Chapter 2: The Best Response.
Lincoln remembered that day well. After all, a sense of justice and self-inflicted resentment was awakening in him. He decided that he had to stand up for himself at least once, no matter what, even if he couldn't expect any help from adults. As the training drew to a close, they appeared on the field and played a game. Of course, Lincoln was completely forgotten by all of them. He was running on the field and accidentally, it is important to note, quite accidentally hit someone on the team he was playing for, hitting his leg. It was the same fateful accident he always had, leading to another confrontation and a hit-and-run by his abusers looking for a reason to hit the weak Lincoln, who couldn't even respond. And so, as soon as he hit him, he turned around and whispered angrily to him:
- You little rat!
Those words hurt Lincoln, and from then until now, he'd been hatching a plan of revenge, because he wasn't going to just let it go. He had had enough. It was time for him to fight back. Hearing this, Lisa noticed another interesting detail that the other sisters also noticed.
- Look, Lincoln, - said Lisa, - here's another cognitive error you have made. Why did you even decide to deal with him only a week after the conflict itself had passed?
This time, it was much easier to reply.
- Well, because I held back. At home, the thought was driving me crazy, so I decided to go deal with it, to put an end to the matter.
- But you could have done it right away, instead of holding back. You see, you either hold back and show generosity, but only if you're capable of it and ready to forgive any offense. If you can't forgive an offence, deal with it right away.
- Don't keep it to yourself, Linc, - said Luan, - it can lead to a very sad consequence.
- Even I don't collect negativity, though it's hard to tell right away, - Lucy said, and she was right. She seemed depressive and sad to a lot of people; people didn't understand her fascination with coffins, vampires, and the whole death thing, thinking that she was definitely going to have some kind of mental disorder. But no, that's just her way of life and the girl is not even close to having thoughts of that spectrum in her head.
- So, what happened next? - asked Lori, who couldn't wait to hear the rest of the story.
- When we first got out on the field, I was already standing near the exit beforehand, and as the guys walked by, I managed to whisper to him "we'll figure it out later." Apparently, he was afraid of that, because when the training was coming to an end, he came up to me and apologized. I wasn't expecting that. I don't know why, but I said "okay," though mentally I was already getting ready to blow him away. We went to the locker room, and there...
- I'm sorry for interrupting you, - said Lisa, - so, it turns out that the aggression under which he jumped on you the other day was also contrived. Or maybe he didn't think it through in the first place. Or else he would have gone all the way.
- Wait, - Luna said, - dude, did you really forgive him and then want to go confront him again?
- It's the same cognitive error that people sometimes make without knowing it. Quite interesting point. Go on, Lincoln.
Lincoln remembered being in the locker room at that moment, and standing next to him was the guy he wanted to deal with on the street, without telling anyone about it, lest unnecessary eyes be gathered. The potential victim of Lincoln's revenge was standing near his locker, changing clothes, chatting animatedly with his section mates on some topic Lincoln wasn't interested in. Every word he said passed him by as he imagined punching him in his smug face. And then the coach walks in, asking Lincoln who he was waiting for and, in fact, why, seeing that the guy was literally frozen in place and just staring in the direction of the one he wanted revenge on.
And then, Lincoln stands before Mr. Burton, confident in his own abilities. He, of course, was not afraid of any of the current company, the coaches or their charges. And so he asked in a heartfelt way:
- What business is it of yours?
The coach didn't understand Lincoln's outburst, so he decided to defend himself as best he could.
- What do you mean, what business it is of mine?
- I'm asking you! - Lincoln didn't let him finish, - What business is it of yours who I'm waiting for or why I'm waiting? I want to figure the thing out, and I don't give a damn if you try to stop me.
- What do you mean figure it out? Quit it immediately, - said Mr. Burton, though there was already a hint of fear in his voice at the lad.
- You quit it. Tell me, have you ever intervened in any conflict to stop it? Have you ever done any justice? Never in all my time! When I've been hurt by your henchmen, you haven't said a word to them. But when I just want to fight for my rights, you're here. I may be surrounded by cowards who don't want to change things, but I'm not one of them. So get out of here and stay out of my way. Otherwise, you will regret you've ever messed up with me.
