AN: Just fished the Konosuba light novels just came in so why not make a story I've been thinking of?

PS: This is a fic I made months ago when I was bored but never posted because I wasn't sure it was good enough. But I figured why not post something while I try finishing chapters in my other stories?

Chapter 1

Kazuma trudged through the snow with Megumin, Darkness, and Aqua beside him. Those three were the second most chaotic group he knew and yet they still drove him batty some days. Darkness while having a rocking body that he'd love to see more of if it wasn't for her rather depraved antics, now he believed in equality and didn't want to kink shame anyone but there was only so much he could take when it came to her masochism. Aqua was another busty beauty with an upbeat attitude but he could not stand her constant nagging, her tendency to taunt him at every opportunity, and most of all her uselessness. If she's not healing or explaining some fact after it was needed she was drinking, eating, doing party tricks, and worst of all putting them into debt. Megumin, now he had a lot he could say about her, She's flat as a board, a massive chuuni, self-proclaimed genius, a glass cannon, a one-shot wonder, kinda cute in her own way, and an arch wizard with an amazing spell but also the only spell she knew. She was obsessed with explosion magic and while awesome and cool she could only cast it once a day. Now don't get him wrong he'd much rather be with them than the other group, he'd never tell them that though. The group that was worse in his opinion was his whole family. His father, mothers, and siblings never made his life easy. Yes, that's right mothers as in more than one. The only good thing was he never had to deal with them anymore, or so he hoped.

They were hunting winter sprites to pay off the debts they received when Aqua's water spell destroyed the outer Gate. Each sprite was worth one hundred thousand; if they got enough, it would put a sizable dent in the debt. Kazuma looked around as they made their way to the marked location and frowned it looked like they were the only group who took the quest. He didn't mind an easy quest but given their recent track record, the group would probably run into something stupidly overpowered like some super yeti. Once in position, the plan was put into motion Darkness would pull as many as she could in, and once enough was there Darkness moved from the middle reluctantly and Megumin prepared her explosion while Kazuma picked off the stragglers. Aqua was capturing them for a scheme she had.

"Explosion!" The ground shook as the large crowd of sprites was wiped off the map in a mushroom cloud-like explosion.

"Good… job, yeah that's about right." Kazuma sighed as Megumin fell face-first into the snow. "Aqua… Keep doing what you're doing I'm going to make sure she doesn't suffocate." Kazuma ducked the stupid sprites and quickly crouched and turned Megumin over.

"Kazuma stay crouched and drop your sword!" Aqua called in a panic as he was about to stand.

"Wha, Why?" Kazuma looked around and saw a massive figure moving toward them.

"It's the Winter Shogun! Do not show any hostility!" Aqua cried.

"Why the hell is a samurai here?!" Kazuma was terrified that thing was huge.

"Whenever someone comes over from Japan their thoughts can affect this world and this was one of the changes." Aqua quickly explained.

"Do not worry I shall protect you all." Darkness jumped in front of Kazuma and Megumin shaking from 'excitement' with her sword ready. Kazuma knowing they didn't have a chance against that thing got up and quickly pushed Darkness into a crouch but then everything went dark.

[

It was like a repeat of the start of his journey Kazuma sat on a wooden chair facing a girl on a throne. The girl however was already making a better impression than Aqua. She looked generally sorry for him and got up greeting him with a small bow. Kazuma however hadn't been this annoyed since before he left home living in that house with his father and his multiple mothers plus a bunch of rather crazy siblings was a nightmare. It didn't help that he was the eldest son either so he was always forced to watch his siblings while all he wanted to do was either game or watch anime while his older sisters got to do whatever they wanted to do.

"Oh crap I died again." Kazuma dropped his head in resignation.

"I am the Goddess of Fortune Eris and I am deeply sorry. To end up here so soon after making the sacrifice to try and help this world, Kazuma… Sato, odd there was another name there a second ago." Eris explained.

"You're the goddess everyone talks about," Kazuma remembered hearing a few adventurers pray to her before going on quests.

"Yes, they are my followers. You came all the way from Japan only for this to happen I am sorry for failing you in your time of need." Eris brought her hands up in prayer. Kazuma was stunned first at the greeting and now Eris actually seems sad that he died. She was a far better Goddess than Aqua.

"If it is what you desire I can resurrect you into a loving wealthy family back in Japan," Eris explained. Kazuma ran over and cupped her hands causing the goddess to blush.

"Really?! Can you make it so I have maxed out stats... no can you make it so I don't have any annoying siblings, or maybe just a loving little sister who doesn't treat me like I'm some personal errand boy?!" Kazuma was so excited he collapsed on his chair. "Man when I heard the deal for this world I was so excited but instead I got a whiny narcissistic goddess, a girl obsessed with explosions and a masochistic knight with worse aim than one of my moms. After we defeated that general I thought it would be easy living but The debt from the damages forced us to stay in the stables even though it's winter now. Man, the balance of that world was wack." A tear slid down his cheek. "Huh, why… Oh no." Kazuma couldn't contemplate why he was crying as he noticed a small doll with spikey red hair that filled him with dread peeking from behind Eris's throne.

"Finally!" Aqua's voice rang out. "Kazuma I know you're in there I cast resurrection already so come back!"

"Aqua!" He was saved or doomed he wasn't quite sure Momma Washu already knew everything.

