Jack stares into Sam's eyes with as much love and affection as he can muster, tears spilling over his eyelids and clinging to long lashes. The vibrations of whatever is happening to his brain make him feel sick and confused; it's hard to remember exactly what is and isn't real. Who is he? If there is one thing he will remember, it's the brightness of Carter's eyes.
He internally curses himself for goading Calder without backup. The City Administrator had been swift in his attack, using an unexpected pulse to disable Jack and presumably sending messages out to do the same to his team. He had come to in a painfully bright lab tightly bound against a vertical platform, head fastened against it with a rough band across his forehead. He'd seen Carter directly across from him, only inches away, but out of reach. Her eyes were so fucking bright.
"Colonel?" she'd said, and it sounded like a plea. "What happened? What are they doing to us?"
"The memory stamp, Carter. He-Calder-said he would demonstrate it. I told him we wouldn't condone enslavement, their way of life. I- he got the drop on me. I'm sorry." He'd choked out the words, quickly realizing this might be the last chance they had to talk to each other as each other. His breath had caught and burned in his throat and he swallowed a sob. Then another.
What would they do to her? To him? If he didn't know who he was, then he couldn't watch her back, make her laugh, do whatever it was she would allow him to do, to be to her. He refuses to blink the tears away because he can't bear to lose one second of her gaze while he still knows it's hers. The vibrations in his skull grow more impatient, but he still knows those eyes and he still knows his Carter. Tears slip down her cheeks and he wants to kiss them. "Carter," he cried; "Sam, I-"
"I know. It's okay."
Jack's heart had broken years before, and he didn't think it had been made so whole that it could break again until this moment. This moment, with tears racing down his face and his voice failing him, with the harsh sterility of the room surrounding them, he feels the fracture in his chest and gasps at the sensation. He focuses every part of him he can still feel on the blue of her eyes and the memory of her confessing her love for him those months ago to appease the Tok'ra device. He basks in those precious memories as she had stared at him, like she's doing now, and opened up the truth of her love for. It had been the first time he felt whole since Charlie died, and despite everything, he'd felt like the world was simply better to be in.
"Carter."
"Jack."
"Listen to me," he says in a harsh whisper he doesn't recognize. It is a great labor for him to speak. "Listen, please. I will always be here for you. No matter where, no matter what. Do you believe me?"
"Yes," she sobs the word more than says it. She's shaking against the restraints, and it is killing him not to hold her.
"No matter where, no matter what, Carter; I mean it." He knows his voice is ragged, pleading, and raw with the sobs he can't hold back. His eyes burn from not blinking and from the filtered sterile air blowing against his tears.
"I know. Me too." Her eyes are dark now, overwhelmed by tears.
"Please just keep looking at me. I want to remember."
"I'll never forget, Sir."
He mouths I love you because his voice has given out. He knows she understands, even as they both start to look less like themselves somehow while the uncomfortable vibration in their skulls continues. He keeps his focus on her blue eyes, perfect even in despair. She manages to mouth it back before everything goes dark.
Blinking awake, he coughs a little and scrubs his knuckles over his closed eyes. He looks around and sighs. Another day. He sits up, manages his morning hygiene, and heads for breakfast for the only real thrill he knows.
"Good morning Jonah," she says with a bright smile and those perfect, big blue eyes.
"Good morning, Thera." He hugs her and pulls back to look at her again. "I never get tired of those eyes."