disclaimer: I own nothing

Warning: a dark!fic. Emotional abuse (accidently and intentional) and some violence.

Spoilers: Sanctuary in general and Stargate SG-1, eventually.

Author's Note: My first dark!fic. I decided to go out on a limb with this one and hope you all enjoy it. The beta on this chapter was the narrator on my computer.

Enjoy!

It's time to grow up

And get wise

Come now, little one

Open up your eyes

- Tempest Storm/Emily Blunt 'Open up your Eyes'

Old City, 1978

The building looked like a cathedral, the Gothic architecture at beautiful contrast with the surrounding city. Sky scrapers rose across the river behind it, framing it in steel and glass. The buildings surrounding it were lower and older, in more disrepair.

The building was not, in fact, a place of worship. It was a Sanctuary. Or that was what it was supposed to be. It was for many. But not for the girl that was currently standing inside the actual cathedral part of the building. The sky glared down from holes in the mostly ruined ceiling. Pews, askew, still stood on the floor as if waiting for worshippers. Plants grew around the columns and across the floor. Rubble sat almost neatly. A glass dome offered a view of the sky from levels below ground. The beauty and stillness of the place were lost on the girl.

Instead, she stood in the middle of this open space, her small fists clenched, her blonde hair messy, her blue eyes glaring at the woman that stood a few feet away from her.

The woman was like looking in a mirror that showed her how she would look when she was older. Her facial features were the same. Her eyes were the same shade of blue. Her hair was brunette -dyed that way, however. Her gaze was cold as she regarded her.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" she demanded. "Do not hesitate! Do you think that others are going to stop? Do you think they will care?"

"Like you care?" the girl said, narrowing her eyes.

Her name was Samantha Magnus. She was ten years old, but her eyes said that she had seen and learned things most children her age hadn't. Or shouldn't.

Her mother, Helen Magnus, stared at her, looking wounded by the comment.

"Samantha, of course I care about you. If I didn't, would I be teaching you these things? Would I care what happens to you?" Helen asked, her voice gentle and her accent tipping her voice a little gentler than it actually was.

"Sam." Sam corrected, annoyed.

She liked Sam better than Samantha, she had decided, but her mother continued to insist on calling her Samantha. She had chosen that name for her after all, and there was nothing wrong with it. It probably had to do with her mother's views on things. But it was Sam's first rebellion and she was clinging to it tightly.

Her mother sighed lightly, clearly annoyed.

"It's time that you learned these things, Samantha. You're old enough to understand. I am not going to coddle you."

Sam glared at her. She was fighting a losing battle by arguing and questioning and things like that. But she still wanted to fight it, by simple virtue of fighting. She was starting to question what her mother did. How she was. What she was teaching her.

Helen shifted her stance and gestured at her.

"Again, Samantha."

"You're going to win. What's the point?" Sam said, not moving.

Helen looked skyward for a moment, as if asking some deity for help with her stubborn, rebellious daughter.

"The point is that you learn, darling. One day I expect you to be as good at all this as I am."

That comment -the expectation and the fact those words held more than just their face value- was what spurred Sam forward. She didn't rush her mother. No, that way was madness. She stopped short and they circled each other. It was a perverted mirror image as they circled each other.

Helen Magnus would never make the first move. The fight had to come to her. Sam didn't care. She lunged forward, neatly clipping her mother's ankle. Helen had been teaching her to use her small size to her advantage. And use it Sam would. Even though her mother didn't fall at her hitting her ankle, it unbalanced her enough for sam to press the advantage.

They exchanged blows that were purposefully weakened. Lashed out at each other's weaknesses. It felt good and Sam was ashamed to feel it. But sometimes doing this to her mother was very satisfying. Because so often, she was angry with her mother.

A blow hit Sam enough to make her fall to the ground. She hit the stone and lay there, stunned. If that had been a real fight, she would have been dead. A grip like iron wrapped around her wrist and she was yanked to her feet.

Her mother bent to be eye-to-eye with her.

"What was that, Samantha?" she spat, shaking her a little. "What was that? I've taught you better than that! If it hadn't been me, you would be dead right now. Do you understand that?"

"Yes."

"I wonder if your sister would have been this way." Helen muttered.

Ah yes. Her sister.

