he still wished to feel sorry for himself he could very well do it after the plane took off and—

"Our Lord's magnificent, is He not~?" The reverent, in fact, almost jubilant tone, tore him from his train of thought.

The Magus Killer turned to his right, finding Acht next to him, looking out at the same trio he'd been observing with an expression off—

…No.

Nope!

Fuck this.

He was leaving today. The world was clearly going mad!

Little did Kiritsugu know that this hasty decision would lead to his doom!

xxx

"Again, again! Hahaha!"

Saber smiled down at the bundle of joy running around him, before all but colliding with the middle of his armored shin, and looking up at him with shining ruby eyes as she clutched the edges of the armor piece and attempted to climb, her tongue darting out to from the sides of her mouth.

Luckily, his Master's wife intervened before the child risked hurting herself. "Honey, that's enough for today, Mr Saber needs to rest and talk with Daddy."

"Muuuu!"

"Now now, dear, don't pout, its unbecoming of a young lady. Let's go back inside and you can play again tomorrow."

"Fiiiine!" the adorable pipsqueak said, before acquiescing to her mother's demand with a huff and letting go. The frown replaced by a smile just as quick as it appeared. "Bye bye Mr Saber!"

He returned her wave with a smile and gave a nod to Lady Irisviel, as the woman turned and guided her daughter back towards the castle.

Only for the smile on his face to dim as he caught the reflection of it on the golden gauntlet and his Master's innocent question from days prior once more haunted his mind.

"Who are you?"

He'd answered of course, he had no reason to lie, not to his summoner, and yet…

Something was off.

Throwing his other arm to the side in an explosive motion, the mere act of it producing a slice of air which fell an unfortunate tree, his trusted sword appeared in his arm.

Lifting it to eye level he nodded.

Good. This much at least remained the same. Although, the aura emanating from it seemed somewhat stronger than it ought to. Curious.

Everything else though… He knew who he was, or who he was supposed to be at any least, and yet…

Dismissing the sword, he lifted the gauntlet, using it as a mirror yet again, last time he looked himself in the mirror back when he was alive…

Well, unless his multiple set of memories failed him, he didn't use to look like DIO in a Golden Cloth.

The hell?

xxx

Meanwhile, in a certain family home in Fuyuki…

"D-Daddy! W-what are you weariiinggg!"

"N-No, Rin! Avert your eyes from your father's s-shame."

"Mwahaha!"

"Dear, I'd told that it perhaps wasn't the best idea to take part in this business…"

xxx

"Be bwack woon big bruther! Luv you!"

"Oh my dearest Reines! Worry not! For your big brother will return before you'll even notice he was gone."

Lancer watched his Master hug and tickle his little sister and… puked a little at the sight. It had little to do with his Master, despite knowing the man for so little time. Lancer already had a good grasp on the man's character.

Like most of the modern magi, the man was an arrogant, self-absorbed, and short-tempered man. And yet, inside the blond fool's breast, somehow, beat a heart that'd been more at home amidst Charlemagne's knights, or maybe Arthur's, and rather less with the modern magi.

No the fool was not what made his gut churn.

Rather, the man's little 'sister'?

She gave him the creeps! As the people of this day put it, courtesy of the Grail, she was 'bad news waiting to happen.'

Screw that!

With a burst of magic, Lancer materialized his beloved spear and stabbed it face down through the, no doubt, expensive flooring of the villa. Ignoring the shocked gasps coming from his Master's gathered family members as with a frantic swipe and gesture of his fingers, a sequence of glowing runes formed, right as the brat chose that moment to look away from Kayneth and smirk at him…

And for his ward against evil to glow gold and stretch close to its breaking point.

Just in time…

"Huh? What was that?"

And his doofus of a Master noticed only now, of course…

"Just Lord Lancer being dramatic," Oi. "nothing important for an imbecile like you, Kayneth." Oi! What do you mean nothing important woman! His Master's future wife or not you clearly need to get your eyes checked. That brat screams future trouble for some unfortunate bugger! "but I will admit, that Lord Lancer worries might not be entirely unfounded. We really need to get going if we don't want to miss our flight."

"Mh? Oh, yes, fine, I guess you're right Sola… just five more minutes~"

Sola facepalmed, causing her neck-length red locks to dance.

Lancer maintained his ward against evil as he took slow steps backwards towards the door, tracing a path so at to grab the redhead by the arm and drag her with him. He paid little attention to her furious blush, for the ward? It kept pinging the whole way!

xxx

Risei, steps clacking against the polished granite, followed the familiar path to the kitchen as the sun's rays continued to stream in through the numerous windows.

Painting the walls and the artworks decorating the whole of the hallways in a majesty of colors.

Voices could be heard as he approached the kitchen, familiar ones at that.

One of them, obviously that of his son, while the other…

With a polite knock and a small push, the wooden door yielded, revealint that it was indeed as he suspected.

Standing with her arms crossed and her back against the wall, Kirei's servant, stared at his son from practically the other side of the room as his boy worked the stove.

"I hope I'm not interrupting?" he said with a grin and walked in, closing the door behind him.

The purple-haired ponytailed beauty's scowl, or what was visible behind her half mask at least, seemed to soften at the sight of him.

"No, my Lord. This humble servant was merely advising her Master and—"

"And, I've already told you, there is no need to think, merely do as you're told."

Risei could see the well-built heathen woman all but grind her teeth together at Kirei's foolish words. Her dark muscles flexing and grinding against one another as desire to at the very least slap Kirei warred with the Hassans ingrained devotion to one's master.

He sighed, well at least the boy sounded happy. Happier than he heard him be in a long while. And besides, it was a father's job to correct his son's messes.

"Now, now, Kirei, there's no need for such talk," he said and offered a wink at the woman, and it might've been his imagination, but the beauty seemed to squirm just a touch. Heh, still got it. "Lady Hassan here is wise and has no doubt seen and done much in her time. To discard her words out of hand would be the height of folly. Understand?" he asked as he took a seat at the head of the table.

Kirei, continuing to stir the pot, sighed and nodded. "Yes, father. Assasin."

"Master?"

"We will discuss your ideas, later."

A smile formed once again on Risei's face. Good, his son saw the error of his ways then and—

He sniffed and scrunched up his nose.

Surely not.

Listening to Kirei humming and then watching as he at last, removed the pot from the fire and brought it to the table the suspicion grew. Watching as he begun to fill bowl after bowl with that concoction, Risei couldn't help but groan.

"Really, Kirei?"

"What do you mean, father?"

Wow, the jovial tone and that smile, his boy was in a really good mood!

Risei pointed at one of the bowls filled with the hissing destroyed of mouth and bellies.

"That," he said. "I told you to deal with that obsession of yours, even I don't like food as spicy at that, Kirei."

But Kirei would not be deterred. "It is merely a way to test one's devotion to the Lord, father. But if you're feeling inadequate, I understand…"

Gkhhh! That cheeky brat.

"Fine. Pass it over," he groused and accepted the bowl, and blinked, was one of Kirei's arms always a shade darker than the other? It would seem they would have more catching up to than he thought after the mess with the Grail was over and Tokiomi won.

Taking his first spoonful of the tofu, Risei felt his eye threaten to water but he managed to tough it. It was a near thing.

"Assasin, would you like a bowl?"

"This lowly servant thanks you and is humbled by your generosity but I'll have to refuse on the ground that we Servant's don't need sustenance."

Smart woman.

The meal was… an experience. "Now…" he coughed, his left eye watering as one last bit of fire masquerading as a food particle went down the wrong airway. His son, aside from sweating profusely appeared perfectly fine. As usual. "Now. Let us discuss yesterday's events. I trust everything went as planned?"

Kirei nodded. "More or less, Assassin sacrificed one of her clones—"

"Selves, not clones"

"Yes, that," Kirei said, ignoring the woman's affronted tone. "And successfully baited out an attack from Tokiomi's Servant." Kirei licked his lips with a napkin. "And yes, she is as powerful as we theorized."

Risei hummed and tapped his fingers on the table. "Mmh, that is good. With that, our alibi is set. As far as the world is concerned, assassin is now dead and thus you may continued to aid Tokiomi from the shadows. Good, my son, very good!" Risei said, a wide beaming smile spreading across his face.

Things were going according to plan!

Soon, everything would be done and—

"But…"

"Kirei?" his son was staring at his arm, he'd been right before, it was darker than it should be, and there were veins running up and down.

"You see, father, I've been thinking and, well, I believe a change of plans is in order." Kirei said with a shrug and a small smile.

"My son?" what was the foolish boy on about—

A sensation akin to wave of fire traveling across his neck had him try to scream only to find out he couldn't… couldn't breath, couldn't scream, couldn't feel anything bellow his neck.

Above that though was a different story.

For alongside the agony rushing upwards from below, a brief wave of nausea caused his eyes to roll into the back of his skull, the last clear image being that of a corner of the ceiling, spinning and growing closer. But that was preposterous—

xxx

'Squelch'

'Thump'

Ignoring his father's head smacking and then dropping on the floor below just as his headless body did, Kirei instead, loosened up his shirt and refiled his bowl with another serving.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw how both, one of Assassin's remaining 'faces' stared with what Kirei was pretty sure was regret at the corpse, while by his side, Hundred faces hassan vibrated with a quiet furry.

He started humming between bites.

That probably did it.

"Despicable!" the woman hissed. "Haram, Shaitan, Filth!" she spat, each word growing harsher and harsher, and yet the mad Assassin's own weird code of honor and devotion staying her hand. "To kill your own kin…"

"Ah, but I merely said the words, it was you who did the deed, Assassin, am I really to blame here?"

"Yes."

He chuckled. "Fair enough."

"Why do it, or at least, why now of all times, and why here of all places?" the woman asked, no doubt trying to find a shred of sanity or misguided foolishness in his heart.

Kirei sighed and pushed away the plate, he couldn't eat with such nagging. So best deal with it.

"It is simple really. Before last night, I was lost, adrift to the sea with neither a compass or a vessel. But now…" he stared at his arm, the symbol of a magnificent deal. "Now, for the first time in my life I have both a goal and a way to get to it. Everything else, all… this?" he spat, waving an arm towards their surroundings. "Pointless, either for what's to come or to help me get there. Thus no need to maintain the charade."

Hassan's skin seemed to pale a few shades and even her summoned face dismissed himself rather than ponder the meaning behind his words.

"W-what do you mean?"

He could hear her swallow.

His grin turned shark like as he focused towards her.

"Come now, you know what I speak off, we're connected after all, are we not?" he asked and tapped the side of his head. "I'm sure you know what happened last night~"

The woman, the Heroic Spirit out of Myth and Legend, took a step backwards. Her knees shaking.

"M-Monster. You would really do it?"

Kirei chuckled.

"Takes one to know one I believe the saying goes?"

With the blissful silence restored, Kirei resumed his meal. But sadly, it didn't last.

