"What you doing here?"
Naruto looks up from his glass into the eyes of the last person he'd expect to run into out here— in a no name bar in no where Earth Country. On his way back from a month long assignment in the Land of Flowers. After so long without seeing a familiar face, it's disorienting.
Add that to the fact that he hasn't seen Sasuke in more than two years… he finds himself—
"Speechless, dobe?" Sasuke smirks, taking the stool next to Naruto's at the counter, "It's good look on you, I have to admit."
"Shut up, asshole," Naruto huffs, unable to smoother the grin twitching at the corners of his mouth, turning back to his drink as Sasuke waves down the bartender, "What are you doing here? Don't tell me there's some weird-ass clue about Kaguya's clan way out here—"
Sasuke is already shaking his head, surprising Naruto into silence.
"No," Sasuke says, perfectly calm, like he and Naruto run into each other every other day, "I was looking for you."
"Looking for me?" Naruto sputters, coughing into his drink, "Here? Why not just come to Konoha—?"
"I did," Sasuke frowns as the barhop places a carafe of steaming sake in front of him, "Stayed a whole week even, waiting for you to get back— but it seems you decided to take your sweet time. Which brings me back to my question— what are you doing here?"
"I was on a mission," Naruto reminds him a little defensively, even to his own ears.
"Kakashi received your final mission report two weeks ago," Sasuke says, calling his bluff, "You were expected back for debrief six days ago."
"… So what? Is it a crime to take the scenic route all of a sudden?" Naruto asks, scowling into his drink as he pulls it closer.
"Perhaps not," Sasuke says as he pours a swig of hot sake into a saucer, "But it might be a bit irresponsible under the circumstances."
"Circumstances?"
Naruto nearly jumps out of his seat as Sasuke's hand slams against the wooden bar top, just beside his elbow. When his hand lifts away after a moment, it leaves a glaringly familiar stationary behind.
A wedding invitation.
Naruto shrinks away under the intensity of Sasuke's glare.
"So are you going to explain?" Sasuke asks pointedly.
"Explain what?"
"Why you're holed up in some shitty bar," Sasuke says sharply, "When you're supposed to be getting married in two days."
Naruto takes a sip of his drink to cover up whatever his face might be doing, "… I was gonna be back in time."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I just needed to— I dunno. Think."
"How out of character for you."
"Ha ha. Dick."
"I'm being serious," Sasuke corrects him mildly, "It isn't like you to think before jumping into something. I'm not judging though. You make recklessness work irritatingly well, I have to admit."
Naruto sighs.
"This is different," he admits.
Sasuke says nothing, a silent encouragement to continue.
"… I just—" Naruto cringes, "I'm having trouble wrapping my head around all this, I guess."
"What do you mean?"
"Why do you even care?" Naruto snorts, shaking his head. "Like you were even going to come."
"I'm here aren't I?"
"Yeah, but why?"
"I asked you a question first."
"I never agreed to be interrogated, ya know!"
"No one ever agrees to be interrogated, you realize."
"Well— I'm not obligated to cooperate."
"Suit yourself," Sasuke shrugs, "We can sit here in silence, if you'd prefer."
… Damn him. If there was one thing Naruto couldn't stomach, it was silted silence. Naruto had never been particularly good at shutting up when he should, especially concerning this man. C'mon— they hadn't seen each other in literal years.
What was he supposed to do?
Sasuke likely expect him to break sooner than later, but Naruto would show him. He wasn't a seventeen year old kid with little in the way of self restraint anymore, and that bastard should know better than to challenge him by now anyway.
The silence stretches on, and yeah, maybe the tension of it itches at Naruto's brain something fierce and the urge to spew his every passing though proves difficult to ignore, but ignore them Naruto does. Outwardly content to sip his beer and eyeball the way Sasuke is knocking back rashers of Sasuke like he does this sort of thing every night.
Hell, maybe he does? How the heck would Naruto know?
The thought puts a decent damper on his burgeoning good mood. Sure, he'd stopped by this joint on a whim, hoping to drown these self pitying doubts in the oblivion of alcohol. But in the face of Sasuke's arrival, even as much of a pain in the ass he'd been so far, it was hard not to let his eager excitement bleed into the melancholy, at least a little bit.
Until he's faced with the consequences of their ongoing estrangement, that is.
Ugh.
He just really needed to get out of his head for a bit— and here Sasuke had to go and ruin even that.
"You don't actually have to get married you know."
But then, Sasuke has to go and surprise him by breaking their silence first, and causing Naruto to spew his drink all over the sticky bar top while he was at it. Naruto doesn't even know how to react to something like that. Normal its him dragging conversation out of his friend, kicking and screaming often being involved.
"Okay, but I kinda do?" Naruto says, after wiping the splatter of lukewarm beer from his chin as Sasuke looks on with blatant judgment in his gaze, "I mean, Hinata and I dated for like— a year? And it was going, I dunno, fine? It was okay. Good— it was good. But people just kinda kept asking. Everyone wanted to know when we were gonna take the next step like it was obvious or something and I guess maybe it was but I just— got swept up in it? This is what were supposed to do, right? That's what everyone says."
Sasuke taps his fingers against the wood, looking pensive, "Since when does everyone know what's best, hm?"
"Listen— are you trying to make me feel better about all this or not?" Naruto pouts, slamming back the dregs of his drink, "Isn't that why you're here?"
Sasuke looks at him. All intense-like as he does sometimes— like he's trying to say something with his eyes rather than his words— the taciturn bastard, "I never said that."
"Eh?" Naruto cocks his head, curious, "Really? I could have sworn—"
"Well, you're wrong," Sasuke shrugs, "I don't actually care if you get married or not, you know."
Naruto can't help but snort at that, "You might be the only one."
"Hm?" Sasuke's visible brow raises in that awful way, like he's baiting Naruto and he knows it— and he knows Naruto knows he knows it. It's the worst.
