"It's a waste of talent and manpower, you know?" says the chuunin, babbling away in a common mess area shinobi tend to gather around for a rest and some food at noon.

"What do you mean?" says another chuunin. Other shinobi around them are minding their own business eating lunch and chatting with comrades of the same rank.

"Nakano, weren't you listening? I said Naruto, he's a waste of talent and manpower,"

"Eh?" says Chuunin Nakano, twisting open a bottle of tea. "Why would you say that?"

"Haven't you seen him recently?"

Nakano sighs irritably. "Look, Okamoto, I've got actual shit I do at the archives. Of course I don't see him. I don't fucking work at the tower like you, do I?"

"Jeez, what's got your panties in twist?" Chuunin Okamoto frowns at his friend. "Anyways, saw him last week visiting the Rokudaime-sama. Didn't he just pass chuunin recently?"

"Wasn't he sick right after the exams?"

"Yeah. Uchiha and Haruno had to interfere. And for a newly promoted chuunin, it's suspicious how Jounin Nara doesn't hand him missions like he used to," he bites into the karaage sandwich he got from a stall before sitting with Nakano.

"Nara doesn't give Uchiha missions either," Nakano points out.

"That's because only Hokage-sama is allowed to give him missions," says Okamoto.

"You still haven't gotten to your point," Nakano starts with his own lunch, a bowl of rice and beef and potato curry.

Okamoto takes a swig of his own bottled cold tea. "Saw Naruto last week visiting the Hokage's office. He's pregnant again,"

Nakano hums as he chews. "So?"

"So?" Okamoto repeats incredulously, "So? Dude, he's a high level chuunin, easily a Kage level shinobi. He should be out there doing things a shinobi of his rank is supposed to be doing? He's like, five years mated and has been pregnant three times!"

"Again," Nakano takes as gulp of his tea. "What's the big deal?"

"Waste of power, if you ask me,"

"Well, nobody's asking you, asshole," says Nakano, annoyed. "Who the fuck cares if he likes being an omega, the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"He's a shinobi, he should be serving!"

"He's already served plenty enough. I don't see you saving the country from a war,"

"I'm just saying,"

"Nobody wants to hear you saying shit, Okamoto,"

"Just wondering though, Uchiha must really fill up that cunt really well for Naruto to agree to be pregnant so often,"

"Dude, shut up, I'm trying to eat and you're commenting on the life choices of the first family,"

"Say that again,"

Both chuunin freeze. They turn to the voice and is greeted to the Hokage's masked face, his assistant, Jounin Nara behind him. They rush to stand up and bow.

Kakashi actually hates all the bowing. But this time he will demand it.

"What's your name?"

"Chuunin Nakano Hatori, Hokage-sama,"

"You can go," Kakashi waves him off.

"You see me later," Jounin Nara tells Chuunin Nakano who nods and gives him a hasty bow.

"H-hai," he grabs his bowl of rice and curry and his bottle of tea and leaves the table.

Kakashi turns to the remaining chuunin. "And you?"

The remaining chuunin swallows. "Chuunin Okamoto Katsuya, Ho-hokage-sama,"

"I was just out looking for something to eat when I hear my precious child's name," Kakashi says. "What were you saying again, Chuunin Okamoto?"

"I-I'd rather not repeat it," suddenly Okamoto's not feeling hungry, and his stomach is starting to cramp.

"But you were so insistent on sharing your thoughts to Chuunin Nakano," insists Kakashi. "Say it again,"

"I really would like to decline," he tries again. This time it's his knees that are about to buckle.

Kakashi narrows his eyes at him. He's not going to take shit. If it means they'll gossip about him being too harsh about a couple of rumors, so be it. But he'll have to make an example. He already adopted Naruto to declare his protection, yet there are still some people who have the gall. They didn't do this to Sarutobi and his troublemaking grandson.

"In case I'm not making myself clear enough. I, your Hokage, order you to repeat it, Chuunin Okamoto. If you have something to say about my kid you say it directly to my face,"

"Jii-chan!"

"Aki-chan! Don't run!"

A small child bumps into the back of Kakashi's leg, and Shikamaru catches the child before he falls on his bum.

