Lula'd
Author's Note: I lost it. Oh, take a guess as to who's POV it's from – so much for never writing from Wrecker or Tech's lol Somewhat AUish because I have no idea what everyone means they didn't reunite and snuggle-pile in the end of Season 2. :( Also, this is all under the assumption that 1) Hunter's seeming-Crosshair-induced self-doubt issues are actually something from his childhood; 2) Tech would actually hold Lula; 3) two certain people would actually hug even though one of them has been officially and permanently deprived of hugs (D:); 4) and... well, scene six was just a plot bunny even though it probably breaks canon. 💖💖 But sufficiently fluffy after scene four, I think –
~ Rivana Rita
A good leader is supposed to protect his squad. Hunter may be too young to be their leader just yet, but it still so often feels like he's helpless. He isn't always certain he knows what he's doing. He tries, but it often feels like... he misses things. That there's things he should see but doesn't.
Wrecker and Tech are probably still cleaning up, and Crosshair is still locked in a storage closet somewhere, and Hunter just... left them.
He should've stayed there.
Instead, he went back to their barracks. To... what? He's not even sure why he's here. Not fully sure why he is anywhere.
He could've stayed with Tech and Wrecker from the start to make sure they weren't in trouble and that everything would be fine. Instead, he took off after his youngest brother, because Crosshair might have a hot temper, but he never lashes out at his brothers. Never, except today, apparently.
To be fair, today hasn't been a very good day.
He has always been, well, scrawny. And he struggles with physical combat. He's good with his mind, with his eyes, with numbers and intricate calculations that no one except Tech can even understand, but not at... that. And he failed a training session earlier today, and Hunter already had to break up a fight about that when he heard about another cafeteria brawl.
But stressed or no, Hunter shouldn't have yelled at him for it.
He hadn't meant to, but it came off wrong and Crosshair stormed out on them and...
Hunter tried to apologize for it. Tried every way he knew. Tried to make his brother feel better, but Crosshair yelled right back at him. Hunter's not angry at him for it. To be fair, Crosshair wasn't really angry at Hunter, either. He was just hurt.
"It's ordinary human behavior" is what Tech would say.
So yeah, he knows that.
They've always stuck out, and they've always been better than the regs in most ways. All his brothers are different. Hunter is... not. He doesn't even understand the point of his abilities half the time. Feeling so much is often overwhelming, but it doesn't... really make him different, does it?
"You'll never know what it's like to look different."
He won't. Doesn't. He looks just like the regs, even if he's not the same. Even if his skills make him different. It feels sometimes like there's a thin line between him and the rest of the regs. He tries to make up for it. Doesn't often feel like he does.
Sometimes, it feels like he can't understand his brothers, his team. That he can't relate to them or understand their struggles.
He... cares about them. They all do. But that's not really what this is.
And Hunter is their leader. He's supposed to know what he's doing. He doesn't. And what is he supposed to do if he doesn't even know what he's doing?
Hunter doesn't have a leader to turn to for support, or for anything, if he's lost. He's supposed to stay steady, level headed, and...
His eyes fall on the black and red tooka doll – Lula – that Crosshair made. It feels so silly, so childish to pick her up, but he does anyway, sitting on the floor and gathering the light weight against his chest. It's not real, and it's just an object, but somehow, holding it makes him feel slightly less alone.
Crosshair made her for Wrecker, even if he insists otherwise. And even if the very nature of their interactions with one another can be... hard sometimes, Hunter loves him most for that he's not too afraid to speak his mind.
Even if what he said hurt, it needed to be said. If he's falling short, failing his brothers, he needs to know. He needs to... fix this. Somehow. Silently, he vows to find a way, no matter how outlandish it may be.
He'll think of something to say, something to tell Crosshair when he sees him again, or... maybe this is something he should just let rest for now. Not all things have to be spoken.
But for now, Hunter just sits there, holding Lula against his chest, wondering what it would be like if he could hold his brothers like this. Wondering what it means that he even wants to.
(He's feeling better, when Crosshair finally finds him later, an almost surprising amount of guilt and uncertainty written on his face. Hunter tells him not to worry about it. Because he doesn't need to.)