"No no— I told you," Naruto waves him off, before signaling for the barkeep for a refill, "I don't want to talk about it, remember?"
"Alright then," Sasuke turns away, taking his stupid, intense eye with him.
"… Good," Naruto nods, feeling oddly sullen about the whole thing, "Since we've gotten that out of the way— wanna get drunk?"
"… Is that a common occurrence for you?" Sasuke asks, tone heavy with judgment.
Naruto ignores him. "Only when I can convince Kurama to let me, y'know. And he's feeling oddly sympathetic tonight, as it turns out."
"… Fine," Sasuke scoffs, also gesturing for the bartender, "But you'll need to something stronger than that piss water if you want to do it right."
It's… more fun than expected. Sasuke never really seemed the type to enjoy something like this— just dicking around, being stupid with his friends. He's always been so serious— about everything. Naruto wouldn't have even thought the man capable of kicking back and letting loose, and while that isn't what Sasuke does, per se, something about his friend definitely lightens. He can't pin point what it is exactly, as Sasuke downs yet another mouthful of the high quality sake he insists on them drinking— even though it tastes like Sakura's nail polish remover, if Naruto's being honest.
And sure, maybe it's his Sasuke-googles talking, but everything just seems better with Sasuke around. The lights are brighter, the sounds of the bar less oppressive. The looming terror of the commitment he's about to make doesn't seem quite so ever present— pushed back to the corners of his mind by Sasuke's stupid smug face when it twitches into something that is nearly a smile. The almost playful glint in Sasuke's visible eye as he continues to ply Naruto with an ever increasing volume of alcohol. Even the horrible sake doesn't taste that bad, when he's sharing it with Sasuke.
It isn't until Sasuke laughs at something Naruto said, spilling his drink in the process, that Naruto realizes they've actually gone and gotten themselves drunk. Not obscenely so, but enough to loosen both of them up enough to overcome any residual awkwardness from their conversation before.
And Naruto can almost forget why he'd dragged himself into this shitty bar in the first place.
"You know," Sasuke says, suddenly, after countless rounds of his garbage sake, "If we're being honest… I do care, I suppose."
"Care?" Naruto scoffs, trying to collect the shards of his attention span enough to recall their conversation up until now, "Care about what?"
"Your marriage," Sasuke says, like it should have been obvious or something, "Of course I fucking care. I didn't drag my ass across half the continent twice to usher your nuptials along though. Please."
… Because god forbid Naruto be able to wallow in something other than his nerves for one goddamn evening. Of course Sasuke just had to go and remind him of all that. What a dick.
"You are such an, asshole— oh my god," Naruto bemoans, "God forbid you break a sweat to help me out for once."
"I help you all the time," Sasuke insists, strangely vehement— though that was probably the alcohol making itself known, "It's literally the only thing I do anymore."
"How do you figure, huh?" Naruto laughs, "You're never even around!"
"As if I need to glue myself to you to make sure this peace you insisted upon sticks around," Sasuke hums, as if to himself as much as Naruto, "To make sure kids aren't treated the way we were. To make sure things change for the better. You're the one who taught me that, you know."
"But— but what about other stuff? My whole life isn't just Konoha, ya know! What if I wanted your help with— I dunno. Picking out curtains?"
"Curtains? Really?"
"Maybe!" Naruto huffs, throwing up his hands, "Or if I need to talk to someone about the genin team Kakashi-sensei wants me to take, or about the stupid hoops the dicks on the council are making me jump through this week, or about how Hinata's dad hinted at me for months that if I wasn't planning on marrying her I'd be better off just breaking up with her because for crying out loud I guess it's not worth being together just because we're happy or anything. It's about commitment and the future of the village and there's really no other reason to bother with someone like me if it isn't going somewhere her clan can take advantage of, ya know!"
"… All that really happened?" Sasuke asks, sounding a little dumbfounded— which is gratifying, in an of itself.
"Yes!" Naruto continues, riding the high of having his friend on the back foot for once, "And Sakura—chan— no. No one got it, when I tried to tell them. They didn't see any reason not to propose. I'm mean, she's a nice girl, from an important family, and wants to do nothing else but support me and make me happy for the rest of our lives so why not? Even if I don't know what I want yet— so what? It made sense so why not just— just do it? What was I scared of, huh?
"If it didn't make sense to you, why do it?" Sasuke asks, unfairly astute for someone who's consumed as much alcohol has he has this evening, "What were you scared of?"
"I don't know!" Naruto practically wails, feeling a little frantic "It just felt like such a big decision to make and the answer seemed to obvious to everyone else I just— did it. And it's probably gonna be fine. I know that. I shouldn't be feeling like this. We'll get married. Probably have a couple kids. I'll become Hokage and Hinata will lead her clan and do missions and teach our kids how to be great ninjas and it'll be fine. I don't know what I'm so worried about."
Sasuke looks less than impressed, staring at Naruto like he's lost his damn mind, "But will you be happy?"
That stops Naruto's spiraling train of thought right in its tracks.
"What?"
Sasuke snorts, "Happy, idiot. I didn't hear anything about that in your little rant."
"You didn't?"
Shaking his head, Sasuke sighs— sounding very put upon, "Marriage isn't just about commitment and obligations and checking off boxes, moron. It's two people choosing to walk through life together because they make each other better— because they can't imagine not being with each other and want to share that experience with one another for the rest of their lives. All those other things you said just come along with that."
It's Naruto's turn to stare at Sasuke like he's grown a second head— which he might as well have.
"… Since when do you have so many opinions about something like this?" Naruto asks, folding his arms across and trying to wrap his mind around it— Sasuke being so effusive about marriage of all things, "You've never seemed very interested in marriage or family stuff before. Or hell— even relationships. I mean, Sakura-chan has been trying to convince you to let her tag along on your travels for years and yet—
"Ugh. Don't remind me," Sasuke groans, rubbing his head like he's got a headache coming on, "She was on my case all week about that. It doesn't change the fact that I'm not capable of giving her what she wants. I'm just waiting for her to see that."
