"Which one of you is it?" Emily looked up to see his face, Cyrus was furious and that could only mean one thing. Turning her attention to his body language, he was posturing, staring at them both, sizing them up, showing he was stronger, needing them to understand he was in charge. Cyrus paced up the room and turned to face them, opening his shirt showing the gun in his waistband. The way he pulled it out, there was no doubt in her mind he would shoot both of them if he had to.
"Which one of you is the FBI agent" she saw Reid tremor, if they weren't so close, if she wasn't trained to see it, she probably would have missed it.
"Why do you think one of us is FBI?" Reid instantly tried to set Cyrus back with logic. It wouldn't work, they knew his type, Reid should know that. Right away Emily chastised herself, Reid is afraid, of course he'd revert to what he knows, He is trying to protect them both, they have the same instincts just different methods.
"God will forgive me for what I have to do." She knows Cyrus' type as well as she knows Spencer. He's her best friend and yes, he would be devastated if anything happened to her, but he is so good, innocent even, despite the atrocities they see daily. She couldn't leave it up to chance what Cyrus might do to her friend in his rage. Cyrus pointed the gun at Spencer now, seeing the fear on Spencer's face was only emboldening him.
"I.. I.. don't know what you're talking about" Spencer's stuttering, combined with hearing the safety come off was enough to break her heart, she couldn't not step in.
"Well one of you does. Who is it?"
"Me. It's me." Her voice sounded tired, resigned, but firm even to her own ears. Spencer's face showed confusion and betrayal but mostly fear and she knew in that moment whatever happened she'd be fine knowing she had protected him. She only prayed that whatever came next, they took her somewhere far away, so Spencer didn't have to watch. He didn't need that memory. Cyrus tucked the gun back into his waistband and looked at her, waiting for weakness.
Emily tried to look confident, not wanting Spencer to think she was afraid and to worry about her more, but it all went out the window when Cyrus grabbed her by the hair and dragged her from the room. Emily tried to be strong but couldn't help the pain that sounded in her voice as she cried out, she couldn't get her balance which only made Cyrus grip her hair tighter dragging her across the ground. She gave Spencer one last look as she was pulled from the room, it was supposed to be reassuring but honestly it could have been anything.
She knew they would be trying to listen in from outside, she knew they would hear what was about to happen. Hotch and Morgan were protectors they'd want to storm in, but there were so many children here, they would all be in danger. The brutality she was about to experience couldn't be prevented and an early breach would lead to a tremendous loss of life. There had to be something she could say to get them to stay outside, she just needed the right moment so Cyrus didn't see what she was doing, realizing that the FBI was listening in, that would be a huge tactical loss.
"I told you not to put me in this position" He threw her down onto the storage room floor. This could play out a few ways. Was the privacy because he was trying to maintain his position as a prophet, and prophets aren't violent? She hadn't had enough exposure to their belief system to make that assessment. He took young wives, does that mean she can stop worrying about him attacking her sexually? Or does he enjoy the dominance which comes from having young wives, which would make this the same situation, if not even more enjoyable for him? Moments like this she hated being female in this line of work, she'd never heard a man talk about having these concerns… but then again women in the Bureau don't exactly admit to it either. It's behavioral, in how they dress and speak, almost trying to remove their femininity. She focused on the pain to try to slow her overthinking mind and dampen her fear, praying they were far enough away now that Spencer couldn't hear her, no matter what happened.
Cyrus smacked her so hard across the face that she fell to the ground, she tried to stand and right as she got close, she felt his knee connect with her chest and she fell again. Outside Hotch argued with Rossi about breaching. She took a few more hits before a punch landed so hard that she spun around and hit the wall smashing a mirror on impact. She focused on the pain to ground her, the glass was in her hands and her chest, there was plenty to focus on. She knew the noises she was making would have Morgan wanting to run in and save her, but the surprising force of each hit, she just couldn't seem to quieten down, the pain was so intense.
Cyrus gripped a handful of her hair, his body pressed against her back, speaking straight into her ear. "Proverbs 20:30 tells us blows and wounds cleanse away evil" This was her chance she could respond and hopefully Rossi was staying level enough to understand. Cyrus flung her into the wall on the other side of the room, god that was going to hurt later. She crumbled to the floor crying. He was so strong.
"I can take it" She managed to stand up so he'd think it was aimed at him "oh you can take it?" he slapped her even harder across the face knocking her back to the floor. She dragged herself back up, looked him dead in the eye "I can take it" honestly, she wasn't sure she could if this went on much longer, but if there was even the slightest chance this could save Spencer and those innocent children she had to try.