**w**
Guilt is a natural human emotion, meant to trigger improvement. He knows that. They all know that. Tech has never struggled with emotions, period, not the way his brothers often do. His mind makes it... easier to process and let go of things.
They trained to undergo extreme levels of stress. They're prepared for it. They have all been injured in training and are perfectly well-equipped at handling them. But permanent injuries are... different from mild ones.
As the smartest, it just feels like he should have seen it coming. They all should have been on the lookout more, and they will learn from it.
But even Tech had frozen up for a few moments when he and Hunter finally got to Wrecker and Crosshair's position. He knew Wrecker was down, that he was injured, but he didn't expect it to be so severe. Wrecker could have died. They all could, any time, any moment on the field, but none of them realized how possible it was.
Tech knew it was possible. Of course, he did – but the war feels more real now.
Crosshair was there when it happened. He's taking it the worst. It took him a full hour and thirty-seven minutes to get out a coherent, full sentence after, and since then, he's been locked in the fresher. It's been three hours since.
Hunter was waiting outside. Then, he went to the hold, and Tech suspects he's fallen asleep since.
Currently, Tech is the only one in their room with Wrecker. His presence doesn't do anything, and really, staring at the jagged burn marks across his brother's face help nothing. It's already a guarantee that Wrecker will lose one of his eyes. The damage past that is... not fully determinable yet.
They're on the way back to Kamino, so he can get proper medical attention as quickly as possible.
It doesn't feel fast enough.
Tech already did everything he could, but he has to stay here to monitor in case... in case it gets worse.
Wrecker did take a direct blow to his head and lost a lot of blood.
His eyes suddenly fall on Lula, stashed in a corner. It's the only time Wrecker's ever brought her off Kamino, out of the safety of their room. Tech isn't entirely certain why he decided to make an exception just this once. He never paid much attention to the doll before, but Wrecker insists it helps, and he's seen Hunter with it a few times.
It's more out of curiosity's sake than anything that he finally picks her up.
The effect is purely psychological, of course, but somehow it still... helps.
It makes him feel a tiny bit less alone.
(When he wakes up, it's to Hunter sitting beside him, their shoulders touching, and Crosshair somehow climbing onto Wrecker's rack with him and curling around his legs all cat-like. They're all sleeping. Just this once, he doesn't wake them up.)
**w**
He's still not sure what it means to be awake. Echo doesn't remember anything after the Citadel, really, though there are still bits and pieces, mostly just flashes, of machines and equipment and... he doesn't really understand it.
Either way, he was gone for a year or so, and he awoke to an entirely different world where everything moved on without him, where many more of the brothers he knew had died.
Rex was still alive.
Cody was still alive.
Fives is... not.
He's gone, just like the rest of Echo's former squad. And about that, Echo just feels completely numb. His last memory, before waking up to Rex and Tech hovering over him, is Fives yelling out his name. Then the explosion, then nothing.
Echo has no idea how he survived. All he knows is that he did, and that sometimes, he wishes he didn't. Not entirely. He's glad to be back on his feet again, fighting the Separatists, back in the action. That's all he ever knew, but sometimes... it's hard to be the only one to keep on moving.
Rex and General Skywalker are the only reason Echo is still here, still breathing. Them, and the squad he's now staying with. He doesn't... know them, but they wanted him, and he wouldn't fit in with the rest of the 501st anymore. Not without Fives. At least here, memories and knowledge of how the galaxy kept moving without him won't be as crippling.
Rex and the General had come to Kamino after Anaxus to work it all out. Echo had been stated dead already. It was difficult to convince the Kaminoans to officially change that. But his General being his General came halfway across the galaxy himself to take care of it.
"It's fine," he had said, a heavy layer of guilt in his gaze. "It's my fault this happened to begin with."
"You were just doing your duty," Echo says. He hadn't blamed anyone for it, except the Separatists, for even a moment. And why would he? He knew his entire life that he was meant to fight a war for the Republic, for freedom that he would never earn himself, so why would that matter? Why should it, when he knew his whole life that he could be gone any moment and no one would really miss him – except Fives, and Rex, and... his General – because they all know they were made to fight and die for this cause.
That's all there is. And surviving may be hard, but they always keep fighting if they get back up, for as long as they can.