Sam was a twin. She had been conceived in the autumn of eighteen-eighty-eight, along with her fraternal twin sister. Sam had no idea how her mother knew they were fraternal and she had never asked. Her mother had said she had frozen their embryos to keep them safe, until she was certain that it was safe. Sam had been an experiment, of sorts. Her mother had been feeling lonely, in short.

She had just lost one of her closest friends. She was lonely. World War ll had been hard on her. So she had chosen one of the embryos, claiming she had been a little afraid of having two newborns at once when she wasn't certain she could be a mother on her own, and carried it to term.

Sam had been that embryo.

Her twin sister was still an embryo, floating in a cryogenic container in the basement of the Sanctuary. Both Sam and Helen visited her often. Neither of them knew that.

"I'm glad she's not here." Sam said, mostly to hurt her mother.

But what she said was true, in part. Sometimes she wished that her sister was with her, so that she wasn't so lonely. Sometimes she was glad that her sister wasn't here to go through this.

Her grip increased. Sam winced, tears welling in her eyes.

"You're hurting me." she whispered.

Helen let go of her wrist as if it had burned her. She took a step back. Sam rubbed her wrist.

"Let me see it, darling. I'm sorry."

Sam wanted to say no. Her mother swung back and forth between aspects of her personality so often, it was frightening. But she was ten years old. And this was her mother.

She extended her arm.

Helen took it and looked at it, running her fingertips gently over the flesh she had just held so tightly. There wouldn't be a bruise, but it still hurt.

"I'm sorry, Samantha."

"I know." Sam whispered.

Helen released Sam's arm and took a step back again. She looked down at her daughter. Sam could see the shift. Back to the bitch, basically.

"You need to learn all of this, Samantha. You know that."

"I know."

"Come."

Her mother gestured for her to follow. Sam trailed her out of the nave. They took the elevator down to the lower levels, to the lab below the glass dome.

"It's time for you to know all of this. For you to learn and understand. You are a part of something much greater than yourself, Samantha. But the fact that you are puts you at even greater risk."

Sam had heard this many times before. As long as she could remember, practically. She didn't need to hear it now. But now that she was ten, her mother had decided that she needed to know more things. That it was time to start teaching her the way of the world. To start grooming her to take over one day. Some of it Sam liked -learning to fight was usually fun. A lot of it scared her, in some ways. Long gone were the days where she could crawl into her mother's bed and express her fear in the middle of the night. Long gone were the days where she wanted to.

They walked into the main lab. The Sanctuary housed all manner of wonderous creatures. Abnormals. Her mother had found them all and brought them here. There were well over twenty such facilities around the world, all owned by her mother and run by those her mother deemed trustworthy.

Sanctuary for all was their motto. Sam didn't see it that way.

She had never felt entirely at home or welcome in any of the Sanctuaries. People talked about how great her mother was for opening the Sanctuaries. For giving safety and homes to the abnormals. Sam thought that her mother enjoyed hunting down and locking up the ones that were considered dangerous. Maybe even the ones that just needed to be safe.

The main lab was ringed by habitats on two levels, filled with abnormals.

"You know why we do this, Samantha." Helen said as they circled the room slowly, looking into the habitats.

Most of the residents liked her very much. She liked them too, but Sam felt like a bit of an outcast from them. She was the one human in a house of wonderous creatures. What some would think were monsters. They were her playmates. Her friends.

"To protect the dominant species of the world from each other." Sam recited dully, drifting towards the mermaid habitat.

The mermaid who lived at the Sanctuary had a name that was impossible to pronounce. Sam had dubbed her 'Sally' when she had been younger, needing to have something to call her friend. Sally had known Sam before she was even born. Sam knew the stories, from both Sally and Helen.

Helen had spent a lot of time with the mermaid during her pregnancy. Sally could touch minds and she had touched Sam's mind when she had been in utero. Sang to her. Sam's earliest memories involved strains of mermaid music.

"Precisely. Imagine what the world would be like if we weren't here."

Sam couldn't, actually, and she glanced up at her mother. Helen smiled slightly at her, running a hand over Sam's blonde hair gently as Sally approached the glass.

"Hello, Sally." Sam said, smiling at the mermaid.

Helen allowed her a few moments with their friend before they started walking around the lab again.