"So, should I ready myself, Master?" the woman asked with a weary tone.

Throwing his spoon down in irritation, Kirei yet again looked at Hassan.

"What in the blazes are you talking about woman?" he snapped, and blinked. For the woman was avoiding his eyes and twirling a strand of purple in one of her fingers.

"W-Well, Master, as you suspected, I did indeed witness your meeting last night. And thus, as a woman and your slave, I'm merely asking if you will—"

"Ah, yes, I see." Kirei nodded, muslims did have that peculiar law about slaves, and given the age she was from it was understandable that she'd fear he would be interested.

And normally she'd be right, but after all those interruptions?

"No, no need."

"M-Master?" was that a mix of disappointment mixed with anger in her voice? Good, very good.

"Your virtue is safe, Hassan. I am a man of God. I do not force myself on others."

"You… I… B-but yesterday…"

"She was perfectly willing, was she not?"

"Gkhh!" Hassan had no counter to that. But still, a woman's pride was a predictable thing and so. "Why?"

Bingo. Even though he didn't show it, he was smiling.

"Oh very well," he said with a sad sigh, as if forced to reveal something he'd been keeping hidden for Hassan's sake. "In truth you're just not my type."

"Oh… I see. It's because—"

"No, it has nothing to do with your delectable chocolate shade my dear, you're simply… too muscular."

"Gkh!"

Another critical hit.

That would teach her to not let a man eat in peace.

"But enough about that, spawn a few more of your selves and scan the grounds, go find where my Father has the Command Seals from the previous wars stashed. Oh, and scan his appearance as well, we might still need it."

"…Yes, Master," the woman said with a sulking tone, before leaving to do just that.

Peace at last.

xxx

"How was your trip, Sensei?"

Kiritsugu, his hands deep in the guts of the Calico M950, paused and turned a questioning look towards his partner.

"Maiya?" what brought this on, he didn't ask.

He didn't need to.

The stoic redhead beauty, kneeling by the hotel suite's half-open window knew him better than that, and the fact that he didn't like flights ever since that day.

The expression in her black-eyes did not change as she continued to disassemble her own weapon, the woman's own hands growing slick and black with grease and oil just like his.

"You've been quiet," she added at last with a tiny huff, as if that explained everything.

Which, in a way, I suppose it does. Kiritsugu's lips twitched, almost forming a bittersweet smile. For after all dear Maiya went through? She might as well have been shouting and shaking him.

"Maiya, you do remember I'm not much of a talker in the first place, yes?" he asked with a wry grin.

"Yes," the woman nodded, either missing or not caring for his attempt at humor. Making Kiritsugu wince, he wasn't sure which case was worse. "Even so, too quiet, even for you," the girl said with finality and looking at her weapon with a critical eye before nodding and reassembling it in record time. And then moving on to the next piece of equipment.

Kiritsugu sighed and fought the urge to run a hand through his hair, he didn't want to get grease and oil on it after all. It would be a right bitch to get it out after.

"Well, you're right," he said at last as he tied all of the parts in front of him back into a functioning gun yet again.

"Mmh," the girl said with a nod.

Only for him to shake his head, "No. Or at least… not yet, I've still to come to terms to it. But… you do deserve to know even so… Maiya?"

"Yes, Sensei?"

"Everything in order?"

"Yes, Sensei."

"…good, pack up the essentials, we're going to check out the sites you picked."

"Yes, Sensei."

The trip through the streets of Fuyuki was shorter than it had any right to be, as was their climb up the building's rooftop.

But then again, they weren't normal people. Being quick and efficient was part of the job description.

Standing with one foot on the black lip of the concrete rooftop, the wind making his hair ruffle and the edges of his cloak sway, looked at the traffic rushing down bellow, the tiny metal boxes rushing hither and too, the sounds of them doing so muted this far up, and then at the buildings around them, where the first night lights were starting to turn on.

He puffed his cigar.

"—And that's the gist of it, Maiya." Kiritusugu said, blowing out a dark cloud as he did and staring at the cloudless sky where the first stars were glimmering, his brows furrowing. "If Saber is telling the truth, that is."

"And do you trust him, Sensei?"

He turned his head and found what he expected, Maiya laying prone, her AUG deployed in front of her, scanning the world through her scope. Checking and ensuring yet again, that the spot she'd scouted would work.

That was the gist of it, wasn't it?

Did he trust Saber?

No.

Trust had nothing to do with it.

Knowledge of who the man was, what he'd already inadvertently done for him and his family and him being his servant did.

"I trust his nature and his powers as Servant," Kiritsugu said and flicked the butt of his cigar out into the void while in the distant horizon, the yellow ball turning orange started to descend below the waters.

Maiya tensed and pulled her eye away from the scope, facing him with an arched eyebrow.

"And you're sure it is not because he used said powers on you?"

"Admittedly, I can not guarantee that to not be the case, but, I'm reasonably certain that is not the case."

Maiya, sweet, dear, Maiya nodded at that and turned back on her scope. His word being law as usual.

"Then what do we do, Sensei?"

Sighing, and taking a step back from the lip, Kiritsugu reached for the black rectangular suitcase resting next to the rooftop ac unit. Undoing the latches and pulling out his own sniper rifle, running through the familiar motions of checking the bolt and everything else with ease.

Nodding, Kiritsugu turned, and attaching the bi-pod, dropped to all fours, ensuring that he too had a full point of view below.

"We still go on, Maiya, even if the Grail is corrupted and all…" His breath hitched. "All but lost to us." Memories of all the atrocities he committed danced through his head for an instant before he shoved them back with an iron will. "That doesn't mean we can up and leave. For even if we do, someone else will eventually reach it and trigger whatever curse lies at the heart of it."

That was right, even there was no salvation to be found for him here? It was still his job to save the most he could. Despair could come after. One soul for 7 billion? Easy choice—

"Sensei."

He didn't look up from his scope.

"There's still something more, what is it?"

He twitched and gritted his teeth.

Damn it, he trained her too well. And also, why was it now that she started to display emotions, even if in a primitive way and mostly sass at that, after he spent so many years trying and failing to get her to do so?

Scowling, he tore his gaze away from the scope and looked towards Maiya… only for the girl to be gazing back at him.

The hell did he do to deserve this?

"Alright, you want to know the truth? Before I left I saw something so horrible, so disgusting that… that I'm not sure the world will ever make sense again."

Maiya arched an eyebrow.

"I saw Acht smiling, smiling, Maiya!" he shouted.

The woman said nothing, a gust of winding ruffling her hair before her second eyebrow joined its twin and after a few moments she nodded to herself. As if things made sense at last.

"Mmh, indeed. There there, Sensei," the girl said in a deadpan and focused back on her task.

Kiritsugu twitched. Ungrateful little shit…

xxx

"Have a safe trip, Our Lord!"

"We will sing songs of your inevitable Victory!"

"We believe in you!"

Saber, a plastic smile on his face, waved at the gathered crowd of albinos all around him as he made his way towards the barred doors of the castle. All of them Homonculi, all of them here to see him off.

He wasn't sure who to blame for this mess.

Part of it all lay with his original self no doubt, and yet… Yet more lay with one of his other aspects as well. After all, the power that caused this mess was His.

And yet… At the end of the day, Saber, felt like he could be excused, after all, how was he to know that using it on Homonculi would magnify its effects so much? To him people were people were his children, when you got down to it. Even if the cheering crowd, whose limbs and faces would not be out of place at a vampire gathering were a bit… lacking in soul integrity and structure when compared to the children he was used too.

…In hindsight that should have been his clue, shouldn't have?

And he'd been merely trying to help his Master.

Speaking of his Master.

"My Lady, did I do something to offend you?" He asked, Lady Irisviel, the woman all but joined at the hip with him, her arm clutching, more like attempting to tear out his bicep as she smiled at him.

"But of course not, Saber! Why do you ask?"

He opened his mouth to respond. And closed it, before shaking his head.

"No, nothing, My Lady, forgive me."

The woman confused him. For the venom in her voice, her action and the aura of her smile said one thing. And yet the innocence and confusion radiating from her eyes and soul said another.

As an already married man, and thus experienced in such matters, Saber came to a decision.

This was a mess for his Master to deal with, he wasn't touching this with a ten-foot pole.

xxx

As the departing figures grew smaller in the distance and the Castle's door banged shut, the crowd broke into smaller groups, each chattering with excitement.

Acht, for his part, standing proud at the top of the stairs, stopped smiling and turned to his assistant.

"Juvia."

"Yes, Lord Jubstacheit?" the white-haired, purple-eyed beauty asked, snapping to attention.

"There is no time to waste. Where is she?"

"Lady Illyasviel has locked herself in her room and is refusing to come out."

Acht nodded and rubbed his smooth beard. About what he expected.

"And have the items I requested arrived?"

His aide winced, and his eyes narrowed. "Juvia?"

"A-apologies my Lord, but we've only managed to acquire only half in so short a time…" the girl trailed off and shut her eyes as if afraid he would hit her for her failure, or worse condemn her to…

Acht closed his eyes and rubbed his nose. No. Not anymore, not after being shown the error of his way.

"It can't be helped then." He sighed.

"S-sir?" the girl asked, peeping through one partially open eyelid, in a rare expression of hope.

"This has all to do with my failure not yours, Juvia. At any rate, even half will do to start with."

The girl's eyes shone with gratitude. "Y-yes sir!" she snapped a salute before her expression turned stoic again and she faced her subordinates. "You and you, go and bring the items."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Acht nodded and without another word begun climbing the stairs, time truly was of the essence here. With a snap of his fingers, one of the newest books he'd procured appeared on his hand, and he resumed reading from where he stopped last night.

'How to Grandpa for Dummies.' He had to start somewhere after all, and he'd already learned so much! Children like presents and smiles and hugs? Who knew!

xxx

Deep beneath the ground the sound of a heartbeat echoed, slow, slow enough that on on any human it would result in a mad dash to the E.R. and yet all was well.

"Mmh~ Kirei, dear, I did not know that was an avenue of pleasure as well~" the voice echoed, murmuring to itself as memories of the previous night flashed through the entity's head. Their meeting ending in a similar if different and yet equally pleasurable manner.

"Still, I don't like the vibrations in the air, so best lend a helping hand to dear old Kirei~" the sinister giggle spreading through the cavern seemed to dim the light. Before it abruptly cut. "But… how to do that? I don't want to, mmh… touch them and their patrons, they're icky, so a boost is no go. Oh, Kirei, if only we could talk right now and… Oh! I'm a genius! Fufufu~!"

xxx

The Pupil ignored the gurgling as he raised and brought down the knife yet again.

Following the patters and the lessons Mister Devil had taught him. Speaking of his teacher…

Lifting his eyes away from his latest project and ignoring the flickering lights of the suburban house, somewhat of a rarity in Fuyuki, and even more so in Japan in general. He found the Devil, standing tall and proud over his own canvas… and not doing much else.

