"Maybe if you tried talking to her, you could find out for yourself. Ever think of that?"
His words had been impudent but Sesshōmaru finally determined that Inuyasha was right. He would speak to Rin about ordinary topics pertaining to her life in the village, and he would be able to see for himself that she was indeed well, and in good health.
He would also determine just what that young human male meant to her.
To his great consternation, instead of Rin, old Kaede came to meet him.
He watched her slow progress with a growing sense of unease. She halted several paces away from him and drilled him with her one beady eye. Sesshōmaru resigned himself to the encounter. This woman had diligently cared for and educated Rin as she had become accustomed to village life. Perhaps he would gain useful information from her.
"Lord Sesshōmaru, may I speak freely?"
He made no reply, as it appeared she would would do as she pleased regardless of his assent or denial.
"As you are fully aware, Rin is of marriageable age. As long as she anticipates your next visit, no worthy young man stands a chance of winning her hand."
Sesshōmaru still said nothing. The priestess huffed impatiently.
"There is a fine and honorable young man from a prosperous family who wishes to marry her, as I am sure you must also be aware!"
His stomach clenched with dread. Of course the young man wished to marry her. It went without saying. Wondering what had passed between Rin and that boy had been all he could think about in recent days. His next words tasted like ash in his mouth. "Rin is free to choose that human for her husband if she so desires."
"She has turned him down!"
Again, he remained silent, though the relief that coursed through him at Kaede's declaration was powerful.
The priestess sighed.
"My lord, since Naraku's downfall, our village has enjoyed unrivaled peace. The reason for this is most certainly Inuyasha's able protection. I believe it is also because you are frequently close by, watching over Rin, scaring away any evildoer with a hungry eye to our modest dwellings. However, I must beseech you, for Rin's sake, please speak plainly with her so she can learn to accept her rightful place in the world!"
His heart began to beat faster. "Truly I intend to speak with her, as this was my design in coming here." He looked at her disdainfully. "But I will honor her wishes, whatever they may be."
"She cannot know what she wishes!" Kaede replied sharply. They stared each other down for a long moment. The priestess's subsequent tirade was all he could have hoped for.
"Lord Sesshōmaru, you are the sun and moon in her sky, and continue to be as long as you maintain a presence in her life! She is no longer simply a child struck with simple hero worship. She is no longer satisfied with gifts of trifles and kimono and an hour in your illustrious presence whenever the fancy strikes you. Your sudden reappearance after so many month's absence has no doubt confused her! Rekindled her hope!"
She glared witheringly at him. But she was not finished.
"She has rejected the suit of an eligible young man who could provide amply for her. Do you know why? She pines for you, Lord Sesshōmaru, and clings to a hope that you will take her away from here, back to a life wandering with you! Who can disabuse her of this ridiculous notion, if not you, my lord? It was right and honorable for you to leave her with me after Naraku's downfall. I had hoped her insistence to live out her days with you would fade with maturity. But the passage of time has only strengthened her resolve to rejoin you!"
Sesshōmaru regarded the old lady with mild contempt, but by the time her harangue lost steam, his heart was pounding wildly. What could it mean that Rin pined for him?
The old priestess appeared to visibly sag as she looked up at him in entreaty.
"The others never give away to Rin when they sense you are nearby. Nor do I. For my part, out of deference to your lordship, I assume that if you wished for Rin to know your doings, you would tell her yourself. I do not pretend to know your reasons for hiding yourself from her for so many months, but you are here now and I beg of you to speak plainly with her. I know you have her best interests at heart."
"I dislike repeating myself, priestess. I will honor her wishes, and her wishes alone." He glared at her. "As should you."
The tough old lady did not flinch away from his cold rebuke. She just stood there with her hands clasped behind her back, shaking her head.