The menacing tone with which Lincoln made his short but persuasive speech caused the coach to back down. Then Lincoln, finding the bully who had offended him and who was ready to leave the locker room, caught up with him and beat him, while the others around him only looked back at Lincoln with fear, now knowing that he could stand up for himself.
But then Lincoln's train of thought was interrupted by the coach, who repeated his question.
- Hey, I'm asking you, who are you waiting for?
Lincoln, much less confident than he imagined, still asked that question, rather thoughtlessly.
- What business is it of yours?
- What do you mean, what business it is of mine?
And then the coach stepped closer to Lincoln, but even in his gaze at that moment one could trace a kind of indifference, a cowardice. Apparently he didn't want to deal with any of the teenagers, knowing their temperament, and what they were good for sometimes. He knew. He had experience in dealing with them. But Lincoln wasn't the kind of sporty kid who could hurt even an adult, so when he saw that he couldn't give a coherent answer, he dared to move on.
- What's the damn matter with you, huh? Are you crazy?
- I just wanted to figure the conflict out!
- I've had enough of you and your conflicts. If you don't leave now, I'll call the police.
- Huh, well, call the police!
- I see you've lost your place here, you little brat. Don't forget who you are! Go on, get out of here!
Those words struck Lincoln right in the heart. Especially aggravating was the way the boys started laughing at him for starting an argument but not being able to follow through, but rather standing in a stupor waiting for something to happen. That's the kind of insecurity they started laughing at him for. All he lacked was confidence with perseverance. He couldn't even tell them "screw you all, guys", he just grabbed his things and ran out of the locker room. Straight home. Lynn, on the other hand, had been home a long time by then.
- That's how it was, - Lincoln told his sisters in conclusion, - I just chickened out and decided to leave.
- He knows they bully you and that you can't answer, yet he doesn't do anything about it! – Lori said indignantly.
- Yeah, even the boldest of our athletes could not hold back tears after hearing such words, what a pressure from the coach - said Lynn, aware of her brother's situation and already regretting not staying with him at least a little longer.
- And that's a real insult to self-esteem, isn't it? I've seen it for myself, - added Lola, an ambitious girl who knew a thing or two about pride and knew how hurtful it could be to hurt your self-esteem.
- Oh, poor Linky! - said Leni.
- That's it, then. Well... - Lisa stretched out, making the last notes in her diary, - Well, look. I'll explain that to you now, too. In fact, the only one who chickened out here was Mr. Burton. Especially when he started saying something about the police. I mean, come on - does he, an adult, really need to call the police to deal with a 12-year-old kid? I'll tell you more about his name-calling now. Believe it or not, Lincoln, he's not just afraid of you, but he kind of sees you as the child he wanted to be, but for some objective reason he couldn't, and he's traumatized. That is, he's complexed. But instead of compensating for this with some kind of personal success, he simply lashes out at those who are younger and weaker. In layman's terms, he's just a loser who's unlucky in life, or he wouldn't have been fired from your school. Think about it yourself. There may have been some bullying or systematic humiliation in the process of shaping his temper, but the only thing he can do now is just insult kids who are much luckier than he is in life. You, for example. Yes, he has his favorites, whom he promotes in every way, but they're no match for you, Lincoln, because they, too, are flawed, and all they do is undervalue those who are worse at soccer, but their only, and vague, future is a constant battle, a constant rivalry that will not stop until a new favorite emerges. And it doesn't make them happy, even though they don't realize it yet and can't do anything about it, because sports are the only thing they do well in life. Now look at yourself, Lincoln. Look at how many hobbies you have, how many friends you have and all the things you want to do with your life. And most importantly, you've got us, someone who's there for you every minute. Just give up on them and move on.
- Of course, forget about them! What is their opinion worth to you anyway? - Luan said, - If I'd reacted to every lashing out in my direction about my jokes, I'd never have become a comedian.