"Do not ever count on anyone else, Samantha. You will only be hurt. It will cost you greatly. And I never want you hurt, my darling." her mother said. "You must rely solely on yourself."

Sam knew that had to go back to her father. Who had betrayed and hurt her mother deeply by being the most notorious serial killer in the world. Sam wasn't supposed to know about that -she had heard her mother and godfather talking about it one day. It may have also been caused by her grandfather disappearing and her mother never knowing what had happened to him.

"Does that mean I shouldn't count on you?" Sam asked cheekily.

A question like that could trigger her mother's anger in the blink of an eye. She was risking a lot by saying it. But she was fed up with her mother and she wanted to push it.

"Oh, you can always count on me. I'm your mother." Helen smiled at Sam as she said this.

"What about the Heads of Houses?" Sam asked, hoping if she expressed enough interest this lecture might die.

"You can trust them with tasks, but you will always have to oversee and monitor the Network. But that will not be for a very long time."

Sam bit back a question about if that were true, why did she have to learn it now. She knew where the boundries were. She wasn't going to skip across them today. They walked out of the lab and were heading towards the SHU, to check on the residents there. Helen made the rounds pretty much every day. Sam didn't usually join her, but she liked doing it. When her mother was in a good mood. Which wasn't often.

She didn't want to be doing this. But she was ten and this was her mother and she had questions. So Sam asked them.

"Mum..." She trailed off for a moment. "What if they don't respect me like they do you?"

"Why wouldn't they respect you?"

"Because I'm not like the rest of you. I'm human, not abnormal."

"Being human is one of the greatest gifts you have, Samantha." Helen said, eyes going distant. "Unfortunately, my beautiful girl, being a woman is not."

This was different than the usual 'you can do anything you can put your mind to' lecture and Sam looked at her mother. She didn't know a huge amount of things about her mother's past. Her mother dribbled out information, seeming to guard things and want to share them at the same time.

"I believe I was born in the wrong century. And the right one at the same time. I needed to be where I was to do all of this. But the world wasn't ready for a woman like me. Now I'm worried I've had you in the wrong decade."

Helen took Sam's hand and squeezed it. This was a surprise gesture of motherly affection and Sam nearly jerked back from it, thinking of how tightly that hand had squeezed her arm less than an hour ago. But she had learned a long time ago to accept them when they came.

"You also have my genes. There is every chance that what's in my blood can be triggered for you. You do not have to stay human if you do not wish. But you are not old enough to worry about that or make a decision."

"What do you mean you didn't have me in the right decade?" Sam asked, wanting to revisit this for a few moments.

"You have fire. Perhaps even more than me. You question and explore. You are incredibly smart. I didn't want you to go through the struggles that I went through. I spent so long trying to find a place among the men. Among the humans. It took a very long time for me to let that go. It was a childish belief that such a thing was possible." Helen's voice turned bitter, anger twisting her tone and the look in her eyes.

That was something that Sam was very used to. She had been used to it for as long as she could remember. Her mother had been like this for as long as anyone in the Sanctuary could remember. Sam had never asked why. There didn't seem to be a reason. She just was this way.

"Why?" Sam asked, a little annoyed that Helen thought she would turn out just like her.

"Samantha." Helen sounded scolding and sad at the same time. "Men will never accept you, not as they should."

"You don't know that. I'm not you."

"You are like me. And that is how men are towards women that threaten them. We have to be everything they expect us to be. And when we are, they are threatened by it. You can handle what they can, of course, but they will never believe it."

This was a lesson that Helen had been drilling into Sam's head much more gently until now. Sam wondered if her mother wanted her to despise men. Was that really how the world worked? How it would always work? Was she destined to be dismissed and scorned simply because she had been born female?

"Uncle James isn't like that." she said sullenly. "The Big Guy isn't."

"James maintains certain beliefs from our era. Even about me."

There was no arguing with Helen when she was in this mood. Sam had tried to accept it, but it was hard. She wanted to argue. She had so many thoughts and questions and things like that. But she thought back to the children at school. Her mother sent her to the best school in the district, so she would have the best education. It wasn't the boys that Sam had the biggest problem with. It was the girls. The girls hated her, even though the boys could be jerks. Though she could usually put them in their place when they were. Was that what her mother meant?