Rossi outside convinced Hotch and Morgan to stand down based on Emily's words. It was a hard sell to Morgan; Rossi knew Morgan cared for Emily more than he let on. Yes, they had this agreement that they wouldn't profile each other on the team but honestly, he couldn't help it, it comes as naturally as breathing. As Rossi had joined later, he wanted to understand the group dynamics and so he'd watched. Morgan keeps himself at a distance not fully committing to anyone and by constantly flirting with the girls he's created a rapport which relies purely on surface level banter, and he teases Reid to avoid Reid wanting to invest into him.
Reid looks up to Morgan because of his ease in communication, not even realizing how much of that is used as a shield, preventing him from experiencing life. Reid and Emily are better friends than anyone realizes. Her 'geeky' side as she calls it led to this level of mutual respect between her and Reid which developed into a pure friendship. She only pokes fun at him when she sees the potential for his growth and chooses her words carefully knowing he will replay them later, never treating him with kid gloves because she knows how much he can handle. She actively listens to all of his knowledge and digests for later discussion.
But Morgan and Emily have this weird back and forth Rossi has been trying to understand. Morgan seems desperate to understand more of Emily and protect her from everything, but also appears to distrust her on the basis that she seems unfazed by the work they do. Emily enjoys his protection while seeming constantly afraid of how much it comforts her, and simultaneously seeming afraid to let him closer as if there's something she needs to hide. From the outside it's easier to see they have similar protector traits likely from their own suffering and neither is used to the comfort they gain from the friendship, and both feel unsteady by their desire for more.
And Rossi well he looks at Emily like his own daughter. They've had this easy rapport from day one, she's so welcoming and ready to learn and it's lead him to enjoy their interactions more than he ever expected. So having to listen to this, well his stomach was churning already, and it could get so much worse.
All in all, if this situation were to escalate, he wasn't sure how Morgan would react and how to prepare for it if Morgan truly goes off script. "Pride comes before the fall" they heard the sickening impact and from Emily's whimpers can only assume it was yet another blow to the stomach.
Cyrus threw Emily back onto the ground, she landed on her side, and it hurt too much to turn, her shirt pulled up off her back as she tried to shift herself back into standing. It had occurred to her that she didn't know why she kept getting back up, fighting again, she couldn't actually fight him. Anything she did would affect others in here, out of spite Cyrus might hurt Reid. So, she took each hit as it came. Cyrus crouched down at her side putting a knee on one side of her just a little higher than her own knees where they'd curled into the fetal position, a poor attempt to protect her stomach from another blow and a knee on the other side, so he was straddling her hips. His fingers grazed her bare back and then her stomach, pressure increasing as he gained confidence. She coughed on the blood which trickled down her face and whispered "stop listening" Cyrus laughed not understanding, distracted by the new power shift.
Rossi looked at Hotch, Morgan had already thrown his headphones down unable to listen to his friend get hurt. "Step away Hotch" Hotch looked at him horrified, ready to pull rank; Rossi continued. "I'm staying with her, I'll listen and if she gives even the slightest indication that she wants us to go in I won't hesitate, but you don't need to listen to this." Hotch looked like he was going to argue so he added "She has very little control and this is the one thing she's asked for, please". Morgan looked between them confused before it dawned on him and he dove for the headset, Hotch grabbed him using all his strength to restrain him, pulling him away. "Morgan no! Please! You can't listen, there's no scenario where she'd want you to. Please don't put yourself through this" Morgan stopped fighting and his whole body slumped, he looked like he might just give up entirely.
"I can't believe you're willing to let him do this to her" Morgan didn't really aim it at anyone in particular he just sat down with his head in his hands rocking and waited. Hotch stood close to Rossi, leaving the headphones on the table but unable to move any further away.
Cyrus' hands grew more confident as he pushed her onto her back, sitting on her now rather than hovering. Emily looked at him defiantly "I thought you were into little girls" earning her a slap across the face "I mean that's why I'm here isn't it?" Slap "What, can't get it up when they're old enough to know better?" Slap "Have you even been with a woman your own age?" a right hook caught her under the jaw "Oh is that what this is about?" another punch, this one to the side of the face "No one your own age wanted to play so had to use this FBI thing as a ruse to get me alone?" he grabbed her head and smashed it into the ground – God he was so angry, she was only taunting him to try buy a little time, hoping that the prophet he was pretending to be would only be allowed to act sexually with his wives and that his 'people' would need him sooner rather than later. But if she got that wrong, then she'd made this whole situation so much worse. She knew realistically before the beating she could have put up a solid fight. Her hand-to-hand skills were decent, and Morgan had been helping her get better. But this was a horrible level of helplessness; Cyrus had the advantage. The fact she had outed herself as FBI had shown him she was a protector and there wasn't a doubt in her mind that he would use the women, children and especially Reid against her. He would hurt them to hurt her. So, she couldn't act. She couldn't protect herself. She couldn't fight. Because if she lost, well that isn't a thought worth considering because she wouldn't let it go there. Whatever happens, this is what she signed up for.