- What's more, Lincoln, your coach gave special weight to the age when he called you names. But to put your mind at ease, I'll tell you that age has little bearing on anything. Personal success in a person's life doesn't depend on age, and that has been proven by many. Look at me, I had already won the Nobel Prize by the time I was five. And what did Mr. Burton even accomplish?
For the most part, Lisa just wanted to reassure her brother with these convincing arguments, especially about the loser in life, but there was some truth in them. A person who is bullied or something like that eventually develops a defensive reaction, which, however, is misused and most often turns into an attack. That is why it is so common to meet inadequate individuals who respond with boorishness instead of benevolence. Such people should not be excused, but you can immerse yourself in psychoanalysis, as Lisa did, communicating with Lincoln and learn a lot, to understand it and at the same time try to understand your abusers. After all, who knows, maybe they once had a traumatic experience that they cannot forget, so they call names. Just to brush aside unpleasant memories. Because they simply do not know any other way. And, indeed, the most rational way in such a case would be simply to leave them alone and go on your way. Opinions of such people are not so important. But you especially do not need other people's opinions when it comes to personal goals and successes. It's not worth paying attention to people or their words when they are trying to hurt. But, as a general rule, this art of indifference and not-caring is not given to everyone, nor is it easy. Some people may be really thick-skinned to all kinds of insults and threats, but even such people can sometimes be pierced by the smallest things that are invisible to us ordinary people, but which they notice and which really hurt them. No one can ignore the hurtful memories that, like undigested food in the body with indigestion, wander in our heads and do not give rest day or night. To get rid of them is quite real, but how? Everyone finds an individual answer to this question.
- Okay, I'll try to forget it. But what do I do now? - Lincoln asked.
- We are gonna beat them all up, really! - said indignant Luna, clenching her fist menacingly.
- No, - said Lisa, pausing her sister, - Violence would be totally inappropriate here. If we beat them now, it will lead to nothing, because it simply will not satisfy our needs. If we beat them now, after a while we'll want to do it again. Then again. And so on, until either we get caught by the police or it has far worse consequences. And it's a good thing some of us know how to fight. What if they're stronger than all of us and just beat us up? That would only make it worse, and the resentment would finally take root, only this time in all of us, not just Lincoln. I have a better idea that I think would us perfectly, - Lisa smiled, which was uncharacteristic of her indifferent expression, - Lincoln, do you have their identifying marks?
Lincoln and the sisters looked at Lisa with incomprehension, not yet knowing what she was implying to.
- Pictures. Do you have any of their pics?
- Yes, I remember they had a group on Instaframe where I saw their pics.
- That's great! I'll explain you what's what...
Two weeks later, Lincoln had forgotten all about his resentment. The method Lisa had devised was the best way to help Lincoln deal with his bad thoughts. And his sisters helped him do it. Luan rehearsed her new jokes while standing in front of a picture of Mr. Burton, one of which went something like this:
- Well, I can only congratulate you. With coaches like you, our country will soon have new winners for the prestigious Darwin Award! Get it? - Luan laughed, turning to her audience, namely to Luna, who was standing next to her. She didn't hear the joke, though, because she was busy. She had a rap battle with a wall on which hung the white-haired head of one of Lincoln's abusers.
But Lana went even further than anyone else. She decided to put these pictures inside the toilet whenever she needed to go to the bathroom, and that would probably be the most humiliating thing for them to be done with their pictures. Seeing their proud but wrinkled faces float to the surface, the girl smirked and flushed them without remorse. Serves them right for all the wrongs they'd inflicted on her big brother Lincoln!
And so, every Loud in the family did something derogatory with pictures of Lincoln's abusers. Lincoln himself, meanwhile, was in Lisa and Lily's room, aiming darts at all of his abusers' pictures at once.
- And yet, - Lincoln said to Lisa after he had hit one of the offenders in the nose with his dart, - this way is genius. Thank you for suggesting it, Lisa.
- You're welcome, - answered Lisa, not taking her eyes off her scientific work, - but I must admit that it is not durable. Sooner or later it will stop working.
- And what do we do then?
