BPOV
"Edward?" I said when he was about to leave, "Can I ask you something?"
I mean, I realized I was behaving very childishly, and I had to talk to him, but... I was not going to like what he said!
"Yes," he said.
"Do you think what happened between us... ummm... it shouldn't have happened? Do you regret it?" I asked.
I was crossing all limits of stupidity now!
I wasn't sure why I asked that. What was the point of it? Of course, I knew what his answer was going to be!
"Yes," he said.
I mean, what else was I expecting?
Of course, it was wrong!
His wife was dying, and he cheated on her!
Why would I even ask such a question? I was mad at myself!
"Same here," I said.
He just nodded in response.
"Alright then?" he said after some time, "See you tomorrow in the office."
"Yeah," I said.
I didn't know how I was going to face him in the office everyday!
The next week turned out to be probably one of the worst weeks of my life.
We cancelled any One-on-one meeting we had, instead we talked through the emails.
We avoided eye-contact when the group meetings were absolutely necessary.
'Time' was supposed to make this easier, but it was getting difficult with each passing day.
I wondered how long I could go on like this?
Maybe I should start looking for another job!
The one thing I wasn't expecting was him ringing my doorbell on next Friday evening!
"I can't go on like this!" he said.
And what did that mean?
"You asked me if I regretted what happened between us," he said, "And I said I did."
Yes, but I didn't want to hear that again!
"Yes, I regretted it," he said, "Because it shouldn't have happened like that... It should have happened the right way!"
"What does that mean?" I asked. He was confusing me like hell right now!
"Bella..." he sighed, "There were times I wanted to ask you out."
Ummm... what?
Like... what?
"But I didn't," he said, "Because I was scared that I'd somehow mess it up, and I thought you deserved better. I was too scared to take a risk with you."
I didn't think I was able to process anything he was saying!
What the fuck was he talking about!
"And now look at me! I've messed up in the worst possible way!" he said with frustration.
"I have no idea whatever the fuck you're talking about," I said.
"Tanya and I were supposed to get divorced..." he continued, "If I had asked you after getting the divorce... Or actually, if I hadn't got married to her at all and if I had asked you out before that, everything might have been just... perfect! But now it's nothing but a mess!" He buried his head in his hands.
My head was spinning.
What the hell was he talking about?
"What do you mean Tanya and you were supposed to get divorced? Why did you marry her?" I asked.
My head was spinning.
What did he mean they were supposed to get divorced within six months of getting married?
And they looked like a happy couple to me!
He didn't say anything.
"I mean, only if you want to share..." I said.
"You're going to judge me," he said.
Huh! That bad, eh?
"Let me decide that," I said.
"Alright then," he said, "You're not going to like me after this! This is like going on a suicide mission, but here you go..."
I was really, really curious now.
"You know Tanya's father invested a huge chunk in my company," he said.
"Hmmm..." I said.
"Well, he had one condition - I had to marry his daughter."
I stared at him with disbelief.
"I seriously needed that fund," he said, "Tanya seemed like a changed person. She was much better than how she was back in High school. She said she didn't have much expectations from the marriage. She just wanted to marry me because of some stupid high school bet or something..."
I gasped and looked at him with disbelief.
"She was like, you can have as much freedom as you want... I just want to marry you... And I thought, how worse it can get!" He shrugged his shoulders.
I was still staring at him.
There was no fucking way he was being serious about this!
"But soon after getting married, I realized it was the worst fucking mistake of my life!" he said, "I realized I could live with a business failure, but there was no way I could live with her! She was the same old Tanya! Whatever she had shown before the wedding was just a facade!"
"Everyday was a fucking hell," he continued, "I had decided I couldn't go on like that!"
Suddenly I remembered how frustrated he used to sound just before Tanya's accident. He was venting out his frustration on everyone.
"So I wanted to get rid of her!" He said, "I wanted to get divorced... She wasn't agreeing, but I'd have managed! But now... I'm just... depressed and... stuck!" he sighed.