There's always something about General Skywalker that... looks pained when they have these conversations. No one understands why. They never really wondered. No one asked – he was always their General, and he took care of them. "Still," he says, "I... I wish we could have come back sooner." What he doesn't understand is that he came back at all is what matters – no one does that. "But this is where you're needed. I can feel it."
None of them question their General's strange senses, either. "Just look after Rex," Echo requests.
"Always," he promises. He shifts on his feet, slightly uncomfortable. He lays a hand on Echo's shoulder, a very familiar gesture for him, and that's when it first really sinks in that Echo will likely never see him again. There are endless things they could say. Nothing they will say.
Anyone else, any other situation, it would have been weird, but Anakin moves closer, and they hug each other tightly. Even if it only lasts a moment, he'll never forget that. They were... close, after all. Closer than they should've been.
But Echo's not one for following rules like he once was anymore.
"Your brothers here will take care of you," Anakin adds.
Instantly, he thinks of Crosshair's steadying hand on his shoulder, and he smiles for what feels like the first time in... a long time. "I know."
Anakin turns, pausing midway down the hall to look back again, a thousand emotions playing on his face. The Kaminoan lighting makes him look whitewashed somehow, contrasting sharply with his dark robes. Something about it is... unnerving. "The Force will be with you," he promises finally.
That was the last thing Anakin said to him. And for some reason, Echo isn't entirely certain he'll ever see him again.
Everyone else is certain this is where Echo belongs. He was, too. He still is, but sometimes, he... wonders. He's not entirely certain. Once, he was the polar opposite of Clone Force 99. He couldn't even fit in with Domino Squad, because he kept trying so hard to make them follow orders.
He couldn't adapt. To anything.
He didn't understand rules were anything short of absolute requirement.
Echo is fitting in well, he thinks. They're friendly, even if they're nothing like what he's used to.
Hunter is short and commanding, though he has a patience somehow far greater than Rex's, which is saying something. Rex was the Captain of the 501st, after all. The things he's has to deal with are insane.
Tech is one of the only people Echo's ever known who shares his knowledge of machines. Except his General, of course.
Wrecker is, well, Wrecker. He's chaotic, and somehow reminds him of a strange cross of Fives, Cutup, and Hevy in one.
Crosshair is quiet, most of the time, but he's still... he still welcomed Echo. He and Wrecker trusted him from the start, at least they seemed to.
So yes, Echo wants to stay here. He's just not entirely certain that his place isn't with the 501st. But Fives is... gone.
He's gone.
Fives. One of the only people left of Echo's squad.
And he's still struggling to get used to his body. It's hard to remember that he only has one arm, hard to relearn his balance. Everything is different now.
When he tries to sleep, he dreams. Either of the Citadel, or Skako Minor and machines and being trapped there indefinitely, or of the eel that took Cutup, or of the explosion of smoke and flames and all Echo could do was watch in mind-numbing horror as he realized Hevy was gone. (How long will it be before the same thing happens to the brothers he's with now?)
Time should settle it all down.
He's trying – and failing – to sleep, anyway, in a place as unfamiliar as this, even if it's his new home. The next time he jolts awake from a half-forming nightmare, it's to Lula being dropped on top of him. Echo jolts a bit, looking up.
"She helps," Wrecker volunteers, lumbering back to his bunk.
He still doesn't know what to think about the fact that Wrecker, apparently, has a tooka doll. It's so childish. It's somewhat endearing, too.
Even farther down from him, Crosshair is disappearing back into his own bunk. No doubt his suggestion, then.
It's the gesture that helps more than anything. "Well," Echo murmurs, just to humor them, "Alright."
And no matter how much he worries, it still feels like he sleeps a little better after that.
**w**
He loves all his brothers. It's too different to be the same, or even to compare, but still. He still thinks he loves Crosshair most. Wrecker carefully traipses over Omega's slowly growing collection and climbs into his seat at the gunner's mount, staring out across the disappearing surface of Kamino. Everything is still smoking. Crosshair is still standing there.
They left him behind again.
He chose to stay behind.
Somehow, all that time, and he just... chose to walk away, and it doesn't make any sense.