"… What do you think she wants?" Naruto asks— because he can be astute too, dammit.
"Not much, honestly," Sasuke says with a frown, "I know that."
"Then what's the big deal?" Naruto fires back, "Why can't you give it to her?"
"Shouldn't I want to?" Sasuke asks, gaze sliding toward the ceiling, as it has the answer's he's looking for, "Isn't that the basis for a relationship, at the minimum?"
"… Yeah, I guess," Naruto concedes, despite not really understanding.
It's not something that had ever occurred to him, if he's being honest. Hinata had made her interest known and he'd just… accepted it for the sake of it. Thinking about what he wanted hadn't really seemed important at the time.
"Anyway," Sasuke seems to shake himself, refocusing on Naruto as if his attention hadn't drifted at all, "You're one to talk."
Naruto scowls at that, "At least I'm in a relationship though."
"Because you want to be," Sasuke points out, inadvertantly hitting just a little too close to Naruto's already conflicted thoughts.
"And you don't?" Naruto asks, steering them away from that particular minefield, "Like not even with Sakura-chan— just a relationship at all?"
"… Of course I do."
Naruto's building indignation screeches to a halt.
"What? Really?" Naruto blinks, only then realizing he had been expecting a very different answer.
"Yes," Sasuke huffs, glancing at Naruto's face and then away again, very quickly— quick enough Naruto might have missed completely it if he weren't so accustomed to following his friend's eyeline— as a force of habit, "You think just because I made the choice to travel in order to serve my purpose that I'm immune to loneliness?"
"Um, well," Naruto fumbles, not expecting such forthrightness from someone like Sasuke— who getting to talk about his feelings felt like pulling teeth most of the time, "Yeah, kinda?"
Sasuke rolls his eyes with a scoff, "Idiot."
"What?" Naruto scoffs and rolls his eyes right back, "I seriously thought you liked it better that way, ya know!"
"Well, I don't. Moron."
"Then why not find someone?" Naruto asks, a little wild and a lot flabbergasted by the turn their conversation had taken, all of a sudden, "Even if it isn't Sakura-chan— you shouldn't have to be lonely if you don't want to be. That's terrible!"
"It isn't that simple," Sasuke shrugs, though despite his projected nonchalance, it comes across more resigned than anything else.
"Like hell it isn't!"
Because the idea that Sasuke would be resigned to spending his life alone despite his desire not to is just… just unacceptable.
"You're hardly one to preach about simplicity, in your situation," Sasuke glares at him, that vague impression of melancholy evaporating a bit.
"… That's fair, I guess," Naruto offers— very magnanimously, in his opinion, "But if you were in a relationship, what would that look even look like? What do you want?"
"… I don't want to discuss about this anymore," Sasuke says, everything vulnerable in his face abruptly closing off— causing Naruto to realize only too late just how open Sasuke had been up until that point. And he instantly regrets whatever he said to prompt that change, "We aren't here to talk about my relationship or lack there of. We were talking about the impending marriage you seem determined to avoid thinking about until the last possible moment, remember?
"Ugh, shut up," Naruto grouses, still tangled up in the moment he'd allowed to slip by them, desperate to figure Sasuke's strange mood out once and for all, "I don't want to talk about that either. Why is this shit so hard?"
When Sasuke looks at him this time, there's something significant and heavy in his gaze that Naruto recognizes, even if he doesn't understand it, "I don't think this is supposed to be the hard part, Naruto."
"What does that mean?"
"… Never mind," Sasuke grumbles, like he's disappointed in Naruto or something— which is ridiculous, honestly. If anyone should be disappointed here, it's Naruto— having to put up with this evasive bastard, "I don't know how to explain it to someone who doesn't even know what it means to get married."
"… Asshole," Naruto grunts, for lack of better response.
As if he weren't already plenty aware of his own shortcomings in that area. Didn't mean Sasuke had to be a dick about it though.
Sasuke waves him off anyway before making to pour them two fresh rashers of long cooled sake, "Let's just talk about something else."
"Like what?" Naruto hums, "What do we even have to talk about anymore, really?"
"What did we ever have to talk about?" Sasuke asks, sliding Naruto his saucer, "All you ever did was jabber on about ramen and the meaning of friendship."
"Hey!" Naruto protests on reflex alone, "As if you ever talked about anything other than getting stronger and your big scary plans for world domination, ya know! You were so much worse than me, y'know."
"… Some best friends we are," Sasuke acknowledges with a smirk.
"Oi— don't say that!" Naruto yelps, despite knowing Sasuke likely wasn't serious— probably.
"Seems like an accurate assessment to me," Sasuke shrugs, throwing back his sake.
"… That's not— that can't be right," Naruto fumes, "We're friends."
"Hardly. By the barest definition, maybe."
"Well, maybe if you were around more—"
"You know why—"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah— I know," Naruto sneers, abnormally peeved by what he's pretty sure is just Sasuke being a contrary asshole.
Naruto turns away, just to be contrary right back. He swirls the sake on its little dish, glowering down at it like it's the source of all his woes.
Out of the corner of his eye, something seems to shift— again— in Sasuke's expression. The confrontational set to Sasuke's shoulders settling a bit into something less rigid and more… conciliatory.
"… It wasn't all that bad you know," Sasuke says, softer— and Naruto detects the distinct tinge of remorse in his tone.
Which is… weird. But it's nice to know Sasuke's at least trying. They don't have much experience with this sort of thing, after all.
Naruto sighs, deciding to accept the olive branch offered, "I know."
"I'm serious," Sasuke huffs.
"I know."
"Do you?"
"Sure," Naruto shrugs, "Why not?"
That doesn't seem to appease Sasuke in the slightest, if the way his jaw sets in any indication.