He reached behind him and pulled out a knife, he smiled in that disgusting way someone does when they just look at you too deliberately, eyes lingering far too long, he took the knife and started cutting her shirt open and she could see he was much more interested in her body than she'd been hoping. His hands dragged down her heavily, starting at her jaw, over her neck and throat and then down to cup her breasts. He ducked in pressing his lips against her ear "I'm really going to enjoy this" before he pressed his lips against hers pushing his tongue into her mouth. She tried to push her head against his to make him stop but his hand on her throat tightened keeping her head pinned to the ground making even breathing difficult. He moved his knee so that it was between her legs and pushed up, in that moment, she was so grateful she never wore skirts in the field. His mouth started trailing down and she could hear his breathing quicken, his hands groping and grasping at whatever they found, his knee rocking against her harder. She closed her eyes willing her mind to take her anywhere but here.
Just then she heard a commotion near the door and Cyrus quickly pushed off her, so he was standing he kicked her in the ribs and stomped on her stomach. When his followers came in, he was putting on quite the show. He left to speak to them, and she let out a sigh of relief whispering, "it's over Rossi".
Rossi let out the breath he'd been holding and motioned for Hotch and Morgan to rejoin. Morgan looked at him and saw tears streaking Rossi's face, he looked sick. "You okay Rossi?" Rossi grimaced "Better than Emily, I just want her out of there, do we have a plan yet?" Morgan looked at him wanting to ask more, wanting to know what Emily was going to have to recover from, but also knowing how much he'd hated other people prying into his business. He'd leave it up to her to tell him if she wanted to.
"Tie her up and put her upstairs" Cyrus motioned to Cole, his second in command. At least this part was over but being tied up and completely vulnerable alone in another part of their compound didn't feel like much of a win. The guy pulled her to her feet with brutal strength, tying her hands behind her back and walking her out of the room. When they started down some of the smaller corridors, he pulled her closer against him, her tied hands deliberately being pushed up against his crotch. So, they were all creeps, should have seen that one coming.
He opened a door and pushed her into the room, there was a four-poster bed which he pushed her into so her front was pressed against the post holding her in place with his own body. She barely breathed trying to evaluate just how dangerous this situation was. He was shifting himself against her, rocking his hips into her hands. Emily did everything she could to keep her hands limp, didn't want him getting the satisfaction he was looking for. He untied her hands, and she could feel his breath in her hair and on her neck. His hands started at the top of her arms sliding down, shifting to her waist rubbing light circles, over her stomach and up to graze lightly over her chest and then back down to feel her ass. It was weird because the touch was still completely unwanted but so opposite to how Cyrus had been, somehow, she felt less afraid. That is until he stopped. "Lie on the bed" her breath caught; no this couldn't be happening "now". His gun was still slung over his shoulder, the unspoken threat.
She moved onto the bed, her head on the pillows. At least this helped with the pain somewhat. He put one knee on the bed next to her steadying himself as took a hold of her wrists and tied them over her head to the headboard his hands lingering, eyes drinking her in. She was painfully aware of her shirt hanging open. She closed her eyes not wanting to see how any of it was affecting him, but she could hear his heavy breathing. He swept his hands heavily down her arms slowly and then lower, groping her chest extensively then her stomach down to the top of her jeans, her whole body seized she couldn't help it. His fingers brushed under the waistband and then started back up over her chest he ran his fingers across her face, across her lips and pushing his fingers just slightly into her mouth holding them there for a second. She opened her eyes in time to see him take a deep shuddering breath. He pulled fabric from his back pocket and tied it over her eyes, and then she heard the door open and close, she was left alone. Relief flooded her mind, and she felt the tears start running down her face and could hear herself sobbing but it was like she was totally detached from herself. She needed to pull it together if they were going to get out of here alive. "I'm fine" she wasn't sure if she was saying it to the team or to convince herself.
Later
Emily was dragged down from the room she'd been left tied up in and brought to the chapel. Every ounce of her body ached but she knew Spencer would be there, so she'd be strong. On entering the chapel, she instantly felt his eyes on her, it broke her heart, knowing he felt like this was his fault. She felt a couple tears slip from her eyes annoyed she brushed them away. She'd do it again, without a doubt, knowing she had kept him safe and unharmed. She chose to try and avoid the obvious, bring his mind back to the task as he walked to stand next to her "he looks pissed" but Spencer was still looking at her. His eyes had been following her every move, not trying to hide the fact he was profiling her. He wanted to know the cost of saving him, wanted to know if she was okay, if they'd be okay, and he knew that it could get worse and that he couldn't help. So, she allowed herself a few seconds to show how she felt, for him. She looked at him with the compassion she always did, gosh she loved that kid "it's not as bad as it looks"
"I'm so sorry" she didn't know her heart could break more, but seeing the guilt etched on his face, she shook her head and gave no more attention to her own pain and reverted to the task.