Wrecker just wants his little brother back. But somehow... he already knows it's never going to happen. Maybe he always did.
He adores Omega, yes, and her presence has made Crosshair's absence hurt far less, but nothing will ever be able to fill that gaping hole. Nothing, except... him.
Omega is nothing like Crosshair, but maybe it's just that she's so tiny and that her hair is so light, and her face looks different that reminds him of his little brother. Or maybe it's just that Omega is so tiny and breakable, and he still sees Crosshair the same way. Always has. Always will.
And Crosshair might have been really, really grumpy sometimes – most of the time – but still. He was Wrecker's only little brother. What they had was... special. He still can't understand how Crosshair could have just left them.
What was him, and what was the Empire? He didn't... sound like himself on Bracca, but he still doesn't. Did they know each other at all?
That seems impossible. But Wrecker knows that his strength has never exactly been in... intelligence, and it's not impossible to think that he could've missed something obvious. Did... he care?
A few months ago, it would've been an outlandish question. They were... closest. At least he thought they were.
Crosshair shot him. He never acted like he regretted it. He nearly shot Tech. He tried killing Omega, too. And not once has he offered a shred of remorse for any of it. It doesn't make any sense.
Now, he's not sure about anything. He – can't be.
Why didn't Crosshair come back?
Did he... care? How could he not have?
How could he hurt them? Why would he do that?
Crosshair made Lula for him. He's the only person who ever has made anything for him.
That... means something. It did. It has to. Their entire lives couldn't have been fake. They... weren't, even if, somehow, everything changed, and no one noticed.
And really? Wrecker just wants his little brother back. He hugs Lula against his chest, the only reminder of what they once had. And maybe the only reminder he'll ever have.
(And when a certain blonde climbs up after him, throws her arms around his neck and joins him, sobbing, it somehow makes him feel a little less alone.)
**w**
Omega boards the ship almost robotically. She doesn't feel herself moving of her own freewill, just like on Kamino, though there's moments she could swear that she remembers exactly how hard it was to drag herself up the ramps and inside.
She could watch Tech fly the ship away. Normally, she does, watches places to see as much as possible while they leave.
But not this time. Not today. Not now. Not when all she'll see is the under-city of Coruscant, knowing Echo is still here.
That they're leaving... without him.
Echo, the brother Omega never knew, never asked for, never thought she needed, until he was just... there. Right beside her, all that time. He's... different than the others in his own way because of his background, but it's...
How could he have just left? Her? Them? She doesn't – doesn't understand.
They're supposed to stay together. Omega never worried about losing anyone else, not since they came together. She never has, because she never knew she needed to. Losing Crosshair was... different, because he was never truly a part of... her. His absence has been a constant ache in her heart since she was little, and it... hurt, but it was something she could live with.
It was something Omega had always been afraid of, that she might not be able to be with them. That she had three of them – four, plus Echo – was more than she could ask for.
But now, he...
He's gone.
And Omega will have to wake up every single day, knowing that her presence is what made them lose Echo, is what made him leave. That, if not for her, her brothers could be doing what they were born and raised for. They wouldn't have to worry about her. They wouldn't have to give up the life they were meant to, even if... even if Echo said it was the right choice.
But he left because of that.
They were supposed to be a family. Right? How could they... how could he just leave? How could he just be gone?
Omega pulls Lula into her arms, burying her face in the doll's fabric, silently begging whatever's listening that she won't lose another one of her brothers.
**w**
He wakes up to something... soft. The surface he's lying on is hard, but still strangely familiar, even if he doesn't quite remember how. And his head is resting on something soft, something that...
Crosshair pulls his eyes open, staring at the red and black fabric someone shoved under his head. It's... familiar.
Lula.
Wrecker must have put her here.
They... came for him? He didn't... expect that. Isn't quite sure why they did – he's not one of them anymore. He left them. He chose to leave them. (Did he though? Was it really his choice? Was it any of theirs?)
"He's awake!" a voice he's only heard a few times before but still would recognize anywhere calls. The kid.
He's on Wrecker's rack, being that it's the closest to the floor. This is so painfully familiar.
Tech is the first to the back, the others not far behind.