- We'll see. In the meantime, make do with what you've got.
- There's just one thing I don't really get. How can you understand people so well?
- I'm not just a scientist, Lincoln. I'm also a good psychologist. Living with nine sisters and one brother, you can learn a lot by studying behavioral traits, which are many and totally different, - said Lisa, who was really very smart for her five-year-old age.
But where was Lynn? She was neither seen nor heard from. The fact was that she had locked herself in her room and, after kicking Lucy out of there, was in her own thoughts. She threw darts at a picture of herself. For the past few days she had been depressed by a bad feeling. Lisa's words had stuck in her head and were remembered more and more often. "They act just like animals," and "Here, in sports, only the strongest survives too."
Yes, what she had done to Lincoln was wrong, and she had also lied to all her sisters about protecting him. Instead, she indulged in her foolish competitiveness, as she always did, wanting to show that she was first everywhere and must be. She'd just squeezed the baby-sitting job out of Lincoln back in the day. Why? Because the job should be hers and no one else's. She always beat her sisters at board games, but once they outplayed her, she turned their lives into a nightmare, wanting to be first, even in everyday things. Faster than Lincoln to drink milk, faster than Leni to run up the stairs to the top. And that's the way she always acted, thinking only of her own interests and forgetting about everyone else. But why didn't Lincoln give her away? Why didn't he tell his sisters all about how things were actually really different and that she, Lynn, had never even tried to help Lincoln out in training? She was tormented by that question, and so she decided to go to her brother and apologize for the way she had behaved towards him when they had gone to soccer section together. She saw him walk out of Lisa's room and into his own. Before anyone noticed, Lynn crept up to Lincoln's door and knocked. She stepped inside.
- Hi, Lynn, - Lincoln welcomed his two-year older sister.
- Can I tell you something? Just... - she closed the door behind her so no one would hear, - In private?
- Sure. I'm all ears.
Lynn took a deep breath.
- Please forgive me, Lincoln, for abandoning you and not protecting you when you needed help. I'm also really-really sorry that I lied. I can't sleep at all these days, remembering Lisa's words. She's right about the competitiveness - sometimes I really overdo it.
- I forgive you.
- You do?
- Of course I do. How could I not forgive you? All people have the right to make mistakes, - said Lincoln, smiling.
- Thank you, Linc. I'll stop going there, too, if you like. There's nobody there anyway, just jerks, - she said, and they both laughed merrily. Leaving the room and once again thanking Lincoln for his precious and so meaningful forgiveness to her, Lynn went looking for her sister and part-time roommate Lucy. She looked around every room she could find, but she was nowhere to be seen. Then she remembered one of her hiding places where Lucy sometimes hid to write poetry. Looking into the vent, Lynn decided not to go too far, but not finding Lucy there, she thought that maybe she had gone outside. She didn't immediately realize that Lucy was already standing behind her.
- Hi, - Lucy said suddenly, and in doing so she startled Lynn, who cried out, - I've been here the last few hours.
As a matter of fact, nothing has happened to her in that amount of time. Still the same Lucy. Just more content and cheerful than usual, as it could be seen.
- What?! How did you...
- Don't worry about the food. But the poetry... Do you know what inspiration has come to me in all this time?
- I don't know, but it's kinda good you're still alive. Let's go.
- What happened?
Lynn decided not to keep it a secret and told Lucy the reason for her sudden change of heart that she had decided to let her back into their room. She heard that Lincoln had forgiven her, Lynn, without specifying, however, what for. The girls returned to the room, Lynn realized that it was time for her to rethink her life, and in the meantime Lincoln was lying on his bed and looking up at the ceiling. He was happy. What a good feeling it is, after all, to forgive people and forget resentments. No, he shouldn't hold a grudge against the soccer guys anymore, and neither should he do towards Mr. Burton. And it's not that they weren't worthy of it. No, just... What's the point to it?
Thank you all for reading this to the end! Any criticism would be welcomed. I'm also working on another story that will be connected to this fanfic, but it's not about Lincoln. You'll find it out in the next few days!