"You can't the laws of heaven forbid it." Eris quickly explained.

"Did you hear that Aqua I can't! Eris says the laws won't allow it." Kazuma reported back.

"Wait Eris that little upstart!? Tell her if she doesn't send you back I'm going to tell all her followers she pads her bra!" Aqua cursed.

"Wait is that true? / Alright, I'll send you back!" Kazuma asked as Eris allowed the resurrection to happen. Kazuma felt his body pulled back to the land of the living. "Please keep this a secret!?/Those are pads!?"

After Kazuma left Eris handed the doll a small letter and sat down with a sigh. "Lady Aqua can be so mean."

[

"KAZUMA!" Darkness and Meguimin both hugged him as he awoke. It was the strangest thing ever normally they were scolding him for his bad behavior. He looked around and saw a big blood stain and decided he didn't want to know. He also noticed some blood stains on Megumin which was odd. Was she sprayed with his blood? The thought made Kazuma's already anxious stomach churn.

"I'm back but Maybe you can let me up it's freezing and I want to get back to the guild as soon as possible." Kazuma half lied, he did want to get away as soon as possible thinking that Momma Washu was already on her way.

"What not even a thank you for a great goddess like me?" Aqua huffed.

"Thank you Aqua." They all stared at Kazuma like he grew a second head as he stood up. "Come on let's go I really don't want to die again so soon. Can you walk?" He pulled Megumin up, she was already moving so likely Aqua had given her some energy but she stuck to him like glue. "Fine, I'll carry you." He sighed. As long as they got away he didn't mind carrying her.

"Aqua what's wrong with Kazuma?" Darkness asked in a hushed voice.

"He probably saw how great I am HAHAHA!" Aqua boasted.

[

Aqua and darkness quickly took the lead leaving Kazuma with his thoughts. The trek back to the city wasn't too bad but it was long enough for kazuma to come up with an escape plan if needed. Kazuma didn't hate his mom but she was just so overbearing at times and that wasn't including the experiments she had him and his younger brother help with. He wouldn't be shocked if he had also moved out as soon as he could hopefully, however, he was talking about running away the last time they talked. He just chalked it up to Washu's DNA after all one of his other moms was Washu's daughter created via cloning. He didn't try to think about that… it was better for what sanity he had left. Slowly he started humming a lullaby he used to hear a lot as an infant and child.

"Kazuma…" Meguimin was about to tell him about a staring pinkish red haired lady who started following him but the lady pressed her finger to her lips.

"Yeah?" Kazuma asked.

"Uh…" The lady had a devious smile. And whispered, "Ask what he's humming." Megumin was weirded out but also didn't want anything bad to happen and complied. "What is that you're humming?"

"Oh, that. It's a lullaby my mom used to sing to me while I was young." Kazuma chuckled awkwardly.

"Umm is it humming or were there actual lyrics?" Megumin was curious she remembered the songs her mom would sing to her little sister.

"I don't think you'd like it." Kazuma tried deflecting the question it'd be too awkward to sing it while carrying her.

"~Please~" Megumin wanted to know and she was prepared to cause another scene if necessary.

"No."

"Please, please, please, please, please."

"Argh fine." Kazuma didn't want another frog incident.

"April roses, tiny sparrows

Comets bright and new

All belong together

With the mystery that is you

When I see your little face

I hear a song from long ago

I think you know

The many secrets I've forgotten" Kazuma decided to sing just that much hoping that would shut her up.

"Generations through the ages
Joined as one somehow
Leading to the miracle
That I am holding now
From the sky and from the sea
Upon a breeze you came to me
You seem to see
A greater universe than I do" Someone continued and his blood froze.

"Me-Megumin I… I didn't know you knew that lullaby…" He was praying that it was just a common song here.

"That wasn't me Kazuma it was the weird pink-haired lady here," Megumin confessed. 'Why's he so afraid… wait is this… He he he this will be fun.'

"P-P-Pink haired l-l-lady?" Kazuma stuttered. 'So soon how? She's here and I can't just ditch Megumin I'd be caught and likely punished.'

"Howdey Kazuma!" His mother suddenly appeared in front of him. Her cat-like smile made him shudder. 'Whatever you're thinking it's not like that!' she quickly went to 'work' looking him over up and down and poking him in random places.

"See I told you if you just tried a little bit you would grow pretty fast, these clothes and pretty bag but there's no hiding the muscles you've started growing but then again you are your father's son." she leaned in and whispered. "I see you also got his charms huh."

"I-It's not like that!" Kazuma blurted out in embarrassment catching Darkness and Aqua's attention.

"Wha... Whos that?" Darkness asked, watching some girl poke Kazuma. He seemed embarrassed. 'That should be me I can take far more punishment than Kazuma can.'

"I don't know," Aqua replied. She headed to Kazuma's aid hoping maybe he'd give her some of his reward for helping him. "Hey, why are you picking on poor Kazuma?"

"Huh? Nonsense I'm not picking on him I'm just taking some notes on his growth." Washu explained. "Every mother should take an interest in their son's physical and romantic growth."

"ROMANTIC!?" Kazuma and Megumin shrieked in unison.

"MOTHER?" Aqua was confused this wasn't the dark blueish grey-haired woman she saw with his dad.

"Yup yup! I'm Washu Hakubi Masaki the greatest scientist in the whole universe and Kazuma's mother!"