"Look at who he's releasing" Spencer's mind back on track caught up
"It's the ones who failed the loyalty test" Spencer continued looking around for a second, she was pretty sure he couldn't look at her injuries any longer "I'll get word to the team. Wait for a sign from the outside to indicate what time the raid will come" Spencer quickly walked away to avoid suspicion of them being too close. She was glad he didn't seem to notice the state of her shirt she had managed to salvage a couple buttons and her blood caking the shirt had held enough of it in place that it held shut as long as she didn't move too much.
Back in the room
Emily had her hands tied behind her back lying on a bed in a different room. She used her foot to move the blinds hoping they'd pick up what she was saying "If you can hear me, I know you're coming. I can try and get the women and children down to the tunnels, but I need to know when you are coming" she said it over and over hoping that someone, anyone might be listening. Then a red dot appeared on her shoe, then the wall. "Okay, okay, I got you. What time? What time?" The light blinked three times "three am?" the light moved up and down. "Understood" she let out a sigh "Reid is on the first floor somewhere with Cyrus. And please remember there are children here. Someone's coming"
The mother came back in to give her some water "Cyrus is planning a mass suicide; you made that 911 call"
"This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if I hadn't made that call"
"You were trying to protect your daughter."
"There were other girls before Jesse, he would marry them in secret and after a while he'd take another. And we weren't permitted to speak of it. So, when she asked for my consent. I wanted to take her and run but I was afraid she wouldn't leave him."
"You wanted us to take her"
"Well, I.. I wanted to save her from Cyrus"
"I can give you another chance. The FBI is coming here at 3am. I need you to gather Jessica, the kids, the other woman. Get them into the basement just before 3am"
"Why are you telling me this"
"Because I have faith that you are a strong enough woman to do the right thing for Jessica" with that she left the room. Emily had never felt so alone and vulnerable. If she couldn't get out of the ropes and leave this room she might never get to leave, or she might find herself dying for a cause she never wanted to be a part of. Now she just had to wait and hope they found her in time.
Later
The mother came rushing back in "You were right. They're setting the place to blow up. I told Jesse, Cyrus wanted her to gather the women and children." Emily sat up giving her access to the ropes tying her hands.
"Where is the man I came in with?"
He's in the chapel with Cyrus, its two forty-five we gotta hurry" With her hands untied Emily hurried to follow her, every movement caused her body to ache, her head was throbbing she felt like she might pass out, and her ribs were burning with every breath, but they needed to get as many people out as they could.
Down in the basement the strike team entered taking out Cyrus' men as they did. Morgan was in the initial breach, unwilling to be away from Emily a second longer. Since the news reporter had announced the FBI presence and everything had spiraled, he hadn't been able to breathe. He needed to see her, hold her, know that she was okay. She'd tell him he was being ridiculous, that she didn't need protecting, but that didn't change how he felt. He was so afraid for her, of what might have happened, what could still be happening. She didn't deserve it. She had never opened up to him fully, but pain recognized pain. There was far more pain and suffering in her life than she had ever alluded to. It was likely she never would tell him, but he could be there for her anyway. The same way she supported him without ever admitting that's what she was doing. Their mutual understanding was enough, even if it put a cap on intimacy, it was better than being alone in it. Morgan was scanning the crowd knowing the only way they could all be in the basement was Emily and knowing she would be one of the last to leave, always the protector, even at her own detriment. Finally, he saw Emily coming down the stairs hurrying people in front of her "Emily, Emily you alright?" he saw the blood staining her clothes and an intense amount of bruising on her face. Giving her a once over there didn't appear to be any life-threatening injuries but his heart broke anyway. That being said he'd never seen her look so unsteady, or her frame ever look quite so small. He quickly passed her the FBI coat he'd carried in for her. She gave him a look that said we won't be talking about this as she slipped it on and zipped to cover her shirt.
"They've wired explosives" Morgan nodded to the team he'd entered with, her voice betraying a desperation he'd never heard from her
"Where's Reid?"
"He's in the chapel with Cyrus" Emily was hyper-alert, head spinning watching everything
Rossi finally joined "We've gotta get you out of here" Emily pulled sharply from his attempt to grab her
"No, we've got to get Reid" Emily couldn't even believe the strength in her own voice
"Prentiss, I will get Reid." Morgan stated strongly knowing absolutes were the only way she'd hear him "Get out of here. Go to safety. Go now." He expected her to fight more but she finally turned to leave. Rossi took ahold of Emily to guide her out of the building, it was selfish but he needed the physical contact to assure himself they had actually rescued her and that it was over. Just clear of the building he pulled her into a hug "I am so sorry". Emily shrank out of the hug, uncomfortable with what he wasn't sure, but he let her, he just stayed close to her.