Chuunin Okamoto actually gives a sigh of relief when he sees Naruto, dressed down in an informal hakama, his belly heavy, curved, and rounded for everyone to see. Kami, he's massive. He looks like he's ready to give birth on the street.

"Aki-chan! What do we do when we see Jii-chan when he's working!" Naruto admonishes the child as he tries to keep up with the child's tiny speedy body with his own weighty and physically unstable one. "Hi, Shikamaru,"

"Hello, Naruto, good to see you,"

"Gomen ne, Mama," the child pouts, then steps back a little bit to bow, then reaches up, asking to be carried. "Jii-chan!"

"Ah, my lovelies," Kakashi's anger and fatigue melts away and he picks up the giggling child to smother his plump cheek with a kiss. Then opens his other arm to welcome Naruto. "What are you doing out and about?"

"Picking up some picnic food for the hanami!" Naruto accepts the scenting disguised as a one armed hug. "Fuyu-chan and Riki-chan are with Iruka-sensei in the toy store down the road. We're gonna have to get back before they run your bank account to the ground," (1)

Akihiko pulls on the collar of Kakashi's flak jacket. "Jii-chan! Akihiko to isshou ni ohanami wo iku no?" Grandpa, will you come see the sakura flowers with me?

"Of course I will, Akihiko,"

The child kisses the mask covered cheek. "Yay!"

Kakashi can't lose his shit about how cute his grandchild is in public. So he turns to Naruto. "And you shouldn't be walking this far. You look like you're about to topple over," he makes a bunshin and it takes the shopping from Naruto.

"Two Jii-chan!" cheers Akihiko in delight.

"Tell me about it," Naruto sighs, cupping his belly. "I think a foot is digging into my diaphragm. C'mon, honey, we have Jii-chan's bunshin now so let's let him work, okay?"

"Un!" says Akihiko as he's let down and takes the clone's hand.

"Right, let's get Mama back home so he can rest," says the clone, and Naruto then waves goodbye to Kakashi and Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru, please take care of Kakashi-jii-chan. Have a good day, Chuunin-san!" Naruto tells the chuunin before leaving with Kakashi's clone.

Kakashi watches as his grandson babbles away at his clone as they walk away from him. He can't wait to hear all about it later when he undoes the jutsu. Naruto is wearing a haori with the Hatake crest today and it makes Kakashi so proud.

"Aahh, seeing my beautiful kid and grandkid drains all the exhaustion and fatigue of being a Hokage away," the expression in his eyes seems like he's smiling, but then he turns back to the chuunin in question, and glares him down to the ground.

Chuunin Okamato is about to soil himself.

"Don't let Jounin Uchiha or Haruno find you," says Kakashi, enjoying every second of terror on his shinobi's face. How delicious. He is not above abusing his position and his infamy to protect his family. Naruto's already heard shit like this before and it crushed him. This time, Kakashi is here to crush it right back if it means keeping Naruto happy. "Don't let Jounin Nara see you anywhere near Naruto. He has a lot of friends in high places. Me first and foremost, because I'm his father, and I will not hesitate to fuck you up, your face, your career, your income, I will leave no stone unturned, do you understand me?"

"H-hai!" he answers immediately.

"Good. Now. Where can I find what Chuunin Nakano was having? Also, that lemon tea looks absolutely refreshing,"

"It's just around that corner," says Shikamaru, pointing down the street.

Okamoto half-collapses onto the bench he'd been eating at, sweating profusely and almost losing sensation in his limbs from the terror.

"Great! Let's have lunch," he walks down the street with Shikamaru. "Make the next few weeks a living hell for him,"

Shikamaru grins devilishly. "With pleasure, Hokage-sama,"

Notes:

(1) Hanami (花見, "flower viewing") is the Japanese traditional custom of enjoying the transient beauty of flowers; flowers (花, hana) in this case almost always refer to those of the cherry (桜, sakura) or, less frequently, plum (梅, ume) trees.

this is something i wrote not as a part of the main story, but just came to me as an idea even before i wrote the final chapter of the main story and happily ever after (i wrote the happy ever after before i wrote the final chapter).

kakashi is a papa bear and will not hesitate to fuck you up if you try to hurt naruto.