"Mister Devil?" he asked before a weak bloodstained arm tried to grasp him and he swatted it to the side. "Wait your turn," he said in a scolding tone. "Teacher, sir?"

"Oh~" his Teacher seemed to come back from… wherever it was he was doing and turned his head with a smile, the monster overcoming his strabismus for a moment, focusing both eyes on him. "What is it my child? Do you require further guidance?"

The Pupil shook his head. "No my Lord, I was merely concerned, you seemed, well… frozen? Unaware even?" he asked, naked worry entering his tone. Devils couldn't get sick, could they? He still had so much to learn!

Luckily it would seem that his worries were unfounded, at least if the deep-bellied laugh of the robe-wearing Devil served as an indication.

"Fufufu~ Worry not my child, although I'm flattered by your concern it is unneeded in this case. Our gracious guide merely entered into communion with me so as to share yet another path we may pursue."

An excited grin split the Pupil's lips.

"What is it?"

Only for his Teacher to shake his head and wave a finger.

"Tut-tut. The Lord abhors idle hands, we'll talk as we work."

The Devil was right, as usual.

Still, he listened as they worked. And if anything his excitement grew even further.

"That's… is that truly a thing, is such a thing even possible?" he asked as he stood and walked close to the Devil, presenting to him his soaked knife for inspection.

"Mmh~ Adequate. But I expect better next time young man."

"Yes, Teacher!"

"Good," the man nodded, a kind smile forming on his face. "And to answer your question, yes it is possible, very much so in fact. And we, of course shall take advantage of this blessing the Lord has provided for us… When the time is right. But enough about that for now. Come, let us be off, we must continue our holy mission."

"As you say Devil-san!"

"Fufufu~"

xxx

"So, Mr Saber, did you like it?"

Cocking his head, the man turned towards his companion, the woman looking at him with a smile.

"Like… what?"

Lady Irisviel giggled.

"The flight silly!" she said and gave him a playful shove and he allowed her push to move him. For the magical illusion overlaying his form and his majestic armor, replacing it with a common suit? It changed not what lay underneath, or what he was capable off.

Still, she deserved an answer at least.

He opened his mouth only for the soft sound of sliding doors to reach him, followed by words asking him to move.

Right, they were still in front of the airport.

"My apologies," he said in fluent japaneze to the old couple behind them, and with an incline of his head, Saber and Irisviel both moved a bit to the side. No longed blocking the path.

"I didn't know you spoke the local language," the woman said with a blink, tone prodding.

"I didn't not in life, perks of my… nature, you could say." He could almost see the question marks form in the woman's brain. "Alas, a subject for another time. But anyway, to answer your question my lady the flight was enjoyable, not the best I've experienced but good enough. But enough about that, how are we getting to your estate?"

If anything, his words seemed to fire up Irisviel more, for the woman, momentarily let go of her bags and all but jumped in place, stars seeming to form in her eyes.

"Ohhhh~ Kiri told me you were from Babylon, I didn't know they had planes back then!"

"Well no—" Blond hair accompanied by an almost assuredly trademarked laugh flashed through his head. "I mean, not… exactly?" He was sure the prick had a plane, a spaceship and a few other weird gizmos that could serve as one in his hoarding gate.

…And that did not account for the info fed to him by a few of his other sets of memories.

Great. It would seem that Archer had been telling the truth when he said that being summoned left you with a haze that took a couple of days to clear, and as if that wasn't enough, with all his conflicting origins? It would seem that he was to heroic spirits what Archer was too swords…

He blinked, who the hell was 'Archer'?

"—can't wait till I fly on an ancient Babylonian battleship and—"

And it would seem those were problems for later, cause people were starting to stare.

"And my Lady I'm sure you'll get the chance," he said and laid a hand on the white-haired woman's shoulder. "Later, now, our method of transportation?"

Red eyes blinked at him before her face bloomed into a smile.

"Ah yes, worry not, Saber. Even though Kiri is a meanie and left before we could arrange stuff, I had father make some calls and so… come, come~!" she said, and picking up her pair of bags, turned around and started walking towards the parking lot.

"My lady, are you sure you know where we're going?"

The woman nodded without looking back. "Yeap! I memorized the path from the tour map!" Saber, carrying a ridiculous amount of bags for any normal man, shrugged. Well, if she was sure.

Soon enough, his doubts were put to rest.

For Irisviel, as if she had a preternatural sense guiding them, led them straight to a curiously empty spot in the airport's parking lot.

He sniffed and nodded to himself.

Magic, as he suspected, most likely of the warding variant.

And at the center of the exclusion zone Saber saw…

He paused, a nameless dread filling him, the first he'd ever felt in this life. Greater even then the one he felt during his battle with Tiamat from what two sets of his memories told him.

"Saber?"

Blinking, the man out of myth, looked towards his charge, whom was staring at him from right next to the silver Mercedes-Benz 300sl driver's door, her head cocked in confusion, the keys dangling from her fingers.

"Is everything alright?"

He swallowed and shook his head, plastering a smile on his face.

"Y-yes, just caught me by surprised, is all. I wasn't aware you could drive." Hell, it was even the truth.

At that the woman's frown seemed to evaporate, a smile replacing it.

"Oh yes! I'm quite good at it too."

Mirroring her smile, Saber stepped closer, even if with every step his heartbeat continued to climb for some reason. Besides, what did he have to fear, he was a Heroic Spirit.

xxx

Gilgamesh raised her cup to her lips and took a sip, closing her eyes in delight as the ruby liquid rushed down her throat, a symphony of taste accompanying it and—

Her eyes flew open, the cup and the wine forgotten, dematerializing back to her treasury.

"Tokiomi."

The man, bent over the desk and in the middle of polishing some of her treasures tensed.

"Y-yes, My King?"

"He's come. It's time," she said with an excited smile, as if that explained everything.

"Are you sure, My King?"

Her smile dimmed. "Are you questioning the King's Judgemnt, mongrel?"

The redhead paled and shook his head. "O-Of course not, My King, but, I simply…"

She dismissed his pleas with a wave of her arm. "Yes, yes, your feeble mind needs proof, I understand. No need to worry, you'll have it tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Oh yes," she said with a nod and, with a snap of her fingers a set of portals sprang into existence, a group of owls shooting out of them with gold engraved letters clutched in their talons. "And I've already decided on the spot," she said as the birds flew out of the open window without need being told to do so. "After all, only the best will do for the King's reveal, yes?"

Tokiomi sighed and resumed polishing a bowl. "Yes, My King…"

Oh she couldn't wait~! In fact she was feeling so great that she of half a mind to re-instate Prima Nocta after their union, after all, Kings and their Queens needed to have mutual hobbies for a happy marriage do they not?

xxx

Kiritsugu dodged an invisible blow, then another, followed by him ducking under and stepping forward, delivering a punch to the target's solar plexus… or rather where one would be. His exposed arms glistening with sweat and shining with the lines of reinforcement.

2 degrees off, would still kill but… He ducked, as if, somehow, his shadow opponent still lived. Which given some of the things going bump in the night, it wasn't beyond the question.

"Shit!" his foot skidded against the carpet and he stopped. If that had been an apostle? He'd be dead.

Sighing he reset his posture and prepared to—

The mad screech of tires caught his ears, making him blink and turn towards the direction of the sound. "Please no," he murmured, a stone settling in his gut.

Giving his torso a quick one over with a towel and throwing on a shirt, Kiritsugu made his way out of his room and out of the Castle as fast as he could.

The sight outside made his heart freeze.

How did she find it! I thought I hid it!

"Hi, Honey~!"

Iri, waving at him as she jumped out of the car while Saber, face green, unfastened his seatbelt, and with slow, mechanical movements emulated his wife. Taking one step, two steps, and then upon completing his fifth keeling over. Face first into the loam with a groan.

"Oh no! Saber! Are you ok? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?"

Kiritsugu and Saber both twitched at that. She did realize Saber was a servant, yes?

"He's fine, Honey. No need for that." the Magus Killer rushed to the man's defense. "It's my fault."

Iri blinked at him. "Eh?"

"Due to the distance and all I've not been feeding him as much mana as I should, that's all."

"Ah…" the woman nodded, and Master and Servant breathed sighs of relief.

"Anyway, how was your trip?" Kiritsugu asked, approaching the car, and with a semi-recovered Saber, begun grabbing the bags.

"Oh, it was fine and—"

Kiritsugu stopped paying attention to his wife. Frowning, and trusting his senses he reached with an arm, undoing the strap keeping one of the bags closed and partially revealing its contents.

"Saber?"

"I see it too, Master."

"And then we— Kiri?"

Brows furrowing, Kiritsugu turned towards his wife and pointed at the item. "Did you do anything to it?" he asked, tone curious.

Causing the woman to blink and tilt her head.

"Eh, no, in fact I almost forgot we brought that. Kiri?"

"Yes, Iri?"

"Why is the magical scabbard, glowing?"

Kiritsugu sighed and then nodded, a patient smile on his face. "Yes, Iri, that's what we're wondering as well."

For its part, if the fae Scabbard could and did wish to speak, the thoughts currently running through its head would amount to: 'If owner here and owner stronk then why owner evil?'

Iri's brows furrowed and a cute pout found its way on her face as the woman seemed to think really hard for a moment and then she slammed a fist on her open palm.

"It is a mystery!" she nodded, proud of her deduction.

Saber eyed Kiritsugu, Kiritsugu eyed Saber. They both nodded.

"Yes, Iri, as you say. Now then…" Kiritsugu, bags secured started walking towards the castle, only for an imperius sounding hoot, wait what?

"Master, is that an owl?"

Stopping but a few steps from the open gate, Kiritsugu was forced to conclude that yes, the bird that landed in front of them, one of its talons extended, was in fact an owl, yes.

He opened his mouth to… agree with his servant, demand answer, commiserate in the weird moment, even he wasn't sure. But his Servant's next words put a stop to that.

"Tiamat's tits!" Judging by the man's groan, this wasn't good.

"What is it, Saber?"

"I recognize the handwriting." The man said, before letting loose a series of rather imaginative curses. Kiritsugu stealing a few for future use even.

"Oh my!"

He could do without Iri learning more swear words though.

xxx

The pity patter of tiny feet broke the silence, followed by a serious faced purple haired youth carrying a letter.

"This came just now, for you, Master."

"Good job, Sakura, did you eat breakfast yet?" the child shook her head.

How… vexing, I'll have my work cut out with this one.

"Do you want a sweet then, donuts are good for your health!"

Another shake. Another sigh.

xxx

"Fufufu~ I can already see it, you and me, Lord Lancer, sailing the world together and—"

Inching away from the crazy woman, Lancer turned towards his Master, and blinked. For one, the big idiot was not fawning and exalting the creature's virtues.

Instead, in the man's hands, a paper parchment lay, the contents making Kayneth frown while at his feet an…

"Hoot!"