Emily looked at him with the saddest eyes "It's over now, we need to find Reid and Morgan" she gripped his arm, and he knew that was her saying she didn't want to talk about it, but she didn't blame him. So they would be okay, just careful with the physical contact.
Outside the building already when it exploded, Emily ran to the front looking for the entrance to the chapel looking for Morgan and Reid. This can't have happened. She can't have gone through all of this for Reid to die anyway. This can't be how this ends. "Reid, Morgan? Reid… Morgan?" she's choking on their names, far more emotion welling up than she can handle. She can feel herself about to break when she sees their figures emerging from the rubble coughing. She walked up slowly not even sure her body could take another step, but she made it to Reid, she pulled him into the tightest hug and cried over him. Spencer hugged her back, his arms enveloping her; her bold personality makes people forget just how small she really is, his whole body pressed against her, showing just how awful he'd been feeling because he normally he'd squirm out of her hug as quickly as he can. As they walked back to the rest of the team Spencer kept his arm around Emily not quite willing to let go, also knowing she needed him and trying to give her physical support so she could walk out strong.
Back on the plane
Emily's go bag had never left the plane, so she took it and went into the bathroom. Stripping off her filth covered clothes she took out her flannel and washed the blood and grime from her body. Her wrists were a mess from the ropes, her long sleeves would cover that, the bruising round her neck she hoped her hair would cover. She was going to need some stiches, but she'd managed to dodge the paramedics at the scene. The last thing she wanted was to be taken to the hospital and get stuck there. Being stuck in this town is the last thing she needed. She'd get seen to once they got home. Looking in the med kit she found some butterfly stitches and some bandages and tidied herself up. The amount of blood caked into her hair surprised her slightly but explained the headache. She used a comb to clean out the blood and fix her hair. Packing her things away and with new clothes on she felt a little more presentable and went back to join the team. Pushing through the curtain she found herself feeling more vulnerable than she expected, unsure who had been listening to what happened to her.
Emily sat down across from Spencer "hey"
"hey" he was looking at his book, trying to avoid looking at her because he still felt guilty, and she knew it. She gently reached across the table taking his hands giving him a soft look which said – hey we need to talk and lowered his book.
"Hey, I need you to listen to me. What Cyrus did to me was not your fault. It was my decision, and I would do it again." She tried to maintain eye contact with him, but he still couldn't quite look at her. He gave her a sad smile showing he heard her even if he doesn't like what he's hearing. "Do you hear me?" He smiled sadly again and held eye contact slightly longer "thank you" she squeezed his hands again and didn't quite let go, rubbing her fingers across his hands gently. They communicated more through non-verbal and here she was saying I hold nothing against you, and I still care for you just as much. She sat back and watched him, he picked his book back up to continue reading but looked over the top and gave her one of his cute sheepish smiles which in turn made her genuinely smile. They could go back to normal eventually.
Shifting to ease the pain off of her ribs so she could get some sleep Emily slouched down the chair a little more and moved her feet so she was pressing her lower leg against Reid's, she felt him start to move away then pause realizing it might have been intentional. She doesn't look up but smiles anyway knowing he's looking at her to test his hypothesis. He doesn't shift away, instead returns some of the pressure. She just wanted to maintain some physical contact, between the way Cyrus had beaten her and touched her and his second in command leering at her as he tied her to the bed it had left her feeling just a little vulnerable. Not enough to ask for help, but she'd never reached that point either, so who knew how close she was. She slept the rest of the plane ride.
On landing she woke hearing Spencer talking about burgers and the normality made her smile. She'd protected him and that alone made today a good day. She stood and started collecting her things, her back to the group "Hey Em, you joining?" she set her body and face into the most relaxed she could manage before turning to face them– this is a plane full of profilers after all.
"I'm beat guys, you have fun. I'm just going home for a bath and some sleep." She paused trying to think of something else to convince them she was okay "but you let me know how those burgers are I foresee takeout calling my name" they laughed and unloaded from the plane, piling into cars.
She was the last to leave the plane following closely behind her boss "Hotch" she said it loud enough for him to hear but not to make anyone else turn.
"Yeah Emily, everything okay?" they paused on the tarmac just at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled a little sad and gave one of those if you don't laugh you'll cry chuckles.
