Her eyes fixed on the scene in front of her, Lily swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Why are you treating Scott like a guest?"

Lily's eyes flew to Serena's. "What do you mean?"

Serena nodded toward Rufus and Scott, who were practicing some chords together in the living room. "Ever since Scott got here, it seems like Rufus has been spending every second he can with him. But the only times I've seen you even remotely alone with Scott, you've just been asking him things like if his bed is comfortable or if he wants Larissa to pick up anything special for him to eat."

Lily's body tensed. "Is it wrong of me to want to make sure he's comfortable here?"

"No, of course not," Serena replied, her face softening. "But he's not going to live here forever—and I don't want you to miss out on this time with him just because you're scared."

Her heartbeat accelerating, Lily began to sort through the pile of mail in front of her. "Who says I'm scared?"

Serena raised her brows. "Come on, Mom. I've heard you have more personal conversations with Vanya."

"Well, Vanya has worked here for a really long time—"

"And you've known Scott since before he was born," Serena said.

Lily's heart and throat constricted. "Yes, until the moment I had to hand him over to the nurse."

Serena's face fell. "That must have been awful."

A weight settling over her, Lily put down the mail. "It was."

Serena's voice thickened. "When I think about what I'd feel like if I ever got separated from Emma like that . . ."

An ache bloomed in Lily's chest. Her gaze drifting to Scott, her voice hitched in her throat. "It makes you feel like someone is ripping your heart right out?"

Nodding, Serena followed her gaze. "And now you're getting a second chance. . . ."

Curling her fingers back around the mail, Lily closed her eyes. "I'm aware of that."

Serena covered her mother's hand with her own. "I know you're scared—but do you really want to miss out on this chance? Miss out on the chance to know him?"

"So I take it the last few weeks have been difficult for you?" Dr. Coleman asked.

Lily massaged her temples. "More like excruciating."

"It must be hard watching Rufus bonding so easily with your son when you're struggling to do that yourself," Dr. Coleman said.

Lily's face fell. "It is. I'm thrilled that they're getting this time with each other—but I feel so guilty that I prevented them from having this relationship for such a long time."

"Have you talked to either one of them about this?" Dr. Coleman asked.

"I've talked to Rufus about it a little bit." Her heart lodging in her throat, Lily averted her eyes. "But, with Scott—I don't know that I can."

"Why is that?" Dr. Coleman inquired.

Lily's stomach dropped.

"Lily?" Dr. Coleman prodded.

Lily blinked. "I don't know," she said, her eyes brimming with tears. "I think part of me is afraid he'll hate me."

"What makes you think that?" Dr. Coleman asked.

"Why wouldn't he?" Lily's voice caught in her throat. "For the first twenty years of his life, I kept him from knowing a father he clearly loves."

"From what you've told me, you've had some really hard conversations with Serena and Eric," Dr. Coleman said, "—and yet, you've managed to improve your relationships with them."

"Yes, but, with them, it's different." A tear slipping down her cheek, Lily looked back at Dr. Coleman. "I'm the only mother they've ever known—it's hard to walk away from that."

"What were things like for you when you tried to distance yourself from your own mother?" Dr. Coleman asked.

Lily laughed. "Like she would have ever let that really happen." Rolling her eyes, she wiped the moisture from her face. "I tried to talk to her about our relationship a million times, but she never heard a word I said."

"That must have been really difficult for you," Dr. Coleman observed.

"It was." Lily cleared her throat. "I know I'm far from a perfect parent myself, but I at least try to hear my children out when they're upset with me."

Dr. Coleman nodded and took a note. "And how do your children react when you do that for them?"

Lily froze. "I see where you're going with this. And—yes—it has helped."

"So why wouldn't it help with Scott?" Dr. Coleman asked.

"I . . . I don't know." Burying her head in her hands, Lily inhaled. "I just wish this wasn't all so hard."

"I know," Dr. Coleman said. "But, sometimes, the best way forward is through."

Lily's throat tightened. "Even if that means risking losing any chance you ever had at having a relationship with your child?"