"Is that an owl?"

His Master blinked and looked at the owl and then at Lancer.

"Why yes, yes it is."

"And its here with us, why?"

"Because it was carrying a message."

Sola, having crept next to Lancer, simply sighed at his pleading look.

"No, he is always like this I'm afraid."

Great. Another idiot to babysit and bonk on the head when he was being too foolish, as if he didn't deal with enough idiots like that back when he was alive.

Grumbling, and seeing that Kayneth was not in the mood to share, Lancer stomped over, the woman trailing after him.

"Hoot!"

The bird, it would seem, took offense to that.

"Unless you want me to open you an one way portal to my Teach's house?" a bloodthirsty grin spread across Lancer's face. "I'd suggest you shut it you undersized turkey."

"…hoot."

"That's better." With that dealt with, he leaned over and started skimming the document's contents at the same time as Sola and Kayneth did.

He blinked. "We're not going, right?" No way, after all it was an obvious—

Kayneth nodded.

Finally, the idiot saw reason—

"Oh, we're going."

Lancer's mouth fell open. And even the woman seemed taken by surprise.

"Master…"

"Yes, Lancer?"

"Might, I point out that this is, almost assuredly, a trap?"

Kayneth, rolled up the parchment and threw it on a nearby table.

"Lancer, don't be ridiculous, this is the opening salvo to this great war, the chance to meet our valiant opponents! No way would this be a trap, not today!"

Lancer stared, and stared some more, he even raised an arm ready to make a point, before catching Sola, pale faced if resigned, shake of her head.

He nodded and lowered his arm.

His Master was an idiot then and he they would most likely die today, but, at least he'd get his wish for a good fight!

xxx

"R-R-Rider, you do know this is—"

"A trap?" the muscular tanned giant asked? Grinning down at his young friend. "All but guaranteed, but, young Waver, do you know what the best way to avoid a trap is?"

"W-what?"

"To spring it at your own terms."

"R-Rider!"

xxx

"Devil-san, shall we go?"

The monster shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not, those childish games have little to do with out holy task."

xxx

"We have to go."

Kiritsugu looked away from the letter and towards the towering man standing next to his desk, frowning down at the letter.

"You do know—"

"I do."

"Then why?"

The man's fist crunched together, the harsh sound of metal scraping against metal filling the room for but an instant before Saber sighed and unwound his fists and pointed at the letter with his index.

"The name at the end, look at it again," he directed and Kiritsugu did just that with a frown.

For a moment nothing seemed out of the ordinary and then it clicked.

"Ah…"

"Quite," Saber said with an irritated nod. "It is one of my names, and if she's willing to use it so blatantly and over a simple letter? She's all but admitting that she wants me there and it's best for all of us that we oblige her."

Kiritsugu dropped the useless bit of parchment on the table and with a push rose to his feet.

"She's really that dangerous?" he asked, half of his mind still refusing to believe the, what to his ear sounded like tall tales, of the mythological King.

"That and more," the man said with a shake of his head, before placing an arm on Kiritsugu's shoulder and looking him square in the eye. "I implore you to take this warning seriously Master, we aren't ready to deal with her, not just yet. Not when we are with our pants down."

The Magus Killer's lips twitched and he nodded.

Half his brain refused to believe this yes, the other half, the rational part used to dealing with a world full of irrationality? Was quite ready to believe… and make preparations.

Striding towards the door and stepping out into one of the Castle's hallways, Saber following suit, Kiritsugu started to make, and discard, plan after plan.

"For a moment lets forget the other hostiles, what are the target's weaknesses?"

Saber rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, Master, you see that's the problem. Despite being mortal, for the most part, when she takes things seriously? She's anything but."

Great.

Just great.

He merely wanted to bring peace to the world!

What did he do to deserve all this?

…right, silly question.

xxx

"Wow! Mr Saber you're very strong!"

For but an instant, Saber started and almost stumbled, but, just as quick and thanks to his preternatural reflexes his maintained his stride.

"Pardon, Master?" he asked, turning his head some to look at his white-haired 'Master' over his shoulder.

"And cool too!" the woman all but jumped in place as she hurried after him and with a blink and a sigh he realized what she was alluding too.

"Ah." He shook his head and rested the flat of his concealed blade on his shoulder, taking a page out of another blonde Saber and hiding one of the 'tales' to his legend, only, unlike that King, Saber opted to use thin currents of water in place of air.

"You flatter me, Master, but you're wrong."

"Eh?" with his eyes darting from Lady Irisviel to the shipping containers all around them and his senses primed, ears scanning for as much as a hint of danger while his nose did his best to parse through the aching taste of salt in the air, he almost missed the woman's cute tilt.

He smiled. "My 'strength'?" he asked, nodding towards the magenta aura surrounding him. "It's merely bluster. A beacon if you will, declaring that I'm here. And while, yes, it does somewhat represent my actual strength there's more to Heroic Spirits than mere strength."

His 'Master's' mouth formed an 'o' of surprise as she slapped a fist on her palm.

"But then, won't that draw attention to us?"

"Precisely," he said with a wink and a tiny nod to the side.

"oh. Oh!" Irisviel's said, her eyes widening.

"Then—"

Saber held up his hand as they turned a corner. "We're here Master, and we're not alone."

"So you've come!" an arrogant voice proclaimed from further up ahead. A familiar voice. "Don't you know that it's rude for the Queen to keep a King and her guests waiting?"

xxx

Peering through his gun's scope, his lips couldn't help but pull into a scowl as he scanned one, two, three… those were a lot of targets.

This was quickly turning into a proper clusterfuck.

He leaned a tad closer to the microphone sticking to his suit's lapel "Do you have sight of the main target?"

xxx

"Hello to you too, King Gilgamesh," he said with a sigh as he strode forward, towards the central space with confidence he didn't feel.

"Oh my! The world's oldest Hero?" Lady Irisviel acting like an excited puppy trailing after him didn't help.

"Oho?" the raised eyebrow and the amused quirk of the woman's lips promised nothing good for Saber's sanity or his blood pressure. Neither did the gathered assortments of faces, soon to no doubt become opponents. "You know of me, woman? I'm pleased Dragon, your taste has remained stellar as has the company you keep."

Watching the King lick her lips was a bridge too far.

He brandished his still invisible sword. "I suggest you recant, woman!" for 'fake' Master or not, Irisviel was still under his protection for now. Plus, his actual Master entrusted her safety to him.

"The King does as the King wills!"

Great, why did she have to be summoned in her worse aspect?

Gilgamesh's eyes narrowed. "You've just thought something insulting, did you not?"

Of all the times to use her bullshit prescience she chose now? He tightened his grip around the handle and begun feeding mana to the blade, preparing for the all but inevitable clash, and from the neigh imperceptible shift in the King's stance, she did the same.

"Humu humu, I see, I see," the sound of someone eating of all things, made Saber blink and turn to the side. "No matter what version of him, or her in this case, the golden jerk remains the same." That face… Saber's brows furrowed, where had he seen it before— "Always arrogant and always a poor host."

His jaw hung low, did the pipsqueak just say what he thought she'd said?

"Oho? Care to repeat that, brat?" apparently, she did.

"Gladly," the golden eyed girl in a dark hoodie said, before finishing another donut from Tiamat knows where. "You, goldie." She pointed a finger at Gilgamesh. "Are a poor host."

A series of golden portals spun into existence behind the King. Sharp blade after sharp blade poking through.

"After all, you've yet to introduce as."

"Hrk!"

And just as quickly as they'd come, the portals winked out of existence and Gilgamesh almost fell down from her perch, a rare blush visible on the woman's cheeks.

"Ahem, indeed. I was merely testing you mongrels, to see if you were worthy of the King's—"

"Ah, she forgot," Irisviel whispered from his side… naturally everyone gathered here heard her.

"Worthy of the KING'S attention!" the blonde all but shouted, a tick mark on her forehead. "Anyway, mongrels, introduce each other," Gilgamesh said with a dismissive gesture.

xxx

"Yes, I have clear view of the world's oldest power bottom."

"MAIYA!"

xxx

For a moment, a frown came over Gilgamesh's visage, and she started looking around, but before anything could come off it, the blonde waif of a girl in a hoodie strode forward. Coming to a stop but a few feet from Saber and, summoning her golden blade stabbed it into the ground. Standing tall, proud, and majestic… all 5.6 of her.

"Humu! Be pleased future subject of mine, for you stand in front of the greatest Saber to ever live! I'm Mhxa!"

At her words, a cascade of half buried memories triggered and he finally remembered where he knew her from. Still, despite the star wars expy in front of him, one of her words made his mouth open and close a few times, before at last giving up and turning towards Gilgamesh.

For once, the arrogant King seemed to commiserate with Saber and his unasked question.

"Yes, she's been like that the whole time, and yes, she does, in fact believe she's a 'Saber'," the woman said sighing and facepalming.

Saber nodded. For even if he lacked the insight his memories lend him in regards to the tiny woman. One thing became clear.

They found this war's Berserker.

"Wow! I didn't know Sith existed or that Star Wars was a documentary!"

Mhxa twitched…as did Saber.

Damn it Lady Irisviel, did you have to say the quiet part out loud?

After all, somewhat sane or not, the girl affectionately known as 'Echan' by some, if his memories were to be believed, remained a Berserker. So anything could set her off, especially—

The tiny waif of a girl frowned, and behind her glasses, her golden eyes glowed as she waved an arm glad in a dark gauntlet towards Saber and Iri's direction.

"This isn't the Sith you're looking for."

Only for Irisviel to blink and her smile widen.

"So cool! You can even do the thing! Can you also move things with your mind as well?"

The girl's frown deepened, and a dark aura enveloped her.

"This isn't the—"

"I'm willing to pay to see it!" Irisviel butted in, and tapped her finger on her chin. "Maybe… you look like a girl with a sweet tooth."

The aura of danger around Mhxa vanished as if it was never there in the first place. The majesty of King replacing it.

"I'm willing to listen to all of my subjects requests, yes."

Saber blinked and blinked again, before gazing at Iri.

How the fu—

"As…interesting as this is…" thankfully for Saber's sanity, a blue-haired, red-eyed man in an equaly blue spandex that left little to the imagination strode forth. "My palms are getting itchy, and you seem like a dude raring for a fight as much as I am." The man came to a stop with a smile but a few feet from them.

Making Mhxa huff and give him the stink eye at his intrusion in the 'negotiations' pertaining the King's stomach.

"Yo! Servant Lancer, pleased too meet you!" the man said with a grin, and slammed the shaft of his red barbed spear against his shoulder, sending his ponytail swaying as he did. "You're unfamiliar to me Saber, but, if the hag up there is that fixated on you, you're alright in my book, so, let's have good fight to the death, yeah?" the man asked, sending him a thumbs up.