"Yeah, I'm okay… can I take a couple of days?" She paused a little awkward, not sure how much detail he required "I just want to make sure I'm field ready.. you know"
"Of course, take a couple days, let me know if you're ready or need some more time." He paused a little uncomfortable too. They both knew which part had shaken her up, but it was her choice to bring it up. The fact she'd been in so much danger was his fault so he didn't really feel like he could tell her what to do, despite being her boss. "I'd also like to recommend that you go see the department therapist, but I'm not ordering it. Today was bad, I know that. It almost broke Rossi and he doesn't have to deal with the repercussions of being in that room alone… I guess, I'm just saying I'd understand if you needed more time, and I'm not judging you if you decide to take it." She smiled, Hotch always had that way with words that made you feel like you were talking to your dad.
"Thanks"
She smiled and walked for her own car. Emily watched everyone else leave and then with the car doors locked and music playing she let the tears fall. Once they started, she couldn't stop them. They fell faster, she couldn't see, her whole body was shaking, and she could barely breathe. And then, as quickly as she started, she stopped. She took a few breaths "right that's enough" and drove herself to the ER. While still sitting in her car she gave Garcia a quick call, knowing she'd appreciate the personal update but she also had a personal request she needed taken care of.
Emily walked into the ER trying to look confident, but it was hard with everyone eyeing the bruising on her face. At the desk she smiled at the nurse "Hi, um I'm not quite sure what the process is, normally I'd have been brought by paramedics, but I was trying to act strong in front of my colleagues. Oh yeah that's relevant I'm FBI this" she motioned to herself "happened on my last case" the nurse looked less worried and smiled collecting some paperwork.
"Okay so you'll need to fill this out, if you take a seat over there, as soon as someone is available, they'll call your name."
"Perfect thank you, oh also.." she lowered her voice a little feeling embarrassed "could I request a female doctor, is that okay?"
"Absolutely, I'll mark it down"
Emily eyed the waiting room and chose a seat in the corner her back to the wall. She wondered to herself a little when the hypervigilance would ware off. She felt herself dozing off a little when her name was called. She stood a little too quickly and found herself feeling quite dizzy and nauseas. The doctor smiled and directed her to one of the exam rooms. "Hi, Miss Prentiss, I'm Georgia I'll be your doctor today"
"Oh, please Emily"
"Of, course, I have a gown here I'd like you to change into, I'll pull the curtain to give you a little privacy." She pulled the curtain leaving Emily on the other side to change. The pain in her ribs was only getting worse and her head was hurting so much she didn't understand how she hadn't noticed it before. "So, on your paperwork it said you were injured at work, can you give me a little detail, so I know the nature of your injuries, just so I don't miss anything?"
"Ha um yeah, have you been watching the news lately?"
"We see the big headlines really, just what flashes across the screens"
"Did you see hostage situation in the compound?"
"Oh yes, it exploded, right? Undercover FBI, lots of drama..?" her voice tailed off realizing it wasn't just casual chit chat.
"You can come back in" The doctor pulled back the curtain to see Emily sitting on the exam bed folding her clothes "they didn't know I was FBI until then, didn't go down very well" Emily motioned to her body and watched the doctor's eyes scan over the bits which were exposed, the layers of bruising all over her arms and legs, rope burns on her wrists and ankles, cuts from the mirror. The doctor cleared her throat suddenly uncomfortable and not too sure how to continue.
"I'd never really thought about that side of it before." She paused looking at the paperwork Emily had filled in. "Did you come in with someone?" Emily smiled
"No, I didn't even tell them I'm here, I don't like them worrying" she shrugged looking down, not wanting to admit it but she did wish someone had come with her. Not that she needed it, and definitely wouldn't want them fussing over her. Probably Spencer or Rossi, because they'd sit in the waiting room and read rather than flap around, but still nice to know they're there. The doctor let out a noise Emily could only describe as a huff, sounding annoyed but also like she understood all with one breath.
"Okay well, let's try make this as painless as possible" she cringed even as she said it, Emily shook her head with a smile showing she took no offense "I see a lot of minor injuries and I imagine these are a regular with your job, would you like to show me what brought you in to see me?" Emily smiled, everyone's a profiler in their own profession. She lifted her gown to show her ribs and stomach
"My head is really not great either, I keep getting hit by waves of nausea, feeling a little lightheaded, probably a concussion" Georgia smiled a little sad
"Okay could you lie down; I'd like to take a look at your abdomen first. Would you walk me through it? I don't need all the details just insight into what caused injuries, so I don't miss anything"
Emily went through everything she felt relevant, it stayed clinical removing herself from the situation entirely, kind of how they look over a case file and just talk details without emotion. If they thought about them in more detail they'd never get through the day. Emily found herself being carted around the hospital for scans, the doctor not being comfortable with Emily's assessment of having survived worse. Back in the exam room the doctor was filling in paperwork and kept pausing looking at Emily and then continuing, after the third time Emily finally spoke up, far too uncomfortable with the looks "you can ask, whatever it is, you're just doing your job"
"Sorry. I just have one last thing I need to ask, and I'm sorry it is personal" Emily eyed her and saw how uncomfortable she was, couldn't really figure out why she'd already been basically naked while this woman examined each little injury. "Okay so these bruises here, combined with the marks I see at your wrists, your neck, your ankles. That combination of injuries almost always leads me to having to do a sexual assault examination, but you haven't asked for one and you've obviously cleaned yourself up" Emily interrupted before the doctor explained anymore.