"I believed you," Sasuke says, "When you said being my friend was about feeling my pain as your own. You showed me what that means. I'm sorry I haven't been there to return the favor."
Naruto blinks, blatantly startled by Sasuke's words.
"It's fine," he feels the need to reassure, "I really do understand you, y'know."
"… I know," Sasuke echoes, determined all of a sudden, "But I understand you, too. Which means I know you're, hm— not lying. But you're still not being honest with yourself. Or me."
"Huh?"
"I understand you're an idiot, and need things spelled out for you sometimes."
"… Like what?"
"… Like the fact that you taught me things about myself I never even wanted to know," Sasuke says, with an earnestness Naruto doesn't think he's ever seen in his friend before, "How now matter how much I professed wanting to be alone in the process of achieving my goals, that wasn't what I needed. How I had people I cared about, even if I had done my best to push them all away, over and over again. I hated that you made me face things like that about myself, but I can't imagine who I'd be now, if you hadn't. I don't even like to think about it."
It's… a lot. Sasuke's words are a lot, out of no where and Naruto is struggling to keep up. They'd never really talked about any of that, after all. Once it was all said in done. Seemingly both content to let the dust settle on that torrent of pain and emotion they'd dredged up in the wake of their conflict. Naruto doesn't know what to do with it, in a place like this. A seedy little bar, in no where land, Earth Country. With the bustle of unsuspecting patrons muffling their conversation from prying ears, and the thrum of a minor buzz in their veins.
And then Sasuke looks away— just for a brief moment. Only to look back at Naruto, glancing up through his lashes in a charged, lingering way that throws Naruto for a vicious loop.
Naruto narrows his eyes, doing his best to rewind their conversation thus far. Trying to piece together what that look means— and how the hell they got here. Why? Why did Sasuke hunt him down, two days before his wedding, just to— what? Alternatively berate and compliment him? None of it adds up— throw in Sasuke's frankly bewildering behavior and Naruto finds himself practically at a loss for words.
In the back of his mind, Kurama chuckles menacingly.
He can feel the effects of the copious beer and sake he's consumed burning away, under the fox's meddling influence.
Rather than piss him off, it steels Naruto's resolve. Something like anticipation sizzles beneath his skin, like the static in the air before a thunder storm— or more accurately, lightning, in this case.
He was going to get to the bottom of this, one way or another— Sasuke's hot and cold mood be damned.
"… Okay," Naruto says, "Okay, what else?"
"… What do you mean, what else?" Sasuke scowls at him, feeling his nose scrunch in irritation, "Tch— Isn't all that enough for you?"
When he'd decided to corner Naruto in this oil slick of a tavern, this isn't how he had imagined their conversation would go. Not that he'd had any particular expectations, per se. But still— it had been more desperation that had driven him to this point rather than any grand plan.
And now, amongst the throngs of patrons and the baffling smell of vinegar, Sasuke does his damnedest to reorient himself. But the burn of alcohol in his veins makes it difficult— why he had insisted on buying them drinks of such a high proof for their little sojourn with alcoholism, he has no idea— and is sorely regretting his choices. All of them. Every single one that has led him to this point. His thoughts feel muddled. Restraint a distant memory that he misses like a… well, a lost limb.
He is walking a dangerous line here, he knows. But at the same time, that was the point. To cross that line, at long last.
He just… he just needs to know.
"I mean, you said it yourself— I'm slow," Naruto is saying, cavalier as anything, as if Sasuke hadn't just bared a sliver of his soul, "So now's your chance— what else do I need spelled out for me? Or was that really all of it?"
"Of course not," Sasuke scoffs, "The number of things you don't know could probably fill a library. And then a few annexes on top of that."
"Yeah, yeah," Naruto snickers, unbothered by Sasuke's teasing, "So tell me about them, why don't you?"
"… Alright," Sasuke frowns, squaring his shoulders in the face of the gauntlet Naruto has decided to throw down— that was the point of all this, wasn't it? To clear the air between them at long last, "In the same vein— you have a way with words that is honestly baffling. For someone with the vocabulary of an illiterate caveman, you always manage to say just the thing someone needs to hear. You deserve to have someone do the same for you for once."
Words cannot adequately describe just how much it pains him to say it all out loud— but in that sense, the alcohol makes it easier. To dull the tightly wound tangle of emotions and thoughts that have been lingering behind his lips for… for years. Distancing him from the stalwart sense of pride and reticence that has dogged his steps for far too long.
"Oh yeah—" Naruto laughs, sounding annoyingly charmed, "Tell me more about my awesome oratory skills."
"Oratory?" Sasuke quips, taking a pointed sip of his sake.
"Yeah, take that and shove it up your illiterate caveman ass, y'know," Naruto grins.
Something in Sasuke's stomach twists, at the sight of it.
This was what he'd been afraid of.
"Hmph," he says, pushing down the aggravating flutter in his chest— he needs to focus on his words right now and not Naruto's stupid, charming face, "Let's just say that against the odds, you made me realize what's important. How I matter in the world, aside from my ambitions. In ways I have never wanted to acknowledge directly. I never thanked you for that."
The words feel stilted— but considering they're ones he'd never dreamed of daring to speak aloud, he forgives himself for any clunkiness in his articulation.
"Yeah, well— you didn't need to," Naruto says, predictably.
"I know."
"Just in case you needed a reminder, y'know."
"Shut up," Sasuke practically hisses, "You asked for me to educate your ass so sit down and listen, why don't you?"
"Alright, alright— please continue."
Sasuke looks away, for the first time in what feels like forever— tearing his attention away from Naruto's guileless gaze to look off out into the crowds hovering around the establishment.