Saber couldn't help but snort, if nothing else the man was honest. Just about what he expected from his memories. He nodded and opened his mouth—

Only for a blazing fast blade to shoot like an arrow at the spandex wearing man, before Lancer batted the projective aside with a blink.

"Mongrel!"

"What is it hag? Are you blind as well as senile? Can't you see we were talking? Sheesh, I can smell the thirst from here, you're almost as bad as Medb!"

"Uncouth as well as smooth brained." Mxha added, scowling at Lancer. The girl, it would seem, unwilling to forgive the man any time soon for his 'transgression'.

Gilgamesh's eyes narrowed into this slits followed by a barrage of sharp objects shot at Lancer.

Right, no version of archer Gilgamesh ever got along with the Irish Hercules…

"Bwahaha! This is the way a meeting between Kings should go!" a booming voice proclaimed and Saber blinked at the sight of a red-headed, bronze skinned man atop a chariot barreling towards them while a black-haired youth clutched at the man with teary eyes and a scream—

With a song of power coursing through his veins, Saber moved through an almost frozen world. That is… for those not like him and his opponents.

Still, it was speed enough.

Enough to backpedal and wrap his arm around a starstruck Irisviel and fly out of the way of the madman driving the chariot and its horses, watching as Cu and Mhxa did the same.

For an instant, a terrible, dark thought crossed Saber's mind and he shuddered.

If those two ever give each other driving lessons…

The hair in his neck rose and he banished the dark dream to the deepest darkest pits of his mind as he landed a few feet away from the manic man and his fellow servants. Gilgamesh, of course, remaining aloof atop her pole, still gazing down at them with a smirk and crossed arms as…Rider? He kinda wanted to say Rider, turn his chariot around and smiled wide at them.

"Bwahahaha! Just what I expected from my fellow warriors! Be at awe! For the Great King Iskander stands amongst you!"

"R-Rider!" the tanned-man's young master tried, and failed to reign in his servant. Pouting and beating his fists against the man's gigantic bicep. Coincidentally that being the highest place the teen could reach. "You're not supposed to tell them your name!" the kid rightly complained. "Now they'll be able to—"

Only for Rider to shake his head. "Bwah! Who cares about that. All that subtlety and trickery is tiring and boring on the best of days, worry not Waver, there'll be enough time for that when I resume my conquests. But for now, let us all have fun! Bwahahaha!"

"Oho?" Saber tensed, not liking Gilgamesh's tone of interest in her voice. "You intend to rampage through my Garden once again, Oh Iskander?"

"But of course," Iskander said with a nod. "and speaking off." The grinning man cast his gaze over all of them. "You all seem a good enough sort, so." he spread his arms. "Why not join me in my travels as my companions?"

"R-rider!"

"Bwahahaha!"

For a moment, a tiny infinitesimal moment, an image of a dream flickered across Saber's consciousness. Of vast endless vistas and grinning companions at his side as they traversed through them. Experiencing everything the world had to offer…

He shook his head and a rueful smile split his lips, which, glancing at a worried Lady Irisviel turned melancholic.

"Your charisma is palpable, Rider—"

"Call me Iskander."

Saber nodded. "Iskander then, but, I'm afraid I have to decline, for I'm subservient to no man, and to my summoners I offered my services freely."

The man sighed and nodded. "Sad, but understandable. And your loyalty to your beautiful Master is as commendable as the woman deciding to accost you in a meeting between servants is foolish," the man said, crossing his arms and Saber fought the urge to smirk, and her rather suspected Irisviel doing the same. And besides, the man's hypocrisy was amusing to say the least, what with his own Master clinging to him atop that chariot of his. "But, I've yet to hear the rest of your answers."

"The King doesn't share food… I mean rule." Mhxa said, and Saber fought the urge to facepalm while Gilgamesh chuckled.

"You're rather precocious, oh King of Conquerors to dare and imply that I should serve you, but I like your audacity. Still, the answer remains no. And—"

A snort interrupted the oldest King. "And I can't believe I'm agreeing with the hag," Lancer said, absently batting aside another deluge of swords coming from the scowling woman. "But, as much as I… what was the expression again, ah yes, as much as I like the cut of your jib, I merely want to fight and you seem to be all about soldiers and war and stuff. Too regimental, to boring."

Iskander's shoulders slumped, and he sighed, as if expecting their answers and yet had been hoping for something else instead.

"I see, then…" lightning sparked into existence all around the man. The ancient conqueror preparing for a fight for the history books. And all around him, the aura of aloofness vanished from the rest of the servants as well. Mhxa's visage growing cold while bloodlust emanated from Lancer and Gilgamesh…was Gilgamesh.

Saber frowned.

This was expected, yes. But it didn't mean he had to like it.

Glancing at Lady Irisviel by his side and feeling the connection to his Master, the man nearby, he sighed and reached deep within him. Grasping and pulling at a distasteful part of himself. Still not sure whether the ability stemmed entirely from his legend or it had to do with his origins.

But he could ponder about it all another time.

For in his mind's eye, the power raced forth like an eager puppy and came to a stop around his throat. Enveloping it and—

"Must we really fight?" he asked, invisible harmonics spewing forth from his mouth, connecting with everyone within reach and making Servants and Masters alike blink and pause as they turned towards him—

Wait, Masters?

xxx

"Woah!"

Kiritsugu blinked and shared in Maiya's astonishment, but he suspected for rather different reasons than his partner did.

"So, this is the power he used back in germany against the old fart?"

Namely, the fact that Maiya was displaying actual emotions and interests not related to him at long last… The fact also remained that she could have chosen a better time to do so, yes.

"Yes," he answered with a monotone voice, gaze fixed through his scope at the imminent mayhem below.

"And you're sure he didn't mind whammy you as well?"

For an instant, Kiritsugu's reply stuck in his throat. The question once again reaming its head.

Did he target me as well?

Inadvertently, his mind flashed back to that day, back when Acht had stormed like a hurricane across the castle and had barged into their.

"What is the meaning of this?" Kiritsugu paused and turned away from Iri and towards the intruder.

"Lord Acht, I could pose the same question," he said, tone polite if still cold as he eyed the assorted gathering of Homonculi trailing behind Iri's 'father', armed and standing at attention behind the man who darkened their doorstep. "What seems to be the issue?" he asked and his arm moved an inch closer towards his coat… and the pistol awaiting within.

If anything, this only served to further infuriate the white-haired man, whose scowl deepened as his arm snapped upwards and pale fingers pointed at Saber.

"That is the issue," Acht growled, and Kiritsugu blinked.

"Saber?" he asked, for once stumped. What was the old idiot angry about now?

"Yes…" Acht hissed. "From the moment you summoned it. You and the vessel both," he nodded towards Iri's direction and it took a considerable amount of Kiritsugu's self control not to shoot the man. "Have spent an inordinate amount of time with it, plotting and scheming."

Kiritsugu's brows furrowed. But, what else was he supposed to do? He had a war to win. Even if the grail… He gritted his teeth, not now. And at any rate it was to his good luck that Saber and he seemed particularly compatible in thought if not behavior as well.

So, what was the problem? Did the old coot finally lose what little sanity he had left?

"But, Lord Acht…" still, he attempted diplomacy once again, Saber remaining silent, eyes lowered as well, same as Iri.

"No," The man snapped. "I can see the confusion swimming around your inferior brain so let me help you, son." If the sinister grin spreading across the old man's lips wasn't enough to set of a series of alarms in Kiritsugu's brain. Then the chosen words most certainly did.

"You see, the issue is simple and I can't believe I let myself be persuaded by the Troll."

What?

"The servant? It's been filling your brain and the vessel's with worrying thoughts and ideas."

Alarm flashed across Kiritsugu's face.

Saber!

His summon did not physically move. I'm ready, Master.

"But aside from the fact that the construct dares to profess expertise on Einzbern matters as well as suggest error in our creations…"

Kiritsugu held back a snort, maintaining a contrite expression. Right for Acht and the modern Einzbern were as good as a Servant hailing from the Age of Gods and an amalgamation of several Legends to boot. Saber was no magus or a crafter of legend… or rather he was, in a manner of speaking. But, he'd seen the man's still recovering memories and heeded his advice, despite his personal feelings.

By this point it was almost certain that the grail was tainted.

"But even worse than that? The construct treats the secondary vessel as if it were human and also pollutes her mind!" Acht snarled and at some unseen signal coming from the man, the sea of white behind him shuffled and parted, allowing a blue-haired woman to step forth. In her arms holding—

"Illya!" Iri's gasp seemed to come from far away as his pulse roared in his ears and Kiritsugu's vision seemed to tighten into a narrow corridor. For in the blue-haired woman's hands an unconscious Illya lay. He dies. And with a burst of mana, lines of reinforcement lit up all over his body, and with mental fingers he reached for the clock within his brain while also screaming into Saber's mind.

Don't worry Master, leave this to me. The man said, and in the space between heartbeats , Kiritsugu grit his teeth and fought to stay on wobbly feet, the sudden pull of mana from his Servant in tandem with the pressure slamming down on them all not helping.

At the very least, Acht and his cohorts seemed to fare even worse off.

And then, Saber, pulling on his authority as the Progenitor, opened his mouth and a song left his lips.

"Children. My children, must we really fight on this most auspicious of days?"

And with each word further flowing from the man's lips, Kiritsugu watched and felt the song dance and weave around him, Iri and almost certainly Illya, and yet… And yet, slamming into and through the gathered crowd.

The gathered Homunculi soon starting to sniffle and cry while shame filled Acht's face.

And even if Saber denied it when asked later, Kiritsugu felt pretty certain that the man had overdone it a tad. If simply by accident.

"Sensei?"

He blinked, coming back to the present and sighed. It was a good question. And worry gnawed in his gut for an instant, but then practicality and a trained will overwhelmed the worry weevil. Opting to let his focus drop, he shook his head.

"No, I'm pretty sure he didn't, Maiya. Granted, I might be wrong but the effects… let's just say they were pretty obvious and besides. Can't you feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"In the air, the current? Focus," he ordered, for despite neither of them being a 'true and proper' Magus, he was certain Maiya could do that much. After all, he could and he taught her everything she knew.

"Eh?" the woman's confused tone told him that she succeeded.

"That is the 'river' as I call it, it affect only those it drowns within its waters. Abd you and me? We're not its targets."

"Hmm. I see, so, Sensei, will it work?"

Kiritsugu frowned. He wanted to say yes, but Homunculi and Heroic Spirits were rather different…

At that moment an explosion occurred.

xxx

Just for an instant, and Saber pondered the matter of multiple nearby humans, the budding bloodlust came to a halt. Everyone pondering his words.

"After all, we're all reasonable people," he nonetheless continued, having to bite the inside of his cheek even as he said the words. None of the crazy monsters around him were anything but reasonable! "And I know that this may be a tad sudden, but even so, I have grave information to share in regards to the grail and—"

Lancer snorted, "And I don't care."

And just like that the spell was broken, all of the gathered servants blinking away the aura of peace he'd tried to instill.

