I was 6 when I lost my parents. I was shipped from one foster home to the next, enduring bad foster parents who wanted an orphan to show off to their friends. In secret I was going out on the streets and began stealing - Lord Ozunu, I discovered, sends agents in the form of trained ninjas who are fully dedicated to his cause, to scour the cities in the hopes of finding fresh recruits - but I think what attracted him to me was when I was forced to kill someone.

It wasn't a deliberate thing; he cornered me and complimented me in an alleyway where he said my good looks would make many drool and pay handsomely for me. Scared I lashed out when he got close and he used a garbage can lid to smack him in the face, and he was furious but I knocked the knife out of his hand.

What happened next was pure instinct on my part; I grabbed the knife and stabbed him with it. I went for his gut and his throat, knowing they were the worst places to be stabbed. The man died, gurgling in his blood and he lost a lot of it by the time he came out of his shock, and realised what had just happened.

When I died and I realised what I did, I ran away and I hid. Over the next few weeks, I became colder, harder, and more cynical, self-serving. I planned to become stronger, but it seemed others had plans for me.

I realised later Lord Ozunu has watchers in various parts of the world to inform him of potential recruits to his clan, and one of them watched me in London.

A few weeks after the incident, a representative of Lord Ozunu himself arrived and after pulling one or two strings, I still dunno what kind of trouble his boss had to go through, I just know he adopted me and took me to Japan. Lord Ozunu himself met me at the airport, and he wasn't alone. There were a few other kids there. Like me they had been orphaned and I tried making conversation with him on the long flight to Japan, but he told me my life as I knew it was over, it was time for me to take my place in his ranks. Now, at the time, I was just a simple orphan and I didn't understand what he meant.

Ozunu was a cruel man, and I realised that within moments of meeting him but I couldn't do anything as he had sent his representative to do the deal before meeting me at the airport. We were all taken to a remote mountain retreat, where we were forced to wear blindfolds and our hands were tied to prevent us from seeing our route, so escape would be limited.

Whimpers in the air of the bus filled the silence; Ozunu said nothing and neither did any of his men, although one of the women, a young Latina woman, gazed at me with eyes that were so haunted it was painful. She clearly hated what was about to happen, for she had gone through the same thing.

Lord Ozunu revealed the truth.

We were going to become ninjas, trained to become assassins and murderers as part of his career as an organisation of assassins and spies and thieves for hire.

We were brainwashed, but while I was able to resist due to my strong mind, I knew Ozunu's message was true; Nobody cared for us. Nobody would come for us. The clan would be our family. Our work would be all we needed. For some of us, the message sank in slowly, but mostly because whatever Ozunu had done, the remoteness of our mountain home, it was true nobody was coming.

Like everyone else, I could soon recite the clan's mantra in my head off by heart.

There is no outside, there is only the clan.

There is no duty, other than the clan.

The clan is mother, the clan is father.

The clan is brother, the clan is sister.

Hurt one of us, you hurt all of us.

The clan supports us, you are of the clan.

The blood of the target fuels the clan.

The clan provides food. The clan provides purpose.

Traitors and betrayers will be hunted for harming the clan.

I am the clan.

But I was stronger.

I'd had dreams to become rich from theft, I wanted to have a life. I wanted to do great things without my past shackling me to the ground.

I was trained to become a ninja on the spot. For the next nine years, my days and those of my ninja brothers and sisters became one of non-stop routine; I learnt meditation skills; fighting arts where I progressed from ancient, traditional weapons like knives, kusarigama darts, spikes, shuriken, and swords, and poisons before moving onto guns with silencers; tactics and the art of psychological warfare, disguises…

Again, and again, over and over again. For nine whole years. The days blended into one, as my injuries lessened and the punishments whenever Ozunu was displeased with my performance or lack thereof decreased; I'd forgotten about the outside world, much to my shock.

As time passed, I became a kunoichi.

I became good at poisons, disguises, subterfuge, and weapons and explosives.

Finally…I was given my first assignment. I assassinated a German magnate; I don't know what he had done to deserve someone calling for his head; I never met him or knew him. I didn't even see the cash. Ozunu's bank account received the bounty, and I went back to my life; training recruits when it became my turn.

I was sure my haunted visage matched that of the kunoichi I met before. I wonder if the kunoichi I met back when I first arrived pitied the kids as they took in their new home. I knew I was scared, worried and curious.

I was sent out on many more missions.

But then it all went wrong.

I fell in love, not with a target, but with one of my fellow ninjas. He was an African boy, tall and dark and strong. He exuded a calm, rational presence. He was good, and we trained together. We fell in love over the years, offering each other kindness.

But love is anathema to Ozunu. He found out, and the man I loved was killed. I managed to escape after killing a number of my old 'friends' and I escaped.

I fled. The problem with being a Ninja is if you disguise yourself and walk past another Ninja, they're likely to notice and realise you are a fake. Ozunu would never give up. Desertion was not tolerated. He would have every single way out of Japan watched until the end of time, but I managed to escape after spending nine months in Tokyo and then Kyoto moving around, relying on scraps like I had when I was a kid.

I moved slowly from place to place. I went to China first, and I kept my head down, moving around the country before moving to India, doing the same there before I headed into Europe. And in that time when I moved to Europe, ending up on the French Riviera after two years of moving softly, I made a mistake. Someone recognised me, and I recognised them.

Twelve kids'd been taken in with me by Ozunu. One of them was an American girl with dark blonde hair, and despite her long years of training/slavery/captivity in Japan, she'd been indoctrinated by Ozunu by years of abuse whereas I had something to live for. She was one of the kids in the clan who adopted the mantra only too well. It was all she had left. We fought each other in Marseilles. I didn't have any weapons with me beyond a few poisons, just my hand-to-hand knowledge. She had the upper hand, but I'd been scouting this place for months now.

I didn't try to get through to her even though I could, it was too dangerous; she could pretend to be upset about losing her chance for having a normal life, and she could have sidled up to me, and stabbed me in the back.

In the end, I was able to poison her, after a long drawn-out fight. I stole her weapons and fled into Paris. I was like a nervous kitten, suffering from shell shock all the way, even though I knew if another Ninja from the clan saw it, they'd be onto me instantly. I got into London on the Eurostar and I've been keeping my head down ever since.

Okay.

I admit it.

Coming back was a risk since Ozunu would have realised I was heading here the moment he realised that girl I fought in I came back knowing it would be one of the first places anybody would look because I know this country, but I couldn't help myself. l and I have missed it terribly.

Every day, I train and I wait. I try to steal enough money for good food and clothes while I try to get some education in night classes and at the open university, but I still watch my back to this very day.

It's been four years since I left the clan.

I know they're out there. Every day the knowledge of the part in the mantra describing betrayers and traitors haunts me. They will never stop hunting me down. One day, they might very well kill me. I can't have a normal life.

Ever.

There is no outside, there is only the clan.

There is no duty, other than the clan.

The clan is mother, the clan is father.

The clan is brother, the clan is sister.

Hurt one of us, you hurt all of us.

The clan supports us, you are of the clan.

The blood of the target fuels the clan.

The clan provides food. The clan provides purpose.

Traitors and betrayers will be hunted for harming the clan.

I am the clan.