"I know I hurt you, the way I pushed you away," Sasuke says, attempting to sound contrite but fearing he's come off more… factual than anything— which would do for his purposes here, "And I know that's putting it lightly, but. I think I mentioned once before that the time on our team together…"
Sasuke trails off, and Naruto seems to decide to give him a break for once. Which is absolutely the correct move, since Sasuke's done a great job of carrying the conversation so far, he thinks— he deserves some sort of grace for that at least.
"You said being on Team Seven was important to you," Naruto offers lowly, as if caught up in the memory of it, "That even though I was your closest friend and all that— those bonds were a distraction you couldn't afford."
"Hn. So you do listen," Sasuke nods, feeling some of that constriction in his chest loosen— at least he doesn't have to rehash all that again, "That wasn't what I was getting at though. Our time as a team— it was important. Is important. To me. I'm not afraid to admit that now."
"Well, it's about time," Naruto's answering grin is sharp.
"Shut up," Sasuke grunts, shoving through his irritation at the whole confounding, desperate situation, "What I mean is… I like what we were together. All the stupid shit we got up to back then, it was— it was fun."
"… I knew it!" Naruto leans forward eagerly, nearly toppling their dwindling sake supply in the process.
"Hey—" Sasuke snaps.
"No, no— don't take this from me," Naruto is grinning like an absolute madman, self satisfied and stupidly thrilled, "I knew you weren't the serious jerkoff you always pretended to be. Of course we had fun— I'm the funnest and most awesome guy anyone could be on a team with, y'know!"
"Sure," Sasuke agrees, if only to deescalate Naruto's sudden bout of puppy-like energy.
"You said it!" Naruto practically crows.
"I did," Sasuke says, the tiniest of smiles breaking through the stoic facade he is already struggling to maintain, "You were a dunce and a goofball, make no mistake. But we had good times, too."
"You bet your ass we did!"
If Naruto had a tail, Sasuke has no doubt it would be wagging all over the place.
"Don't get a big head about it," Sasuke sniffs, attempting to reign in the squirming feeling in his guts Naruto's happiness elicits, "You were still a monumental pain, most of the time."
"Yeah, but—"
"But you could be amusing sometimes," Sasuke concedes.
"Amusing?" Naruto's laugh sounds like a bark— which isn't helping the whole analogy already gaining speed in Sasuke's brain, "Like some sort of clown or something—?"
"No," Sasuke finds himself chuckling, using Naruto's enthusiasm to bolster his nerves, "Well, yes, but— like training early in the mornings, while waiting for Kakashi. When we would experiment with stupid new maneuvers and you're clones would be pulling all these— idiotic stunts. It was fun. You were fun."
The glow of Naruto's earnestness dims slightly, as Sasuke speaks— but he doesn't look disappointed or upset. More… wistful, than anything. Which is fine. It works.
"… I didn't think you remembered that kinda stuff," Naruto says, with less unbridled glee than before, but the loss is balanced out by the quiet awe in his words, "Or didn't think about it or whatever."
"Well, I do," Sasuke corrects tersely, "I also think about you dragging me to that cheap ass ramen stall all the time—"
"Hey! Just because it's affordable doesn't mean it isn't the best ramen in the village, ya know!"
"That's not what I— no, just listen to me," Sasuke sighs, exasperated by the effort it takes to keep up with Naruto's ever shifting energy, "What I meant was… I liked it. It was nice, not eating alone at home, sometimes— even if I wish we could have eaten more than noodles every single time."
"I'll forgive your blasphemy just because I find it adorable that wee ickle Sasuke secretly loved going out to eat with me."
Sasuke rolls his eyes, "Don't let it go to your head."
"Too fuckin' late for that!"
"Tch. It wasn't all so innocent though. We did a lot of stupid, shitty things for fun, too," Sasuke reminds him.
"Yeah, we did!"
"Things I'm sure Kakashi is very grateful you've grown out of by now."
"As if I've grown out of anything," Naruto snickers deviously, "I still paint the mountain sometimes— Shikamaru hates it, but hey. Gotta keep those old fogies on their toes somehow."
"… You're an idiot," Sasuke criticizes, but there's little bite to it, he knows, "Is that really how a future Hokage behaves?"
"Ugh, now you're starting to sound like Hinata, y'know. Though she's much nicer about it."
Something cold and sharp lances through Sasuke's chest at the mention of Naruto's fiancée.
But still, "… Well, in this instance she's not wrong."
"What? You're saying you wouldn't want to help me prank the council sometime?" Naruto asks, with wide-eyed, completely false innocence.
"… That wouldn't be the worst thing we could do," Sasuke admits— because he has to admit, the thought has a distinct appeal.
"Exactly," Naruto grins, smug, "See? What fun is growing up if you can't be a little stupid sometimes just for old times sake, right?"
"There is such a thing as taking it too far though," Sasuke feels the need to point out, if only because they are adults now— adults with ambition and dreams much larger than the two of them and their petty whims.
"As we haven't taken every single thing we've done too far, y'know," Naruto scoffs, waving off Sasuke's very reasonable concern, "I don't know who drew that line in the sand but I'd like to have a word with them sometime."
"Moderation is a skill of its own, you know."
"Pfft— Not one I care about," Naruto laughs, maddeningly cavalier, "I mean, sure. Maybe we took things a little far sometimes. But who cares? It got the job done. We're alive— we're better than ever. We're the poster kids for the benefits of taking things too far, as far as I'm concerned."
"As if you didn't have everyone breathing down your neck about going too far for me, once upon a time," Sasuke points out, before immediately regretting his words.
Naruto doesn't seem particularly bothered by the thought though, "Even you."
"Even me," Sasuke nods, smothering the shame that wells within him at the thought.
"I don't regret anything, y'know," Naruto insists, as bright and determined as ever, "And I'm willing to bet you don't either."
"… Maybe not. Should I?" Sasuke asks, fighting the urge to awaken the Sharingan in his eyes, the way he intently catalogs Naruto's reaction to the words.
"Probably," Naruto merely shrugs, "But who cares."