He wanted to punch the idiot.

"Hooooh? I'm impressed, Dragon," Gilgamesh said, a dangerous glint in her eyes to accompany her wicked smirk. "To dare and attempt to compel me? As expected of my Queen, you have guts." She clapped her hands. "But." Her smile dropped the air growing cold. "You overstep. Don't forget your place Abzu!" she growled and amidst a widening of eyes, a barrage of swords, spears and other dangerous implements shot towards Saber.

The man not even having the time to curse as he brought his invisible blade forth and with frantic movements batted weapon after weapon aside. Doing his best to protect Lady Irisviel all the while cursing the oldest hoarder for revealing his identity with such ease.

"Bwahaha! Now that's more like it!" Iskander shouted, and with a snap of his whips, his chariot barged straight towards Abzu.

Tiamat's tits, fuck this fuckety fuck— Saber, a half-crazed smile on his face and with Irisviel firmly behind him, parried another sword and begun feeding mana to his concealed blade, it would seem that he'd be forced to unveil another of his cards so early.

Lancer would pay for this.

Luckily, it would seem that the fates were kind to him once and granted him a stay of execution.

For heartbeats before the chariot would come close enough to force him to act, a buzzing sound snapped into existence followed by a golden arching crescent beam slamming into the chariot and pushing it into one of the nearby containers. Totaling the metaling structure as it buried Iskander within.

Abzu, batting yet another nameless sword of legend aside, turned, and stared.

xxx

"Maiya."

"Yes, Sensei?"

"Am I seeing things?"

"Well, it depends…"

xxx

"So cool!" Lady Irisviel's excitement did not help matters as they all stared at the blonde waif of a girl.

xxx

"Maiya, her sword turned into a lightsaber."

"…Then no, your vision is just fine, Sensei. I'm seeing it too."

Kiritsugu fought the urge to cry. When did the world stop making sense?

"…I want to go home, Maiya."

"I'm afraid we can't do that, Sensei."

And the worst part was, he knew she was right!

xxx

Mhxa huffed and with an almost proud nod whipped her sword downwards, as if she was a samurai flinging blood.

"Repent for your misdeeds, future subject."

Abzu wanted to groan. That girl could really hold a grudge couldn't she?

He made to speak, to say something, anything against this madness but—

"The Babylonian Father of the Gods and humans alike, huh?"

A red spear attached to a grinning lunatic forced him to push prana throughout his limbs in a desperate attempt to keep his nose, and the rest of his face, in their place.

"Can't say, I'm seeing it," Lancer said, bloodlust radiating from him as he settled into a stance, an aura of red death blossoming around his spear.

Saber's eyes widened.

Shit!

Memories still somewhat hazy or not. He remembered enough. And he definetely did not want to get hit by that.

For the madman in front of him had taken advantage of the lull in battle, courtesy of Mhxa to try and scratch his itch… By attempting to kill or be killed.

The aura around the spear bloomed further and Abzu felt like crying as his eyes flitted to the wide-eyed Irisviel rooted behind him. For the idiot, it seemed, cared little for the damage his weapon could cause to bystanders. Otherwise why set it to what Saber suspected to be the spear's 'fortress busting mode'.

"But then again," the hound of ireland's grin widened. "Appearances can be deceiving, Teach taught me that much at least. So…"

"Mongrel! Punishing the Queen is the King's job!" Gilgamesh furious shout gave him a spark of hope. "cease this—"

"Humu, you're wide open." Only for Mhxa to dash said hope, by taking advantage of the King's distraction like the munchin she was.

"What—"

The radiant beam blossoming into a concealing explosion behind Lancer proceeded to uterly bury said hope.

"Have at you pops!"

A curse left Abzu's lips as spandex glad muscles bulged grotesquely and the spear flew free and true and Saber watched his death approach in agonizing slowness, frozen and unable to move.

He didn't want this.

He hated this.

He could do nothing and die and at the end of the day it wouldn't matter. After all, he, Saber, was but a shade. A conglomeration of spirits, myths, and tales. And yet…

His Master, Lady Irisviel, and even the Einzbern Homunculi rooted for him.

With yet another mental curse aimed at Lancer's parentage once again, Abzu spread his senses, touched the waters around and so near them and then reached for another part of his legend… Even if it felt wrong. And even if the waters surrounding them were salt waters? They would do.

Deep inside him, a seal like a winding serpent around his core uncoiled, shoulders slumping and moving with sudden ease, a sigh escaped his lips.

And then everything changed.

"The world flows, I'm the world," he muttered, the aria flowing from his lips. Stretching, and as the spear closed the distance, a certain satisfaction spread through him, for Lancer's eyes stared to widen as a stream of water, part sea tendrils part springing into existence gathered and formed a barrier in front of him and Lady Irisviel alike.

Then everything exploded.

xxx

In the last couple of minutes, Irisviel's world had been akin to a maelstrom.

From the appearance and meeting with all those larger than life figures to the whirwind of activity to fast to follow as they clashed, or rather, as she suspected, merely probed each other in greeting.

Still, with her back close to a container, she'd been almost certain that her time had come as Mr. Exhibitionist thrown what she'd been reasonably certain was a bomb in the shape of a spear.

But, as the dust settled, and a pressure heavier than even the spear settled all around them, in a feeling akin to being submerged in a river, she found that she remained among the living.

"Wow."

The note of admiration in her voice was as unbidden as it was genuine.

For in front of her, whereas but an instant before a strong, if almost normal knight, other than his golden armor had stood… Now Abzu stood, valiant and strong… if somewhat scary. For with his now bulging muscles, straining against the now restricting armor and the scales covering parts of his arm and neck that she could see. Or the translucent dark liquid wings spreading from his back.

Now, the sudden confusing surge of affection emanating from her as she looked at Saber? That, she was sure didn't come from her.

"Lancer…" with a growl, Kiritsugu's servant reached with a hand, sharp talons closing around the red lance that buried itself in the ground in front of him the moment it failed to pierce the barrier of water. "I'm going to pay you back for this, I just want you to know that." And with that promise, Saber returned the spear to its owner.

"Now that's better! You almost seem the part now, pops!"

"Don't call me that."

"If I'd known that threatening your Master would get you in the mood, I'd have done it earlier," the battlesexual man declared even as explosions went of behind him. The battle between an actual Sith and the oldest Hero raging on. "Still, for what is worth, I apologize Miss, it wasn't my intent to get you in the crossfire," the man said, inclining his head in her direction. "Just caught in the moment."

Iri blinked, but, didn't he just say… Kiritsugu's lessons in dealing with crazy people sprung to mind.

'Iri, the best way to deal with crazy idiots,'

"It's alright, I understand," she said with a smile…

'Is to agree and amplify so as to not escalate the situation.'

Before beginning to edge backwards.

'After all, if you do try and engage, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Also,'

"See?" Lancer said with a smile, turning to Saber. "Your Master is a rational and understanding woman. Why can't you be more like her?"

'Be sure to direct their attention to either a new topic or some other kind of distraction…'

She nodded to herself, Lancer's battle boner for Saber took care of that.

'Then promptly turn about and leave.'

Saber nodded. "Lancer?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to hurt you now."

"Promises!"

They both sunk into battle stances, all but forgetting about her as power and bloodlust emanated from them—

"Bwahahaha!"

"Wha—?"

"Shit!"

Only for the both of them to snap their heads to the side, their bodies starting to turn…

Just as the nice man in the chariot slammed into them both, bowling them over and dragging the pair along, while atop the chariot, the black-haired young boy screamed nonstop.

Iri blinked.

She nodded.

It would seem that it was time to find a better vantage point from which to observe. Yes.

xxx

Watching the mayhem going on down below him in the distance, Kiritsugu gritted his teeth and fought the urge to pull the trigger. Just as he had for the previous minutes.

After all, his bullets, were unlikely to catch any of the Servants off guard, and even if they did, as the purple-haired man demonstrated, they were unlikely to hit. Each spirit no doubt having their own method of dealing with projectiles… aside from sheer speed that is.

Still.

Watching the near death of his wife?

That was almost enough to make him risk it.

"Maiya?" he growled into the microphone instead.

"Negative, Sensei," the woman said and he could almost imagine her giving a minute shake of her head. "Nothing yet, aside from…that"

Gritting his teeth hard enough to almost make his gum bleed, Kiritsugu continued observing. Even if within the privacy of his mind, his thoughts matched the distaste in Maiya's voice

The hell was that idiot doing?

But, at the very least, if nothing else? Iri, it would seem, grasped the chance to get out of immediate danger and—

His pupils dilated.

Fuck! He screamed in his head.

"Maiya?" he hissed, cursing the world within his head for once again dangling what he sought from one arm while with the other holding a piece of his heart, ready to crush it. But, despite the futility of it, this time he choose to pray. Pray that this time it would be different, unlike back then.

Natalia…

xxx

Iri, moving a little faster than perhaps was proper for a lady, rounded a corner, pausing for but an instant and placing a hand on the metallic surface of the container while she took a moment to catch her breath.

"Bwahahaha!"

"Stay still, you bastard!"

"Mongrels!"

"Humu, open again."

The voices of the mad spirits behind her, helped to remind the white-haired woman that discretion was in fact the better part of the valor and she started moving again. Intent on putting as much distance as possible between her and the lunatics behind her.

After all, their gamble had obviously failed.

Both, Kiritsugu's and Saber's, sadly enough.

"Well, hello there~"

Now, on any other occasion, the redhead stepping into view, rubbing a villainous goatee and smirking down at her would have been worrying.

But, in this case…

Irisviel stopped and tilted her head.

"Why are you wearing that?"

The man faltered and a blush of all things spread across his cheeks.

"W-what?"

She nodded, and pointed with a slim finger at him.

"Your attire," she said. "Granted, you do manage to pull it off, but it is somewhat unusual," she continued, and the mortification of the man clad in a revealing maid's getup grew with each word.

"N-now, see here…"

"Oh my! I assure you, I meant no offense, that tiny skirt exposes your toned thighs quite wonderfully and the nipple strips do drew the eye to your pecs but…" Irisviel gasped, eyes widening as sudden realization flashed through her eyes. "Oh my! Do forgive me, I didn't realize that you were one of those…what did Kiri call them, 'Drag Queens'—"

The man's face, that'd continued to grew redder and redder, turned deep purple at that as he had enough.

"Damn it woman!" he growled and closed the distance with a scowl, grasping Iri's hands and pinning her against the container with a 'thud'. "I'm not a draq queen!"

Iri blinked.

"If you say so, but, you really need to get out of here, it's quite dangerous and also, although flattered, I don't wish to buy your services Madam."

There. A polite refusal should do it, right?"

The man growled again and his grip around her wrists tightened, almost painfully so.

"I'm not a hooker," the man hissed. "I'm the Master of Archer," he shouted, a desperate gleam in his eye. "I'm fighting for the grail, as are you, woman!"