"What will happen if you don't have this conversation with Scott?" Dr. Coleman asked.

Lily's eyes flew up. "I guess things will stay the same as they are now."

Dr. Coleman put down her notepad and pen. "And how do you feel right now?"

Lily's heart sank. "Miserable."

Dr. Coleman considered this for a moment. "If one of your children came to you with a similar issue, what would you suggest they do?"

Lily shifted her eyes. "That they should do whatever it takes to have a relationship with their child." Looking back at Dr. Coleman, she arched one brow and swallowed. "That's what you think I should do, isn't it?"

Dr. Coleman tilted her head. "What do you think?"

Closing her eyes, Lily pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath in. "I think I might need to book some extra sessions with you."

"How did it go today with Dr. Coleman?" Wandering into the bedroom, Rufus slipped off his robe and slippers.

Taking off her glasses, Lily put down the book she was reading. "It went okay."

Rufus studied her. "Then why do you look like something is wrong?"

Lily's face tensed.

"Lil?" Crossing the room, Rufus knelt down next to the bed and squeezed her arm. "Lil—talk to me."

Lily looked at him. "This is all just so hard. Seeing you with Scott, knowing I prevented you both from having that connection for so long, wondering if I'll ever have something like that with him . . ."

Rufus tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "What did Dr. Coleman say?"

"That I should talk to Scott about the choices I made after I found out I was pregnant with him." Lily's voice scratched. "That I should let him have whatever feelings he's going to have."

"That sounds like a good idea to me." Rufus searched her eyes. "I know it will be hard, but if you don't face it—"

"I'll never fix it?" Lily jumped in. "Yes," she said, blinking back tears, "that's what I've been told."

"Lily . . ."

Lily turned onto her side.

Rufus squeezed her shoulder. Rising to his feet, he made his way over to his side of the bed, settled in next to her, and pulled her into his arms.

Lily burrowed into his embrace.

Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Rufus tightened his arms around her. "No matter what happens, we're still his parents—I think that matters more than you think it does."

"Says the parent he has no reason to be upset with." A tear slipped down Lily's cheek. "What if—after I talk with him—he wants nothing to do with me? What if that ruins your relationship with him? Or our relationship, for that matter?"

"Lil." Rufus lifted her chin. "I'm not going anywhere. And no matter what happens, I'll find a way to navigate my relationship with Scott."

"But what if—"

"No 'what ifs.'" Rufus stopped her mid-thought. "My relationship with you, my relationship with him—they're not negotiable."

Lily's face creased. "How can you be so confident that he'll still want to have a relationship with you if he decides he wants nothing to do with me?"

Rufus cupped her face. "Because he's our son. We love him. And I'll make sure he knows that."

Lily frowned, her voice straining. "You make it sound so easy."

Rufus stroked her cheek. "I still believe love can fix things. The most important thing here is that Scott knows we love him no matter what. That, even if he has a hard time processing what happened, that won't change. And that—no matter what happens—we'll always be here for him."

"You can't sleep either?"

Lily's eyes jerked up.

Scott blushed. "Sorry—I didn't mean to interrupt you. I just came out to get some water—I'll get it and get out of your way."

Lily's heartbeat accelerated. "You're not in my way."

Scott's gaze fell to the camera in her lap.

"I . . . I was just trying out a new lens." Lily put the camera aside.

Scott glanced at the lamp next to her. "Do you want me to turn on some more lights for you?"

"No," Lily laughed. "I know taking pictures in such a dark room might seem absurd, but it's mostly about adjusting the aperture and the shutter speed."

"I don't know the first thing about that," Scott laughed, "but you sound like you know what you're talking about."

"Yes, well, once upon a time, I used to spend every free moment I had behind a lens." Lily smiled. "I could get lost in it for hours at a time."

"Sounds like you really loved it." Scott rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd love to see some of your photographs when you have time."

"I'd like that." Happiness diffused through Lily's chest. "I'd have to dig them out of storage, but I think I still have some pictures from when Rufus and his band were on tour if you'd like to see them."

"I would." Scott smiled. "Rufus showed me some from the last tour you did with him, but he didn't have that many."