"Welcome back, Crosshair," he says evenly, but there's a surprising level of gentle smoothness in his voice. He's... happy. They all are. It's in such stark contrast to when they last saw one another on Kamino. "How are you feeling?"
He can't remember the last time someone genuinely asked him that.
Omega looks up at him, as if sensing his thoughts, an 'I told you so' written all over her face. He huffs in response, the distant "you're still their brother, Crosshair" ringing through his mind, but she doesn't stop smiling.
Crosshair looks to Echo, who just nods his own agreement.
"You came back," he states, mostly just a little confused – they risked everything for him, and he... he left them. He left them behind. He hurt them. He's the one who walked away.
He called them, to warn them about Omega. He didn't even know if they got his message. It was cut off so fast. How did they find him? What... he doesn't know what happened. But it must've been a while, because he feels... better. Still exhausted and worn, but at least everything doesn't hurt anymore.
"You are still our brother," Tech replies, unwavering. "We are, always first and foremost, family."
He's changed. They all have, for better or worse. Mostly, it's just different. They've all... been through a lot, no doubt.
They had each other, but Crosshair doesn't doubt that did much to make it easier for them.
"You did the same for me," Echo replies.
Reluctantly, but yes, they did. They all risked themselves on what could easily have been a suicide mission to rescue Echo, even if none of them had been particularly happy about it at the time. Then he... became one of them, even if he always had a place among the regs, too.
He's been away long enough that he doesn't know what to say or do. Their armor is different. It looks... less like what they used to be, more like... something else. But not soldiers. That's not who they are anymore.
Crosshair can't imagine living any other life.
A year ago, none of them would've.
He climbs off the bunk, a little shaky, mostly from not moving for a long time.
Wrecker scoops him into a hug almost immediately, and he smothers a disgruntled yelp. Crosshair should've expected that – of course, Wrecker, of all people, is incapable of holding what happened against him, but it still somehow hurts. But with as desperate and achingly lonely he's been for so long, Crosshair can't even find it in himself to argue.
He has to remind himself that he's dangerous, and it's not safe for them to be together anymore, not after – after – but he can't find it in himself to push him away.
"We missed you," Wrecker murmurs, squeezing him tightly.
"I shot you," Crosshair reminds dubiously, sounding ridiculously strangled and muffled.
Wrecker grunts. "It's okay. It wasn't you."
It still feels like it was. He loosens his grip a bit though, and Crosshair pulls back. The others are still crowding around, their expressions ranging from hopeful to uncertain.
Hunter, unsurprisingly, is the most cautious, even if he's in front. He remembers with a sharp stab of pain the resigned look on his brother's face when Crosshair raised his rifle back on Kamino. He was going to save the kid, to keep Hunter from getting himself killed.
But with as far as everything had fallen, they didn't know that.
They didn't know him, and Crosshair doesn't entirely think he knows himself anymore, either.
Hunter had thought that Crosshair was going to kill him there, and rightfully so, and that was why he was staying so close to him. To watch him. To keep the others safe.
It is sometimes hard to remember that once used to be Crosshair's role, too.
Crosshair doesn't entirely think he can fully face Hunter, not even now. He still remembers, with far, far too much clarity, when he... nearly killed him. He could have. Crosshair hurt Hunter the worst of all of them. It was Hunter he captured, Hunter that he... tried killing repeatedly.
He doesn't know how to make up for what was lost, for what he did.
He doesn't entirely know how to address everything that happened. Doesn't really know at all – time continued, even if they were apart, no matter how much it hurts. No matter how much he wants to go back.
For a moment, they just look at each other, and Hunter steps forwards, touching his shoulder.
It feels so... familiar. It's been so long.
There is so much they could – should – say to each other, but he can't find words to. Crosshair leans slightly closer to him, mostly out of sheer desperation – he's been without the others long enough that it's... it's making it easy to forget that he's dangerous – is he? He doesn't... know.
His brother's touch is firm and warm and grounding, and he finds himself wondering how much happened to them without him, how much they've been through that he was never able to see. Once, Crosshair would always have been right there with them, watching over them. How many times have they been hurt, and he wasn't there to help?