Iri's eyes widened.

"Ahh!"

Her cheeks felt warm. A bdsm relationship between master and servant? H-how lewd!

A relieved smile stretched across the man's face.

"Yes," he said with a nod. "Just to be clear?" he said again slowly. "I'm not propositioning you, I'm abducting you."

Iri gasped.

Oh. That changed things!

Kiri's lessons came to mind once again and in an instant the smile vanished from the weird master's face.

"Meep."

With bulging eyes, and as Iri retracted her leg, the man let go of her and dropped to the ground, curling to a fetal position and clutching his jewels.

Nodding in satisfaction, Iri started running again, leaving behind the pervert.

Behind her, in the space between Mr. Hentai and her, one of the containers exploded, causing her step to skip as she glanced behind at thescattering metallic pieces and spewing contents all over as from within the container's guts, Saber and Lancer emerged, invisible blade clashing with red spear with a speed that to her eyes, felt like a hundred times per second, before the pair pierced through another metallic wall vanishing from view again.

Gulping, and as debris covered the groaning form of the exhibitionist, Iri picked up the pace.

Her heart hammered in her ears as her feet worked the pavement.

The sounds of the battle behind her continued to lessen and a relieved sigh escaped unbidden from her lips as at last, she left the rows of containers behind, houses replacing her view.

Now, to find a place to hunker down but one which was low enough that Kiri could continue to watch over her and the battle both while waiting for the battle to conclude—

"Hrk!"

A gasp escaped her throat as a powerful hand closed around her throat. Cutting of airflow and making her squirm in pain.

"Well now, this is an unexpected gift," a baritone voice murmured. "For once you prove useful Assassin."

A neigh imperceptible twitch racked the hand holding her, one that Iri only felt due to its contact with her.

"Glad to be of service, Master," a woman's voice hissed next to her ear as the owner of the limb drew close to Iri, and from the corner of her eye, the dark limb's twin appeared, holding a tiny black knife and drawing close.

xxx

"I have line of sight, Sensei." Maiya's voice and her words made Kiritsugu's heart flutter.

"Take the shot!" he growled, answering the woman's implied question.

Screw the advantage of surprise. It would be of no further use in this particular instance after all, and besides, the assured stranger next to the servant holding his wife? The man was no doubt a Master in this war, so, in a sense their goal of eliminating at least a pair of Master and Servant was about to be achieved.

For a Servant could not exist without a Master anchoring their existence and providing them with energy to sustain themselves and resist the rejecting influence of the world, seeking to correct the 'aberration' in the natural order.

A sharp roar from Maiya's riffle split the night.

xxx

"Now, as for you, my dear…" the stranger stepped into view from her left, and Iri alternated her gaze between the barrel chested priest and the knife poised to end her life. "What should I do with you?"

The hand clutching her throat like a vice, released its grip a tad. Allowing her to take a coughing breath.

"P-perhaps you can let me go?" she asked with a smile and only the barest hint of a whimper, making the man snort.

"Alas, I'm afraid not." He shook his head with a small smirk playing on his lips. "For even though you do not have the scent of a Master nor do I feel the weight of command seals coming from you…" Iri's eyes widened in silent panic.

How does he know?!

The man's grin widened.

"Oh yes, I can tell, you're wondering as to how I know or something along those lines, yes?" he shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I'm afraid I'm not inclined to answer that, but as for you, my dear. Even if you're not an active participant of this war in truth, I have the suspicion that you're close to someone who is."

"Ahaha, no, I have no idea what you mean!" Iri said, shaking her head with a tremulous smile, heart hammering in her chest. "I was just taking a stroll and then got caught up in a fight between servants and… oops?"

The man's smile acquired a mocking sense.

"Quite so. At any rate, Assassin—"

In an instant and with a distant roar, something slammed into the priest causing him to jerk backwards and a growing red stein to appear on his button up shirt as the man stumbled backwards.

"Assassin!" he roared, clutching his side and the hand holding Iri let go, the Servant jumping to her Master's side and just in time, for twin roars split the night again, but this time, proving ineffective, for with movements to fast for the human eye, Iri, rubbing her throat turned and watched as the dark skinned muscular woman batted the bullets aiming for the priest to the side with unhurried, precise motions.

But, the appearance of a small sun blooming in the distance, eliminating and damaging a series of building put an abrupt stop to the salvo of bullets.

"Kiri?"

But no answer came from the wind, and even worse, the brief respite being enough for the wounded priest, whom was even now seeming to stand straighter to dash away from the clearing and underneath the branches of some of the trees of the nearby park.

Iri remained rooted on the spot, for the dark-skinned woman hadn't moved either. Watching her behind that bone-white mask of hers.

"Assassin." The man's pained voice came from a few meters away as he glared at her, almost making her heart jump out of her throat. "Kill—"

Luckily, the sound of a pair of feet landing but a few feet from her, coupled with the power radiating from the newcomer caused the priest to swallow his command.

Iri turned, a hopeful smile on her face. A smile which froze on her lips.

"Yo!" Lancer smirked, butting the shaft of his spear against his shoulder, appearing rather unconcerned about the cuts, small and large all over his uniform as well as a few more serious wounds.

S-saber?

"I don't know who you guys are, but judging by the bodybuilder's attire over there?"

Assassin twitched.

"She's probably Assassin and you're her Master."

"Yes."

Lancer nodded. "Thought so, now, I don't know who Miss Assassin over there is, but."

Red eyes pierced through Iri, stopping her slow backwards step.

"I get the sense that you have nothing good in mind for the little Miss here, and to be frank?" Lancer's smirk dropped about the same time he slid into a combat stance, spear pointing diagonally towards the ground. "I don't like the magic wafting off of you. Plus, I have plans for the lady here which need her alive. So." Lancer's grip on his spear tightened, and he begun lifting his arm…

"Assassin!" in answer to the man's panicked shout, his servant dashed towards him.

The grin returned on Lancer's face and the bloodlust vanished… About the same time as he did and Iri felt a strong arm wrap around her midsection, holding her taut against slabs of muscle.

"Eh?"

"So, I'll be taking her, if you don't mind." Lancer said and winked, and a kick of the man's feet allowed Iri to experience unaided flight.

xxx

Kirei gritted his teeth as the Servant jumped away with a cocky smirk. A vein in his temple throbbed.

"Assassin."

"Yes, my Master?"

A vicious, if petty idea sprung to mind.

"Go forth, and search the area for any Masters. Eliminate them," He growled.

"…as you say, my Master."

Did he detect a tone of reluctance in his tools voice?

Good.

Someone was suffering at least. And Lord willing, if his tool did not prove incompetent he could achieve his original goal of eliminating a Master or two…

Watching the woman dash and vanish with preternatural speed he backed away and rested against a trunk.

"Gkh!"

He winced as he withdrew an arm coated in red, the pain was severe, if lessening. Claudia's gift already hard at work.

In fact, were it not for his own aptitude with reinforcement and her gift? He rather doubted he'd be standing still. Not with the damage the bullet had caused as it parked inside him.

Clink!

Speaking off, with quick movements he caught the little slab of steel as his body pushed it out.

He rather wanted to punch something or someone.

For the shooters. Or at the very least one of them. Were still out there.

And so, he couldn't show his head. Not yet, not without assassin by his side at any rate.

His mouth opened and closed.

I could have ordered her to leave behind one of her bodies, couldn't have…

The rational part of his mind knew that he should order her to come back and do just that, his pride on the other hand demanded that he say nothing, and so, he continued to stew in pain and shame.

xxx

Some minutes prior…

Low reverberating growl ripping out of his throat, Saber's fingers pierced through the concrete underneath, cracking it as he propelled himself upwards, the strength of his push enough to send him into a spin which, coupled with a harsh flap of his wings proved enough for him to land into a standing position once more, sword clutched in taloned hand.

One eye on the purple-haired brat the other on the menace on two wheels.

"You know, pops," Lancer begun, drawing his focus as well as a growl. "It might just be my idea, but I get the sense you're still holding out on us. And that doesn't feel fair. Do you agree oh King of Conquerors?"

"Bwahahaha! Very much so, let us fight valiantly and true!"

"R-rider! How about we perhaps don't do that?"

"Quiet, young man."

Abzu's fist clenched around sword pommel and empty air both, eliciting creaks of protest from his gauntlet's metal while his sword offered nary a protest.

"Quiet the both of you," he said in a hiss that came out as a growl, wrestling with three sets of instincts, two of them dragonic, all of them demanding retribution. "To you, Lugh, I promised payback," he said with another hiss while pointing his sword at a surprised Lancer.

"Oi! I'm not really my pops you know—"

"And you son of the thunderer," Abzu spat, his vision a red haze as he ignored the miffed Lancer. "Cease with your irritating meddling or I'll extract the vengeance earned by your father on you."

Rider blinked. "Oho?" he said, an excited smirk spreading on his cheeks, ignoring the warning and the aura of danger entirely. His hands gripped the reins of his Chariot tighter in preparation. "That sounds fun!"

"No it doesn't! It very much doesn't—mff! Mff!"

Amidst Rider's boisterous laugh, Abzu's eyes narrowed and his limbs shook while his fury mounted. And as a continuous low growl left his lips, the muscles all over his body continued growing and the scales covering the edges of his limbs and parts of his face continued spreading.

Impudent whelps! Children of traitors! You will all—

But, just before Abzu broke under the weight of his rage, a golden explosion, mixed with the sounds of breaking metal came to be some meters behind Iskander… right before a small humanoid cannonball with a mop of blonde atop its head barreled straight towards Iskander.

"Not again—" the man said with a groan, as he just about managed to shield his young charge, before Mhxa slammed into, and bowled over the chariot. Pushing into yet another container…before once again exploding outwards with a furious expression, piercing through the air like an arrow, lightsaber at hand and towards the smirking King.

This momentary break being enough for Abzu to regain control enough over his faculties.

"Well, sucks to be him," Lancer said, shaking his shoulders.

Saber did not reply. Narrowing his eyes he sheathed his sword across his back.

But Lancer took exception to that.

"Oi! Pops! Don't you go blue balling me now!" he said, pointing his spear, tip first at Saber. "We had a good thing going, don't you dare—"

A low cackle promising only pain left Saber's lips as he sunk into a combat stance, arms raised, talons aimed at Lancer's torso, making the man whistle.

"Now, I don't know whether I should be offended that you want to fight me unarmed or honored that the primordial pops wants to—"

"Afraid."

"What?"

"You should feel afraid," Saber growled and exploded forward with a roar.

Lancer, red eyes flying wide, a muttered curse on his lips, about managed to bring his spear forth, and intercept the first series of blows.

"Gkha!"

Not that it did the whelp much good, for with a pained grunt, the no doubt unexpected strength behind his blow, caused Lancer to fly backwards…

And Abzu to follow with a smirk and a flap of his wings, left arm cocked and primed to skewer the brat.