"See— that's it," the words burst from Sasuke like a bout of Katon, "That's the thing you do right there."
"What?" Naruto blinks, understandably taken aback by Sasuke's non sequitor of an outburst.
Pausing, Sasuke takes a moment to collect his thoughts. Trying to string together the appropriate words for just what he needs Naruto to understand here.
"You validate people," he decides upon, and feels the need to add, "Even people who should not be validated."
"You mean you?" Naruto answers, blessedly following Sasuke's admittedly frayed train of thought.
"Precisely," Sasuke agrees, knowing it sounds rushed and relieved but unable to reign it in, "It's infuriating. You don't even ask for apologies or appreciation for it, either. I don't know how you do it. You of all people have every reason to be bitter about your life, and yet it's like everything just rolls off your back like it's nothing."
Naruto shifts in his seat, that ever transparent gaze shuttering slightly, "I wouldn't go that far, y'know."
"So there is a line in the sand, for you," Sasuke observes curiously. He'd been wondering.
"Oh, c'mon," Naruto sighs, swiping a hand over his face, something haggard flickering over his expression, "Of course, I'm bitter sometimes. I just had to learn the hard way how to look past that stuff when I needed to. I couldn't let it hold me back forever. I could have stayed stuck in the past, but then what would have happened? Staying angry and upset doesn't accomplish anything. So I just— I let myself feel it. And then I let it go and focus on the good stuff that has come of it instead."
Drumming his fingers against the sticky bar top, Sasuke tries to parse that. He comes up with very little.
"Good stuff? What possible—"
"Well, there's this, for starters," Naruto interjects, gesturing insistantly between the two of them before Sasuke can even finish the question, "If I hadn't been through all that, and you hadn't— done what you did for the reasons you did, we wouldn't understand each other the way we do now. We can't change what happened, so we might as well appreciate the little bit of good we've gotten out of such a raw deal, right?"
"… Ah," Sasuke concedes, though it feels… sour, on his tongue.
"You get what I'm saying?" Naruto asks, eyes wide and almost pleading.
"I think so."
"Hmm," Naruto hums, not looking convinced in the slightest.
"I do," Sasuke huffs, conviction solidifying within him, even as he says it, "I'm at least self aware enough to recognize the things I have to be grateful for. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Well, a little," Naruto grins sheepishly.
"Asshole," Sasuke mutters, though Naruto catches it if his impish giggles are anything to go off of, "How could I not, when it's right there in my face all the time?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean this—" Sasuke reiterates, lifting his amputated arm out between them— or as far as it will go, at least.
Naruto catches on, gaping at him, "You're… grateful for missing an arm? What the hell— I told you to buck the fuck up and take the prosthetic but no—"
"No, idiot," Sasuke sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm grateful for what you sacrificed for me, to bring me home."
"You don't even live in—"
"Be quiet. I'm trying to be vulnerable here and you're ruining it."
"Okay, alright— sorry, y'know."
Sasuke rallies to the best of his ability, studiously ignoring how Naruto is looking at Sasuke like he's just peed in his ramen.
"I don't think you even realize the extent to which you've given for me," Sasuke tells him, slowly, "I can't afford to be so oblivious. I can't afford to forget. So I have this as a reminder. So that every day I remember how much far you were willing to go. How far I would go— because I can't even name a place I wouldn't go for you, in return for what you've done for me."
Against the odds, Naruto looks even more upset at that, "… You— you make it sound like some sort of debt. It's not—"
"I know," Sasuke cut him off, having expected such a reaction to his words, "That's not what I'm saying. I owe you so much, but even you couldn't make me feel obligated to do anything I didn't want to, usuratonkachi. So try to drop the idiocy for the minute it takes to hear me when I tell you I would go to the depths of hell for you if I had to— not because I owe you that, but because that's just what I would do. You wouldn't even have to ask. Do you understand?"
As Sasuke's words trail off, Naruto does nothing more than blink owlishly at him for a moment. Sasuke waits with bated breath for whatever reaction is fraught divulgence has earned—
And then Naruto's stupidly gob-smacked look breaks into a a wide, shit eating grin.
"Holy shit. You are so drunk."
"That's not— ugh," Sasuke deflates— he'd hoped Naruto wasn't as obtuse as all that.
He just doesn't know how to be clearer without abandoning any semblance dignity he has left.
"No, no— it's awesome," Naruto rushes to assure him, through his bubbling laughter, "You've never— you know this is like, the longest conversation we've ever had without punching each other?"
"It's not too late to change that, you know," Sasuke informs him darkly.
"Shut up, shut up— it's great," Naruto insists, thumping Sasuke on his bad shoulder, "Even if I also kinda wanna cry or whatever— fuck you for that, by the way."
Sasuke sniffs, glancing self consciously away from the burning earnestness in Naruto's gaze, "Don't get all weird about it."
"How can I not? You just told me you'd rot in hell for me—"
"Not my exact words—"
"—As if I want you to do something like that for me, ya know!"
"… Well, too bad," Sasuke says, feeling the desperate energy that has powered him up to this point begin to ebb— he's just tired, "If you didn't want something like that, you shouldn't have become best friends with an Uchiha."
"You say that like that's a normal best friend thing to do."
"I certainly do not."
Though if he's being honest, he's been tired for years. Waiting on and anticipating an opportunity— and opening— that… very likely would never come.
Perhaps he's holding out hope for something that was just a figment of his traumatized imagination. Perhaps he's truly alone in this vague, ephemeral feeling of incompleteness that has haunted him like the pain of his phantom limb. Perhaps he's just plain too late, and they've crossed the point of no return. He doesn't know which would be worse.
"Oh?" Naruto says, eyes narrowing on Sasuke in a way that has the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end, like a prey being stared down by an apex predator, "More of that Uchiha Curse bullshit then?"
The question feels… weighted. Charged with something Sasuke isn't prepared to decipher.