"Oh, I'm sorry, no I don't need one, it didn't go that far. I guess I was lucky. Is lucky even the right word? Either way I'm incredibly grateful. My day has been bad enough I'm really glad not to be adding that to the mix" she saw the doctor relax, not sure if the idea of an FBI agent being assaulted was just horrific to her or the idea that it had happened at work or what.
Hours later she was finally leaving the hospital with a baggy of painkillers, some stitches in her head and a few places on her torso and bandages on her wrists, ankles, and neck. She had broken ribs and a concussion which was just freaking wonderful. She got in her car to drive the couple minutes home dreaming of sleeping for like 15 hours. Parking up she walked into her apartment building taking the elevator to her floor, definitely not the day for stairs. As the doors opened who other than Derek Morgan is leaning against her door.
"Hey baby girl" she gave him a tired smile and offered a hand for him to stand. She pushed the keys into the door and opened it, walking into her apartment ahead of him, she waited for him to step inside after her. He turned closing and locking the door behind him then turned to face her and without hesitation pulled her into the safety of his arms, for once she didn't fight, just enjoyed the feeling of safety and cried against his chest. He held her tight in that way only guys seemed to be able to, the hand in her hair, arms cradling her entire body.
She finally pulled away, quickly turning her face away and clearing the tears, trying to regain some sense of self. "Well, that was embarrassing" Morgan shook his head reaching for her hands ducking his head to try get her to make eye contact.
"No, it's not. Today has been awful. You want to talk about it?" Emily looked at him, his face was always so kind, the type of guy you instinctively want to trust. But he never shared bits of himself, and it always left her feeling raw and on the outside with him. Changing the subject seemed like the better option.
"Who'd you have to sweet-talk at the hospital to get them to call you when I left?" The caught-out smile on his face actually warmed her heart a little. He acts so shallow at work but it's just that, an act and she knows it. And he knows that she knows it.
"I just didn't want you alone tonight, I know we don't hang out the way you and Reid do, but I brought burgers so hopefully that makes up for it." He gave her this hopeful smile and she can see he's genuinely concerned she'll turn him away. She smiled lightly and motioned towards the kitchen.
"There's beer in the fridge, I'm going to change. I'll be back down in a minute." The cute smile Morgan gave warmed her just a little. She hadn't wanted to be alone, but she'd never admit it, it was nice he'd recognized that. Climbing up the stairs she felt her ribs aching again, her ability to compartmentalize pain always amazed her. In her bedroom she peeled off her clothes, careful to avoid loosening any of the bandages and was definitely a little sad she couldn't shower because of them. Despite cleaning the dirt and blood from her skin she still felt dirty, she could still feel Cyrus and Cole'shands on her. Emily moved to stand in front of her mirror. The sight was a little shocking, the bruising such a contrast against her pale skin. Her left side blackened around her lower ribs and across her stomach, but smaller lighter bruising and cuts covered the majority of her torso. The bruising around her thighs reminding her that despite everything her day could have been even worse. Being tied to a bed for hours, completely vulnerable was going to leave a mark anyway. The skin across her body was raw, the thought of putting any of the clothes she'd wear around guests normally to cover more skin made her feel sick. She settled on a black tank and some cotton pajama shorts with some big woolen socks knowing there's a blanket on the sofa she can cover up with.
She could hear Morgan working in the kitchen probably getting plates for food when she came down. He looked up as she came in and she saw a flash of hurt when he saw all the bruising and bandages. He quickly tried to cover it by going back to plating. He knew she would mistake it for pity and that was not something she wanted. "Sorry just the fabrics are agitating my skin, I'd have covered them better otherwise" He gave her a look he normally reserved for Reid, along the lines of – are you kidding me?
"Only you could apologize for not wearing enough clothes, especially to me, I'm the guy who hits on you constantly." That earned him a smile "Seriously though Em you've had a crappy day don't worry about it, let someone look after you for once" He grazed his fingers lightly over her hand which was resting on the counter and smiled at her. "Food's ready go, sit I'll bring it over; you want a beer?"