Lily's back straightened. "The last tour . . ."

Scott's brow creased. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No." Lily's eyes darted to his. "Not at all."

Scott's face relaxed.

Lily's heart began to race. "I'm sorry, Scott. I don't want you to feel like you have to be careful about what you say around me. It's just that, during the last portion of that tour . . ."

Scott's eyes remained fixed on hers.

This was it.

A chance to forge a way through this.

A chance to start building a real relationship with her firstborn son—no matter how difficult or terrifying the start to that might be.

Lily swallowed. Intertwining her fingers, she took a deep breath in. "Even though I didn't realize it until later, during the last portion of that tour—you were there with us, too."

Realization dawned in Scott's eyes. "Oh."

Lily hung her head. "I . . . I'm sorry. I probably should have already talked to you more about this."

"Rufus told me that you have a hard time talking about that time in your life," Scott said.

"I do." Lily's eyes flew up. "But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't."

Scott's eyes widened.

"Here." Her heart lodging in her throat, Lily patted the spot next to her on the couch. "Sit. If you want to talk about this, that is—"

"I do." Shifting his weight between his feet, Scott paused for a moment and then sat down beside her.

Lily's heart began to pound. "I . . . I don't even know where to begin."

Folding his hands in his lap, Scott swallowed.

Her eyes drifting to the fireplace, Lily took another deep breath in.

She could do this.

She had to do this.

If she was ever going to have a real relationship with her son—she had to be honest with him.

Beside her, Scott shifted in his seat.

Lily's eyes flew back to his. "I never told Rufus about you. I let you be adopted without even telling him you existed. And I'm sorry—I know this probably isn't the best way to tell you that, but there's really no easy way to say it, and—"

"I know," Scott jumped in.

Lily's heart stopped. "You do?"

His gaze falling, Scott nodded. "When I first went back to Boston, my parents told me everything they knew—including the fact that Rufus had only found out about me recently."

Tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, Lily swallowed a lump in her throat. "How are you not furious with me?"

Scott bit down on his lip.

"It . . . it's okay if you are." Lily's heart thudded. "If I were you . . . I would be, too. . . ."

Scott looked up. "I was."

Lily's breath caught in her chest. "Whatever you're feeling, I understand—"

"I'm not angry anymore," Scott said. "I was for a little while, but then my mother pointed out to me that I didn't know the whole story—and that not having Rufus with you through all of it must have been really difficult and painful for you."

Lily blinked back her tears. "It was," she whispered, her chest welling with emotion. "And your mother is a very wise woman."

Scott's eyes fell to his lap. "She is."

A tear slipping down her face, Lily's voice caught in her throat. "Handing you over to the nurse—it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. But my mother was threatening to disown me if I kept you—or went back to Rufus, for that matter. And I didn't know how I was going to take care of myself on my own, never mind take care of you."

Scott nodded.

"It was never that I didn't love you, Scott." Fresh tears welling in her eyes, Lily's voice strained. "Or that I didn't want you in my life."

"I know," Scott said. "I mean, I didn't always think that, but I do know that now."

"Well, I didn't really help matters the first time we re-met, did I?" Lily wiped the tears from her face.

"Not really," Scott laughed.

Lily's heart dropped. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Scott said. "I realize I interrupted a pretty intense conversation."

"That doesn't excuse the way I acted." Her gaze drifting to the ceiling, Lily blinked a few times and blew out some air. "I know I can't change the past," she said, her heart beginning to race again as she forced her eyes back to his, "—but I'd love it if you and I could have some sort of relationship moving forward."

Scott smiled. "I'd like that."

A glimmer of hope bloomed in Lily's chest. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she inhaled. "I was planning to try out this lens at the park tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?"

"That would be great," Scott said.

Lily's heart soared.

His smile growing, Scott blushed.

Studying him for a moment, Lily inched her arms up. "Would it be okay if I . . . ?"

Scott nodded.

A lump swelling in her throat, Lily scooted in closer to him. Wrapping him up in an embrace, she pressed a kiss to the crook of his shoulder and tightened her arms around him.