He's just tired.
"… No," he admits, unable to even pretend to pretend any longer.
Naruto's heard it all already, after all. There'd be no point in trying to cover up the truth of it in the face of that absolute understanding.
"No?" Naruto echoes, gaze still sharp and intent in a way that leaves Sasuke feeling distinctly wrong footed, "So are we finally gonna get to the point of why you're here then?"
"… What?" Sasuke asks, mind swimming, trying to keep up with yet another turn in the course of their conversation. If it can even be called such, anymore.
"You know—" Naruto wheedles, not giving an inch— though Sasuke only just barely recognizes that he's losing ground at all, "Why you hauled ass across the continent twice to find me, but very specifically not to go to my wedding? Or did you think I forgot about that bit, huh?"
"I might have hoped," Sasuke admits, slowly coming to terms with what Naruto is asking of him.
"Tough shit. So you finally gonna come out with it then?"
Naruto gives no ground. Shows to quarter. Having maneuvered Sasuke into a position of either surrendering or quitting the field altogether.
Sasuke tries one last tact, as his nerves threaten to abandon him, "What does that even have to do with anything we were talking about?"
"You tell me, y'know."
"… Elaborate," Sasuke insists, stomach squirming enough to make him nauseous— likely compounded by the sheer volume of sake he's consumed that night.
"Well, you certainly didn't come here to talk me out of my cold feet, obviously," Naruto says, sounding more sober than he has in hours, to Sasuke's sudden terror.
"Is that so?" Sasuke answers, hating the waver in his voice.
"Nope."
"Care to explain my own thought process to me then?" Sasuke tries— one last ditch effort to preserve any of his dignity in this situation.
He already suspects what Naruto is angling for here— which should be a good thing, but instead he just feels… sick.
"Not really. I think you should just come out with it— unless you're too chicken shit to get it over with already. Or are you not drunk enough yet? Because we can fix that—"
Ah. That's really it then. Backed against the proverbial wall, Sasuke has no choice but to push forward.
Despite the fact that it's what he'd come here to do— in theory— he can't help the fleeting thought that this had all been a grand miscalculation on his part. A mistake— a error of his inflated sense of self importance. A quirk of his ego bred over the years of being the absolute center of Naruto's bright, brilliant attention.
But it's too late for all that now. He'll see this through, even if it means he can never show his face in Konoha again.
"… I meant it it when I said I didn't care if you got married. If that's what you really wanted," Sasuke says, sounding resigned, even to his own ears.
"… Really?" Naruto squints at him, disbelief clear on his face.
But that's it. Sasuke has no more words left to offer. He doesn't even know how to begin to answer Naruto's plea for answers. All of it too big— too daunting for mere words.
He shrugs helplessly, looking away in shame. Eying the nearly empty sake carafe longingly, but not even having the energy for that anymore.
Naruto's steely facade breaks, as he bursts into giggles, burying his face in his arms on the bar top as his shoulder shake with mirth.
"You know," Naruto gasps through his ill timed humor, "I think I'd rather rot in hell with you, rather than see you do it for me, bastard."
That's when Sasuke realizes he's been played.
He gaze snaps back to Naruto's quaking form, accusation burning in his eyes and words.
"… You knew where I was going with this, didn't you? You asshole."
"Yeah, I might have figured it out at some point," Naruto wheezes, sitting up at last to wipes the flecks of tears from his eyes, "Even if you were being an evasive dick about it, at first."
"Oh," Sasuke sneers, indignation and embarrassment curdling within him, "What did you figure out then?"
He's certain now Naruto knows— but he needs to hear him say it.
"Uh, that you were more invested in wrecking my marriage before it even started than shoving me down the aisle?"
And there it is.
"You really expect me to have such dastardly intentions?" Sasuke tries to deny— because that really hadn't been his purpose.
Looking for a chink in one's armor wasn't the same as being the one to create it.
"Uh, duh? This is you we're talking about," Naruto rolls his eyes, "As if a little dastardly has ever stopped you before."
Sasuke sighs— supposing he's earned such an estimation, at least, "Fair enough."
"That and the shitty attempts at flirting—"
Sasuke sputters in flustered outrage, "They weren't shitty!"
"Oh, please," Naruto huffs, but he doesn't look upset in the least by the idea— poor execution or otherwise.
In fact, he's smiling. Even as the laughter at Sasuke's expense finally dies off, he doesn't look at all offended by the prospect that Sasuke had come here with such ulterior motives.
The hint of fondness in that smile is enough. More than enough.
"… Well, it worked, didn't it?" Sasuke observes at last, heart beating a mile a minute against ribs that suddenly feel like they're made of glass, for all Naruto has the power to crush him in this moment.
"In spite of how bad you are at it, sure."
Relief cuts through Sasuke like Kubikiribouchou.
"… Is that so?" he asks, feeling a smile playing on his lips and knowing he's powerless against it.
"Yep," Naruto grins, eyes crinkling under the force of it— knocking the breath from Sasuke's lungs, "You're just lucky, I guess."
He'd never been brave enough to imagine the outcome of this last gasp, grasping at the fraying edges of their relationship and hoping— praying he wasn't wrong. But even then, Naruto's reaction hadn't been something he'd dared to try and predict. Too worried about adverse outcomes to risk damaging his resolve.
In spite of that, he'd been prepared to slink off again, nursing his wounded pride.
This— this is—
He doesn't even have the words for it.
"Luck?" Sasuke scoffs, going through the motions of salvaging the tatters of his ego at this point, "You think it was luck that I—"
"Oh, it was absolutely luck, you shithead," Naruto's lips quirk, "You're lucky I speak fluent touchy, ambiguous bastard—"
"Ambiguous?"
"Shut up, I'm not done," Naruto shushes him, "You're lucky I think you're untouchable dickface act is funny and not a huge red flag—"
"It is absolutely a red flag, idiot— don't get it twisted," Sasuke feels the need to inform him.