Her first instinct was obviously, but then considering the pain, the concussion, the medication she can take if she doesn't "No, I'd better pass" and went to her handbag. Her discharge information was there along with a couple scripts she'd had filled before leaving. The doctor had given her painkillers, obviously, but she'd also prescribed an anti-anxiety explaining that it might be something she finds helpful to take before bed. She'd accepted the script unsure how she felt about taking them. She could feel Morgan watching her. Opening one of the bottles she popped a couple and dry swallowed them before joining him on the sofa to dig into the burger. She handed him the discharge notes without looking at him, knowing he'd want to know what the extent of her injuries were but that he'd also never ask. He quietly looks them over then sets them aside looking at her a little uncomfortable.
"You know I would have gone to the hospital with you, if you'd asked"
"I was fine going on my own"
"Yeah, I got that. You're always fine. But Em sometimes people want to be there for you. I want to be there for you, but it's really hard to know how to. You're incredibly strong, but that doesn't mean you have to be." She took a bite of the burger to avoid having to look at him or answer for a second. He smirked and muttered "textbook avoidance"
She smirked and smacked him "look we all have our damage, mine means I'm not so great at the reaching out. We all have our thing" she shrugged and looked back to her burger.
"Is that why you wouldn't let us come in?" He said it quieter, knowing she was going to be unhappy with the question. Her head whipped up and she looked appalled.
"No Morgan do not mistake me for prideful. I did what I had to, to protect those children, for minimal loss and for Reid. You weren't there. You didn't see it. You don't know"
"You're right I don't know, because you told us not to listen, I practically assaulted Hotchner because I wanted to breach, to stop you having to deal with any of it. Reid isn't talking, unsure if that's because of what he went through, the guilt of what you went through instead of him or the fact he feels like he can't talk because you won't" He saw her entire body recoil on that one and knew he'd hit the right nerve.
"Don't you dare try put that on me. Other than trying to survive in there, the only other thing I focused on was Reid and making sure he was safe. Hugging him afterwards because I knew no one else would. Talking to him on the plane again, telling him none of this is his fault, knowing he needed to hear those words out loud. Having Garcia lock up those recordings, so Reid and his damn memory don't have to re-live that special variation of hell. Don't you dare try throw Reid at me. I took care of him. I protected him. I did my job." She's never shown all of herself to Morgan, never let her mask slip, never been anything more than that eager FBI agent willing to prove herself. But here and now she was so angry. Angry that he was pushing her, angry about everything she'd gone through, angry that she couldn't just recover instantly. She was just radiating anger and him staring at her was only making it worse.
"You classified the recordings?" she paused confused, realizing she never meant to say that. She saw the sadness on his face and all of her anger drained away. She sighed looking down at the burger that was just making her throat hurt choosing to leave it in favor of some water, standing and turning her back on Morgan to go to the kitchen. "What would he hear?". His voice was so quiet and so full of pain. She took her time filling a glass, took a sip and paused at the sink not quite ready to turn around yet, not ready for his keen profiler eyes to look right through her. She resigned to walking back to the sofa wanting to wrap a blanket around her, feeling overly vulnerable now. She took her time carefully wrapping herself, not wanting to agitate her skin and wanting those extra couple of seconds before she would have to answer him. Still looking down picking at bits of fluff on the blanket. She'd been silent too long, she knew that, but trying to choose her words was taking time. When she spoke her voice was softer, quieter, less self-assured than Morgan had ever heard her.
"I'm not even sure how much of it was recorded, he just doesn't need to know the details. He's too wonderful, still innocent. I can't" she paused trying to figure out how to finish the sentence "I can't be the reason that's taken away" she felt a stray tear trailing down her cheek. Morgan reached forward slowly and wiped it away and gently pulled one of her hands from the blanket enveloping it in one of his. He shifted closer so her knees which were tucked up against her were pressed against his chest.
"Emily, it's not him I'm worried about" she sighed a little frustrated, anyone else would have dropped it and moved on. "I just really need you to know I'm here for you. Not in that dumb bring you casseroles kind of way" he nodded to the takeaway bags "although takeout I can manage. But in a call me at 3am because you thought you were fine but you're not anymore. In a walk you to your car because you don't feel safe yet. In a sit with the phone on speaker while you go to sleep because you didn't want to be alone kind of way Em. It sounds cringy and far more invested than I've ever acted but you're my friend Emily. No matter what happened in there, no matter if you ever tell me about it, I'm here for you and I care for you and I'm not really the type of guy to drop it okay" by the end he was smiling and laughing a little watching her squirm so uncomfortably with his opening up to her. She squeezed his hand and smiled leaning into the back of the sofa closing her eyes. He watched her face; she seemed the most relaxed she'd been since getting home.
Her voice came out so quiet he almost missed it "would you stay?" he watched her face feeling like he'd imagined it when she opened her eyes looking right at him. He saw the vulnerability, the mask she had so perfectly installed over the years, gone.
"Always"