They walked to the glass side of one of the habitats in the SHU. The creature inside was hard to see, but Sam knew it was there. They stood at the railing. There was a drop between the habitat and the railing, in case the abnormal escaped, though Sam was pretty sure that it could clear that gap easily.

"What if I don't want this, Mum?" she asked quietly as they watched the flickers of movement in the habitat.

"This is your inheritance, Samantha. Your duty to what your grandfather started and what I've built."

The dismissiveness of the tone hurt Sam. The fact that it was expected of her. That her mother didn't give her the choice. Sam hadn't told her, but she wanted to be an astronaut. She wanted to be able to study space and explore the stars. Helen didn't seem interested in that part of science. Helen seemed to sense at least part of what Sam was feeling.

She leaned on the railing, facing Sam.

"I am giving you a gift. The abnormal world will be yours one day."

"To control or protect?"

Helen smiled slightly, her lips curving upward into an expression that didn't look all that friendly.

"Why not both?"

Those words were a little chilling, but it wasn't anything Sam wasn't used to and they just washed over her without causing her to feel much of anything. Helen spread a hand towards the habitat that they were looking at, as the huge, lumbering abnormal came into view and bared its teeth at them.

"These creatures are dangerous. Some of the most lethal in the world. In all of our Sanctuaries. All of them are there because I gave the order. Some I caught myself. Few in the world can say that. I want that for you."

Control and protection, in her mother's eyes, went hand in hand and were sometimes the same thing. Her mother's smile had lingered. She looked at the creature with a strange look in her eyes. She was far away right now, her lips parting slightly as she stared. The abnormal slunk back into the plants of its habitat.

Sam thought to slip away now, but she knew that there would be some consequences if she left before her mother was done with her. Her mother's anger was a fearsome thing. She knew to pick her moments in awakening it.

She glanced back at the habitat. She had yet to help capture an abnormal or anything like that. Her mother had deemed her too young. Would she feel the same thing her mother did when she did it? Would she feel power and dominance? And enjoy it? Sam wanted to say that wasn't who she was, but she knew that she was her mother's daughter. Sometimes she liked that. Other times it scared her.

"Can't I do something else, if I want to?" she pressed cautiously. "Until it's time for me to take over?"

Sam made sure to quickly tack that on to the end of her sentence. And who knew. Maybe one day she would want all of this. But right now, she wanted to dream and go beyond the Sanctuaries and do her own thing. It would be a long time before she had to take over for her mother. Did her mother expect her to stay here for that amount of time?

Helen gave her a pitying look, snapping back to reality.

"Fantasies will only get you so far in life, Samantha. You need to start growing up."

Sam nodded, feeling subdued. Helen pushed away from the railing. She tilted Sam's chin up so that she looked at her. Sam met her mother's blue eyes, copies of her own.

"I'm going out later. You'll come with me."

Helen squeezed Sam's chin gently and walked away, leaving her standing alone.

XXXXXXX

Going out later was not as simple as Sam had expected it to be. She walked into her mother's office later that evening to find Helen and the Big Guy in debate, bordering on an argument.

Sam lingered in the doorway, not sure what to do. The Big Guy was probably the closest she'd ever had to a father. Her Uncle James didn't count. But the Big Guy had been at the Sanctuary since her mother had removed several bullets from him in fifty-one and he had refused to leave. Helen had given him the position of her butler since he wouldn't leave. He was usually the one that could reason with her and get through to her, even in her blackest moods.

He had never told Sam his real name, but he had been helping care for her since she had been a baby. Helen called him her 'old friend'. Sam thought that was strange, considering that she didn't really think that her mother had friends, other than Uncle James. He babysat her on the days and nights when abnormals and the Sanctuary took Helen away.

Now he was arguing against Helen's decision to bring Sam with her tonight.

"She is a child." the Big Guy said, grunting in disapproval.

"She needs to learn all of this. It won't be dangerous. Would I take her with me if there was a chance of her getting hurt?"

Despite all of Helen's short-comings and strange childrearing methods, Sam knew she would never put her in danger purposefully. That would probably be in a few years, when she was old enough for such a thing.

"Fifth Ward is dangerous after dark."

"And Samantha will be with me. She'll be fine. We're simply meeting David."

"David." The Big Guy growled. "Not a good man."

"He respects me. He won't harm me or my daughter."

"She is young. I'll watch her. You go."