"You bastard…" But Lancer was far from defenseless pray, with a snarl and a quick pull of his arm, the muscles bulged and the red thorn glowed scarlet once again. "Gae—"

Abzu's smirk dropped and his eyes widened. He might have miscalculated.

"Bolg!" with a roar, the spandex wearing man slammed his arm forward, the spear flying true at the same time as the man flipped through the air with a burst of mana, causing his legs rather than his back to touch the metal sheet behind him as he exploded forward, trailing after his spear.

With a hurried pull, Abzu once again called upon the waters and also slammed his fist forward aiming at the incoming spear.

Yet another small explosion rocked the world.

Saber jumped backwards and out of the dissipating smoke and superheated steam.

"Not as easy as you though, eh?"

Landing with a pained flap of his remaining mangled wing, Abzu scowled as Lancer, looking no worse for wear yanked his spear free of the ground followed by the man stepping on the mangled remains of Saber's hand, a taunting chuckle ripping free out of him.

Saber's scowl abruptly vanished. "I'll admit, you do have some skill," he said, and watched as his words and tone caused Lancer's guard to spring back up. "And perhaps, I did underestimate you a bit, but…I know something you don't~" grinning, Saber raised his ruined elbow and flapped the remains of his wing.

And as he did, a monstrous amount of mana saturated the air, followed by streams of water, both conjured and summoned from the nearby sea springing towards Saber. Surrounding and sinking into him, and as they did, his wings and arm appeared once more.

"Bastard…" Lancer growled, stepping of the gauntleted remains.

"Jealous?" Saber taunted, clenching, flexing and examining his arm and limbs as he did. An arrogant smirk on his face.

And yet, on the inside it was another matter… I can't lose control of myself again, this stunt used up a good chunk of my reserves! But, at the very least, Lancer's trick did help in allowing Saber to reign in his instincts, for the most part.

"The Father of the Babylonian gods," Lancer murmured, tone musing, the shaft of his spear tapping against his shoulder. "Husband of Tiamat, and whereas she's the Lord of everything salt water, you're the lord of fresh water…"

Saber arched an eyebrow. "You're quite knowledgeable."

Lancer's answer came in the form of an irritated groan, and, letting his guard drop some, he pinched his nose with his free hand "You can thank Teach for that. In her words, 'no student of mine will have hay in place of brains' but, that aside…" Abzu watched as Lancer leveled a stare at him. "This is the worst place to fight you, isn't it?"

A rueful grin spread across Abzu's face. "Almost, yeah," he said. "But the sea, as you say, belongs to my wife and less so me, so, it's not as bad as it could be for you," he allowed. Sharing this much in an attempt to distract Lancer and ensure he didn't notice just how much this move taxed him.

"Well, as the youth say these days, I call hax," Lancer said, followed by his brows furrowing as he parsed through the words implanted to him, courtesy of the grail. "The hell, is 'hax'?"

Saber snorted, for it would seem that for once tonight? His gambit had worked.

"Wololo!"

The sound of spinning wheels accompanying the wrath filled shout made his eyes widen and start drawing his sword and turn to the side just as Lancer did. In time to…

"Huh, well I guess that was one time too many apparently."

In time to catch sight of Rider's mighty back flex as the man worked the whips… Followed by his chariot slamming right into a surprised Mhxa.

"Bwahaha! Well done King of Conquerors!" Gil said, mirth evident. "Keep it up and you might earn the King's—Oi, oi!"

Sadly for the self-proclaimed King of Kings, Rider it would seem, harbored no intentions of stopping. And proceeded to ram his vehicle and Mhxa both, straight into the pole atop which Gilgamesh had been balancing but an instant prior.

"Meep!" causing the woman's eyes to fly wide as she tried and failed to fly through the air by flapping her arms in panic while below her, Rider banked his chariot, performing a sharp turn, swinging around to face the falling Gil and consequently, also at last, flinging Mhxa away from the prow of his chariot.

Across from Saber, Lancer winced, and within his mind? Abzu did too.

"Pops?" the man asked, licking his lips and for once Saber did not mind the moniker.

"Yeah?" he asked, eyes still transfixed to the trainwreck taking place some meters away, as a pair of glowering blondes rose to their feet, their auras screaming murder.

"I'm all for a free for all, but this venue is a bit too stifling for a bout of honorable combat, don't you agree?"

Saber nodded. "Oh, very much so. A change of scenery sounds grand."

"Mongrel! You dare run over your King?"

"Bwahaha! Technically I didn't and also, you're not my King, Gilgamesh."

As Gilgamesh growl reached their ears, Lancer's explosive thrust forward, spear aimed towards Saber's heart came as something of a relief. And so, Abzu opted to yield ground and not resist, merely blocking the spear with his sword but letting the force push him backwards, and away from the rest of the circus.

xxx

"Lancer?"

"A little busy here, Master, what is it?"

"Merely a question, you're certain as to the identity of the Servant you're facing?"

Eyes trailing his opponents wings, talons, and half dragonic visage. Lancer fought back a sarcastic reply as he did his best, trying to skewer the primordial god.

"Yes, I'm sure, what of it?"

His Master's chuckle over their connection made him arch an eyebrow.

"Then I have an idea as to how to deal with him."

Lancer grimaced, for the plan, regardless of his opinion of it, was in fact sound.

And besides, aside from his desire to satisfy his urges for a good fight, he was here first and foremost to help his Master achieve his goals…

xxx

Half a minute prior

"Sensei…"

"I know, Maiya," Kiritsugu said, scowl fixed on his face as his riffle roared nonstop, firing bullet after bullet towards the superhuman spirit.

The dark-skined beauty deflecting each of his bullets with an almost insulting ease just as she did Maiya's own unrelenting salvo.

"Keep firing," he ordered. "The longer we keep them busy…"

"Saber."

"Master?"

"I need you to go and help Iri, she's in a bit of a pinch."

"Gnkh! So am I, Master, but I'll see what I can—"

At that moment, an almost disgusting amount of mana filled the air, making Kiritsugu's eyes widen. For according to his senses it came from the, now unmonitored, central docks area, where—

Heart hammering, and trusting on the fact that so far, the purple-haired woman did not display any further jumps in speed, he reached for his family's magic crest, implanted within him while also activating his reinforcement.

"Deca accel." The aria slipped past his lips at the same time as the scabbard implanted within him begun to burn with a cool radiance in contrast to the torturous inferno spreading across the rest of his body.

Still, unless shit hit the fan, such brief an instant would be fine.

It had been Saber's idea, that given the fact the Scabbard was unusualy active and effective, why not push past his limits and utilize an even higher 'boost', and counteract it by using it in even shorter bursts and moving only the required muscles.

In this case…

Taking advantage of the now all but frozen time, and moving only the muscles necessary to shift his riffle and upper torso some, Kiritsugu looked at the battlefield.

For down below, moving fast even through what was an otherwise almost frozen world. Gilgamesh, fangs bared, held a magnificent bow, arrow notched and aimed at the wide-eyed sith. The girl hastening to set her sword by her side in something akin to a batting stance while cool light started to blaze from it.

As for the man atop the chariot… Well, Kiritsugu felt his respect for the stranger rise. For the man, wide eyed and placing his charge in front of him, seemed to be hightailing out of there.

Golden circles formed in front of the bow. The arrow flew, and the waif of a girl moved. Moving her neck fast enough to produce a shock-wave as she avoided the arrow.

Kiritsugu, mid heartbeat, eyelids starting their downward blink in confusion and brows moving upwards felt a confusion well within him.

His chest burned.

That's it—

But then, he noticed it. The pressure coming from above.

Neck whipping upwards fast enough to give him whiplash, his mouth flew open unbidden while in the back of his mind, a primordial part quivered madly.

His blood boiled.

For up above. Near what could only be the edge of space, a set of massive spears flowed into one another, forming the true golden arrow.

Which promptly fell.

With the certainty that they were all of them dead, Kiritsugu, nonetheless, followed its path.

The Golden King's shoulders shaking in mirth.

The tiny waif of a girl standing firm.

"Cross.." A soft, determined voice, reached him from somewhere, the scabbard within him seeming to burn brighter easing his pain and cooling his blood. "CALIBUR!"

The roar ended and an arching corona of power flew from the girl's swing, the edges of which slammed into the wide eyed Golden king.

But with the core flying true, flying upwards.

Meeting the spear almost head on. And for an instant the world held its breath. The spear determined to continue downwards… But then cracks appeared across the spear, and the girl's attack won.

Blowing the crackling spear to the side, and in the process eradicating most of the magical nuke's energy.

…But not all.

For mere fragments remained. Fragments. And yet strong enough to…

Kiritsugu's heart froze and he followed the path of the remaining energy as it—

"Maiya!" he roared, watching as a series of buildings turned into rubble. "Gkh!" right as his body let go of the crest's trigger without his input. Deactivating the crest and the agony slamming into him enough to make his vision turn white, his ears pop and ring and for his heart to pop as he felt several somethings snap in his skull and down the spine.

The Scabbard down its frantic best to keep him alive.

For not only had he pushed beyond reasonable limits, he'd kept it active way beyond what he should have. And yet…

Iri!

Ignoring the screaming part of his mind with practiced ease, and grinding his teeth together hard enough for his gums to bleed into his already full mouth, Kiritsugu, spitting, battled against screaming muscles and ruined bones to move the sight of his scope back towards his wife's location just as vision returned to one of his eyes…

Just in time to catch a glimpse of Lancer jumping away with his wife in hands. The lancer who'd moments prior been fighting with his servant.

Kiritsugu felt the world grumbling around him.

"Saber!"

---

Before you ask, yes, the work is complete and I'll upload a piece of it each day.

With that out of the way, I'll hope you enjoy the rest of it, oh, and to premptively answer any idiots, yes, this could've been even better if I could bother to go through it again and add a few more descriptions, fix a sentence here and there etc. But, in all honesty? It's serviceable as is and the mere idea of having to go through the whole thing again, line by line?

Yeah, no, so apologies to anyone that catches small errors here and there.

I did intend to go through it again and polish it, its the truth! But...I'd have to let it sit in scrivener/as an omake of the main story for another month or two until I could stomach reading through it once more.

Hell, I might do that in the future and upload the 'improved' chapters, but its unlikely and no promises.

Anyway, a small thing I was quite proud off even if I did not make it quite clear enough in this draft and is ultimately unimportant. The Gold Cloth that Saber is clad in is supposed to look like one out of Saint Seiya.

And before you ask, yes, the 'wololo' is in fact out of Age of Empires 2, I needed a way to show that Rider was pissed/focused, and so, another battle cry was the answer, and so, what better than that :P

Ahh, and this here marks the ends of the 'good days' when I was writing this, back when I thought I could be done with this 'omake' in only 15, or dare I even say it 30k words at most!
...what a naive fool I was.

That's all, see you tomorrow for the next chapter!