Who, if not Kaede with whom Rin spent the most time, would know best the girl's state of mind on a daily basis? Rin was resolved to rejoin him? She clung to hope that he would take her away? The old priestess's impassioned speech answered many questions, but posed even more in their place. Could Rin's devotion to him be merely the fancies of a child yearning for her old life of adventure? Of having no one to tell her what to do or how to live her life? For he certainly had allowed her freedom in every respect. Or could it be more? Could she want him as a woman wants a man?
Therein lay the difficulty. Sesshōmaru was certainly no man
She had rejected the addresses of a suitable human male. And by Kaede's reckoning, he was the best of all the males in the village. So how in the deepest hell could Sesshōmaru succeed in winning her where one of her own kind had failed? He had no knowledge of human courting customs. Unbidden, memories of his gregarious and sociable father came to mind. The old dog general had possessed charm in spades, a characteristic he'd not passed on to Sesshōmaru.
He needed to think! But more importantly, he needed more information. An unwelcome idea occurred to him. In defiance of all reason and logic, Inuyasha had managed to secure the affections and loyalty of a worthy human woman. Not only that, the whelp had even convinced her to bind herself to him in the human custom of marriage. Sesshōmaru realized that his half brother would most likely possess the answers he sought, much as it galled him to admit it.
"If that is all you have to say, I can only hope you will do what is right for Rin, Lord Sesshōmaru." Kaede's raspy voice interrupted his internal turmoil, her minatory stare becoming even more fearless, if such a thing were possible. Without another word, she turned and made her way back to the village.
After Inuyasha left, Rin's mind was a tumult of terror and resolve. She would tell Lord Sesshōmaru her heart, even if it made her a fool. The thought of Granny Kaede and Lord Sesshōmaru casually discussing her fate, while she sat alone in this hut chopping radishes filled her with indignation.
Fresh tears threatened as panic seized her. What if he left after speaking with Granny Kaede? What if he changed his mind about seeing her?
No. He would not do that, no matter what Granny Kaede said. She grit her teeth as she stirred the soup, doing everything she could not to jump out of her skin from frustration.
When the old woman returned, they exchanged a long look. Rin thought she looked more tired than usual and she felt a prick of conscience for all the worry she must be causing her guardian. No matter what, Rin knew that this woman loved her as a granddaughter, and she hated that they were at odds.
"Granny Kaede, please sit. The soup is almost ready."
The priestess gave her a wan smile and patted her cheek. "Thank you, child. Why don't you run along? Lord Sesshōmaru is waiting."
She bowed to the old priestess, hastily tidied her appearance and set off for the well.
Rin was finally going to see him, after all this time, and she still could not get her emotions under control. But no matter what, she was determined to open up and tell him how she felt.
The question was, how was she supposed to even bring it up? Her stomach erupted in butterflies and she tried to calm her breathing.
She knew he would inquire about how she spent her time. Safe topics that she nearly had memorized. What had she learned? Did she require more silk or kimono? Did the other humans in the village treat her well? Had she been practicing her brush strokes? His undivided attention could be overwhelming, and she did not want to forget her purpose, or the resentment that had grown in her heart.
When she was younger, she had assumed she were but a duty he had imposed upon himself, that he was determined to see through to the end of her life. As she grew older, she had come to understand that his continued visits to the village showed that he cared about her well-being, and may even be fond of her on some level.
As had happened more and more as she got older, her thoughts would stray to the enigmatic demon lord at inopportune times. Without warning she would flush hot when her imaginings would take a decidedly…sensual turn. Soon she was fantasizing about Lord Sesshōmaru embracing her, kissing her…touching her. She dreamed that he found her a beautiful woman, and not just a child he indulged.
Granny Kaede often scolded her for daydreaming but honestly, she could no more help it than she could stop the erotic dreams that were filled with him while she slept.
Last visit, she had caught him staring at her with such focused attention that it left her breathless. He had started to say something to her but had stopped himself. Lord Sesshōmaru was never unsure of himself and he certainly never misspoke! She was almost sure he had been blushing!