"She needs to start understanding how the world works. We cannot keep shielding her. She needs to know that life is dangerous. And how to protect herself from that danger."

"Nothing wrong with innocence." the Big Guy growled.

"She cannot remain innocent forever, old friend. She needs to learn before she's hurt for not knowing."

They hadn't noticed Sam, so she was able to stand there and listen. She thought that they both had valid points. And she was actually looking forward to going with her mother tonight. Despite her attitude towards all of this, Sam did want to experience it. She just didn't want it to be the only experience she ever had. She had been begging to be allowed to come with her mother for years. Now she was taking her with her.

"Wait."

Helen reached out and covered the Big Guy's hand with her own.

"You have to see things how I do. The sooner she learns, the better. The safer she will be."

The Big Guy grunted. He may have understood what Helen was saying, but he didn't have to like it or be happy about it.

"Ask her."

He had known she was there the entire time, Sam realized. He must have been able to smell her. It was why she had never been able to sneak away from him very easily. Or sneak up on him.

The Big Guy moved back so that Helen could get a full view of Sam. She was worried for a moment that Helen might be angry with her for standing in the doorway and listening instead of announcing herself. That was not lady-like behavior. And Helen had drilled into Sam that she needed to act like a lady. But this time she didn't look angry.

"Well? Do you wish to come with me, Samantha? If you don't-"

"I want to!" Sam cut over her mother without meaning to.

Helen smiled almost indulgently at her. It was almost strange.

"Then come you will." Helen stood and rounded the desk. "Take care of the late night feedings, please." she added to the Big Guy.

Helen walked towards Sam and paused. She smiled down at Sam and stroked a hand down Sam's ponytail.

"I just need to change. We can meet at the car."

Helen departed. Sam turned towards the Big Guy once she was gone.

"You're not happy." she stated, walking towards him.

"You're too young." his voice still sounded like a growl, but Sam knew the difference between his regular voice and his growls.

"I'm not a baby anymore. I can do this. She's finally letting me. It's just talking to some guy in an alley."

"Mmm. Still don't like it."

Sam looked up at him.

"I'll be careful. I promise. Mum will protect me."

She always protected Sam, no matter what. The Big Guy knew that.

"Take knife." he advised.

Sam tapped her forearm. She had the small knife her mother had gifted her with a few weeks earlier strapped to it. She was learning how to conceal weapons very well.

"Good girl."

Sam grinned at the praise and then threw her arms around him. He didn't return the hug, but she didn't mind. It wasn't his way, after all.

Most people thought he was very intimidating. He was tall, big, and didn't look human. His kind were the reason that stories about bigfoot existed. He could be dangerous -Sam knew that. But he would never hurt her or anyone else in the Sanctuary. He viewed protecting them as his duty.

"See you later, Biggie." she said, letting go.

He slapped her gently over the back of the head. He only did that with the people he loved. Not her mother, of course. But Sam was a child under his care. 'Biggie' was the name she had dubbed him with when she had been learning to speak. No one else used it. Sam liked that he accepted the name she had given him as something special.

"Later." he agreed.

Sam smiled at him and practically skipped out of the room, looking forward to what was coming next.

XXXXXX

Sam was a little annoyed that she had to sit in the back seat in the car. But her mother wouldn't let her sit in the front, even though she was tall for her age. So Sam sat in the back, her eagerness not truly deterred by this. Her mother was finally taking her along and nothing was going to change how she was feeling.

Helen's lecturing had continued in the car. It was gentler than before and Sam was wondering what had triggered her mother to be more gentle. Helen was full of triggers. Some things triggered the good. Some things triggered the bad.

Sam was already unbuckling her seatbelt when her mother parked on the edge of the street. She stayed in her seat, though she was eager to jump out of the car. But she waited as Helen twisted in her seat to face her.

"Stay with me, Samantha. Do not speak out of turn. Stay behind me. And watch yourself."

Sam nodded. Helen smiled at her and got out of the car.

Sam followed her, stepping out on to the damp street. It was very dark out. This part of the city didn't have the best lighting or anything like that. Old City was notorious for being unlawful and in bad repair. New City, gleaming in the distance, seemed to gloat over that.

