Chapter Third.

Even though he failed to make the children of Slitheren into his drug flunkies, Walt had managed to put a meth lab in the Chamber of Secrets. No one else at Hog Warts knew where it was because you had to flush your self down the toilet to even get in there. So the meth lab was secret from Dumbledore, McGoggle, etc. Not even Snape knew where the lab was. It was all very hush hush on a need to know basis. And Snape didnt need to know shit, thats what Walters paying him for. This is how it works in the buisness.

When he was going in to the lab Walt saw Moaning Myrtle in the toilet. She was being annoying as usual so Walt put on his Heisernberg hat and told her "stay out of my territory" and she screamed like an annoying freak. Walt pulled out an M16 and shot her and she died

Walt was down there in the lab cooking up meth in the usual way (got the regular ingredients at the pharmacy in Hog Smeade) and adding in the newt nards that Snape forked over. The meth was so pure that Walt was getting a contact high off even just looking at it [NOTE - google this, could this really happen, delete this part if you find out thats not possible]. "Ah…thought walter" "this meth is going to be my gateway to a whole world of being able to buy weapons to blow Gus fring into the next fucking stratosphere"

Jesse got a text from walt to come into the chamber so he snuck away from the Griffin dormitory and flushed his self down the toilet. On the way down he saw the dead body of Myrtal. When jesse got there he said "yo mr white this chamber is poppin, you got a whole fricking meth lab in this bitch" Walt said "yes jesse, we're going to cook a lot of magic meth in this place, i got a new supplier thatll make our product the most purest meth imagable on the face of this planet earth" and jesse said "yeah bitch."

But after some thinking was done by him, jesse thought he had a question. so he said "i have a question. Why is moaning mertle dead in the toilet pipe" and walt said "it had to be done jesse, she was a threat to our operation" and jesse said "shes just a kid mr white what the hell" and walt said "actually shes over 1000 years old and she was going to tattle on us to dumbledore, you're a stooge and a buffoon if you think she had any right to live" and jesse said "you dont decide who deserves to live asshole" and pulled out a big fucking rifle and pointed it at walts head and said "i'm about to blast you into the shadow realm fucker" and walter said "no jesse yo're acting rash, are you on withdrawal from your meth again" and jesse said "yeah sorry guess im just on the rag so to speak" and they chuckled and moved on with the cook. Walt had manipulated jesse yet again with his masterful psychogy.

Walt and Jesse cooked up a batch of amazing magic meth. During when they were cooking, there was a montage set to the song "Magic" by The Cars. Get it? Normally the meth that Walt and Jesse made was blue, but the magic stuff they put in this batch actually made it glow rainbow colors. Pretty fucking crazy i know.

"Mr White we gotta call this shit Lucky Charms meth" Jesse suggested.

"How come" said Walt askingly.

Jesse grinned "cause you can taste the rainbow"

Walt sighed "Jesse you moron that's Skittles not Lucky fucking Charms."

"close enough bitch" said Jesse

When they had finished cooking up the meth Walt gave jesse a big bag with a smiley face sticker on it and said "Ok Jesse now go sell this bomb ass magic meth to whoever" and Jesse said "You got it Mr White". Jesse climbed up the toilet and left while Walt stayed behind to do whatever the fuck

After he left the chamber of Secrets, Jesse let out a big sigh because of his stressed out self. "I got to worry about selling all this meth at hogwarts, and on top of that, i have a big test in owls class" he really wanted something to take the edge off. He looked around to see if Professor Snape was scouting the halls since hes usually on hallway monitor duty at this time due to being a weird vampire looking fucker, but he wasnt. When he saw the coast was clear, Jesse snorted a little bit, just the tiniest little pinch of the magic meth for himself!

All of the sudden, faster than you could say "Abra Kabra" Jesse got really…REALLY…insanely high! He was seeing stars and the room was spinning around in circles forward and backward at the same time. He could hear music that wasnt really there and it sounded like the fucking devil was playing it with a symphony of demons from hell. It was somehow silent but also the loudest thing he had ever heard. And not only that, he also started to scream in agony as he sprouted a unicorn horn on his forehead and grew angel wings. He got X ray vision and could shoot fire out his hands, and also he couldnt breathe at all and could only. All this stuff went a way after a little bit though so he didnt freak out or anything.

Jesse though to himself "Jesus this batch kicks like a damn mule." He realized that maybe it's too powerfull for normal humans and that only wizards can safely do this meth, unlike regular meth which is fine for everyone to do. If a regular person ate a hole bag of this meth it might make them explode or something. He made a mental note about this inside his brain before going to bed.

Meanwhile, in a dark lair far away from Hogwarts (probably in a british city like Birmingham or Ireland) there was a meeting going on. There were two people at the meeting….one was Snape, which explains why he was derelict in his duties as hall monitor. The other person at the meeting was shrouded in shadowy shrouds and could not be identified.

"My Dark Lord" said Snape. "I have news to report. There are…outsiders…at Hogwarts, but dont worry, i'll take care of them." Snape also said the second part.

"Eeeeexcellent" hissed the mysterious figure. "WE cant have non wizards at Hogwarts, because i believe only pure blooded wizards should get to live on earth and that Muggals should be killed in a genocide by me." The mystery man took off his shroud to reveal he had no nose and looked like Ralph Fiennes. "You have one week to dispose of these interlopers or else you will get killed by me and the other death eaters for aiding and abetting muggles which is a crime punishable by DEATH!" said the guy.

Snape looked nervous because the conversation was making him nervous, but he covered it up by pretending he was laughing instead of being afraid "Ok Voldemort. HAHAHA i really like the idea of killing these guys" said Snape. "And there's no way i'm using them to make a shitload of drug money under your nose"

"Thats good" said the as yet unidentified man. "Since my plan is to get every wizard in the world hooked on my personal stash of Ultra Magic Heroin also known as New And Improved Butter Beer. Ultra Magic Heroin is a strain of heroin that only affects wizards, and allows you to do mind control on them to make them into zombie slaves. dont tell anyone though. And by the way dont say under your nose to me. Its a sensitive topic"

"You got it boss" Said snake. I mean snape "I'm going to go kill those guys for you" Oh wait he's british sorry. "I'm going to off those blokes for you innit"

Snape left. By the way…the mystery man? You'll just have to wait and see who it was. I dont have to tell you shit it's my story