He can't help being instinctively wary to... act on it, but he reaches back anyway, clinging to him. Crosshair knows now – learned the worst way he could've – that the galaxy is far too complicated for Hunter to be able to protect them all from it, but it's instinctive, anyway – they all have looked to Hunter as their leader. He's always done everything he can to protect them.
Even if it doesn't always work.
Hunter freezes up for a moment before pulling him into a tight embrace.
It's...
Familiar.
And whatever's left of his apprehension melts away. With Wrecker, it was different, because Wrecker is just chaotic all the way around. Hunter doesn't show affection freely.
It only lasts a moment before they step back from each other.
Omega is holding Lula now, hugging the doll against her with one arm. "You want her?" she asks, catching his gaze, holding her out.
He gave it to Wrecker when they were little, and somehow, never expected his brother to get quite so attached to it. That Omega had... something of his all the time he was gone is strangely heartwarming. As is the fact that they kept something of his in the first place.
It's...
Oddly relieving to know they still had something of his. That they had something that could comfort them when... he was away. That he wasn't entirely gone.
"That's Wrecker's," he replies flatly.
"Technically, it's... both of ours," she offers.
He glances up at Wrecker, who nods and pats her shoulder.
Well.
Okay?
He moves past the others, into the rest of the ship.
The Marauder looks... different somehow. It smells different. Feels different, but what strikes him most is how the gunner's mount has changed. They really did change everything so Omega could fit in, could become one of them. They treat her as their own. She is one of them.
She... always has been.
And Crosshair never knew her. Not until... right now.
They clearly turned the gunner's mount into a sort-of room for her. None of his brothers would want anything that color, or... any of that.
Omega passes him, climbing up to set Lula down, propping her up against the wall amidst the rest of her things before taking off towards the cockpit.
"He gave it to the kid?" he asks, mildly surprised.
"She's the one who really needed it," Hunter replies, hovering at his side, "She spent years trying to find us."
Years. Crosshair never knew her, but he can't... imagine that. It's not even been a year apart for him, and it already feels like he was shattered entirely.
The moment is interrupted by Omega's squeal. Crosshair turns to see her scrambling into the pilot's seat, Tech on her other side. "Better strap in," Echo remarks, voice tinged with amusement. Wrecker immediately takes the seat behind Omega.
Hunter pulls Crosshair to the passenger area, their arms briefly interlinked.
"The kid flies?" he asks, slightly incredulously, as they sit next to each other. The Marauder shudders beneath them unsteadily.
"Easy on the ship," Tech protests as they go for a wild dive.
Echo hasn't moved to plug himself in, either, which is unusual.
"You don't even out the flying, either?" he asks, eyeing their oldest brother.
Echo shrugs, leaning back in his seat behind Tech. "Nah. The kid's flying."
"That would defeat the point of her flying lessons," Tech replies, yelping when Omega sends the ship at another wild turn. She's spinning around almost entirely pointlessly in space now. He's starting to think she's just doing it to be annoying, and he can completely relate to that.
It's insane how badly he's missed doing... things like that, even if not quite so childish.
Hunter laughs quietly, shaking his head. It's been such a long time since Crosshair had heard his brother laugh.
"Where're we going?" Omega asks, leaning over, poking her head around the seat. She looks so happy here. They all do. It feels... whole now. He somehow doesn't think they were like this before.
"Home," Hunter calls back.
"Yes!" she squeals elatedly, and Crosshair watches as she inputs the hyperspace coordinates.
Home. His brothers have a home now, one he's never seen or been part of. He glances at Hunter.
"A lot's changed," his brother replies, settling back in his seat to watch. There's something calm and fond on his face, though, a strange peace that Crosshair never saw on him before.
Seeing them all so... calm, so comfortable, cheerful, is... contenting. They are going home now, whatever precisely that means.
Omega's small hand wraps around the lever, pulling it back, and the Marauder jolts forwards into hyperspace.
Onwards to whatever home awaits them.
THE END
Author's Note: You all know where they're going. :')
And the whole Omega-owning-Lula thing is a lot more emotional when you wonder if Crosshair made her and if snuggling with Lula reminds her of baby Crosshair. And somehow, Crosshair and Omega's relationship feels a lot deeper now... ^-^
~ Rivana Rita
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