She dutifully followed Helen down the street. She had no idea where they were going, exactly, but she wasn't going to question. She was afraid that if she did the wrong thing, her mother wouldn't give her the opprotunity to come again. Questions were burning on the tip of Sam's tongue, but she managed to keep them inside. She stayed close to her mother, half a step to the side and one step behind her.

They walked half a block before Helen turned into a wide alley. Things were worse here. There were puddles everywhere, dumpsters that were nearly overflowing, and heaps of junk. Sam wrinkled her nose at this, but looked around as they walked, keeping an eye out for anything potentially dangerous. Despite this, the hulking shadow that emerged from another branch of the alley startled her.

"Magnus." the man said, voice slick and unsettling.

"David." Helen said.

Sam halted just behind Helen, her skin crawling at the sound of his voice. The man wasn't really anything more than a shadow to her right now, but there was something about him that was unsettling. She could see what the Big Guy had meant when he had said he wasn't a good man. You could tell that just by being around him.

David moved closer, tossing back the hood of his coat and letting Sam get a look at him. He was very tall and had dark hair. He looked normal, but when he blinked, Sam saw a second layer of eyelids go horizontally across his eyes. She wasn't certain what sort of abnormal that was and now wasn't the time to ask. He smiled at Sam.

"Who is this pretty little thing?" he asked.

"My daughter. Samantha." Helen said.

David looked her over.

"Samantha. Hello."

"Hello." Sam said, raising her chin and staring him down.

This seemed to amuse David. He turned his gaze to Helen again, his smile fading as he slid his hands into his pockets.

"She looks just like you. She's going to drive the men wild like you do, Magnus."

Sam didn't respond to that. Helen shifted slightly, seeming restless.

"We're not here to talk about that. The information, David. If you would."

David shrugged his shoulders, looking casual. But Sam noticed that he was tense.

"Did you bring my payment?" he asked.

"Of course."

Sam didn't see what Helen handed the taller man, but a part of her suspected that it wasn't money. She had no idea what it was. But the way that David's body language changed when he received it, she suspected that it was something that he wanted very much. Or needed. Or both. She listened closely as her mother and David discussed a shipment of abnormals that would be coming through Old City on their way to a rich man who wanted them as pets.

Sam was disgusted by this. Abnormals were rare and most of them were harmless. For them to be captured and trafficked so that a rich jerk could have them as pets was sick. She tightened her hand into a fist. When David said something, something shifted between him and her mother. Sam had no idea what it was, but she shifted, ready to pull her knife out if she needed to. Her heart had been going faster than usual since they had stepped into the alley. There was danger here and it was balanced on a very thin edge.

"Thank you, David. You've been very helpful." Helen said.

David smiled in a way that made Sam's skin crawl.

"Haven't I? Perhaps you'd like to...show me your appreciation?" he said.

"Most certainly."

Helen suddenly lashed her arm out. She moved too fast for Sam to register what she had done when she did it.

Warm liquid splattered across Sam's face in a copper scented spray. A gaping, dark line had appeared on David's throat. His hands flew to it as he staggered and then fell to his knees. The gunshot that felled him deafened Sam and the flash dazzled her eyes.

Shock was running hot and cold through Sam's body and her heart was really pounding as her eyes readjusted. Helen was bending over David, but she turned away from him, tucking her gun back into the small of her back. Sam had no idea where the knife had gone, but she didn't care. She was shaking as she stared up at her mother.

Helen's face was splattered with blood as well and her eyes were alight, a small smile teasing the corner of her mouth. The smile vanished as her eyes landed on Sam.

Sam took a step back as her mother approached her and knelt in front of her.

"It's all right, Samantha. It's all right."

Sam couldn't speak. She was shaking hard, unable to fully register that her mother had just murdered a man in front of her. Had just murdered a man and enjoyed it.

Helen reached up with a blood soaked hand and cupped Sam's cheek, stroking her thumb across the skin gently as she used the other to brush hair behind Sam's ear. A tear ran down Sam's face as she stared into her mother's eyes.

"It's all right, darling. I promise."

Author's Note: This entire fanfiction was inspired by the song 'Open Up Your Eyes' from the My Little Pony movie. Yeah. But oh, it's so dark. I recommend listening to it to get a better since of this story, but it's not necessary.

This will be a slow update and the story will cover many years. Also know nothing about the seventies, so this era may seem off.

Questions, comments, and criticism are all welcome at any time.

Please review!