Author's Note: Thank you all for sticking with me, as we nearly have the entire cast of characters together in the race for the Grail. When planning this, I debated on whether or not to make the treasure the Ark of the Covenant of the Holy Grail. I settled on the Grail because of its ties to Arthurian Legend, which wouldn't feel out of place in the Shrek universe.

—-

Chapter Three: The Journey East

Puss In Boots, Kitty Softpaws, and Brother Carlos all sat in the cargo hold of the merchant ship bound for Beirut. The plan was to get off there and hitch a ride on a Crusader column bound for Jerusalem out of Constantinople. From there, they would meet Puss' friend and ride out into the desert, hopefully without contacting Beauchat or the Fisher King's elite troops that were certainly on the way there by now.

"So who is this Beauchat," asked Kitty, "he sounds handsome."

"He won't be when I chop off his cajones," replied Puss angrily, then remembering who he was talking to, apologized. "Sorry."

"Why do you hate some French treasure hunter so much," asked Kitty, genuinely concerned.

"Well, you see," said Puss, "after San Ricardo, I found myself wandering the region, eventually living in Andorra, where I shared an apartment with a well put-together French Siamese cat. Emile Beauchat."

"Is this a long story," asked Kitty.

"Yes," replied Puss annoyedly, "now pay attention."

Puss then continued. "He was the scholarly type, and I was the muscle, a similar dynamic to our old friend Humpty. We pulled off many successful jobs in kingdoms throughout the known world. Soon enough, we became famous in certain circles, making many powerful enemies the more ambitious we got."

"So what happened," asked Kitty.

"Beauchat," continued Puss, "rubbed me the wrong way more than a few times. I could've sworn he was cheating me out of the booty, but he is good at keeping secrets and an even better liar. One day, we robbed the Bank of Duloc."

"You robbed Lord Farquaad," gasped Kitty. Lord Farquaad, as he was still in power at this point, had become known as one of the most feared despots and persecutors of fairy tale creatures. Kitty knew Puss was brave, gutsy, even arrogant at times, but she didn't think even he would try to rob the infamous dictator.

"Beauchat sabotaged the escape," said Puss, "so while he rode off into the sunset a wealthy cat, I was captured by the authorities. The things they did to me, I will never forget," Puss tensed up in anger, "and the entire time, I thought about how foolish I was to never see this coming. When they tortured me, I thought about how great it would be to murder Beauchat and send him to the fiery pits of Hell, where he belongs! I've thought about killing him even after I escaped the prison and I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Pardon me for interrupting," said Brother Carlos, overhearing Puss' story, "but as a man of God, may I make a suggestion?"

"Is this going to be one of those love your enemy sermons, Padre," asked Puss.

"Si."

"Then no," replied Puss, "I want to see Beauchat suffer. Ever since Duloc, the smug cheese-monkey has found more ways to rip me off. He'd follow me to a job," he continued, getting even angrier, "watch me pull it off, then show up when it's all over to steal the reward from me. Then he'd go into town and tell everyone how great he is, the charming Emile Beauchat. That prick even stole dates from me!"

"I understand you have a lot of anger," said Brother Carlos compassionately, "but have you thought about…"
"No," replied Puss, not wanting to hear him out, "I will not forgive Beauchat for what he's done."

Puss then trudged to a corner where he had a guitar and began to play it. Kitty, concerned, came up to him.

"Puss," asked Kitty, "are you okay?"
"Just fine," said Puss, now calmer.

Puss began strumming a tune of his own and muttering some lyrics.

"What are you doing," asked Kitty out of curiosity.

"Working on a theme song," replied Puss, "I call it Who is your favorite fearless hero? Something I can play at parties."

He began to play some more and got into the song.

"Who is your favorite fearless hero? Who is your favorite fearless hero!" Puss sang, "Who's brave and ready for trouble? Who's so unbelievably humble?"

"Not you," interrupted Kitty.

Puss paid no mind and kept going, "Who is your favorite fearless hero? Who is your favorite fearless hero?"

"Jesus," said Brother Carlos.

"Who is the gato who rolls the dice," he continued, "and gambles with his life?! Who's never been touched by a blade? Puss In Boots is never afraid!"

Meanwhile, Brother Carlos decided to inquire further into the personal life of Puss In Boots. "Is he always like this," he asked Kitty.

"No," replied Kitty, "he's had days when he's even more self absorbed."

"I am your favorite fearless he-e-rooooo," Puss tried to hit a high note, ending up choking up on a hairball.

"Huck! Hack! Blargh!" He stopped playing to release the hairball, eventually getting it out.

"Hairball," he commented.

"You're the hairball," commented Kitty, "and your song sucks."

"I know, I know," replied Puss, "I think I need to add a few more verses. Maybe ditch the high note."

Kitty nodded in agreement.

"Anyhow," said Puss, "I'd like to know what's so special about the Grail, outside of religious significance."

"Well," said Brother Carlos, "according to legend the Grail can grant everlasting life to worthy souls. But nothing has been confirmed."

"So that's why the Fisher King wants it," said Puss.

"That could be a reason," replied Brother Carlos.

"Well," said Puss, now doubting himself, "at least I already have nine."

"I thought you had six left," interrupted Kitty.

"Oh," said Puss, trying to recall, "right. There was Saint Paddy's Day, and poker night in Barcelona, and the Running of the Bulls. Good times."

"When exactly do you plan on growing up," asked Kitty.

"Who says I haven't already," replied Puss.

"Everyone that knows you," said Kitty.

"Well," said Puss, "you haven't changed much either."

"How would you know," replied Kitty, indicating there was something that Puss didn't know.

"What are you saying," said Puss inquisitively.

"Figure it out," said Kitty, with a hint of anger.

Puss thought about it, eventually coming to a conclusion.

"I never wanted to hurt you," said Puss, trying to console her.

"Well too bad," said Kitty. "You did! You're the only man I have ever really loved, and you ran off with some punta God knows how many times! Yet for some weird reason, you keep coming back to conquer my castle!"

"I'm sorry Kitty," said Puss regretfully, "I thought we were good keeping it casual."

"Since I met you," said Kitty, now on the verge of tears, "there hasn't been anyone else. Just you!"

She began to cry, "But I guess I'm not good enough for you."

Puss looked at her in genuine concern for her, and shame for himself. He looked at Brother Carlos, who simply nodded in disapproval. Puss went up to Kitty and put his arm around her shoulder.

"I never wanted to hurt you," said Puss softly, "I just don't understand stability."

"You broke my heart, Puss," said Kitty, "many times."

"I'm sorry, Kitty," said Puss.

Kitty heard those two words echo in her head. Puss was never one to apologize, and when he did fake one, he never actually used the word "sorry". He would always dance around it. So Kitty knew that he meant it this time.

"I was in love, Puss," said Kitty, "and I guess I still am."

Puss froze, knowing what he wanted to say next, but found himself unable to find the right words. Kitty simply looked into his emerald green eyes and knew what Puss was thinking.

"It's a good thing you love me back," said Kitty with a faint smile, before she kissed him.

"Buenos noches," said Puss softly, after the passionate kiss, and got up and walked to his hammock.

"You're better than you think," whispered Brother Carlos to him as he passed by.

Puss said nothing and laid down, dreaming as pleasant dreams as he possibly could.

—-

Author's Note: So, the point of this chapter, aside from explaining how they got from Spain to Jerusalem, is to demonstrate where Puss and Kitty are in their relationship at this point in time. Let me know in the comments what your favorite Indiana Jones movie is, and if you haven't seen them, go watch them now. Until next time!