He departed soon after without a word. Those few seconds of confusion, his unaccountably nervous expression, so unlike him, had left her flush with hope that perhaps he were not completely unaffected by her. And then…nothing. For months on end! Not even Master Jaken had checked on her!
She was angry with him for forgetting her. But she also longed for him almost continuously.
Rin's practical side insisted she was indeed a fool. She must be delusional to hope Lord Sesshōmaru would possibly return her feelings.
She could not see him when she approached the well, but she knew he was within the forest. A moment later, he materialized from the gloom of the trees. Her heart skipped a beat as she finally beheld a sight she had so longed for. He was the same as he always was. His handsome countenance was inscrutable, and his serene presence belied brutal lethality.
But to Rin, this being represented safety and security. She let out a shaky breath as he approached her.
"Rin."
A heavy weight settled in her stomach. This was it, she was going to tell him, pride be damned.
"Lord Sesshōmaru."
"Are you well?"
Rin looked up into his eyes. The words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. "I…I am."
Her insides turned molten as she noticed his focused regard. He looked her over. His nostrils quivered as he took in her scent. He stood closer to her than he ever had before. She felt dizzy. She needed to speak up!
"Is the priestess still instructing you in the healing arts?"
Her shoulders slumped. Of course. The drudgery of her daily life…her life without him. Ordinarily, his awkward attempts at conversation endeared him to her, but today, it only made her mad. But she dutifully answered him.
"Yes, I have learned much from Granny Kaede, and have assisted her with several births in the last year. It is…challenging, and I am glad for the opportunity to increase my knowledge."
She spoke by rote, not caring one bit about discussing the routine that had barely kept her from losing her mind.
"The priestess informs me of a young human who wishes to wed you."
Her stomach dropped. So it was true. Inuyasha was wrong. She hadn't been jumping to conclusions. Lord Sesshōmaru and Granny Kaede had discussed her future without her. Hot tears burned the backs of her eyelids. Was he wanting her to be married off so he could finally be free of her? Was this the purpose of his visit after such a long absence? To urge her to hurry up and settle down? She turned away from his piercing stare, hugging herself.
"I…yes, there was. Kenta wished to marry me, but…I could not accept."
"Why?"
"M-my lord?" She peeked at him over her shoulder. He was looking off to the side, into the distance. She squeezed her eyes closed, but the tears still escaped.
"Is there another man in the village more to your liking?"
Rin balled her fists. She whirled around, glaring at him. "Lord Sesshōmaru, is that what you want? For me to be settled with a husband so your self-imposed duty can be fulfilled?"
His eyes widened and for a split second she felt deep shame for speaking to him in such a way. She had never seen that expression on his face…like she had slapped him. But it was too late to turn back now.
"Rin—"
"No, my lord, I-I need to say this! And…and I ask that you please listen!"
He stared at her, looking utterly baffled. Rin would have laughed at the high strangeness of the moment, if not for the urgency she felt to speak the truth of her heart to him. She took his silence for assent to continue.
"Granny Kaede doesn't think I am capable of knowing my own mind. Ever since you _left _me here, she's had my life all tied up and decided for me! Have you as well? Do you also believe me incapable of knowing my own mind? If so, I will tell you what she refuses to accept! I don't want to marry a nice village boy, and I never have! When I am with you, I am home. You make me feel alive and happy! All I have ever wanted is to be with you, Lord Sesshōmaru! And if that is not to be, then I am content to pass my days unmarried! To answer your question, NO! There is no man in the village more to my liking!"
He stood there motionless. His eyes…oh, gods, his beautiful eyes terrified her. They glittered with a fire she had never seen before. For the first time in all the time she had known him, his composure cracked. His brow furrowed in confusion. Had she…hurt him? Oh, she could not bear it!
As the words she had just spilled out registered in her mind, she groaned and covered her face. She ran as hard as she could for the only haven where she was understood: Inuyasha and Kagome's home. She was mortified and willed him to go away forever and let her die of humiliation in peace.