"And!" Naruto ignores him, barreling forward, as always, "You're lucky I've been waiting for someone who makes me feel like you do. Like you always have. Even that feeling is shit half the time— the other times, well. They were okay, I guess."
Sasuke's weak heart skips a beat.
"Okay? Just okay?" he needles, despite himself. Naruto just brings it out in him.
"You heard me," Naruto scoffs, but his smile is beaming— effervescent and luminous, "You're lucky I was okay with settling for just almost okay all this time, just because I didn't think I'd ever find anything better than that. You're lucky I was dragging my feet because nothing ever felt right except for you. You're lucky I've been hung up on you since— pretty much forever, y'know."
The breath leaves Sasuke in a rush. For all he'd been certain at that point— Naruto's words leave no room for doubt.
"… There's a first time for everything, I suppose," Sasuke breathes.
"So yeah," Naruto says, looking flustered himself at this point, brushing a some non-existent something or other on his jacket, unable to meet Sasuke's eye all of a sudden, "You bet your fuckin' ass you're lucky, dipshit."
"Hmm. I can't argue with that," Sasuke agrees, allowing that warm feeling to suffuse him— bleeding like sunlight into his withered, aching veins.
"Damn right," Naruto says, gaze returning to Sasuke at last— glowing with that familiar determination Sasuke recognizes all too well by now, "So just shoot your shot already."
Sasuke doesn't even think of refusing.
"Naruto," he says, holding that bright gaze like a lifeline, "Will you rot in hell me?"
"… That's what you go with?!" Naruto sputters indignantly, though a smile is cracking through his outrage anyway.
"Live with me in this sin forever?" Sasuke tries instead.
"Oh my god. You're the worst."
"You know you want it, too."
"Yeah, shit— for some fuckin' reason, y'know."
"Hn," Sasuke can't help but smirk, "Too late to back out now."
"I should be saying that to you— do you know how much shit is gonna come my way because you decided to shit all over my engagement two days before the wedding? I mean, c'mon."
Sasuke thinks about it for a moment, "I could take her."
"Oh, leave Hinata alone," Naruto laughs, punching him in the shoulder, "It isn't her fault you decided to pull up your big boy homewrecker pants out here in the shittiest inn slash tavern on the fuckin' continent, you know—"
"I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't bothered to stumble into this shitty bar because of your shitty, lackluster engagement in the first place—"
"As if you would have gotten your act together if I hadn't—"
"Don't put all this on me."
"You are the worst at confessing your love, ya know! The worst. Ugh."
"Well, you're the worst at receiving said confession, so I think we're even, don't you?"
"Not by a fuckin' mile, you dick. You haven't even said it properly—"
"Neither have you!"
"As if I'm gonna— you haven't earned it yet!"
"… Are you joking?" Sasuke eyes him warily.
"Nope," Naruto pouts, "Not even a little, y'know."
"I think I've changed my mind," Sasuke huffs.
"Oh, whatever— You knew what you were signing up for."
"… I did," Sasuke admits, no longer hating how soft he sounds when he says it.
Naruto sniffs, looking unsettled but not displeased, "… Well?"
"Well, what?"
"I'm waiting on a proper confession, y'know!"
"Hm," Sasuke murmurs, willing to press his luck just a little more, "It depends. Just how lucky are we talking here?"
"… Are you serious? What, you want me to crawl in bed with you just like that? You think I've got loose morals or something?"
"Your morals are the least loose thing about you. I'm hoping at least."
Naruto looks gob-smacked. Which isn't far off of what Sasuke feels, honestly. It's all still sinking in.
Eventually, Naruto's brain seems to come back online, "… Oh, you bastard."
"Hm— that doesn't sound like a no."
"Pfft," Naruto snorts, "You know, I think I actually need to be woo'd a bit, for something like that."
"Did you make Hinata jump through these ridiculous hoops or am I just special?"
"I think you know the answer to that, bastard. Now about that wooing—"
"… As if that would be a challenge, with you. You have the lowest standards for praise on the planet."
"Ha. As if you know the first thing about romance."
"And you do?"
"I am engaged!"
Sasuke chooses to ignore the tense of that statement— filing it away as a problem for tomorrow.
"Ah, how could I forget," he says instead, "Fine. I may not have the experience you do, but I have something else, arguably more important."
"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"
"I know you," Sasuke informs him, matter-of-fact, "Better than you know yourself, I think, you idiot."
"As if!"
"I do. And I'll prove it."
"Oh, I can't wait to see this, y'know."
"Hn. How's this—" Sasuke huffs, sliding off his stool and closing the distance between them at long last. He he's right in front of Naruto, disregarding any sense of personal space— relishing in the audible hitch of Naruto's breath, he leans in further. Ignoring the puff of Naruto's ragged breath of his neck in order to speak directly into Naruto's ear, low and heavy with intent, "I'll come back to Konoha with you, Naruto."
He feels more than sees Naruto's answering flail, before two strong hand grab him by the shoulders, shoving him away so wide blue eyes can meet his own, "Wait— what, really?"
Sasuke doesn't flinch, "If you want me to."
"O-of course I do!" Naruto sputters, "But even if I— we— you don't have to. Would it be, like… for a bit, or—"
Sasuke rolls his eyes, "If you haven't realized it by now, I don't know how to help you, usuratonkachi."
"So spell it out for me," Naruto says, desperate and clearly hopeful, "Since you love doing that so much anyway."
"Tch," Sasuke scoffs, reaching up to comb a hand through the hair behind Naruto's ear. He leaves it there, "You're my home, idiot. Konoha is the last place I could stand to be with anyone but you. But if you want me there, all you have to do is ask. Very nicely."
Naruto's eyes widen, "… I'll show you nice, y'know."
"I'm counting on it," Sasuke murmurs, just before Naruto drags him into a kiss at long last.
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