I KNOW I AM SO TERRIBLE FOR LEAVING IT THERE, but wouldn't you agree that Dickie Wolf would do the same? Hehe.

Anyway, here is the second part to it. I was going to add this to the first chapter and make it a long one shot, but I decided to break it up so it wasn't so long!

"We did everything we could."

He'd tuned out the nurse after that.

Elliot could feel the nausea rising in his chest. His worst nightmare was coming true, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He could've pulled her down to him, saved her somehow, but he didn't. He had expected her to take cover, but she stared down death until it was blue in the face. She'd done what cops were supposed to do: Protect and Serve. She'd upheld that oath until the end when she was lying on the ground, and even then, she was more worried about her son and him. Now, she was lying back in the hospital room, dead.

He'd never get to spend the kind of life with Olivia that she deserved. She deserved someone to be there for her when she couldn't do it on her own. Who was he kidding? She didn't need anyone. She'd done a great job without anybody, and look how amazing her son turned out. He was just like her in so many ways, and Elliot would've never known Noah was adopted until Noah told him on the way home from Woodstock. The poor kid is essentially an orphan again Elliot's thoughts rang out. He could feel his heart breaking more and more.

He'd never get to kiss Olivia or hold her close at night, love her in a way he'd never done, now never get to do. What was he to do without her? That was his best friend, and that son of a bitch lying in the morgue had taken her from him. He could feel the tears rising, and the lump in his throat growing. He needed to get out of here. But a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Stabler, man. Liv's waiting for us," he heard Fin's voice breaking through the cataclysmic thoughts going through his head. Elliot kept his head down. He didn't want Fin to see him like this. He didn't need anyone to see him lose the most important person to him right now. He was losing half his soul. He'd lost his wife and his soulmate in a little over two years, and he wasn't sure how he was surviving at that point.

"What's the point, Fin?" His voice groveled with pain, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be without it now. Losing Kathy, he'd had Olivia by his side every step of the way. Losing Olivia, he had no one. Sure, he had his squad, Olivia's squad, his family... but no one could ever be there for him the way Olivia was. Now no one ever would.

He'd told her he loved her before slipping into the ambulance with her. She'd told him she loved him. They'd gotten her situated in the ambulance and sure, she was still losing blood, but it was under control. Her grip on his hand hadn't really let up. He was hopeful to say the least. He was certain she'd be okay. Then as they were unloading, her heart rate dropped, and the grip on his hand went slack.

"She's coding. Get her in OR, now!"

He could still hear the hustle and bustle of the hospital staff as they took Olivia back to the operating room as quickly as possible. Fin had come in just shortly after. Then following him, her squad, Ayanna, McGrath, and many other brothers in blue crowded the small waiting room. He'd had to get some distance to breathe. To think. He'd decided then and there that it didn't matter the consequences, he was taking his moment, and he was telling that stubborn woman how he really felt. He needed to tell her, and she needed to know.

Only now, she'd never know. And he'd never get to tell her. Her son would never have Sunday waffles with her. Fin wouldn't have his sidekick. Her squad wouldn't have their leader. And he wouldn't have the woman he'd do anything in the world for. He felt his heart clenching in his chest. It was all so much for him to process. He didn't know if he could see her, lifeless and cold, lying in some strange hospital room when she should be full of life and warm, doing what she does best. He didn't want any other image of Olivia flooding his brain. He couldn't be the one to tell Noah that his mom had died trying to save him. He'd been a coward and ducked under the table and had tried to get Olivia to do the same, but it got him nowhere. He should've just drawn his gun and shot the poor, sick bastard when he had the chance. But the boy was holding a shotgun, and they had only had handguns. Shotguns carried more power than a handgun.

He felt the bile rising in his throat. Surely he could keep it together in front of these people. He felt the room closing in on him, and he felt Fin gripping the arm of his shirt. Elliot collapsed to his knees on the ground, Olivia's blood on his hands and clothes coating the floor beneath him. Someone had to call Noah.

Elliot started to sob. There was no way to tell a child that their mother had died doing what she did best: protecting. He couldn't do this life without Olivia; that much was true. He needed to get a grip on himself, but how could he do that when he'd just lost his chance at a happy ending with Olivia? With Noah? They could've become part of his family, officially, but she hadn't been ready, and he really wasn't over his wife's death. Now he'd have no way to ever tell Olivia that she was it for him. He had loved Kathy, yes, but he'd also loved Olivia. He couldn't be with anyone else if he couldn't be with Olivia. He felt someone kneel beside him on both sides.

"Elliot, cmon. We've got you," he heard Ayanna's voice trying to soothe him and keep her emotions in check as well. Ayanna knew the pain of losing a partner, so she could understand why he couldn't get up. She could understand that he'd probably retire from the force now that Olivia was gone. He'd just go home and be with his family. There was no point in doing this job if he couldn't do it with Olivia.

"Stabler, your knees are gonna hate your old ass if you don't stand up," Fin told him. Fin's voice sounded rasped as well, as if he were trying to keep his emotions back too, for him.

"Fin, Ayanna," he started. He had to take a big breath in to calm down. "I need to call Amanda and talk to Noah. Someone's got to tell him."

He felt his resolve not to cry some more slowly crumble as his body started to sink further towards the ground. He just wanted to curl up and die right where he was sitting. He didn't care that his Sergeant was on one side of him and his and Olivia's friend for 24 years was on the other, desperately trying to get him to stand, to do something.

"Amanda is on her way to get him." He heard Carisi behind him. Why was everyone crowding him? He needed space. He needed to get the hell out. He quickly got to his knees and went to find the nearest chapel. He needed to know why he'd lost the love of his life.

Ugh, I promise you. There's one more chapter. I didn't realize how long this was until I went to submit. I am totally sobbing right now.

Part 3 is coming!!